Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Save The Best For Last (no more)

My husband may not bring me flowers everyday ... but he does the sweetest thing every morning..

This pic may look gross, but it speaks love for me.

Saya termasuk orang yg susah makan .. dan ketika saya "dilepaskan" oleh mama (dan adik saya) lalu "diberikan" kepada suami saya.. Mereka sudah berpesan, "tolong dijaga ini anak - jangan sampe ga makan..."

And I think, my husband does a very great job!

Kalo urusan makan roti -- saya selalu save the best for last!
En what it is the best part? tentunya bagian tengah2 yg paling banyak isinya...

-- dan saya bukan orang yg suka makan pinggiran roti .. (bagian coklat2nya itu loh) - kalo terpaksa harus beli roti yg ada pinggirannya - dengan sangat sedih hati, saya makan pinggirannya dulu ...
supaya akirnya, yes the best part is to be enjoyed the last!

Sejak menikah, I save the best for last no more.

My husband saves the best for me.
tiap pagi - dia selalu makan pinggiran roti.. tuk kasi saya bagian tengah yg paling nikmat --> seperti di foto ini.

He is the best ^^

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Monday, March 25, 2013


Pagi ini saya bangun dengan hati yang lemah ..
-- serasa tidak ada kekuatan tuk jalani hari ..
In my crying and praying .... saya bertanya..
"Tuhan, kapan? Dimana? dan bagaimana? .... 
I don't know what to do .. and I don't know how long I should wait... 
and I don't know if I will ever get there..... " 
Life goes on ~ regardless situasiku.
Saya tetap harus mengerjakan tanggung jawabku.

so - I did laundry today.
Pagi ini matahari bersinar terang...
dan itu membuat saya lebih hepi, karena saya bisa memberikan baju2 saya sunbathing ~ instead of putting them in the dryer :)

And - I did the next thing.

Jam 1 siang saat matahari sedang terik2nya saya keluar rumah.
I put on my sunglasses (karena saya tidak tahan silau) tapi saya tidak pakai payung (karena saya sudah pasrah kulit saya emang sudah hitam).

Sepanjang jalan, saya menikmati panasnya matahari... sungguh2 menikmati, entah kenapa.
I guess, I really needed it today!
I did enlighten and brighten my day ~

Biasanya kalo keluar tengah hari, saya selalu ketemu dengan Bapak2 yang selalu menyapa saya dengan  ,"Umbrella!!! It's hot!"
Hari ini saya reply dia "It's okay. I love sunshine :D"

Hmmm... I know, buat kita yg tinggal di negara tropis - sinar matahari adalah hal yang biasa.

Tapi untukku, hari ini ...
Sinar matahari membisikkan pesan untukku ...

Tuhan jawab doa dan kegalauan hatiku dengan teriknya matahari ...
yang adalah dari Dia..
dan yang selalu ada untukku ...

He simply said to me and proclaimed once again "I am always here for you"

Saya jadi teringat ayat ini..
Tak berkesudahan kasih setia Tuhan, tak habis-habisnya rahmatNya. 
Selalu baru tiap pagi; besar kesetiaanMu. 
"Tuhan adalah bagianku," kata jiwaku, 
oleh sebab itu aku berharap kepadaNya. 
Tuhan adalah baik bagi orang yang berharap kepadaNya, bagi jiwa yang mencari Dia. 
Adalah baik menanti dengan diam pertolongan Tuhan. 

~ and there, once again He showed me His faithfulness...
Apapun situasi yang sedang dan aku hadapi ..
Uncertain future ..
Peperangan dalam batinku ...
dan apapun itu ..
He showed me once again, sama seperti matahari ...............
Dia selalu ada untukku. Tidak berubah!
He is more than enough for me.
He is all that I need.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

How to Become Emotionally Healthy

Are you frequently overwhelmed by all you have to do? Do you often experience feelings of stress, guilt, fatigue, frustration, and anger because of the burdens you face in life?

If so, you’re not living the abundant life that God intends for you to live. God wants you to be emotionally healthy – able to live with peace and joy, no matter what circumstances you may go through.
You can enjoy that kind of life if you quit doing things that damage your soul and sabotage your ability to enjoy good emotional health. Here’s how you can change your life to be emotionally healthy:

Quit being afraid of what others think
Release yourself from the pressure of trying to please other people and focus solely on pleasing God. God’s opinion of you is the only one that ultimately matters. You have inherent worth because God has made you in His image, and you don’t need to try to earn God’s approval if you place your trust in Jesus, because Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross for your sins is enough for you to be set right with God. Take a few days to pay attention to how you may be trying to use words and actions to gain approval from other people. Then pray about what you notice, asking God to empower you to change those unhealthy habits and give you the confidence to simply be yourself when interacting with people. Read Bible verses that describe God’s love for you, and reflect on them often. Choose to base your identity on God’s love for you rather than on what others think of you.

Quit lying. 
Even if you don’t deliberately lie, you may be lying to God, yourself, or other people without realizing it if you’re not careful to live with complete emotional honesty. For example, do you find yourself avoiding commenting on something when telling the truth would be awkward or painful? God wants you to feel free to always speak the truth in love – and the degree to which you speak the truth is the degree to which you are free. Ask God to give you the strength to live with emotional integrity in every situation from now on. Expect conflict to occur in your relationships after you change the dynamics of them by being honest about your views. But trust that God will help you through it well if you proceed respectfully and in the right timing while avoiding blame and taking responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings.

Quit dying to the wrong things. 
While God does want you to die to sinful things that harm your soul, He doesn’t want you to deprive yourself of gifts He makes available to you to nurture your soul. So don’t deny yourself healthy pleasures, such as taking walks outdoors, getting together with friends for a meal or concert, or pursuing a hobby you enjoy. Keep in mind that you must care well for yourself before you can care well for other people God wants you to serve (such as your spouse and children). Accept the reality that you have emotional, mental, and physical limits to what you can do without becoming overly stressed – and realize that those limits are gifts from God, meant to help you make wise, healthy choices. Discover yourself by getting to know your heart (your thoughts, feelings, and values), your story (how your past has influenced the way you think and behave now), and your personality. Once you learn more about yourself, use that information to care for yourself well from now on.

Quit denying anger, sadness, and fear. 
Embrace the full range of your emotions – including difficult feelings like anger, sadness, and fear – so that you can learn what God wants you to learn from them. Instead of denying or suppressing your emotions, decide to feel them fully, so you can explore them. Consider recording your feelings in a journal to help you identify your emotions and reflect on them. Ask God to help you discern the specific reasons why you’re feeling the way you are. Then take appropriate action, responding to the information your feelings give you however God leads you to do so.

Quit blaming. 
Shift your focus away from blaming others for the problems in your life and toward taking personal responsibility. Realize that you’re not a victim; you can choose to solve some problems and trust God in situations you can’t control. Practice these skills to start changing your life for the better: setting boundaries, speaking up, saying “yes” or “no” honestly, paying attention to your feelings, taking care of yourself, confronting yourself to deal with sin in your life, remaining hopeful in every situation, thinking carefully about your decisions, and acting courageously to follow where God leads you.

Quit over-functioning
Decide to stop doing for other people anything that they can and should do for themselves. Ask God to give you the courage to change the rules of your relationships so that you’re no longer taking responsibility for others in unhealthy ways. Clearly and calmly explain the changes you’re making to the people who will be affected by your new, healthier choices. Prepare for chaos at first, as they figure out how to adjust to the changes. Stand firm and move forward with your plans, regardless of how they react to them, trusting the Holy Spirit to help you every step of the way.

Quit faulty thinking. 
Break the habit of thinking in faulty ways, such as all-or-nothing thinking, taking things personally, and thinking that things will never change. Read and reflect on the Bible often and pray for the Holy Spirit to renew your mind every day, so your mind will be filled with truth. Ask God to give you the wisdom to know when not to follow your feelings. Stop making assumptions about other people without verifying the facts. Whenever you catch yourself falling into faulty thinking in a particular situation, ask yourself what new way you can respond that, though unfamiliar, may be more likely to succeed. Also, consider what you’ll regret years from now if you don’t do something to change your situation, and let that motivate you to change.

Quit living someone else’s life
Don’t hand control of your life over to other people. Instead, do your best to discover and fulfill God’s unique purposes for you. Listen to your inner rhythms to figure out the best times and ways for you to arrange your activities without becoming overwhelmed. Set boundaries with everyone with whom you have relationships to keep them emotionally healthy. Let go of any ways you may be trying to control other people’s lives; give them the freedom to make their own choices in life, and enjoy the freedom that you now have to do the same.

by. Whitney Hopler

A report on the practical applications of Geri (and Pete) Scazzero's new book, The Emotionally Healthy Woman: Eight Things You Have to Quit to Change Your Life (Zondervan, 2013).

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

I want to love you

One of thousand things I love so much about my husband is he always knows what to say at the right time.
- membuat hatiku meleleh dan mengubah air mata sedih menjadi air mata bahagia dan sukacita.

It was one year ago ...
I don't really remember what happened that day .. but I ended up crying alone on my bed, and feeling really2 devastated.
udah malam - hmm hampir pagi around 3am.. and kira2 begini isi email-nya:

E: I have nothing, I can't give anything to you. 

A: Not true. You give me love. And I am very grateful for that. 

E: I don't know how to love you anymore :( 

A: kata Alkitab, ini caranya: 
being patient, being kind. 
does not envy, does not boast, not being proud. 
does not dishonor others, not self-seeking, not easily angered, keeps no records of wrongs. 
does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 
always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

Setelah terima email ini, saya makin down ~~~ :( :( semakin ngerasa gagal dalam mencintai ...

E: How can I say "I love you", kalo aku ga... 
being patient, being kind. 
does not envy, does not boast, not being proud. 
does not dishonor others, not self-seeking, not easily angered, keeps no records of wrongs. 
does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 
always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres? 
means, I dont love you??? 

A: Ketika kita bilang "I love you", yang kita katakan adalah "I want to love you" 
I want to do 
~ being patient, being kind. 
does not envy, does not boast, not being proud. 
does not dishonor others, not self-seeking, not easily angered, keeps no records of wrongs. 
does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 
always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres...... ~ to you. 
I love you, I want to love you say.. 

Saat itu juga, tangisan saya jadi makin banjir...
Walaupun hati saya sedang pedih -- walaupun saya tidak mengerti kenapa begitu susahnya mencintai orang yang sangat saya cintai ...
I know that I always always want to love him! -- and more importantly, I know he always always loves me .. and always always wants to love me unconditionally ...
Though we fail sometimes...
Though we do the opposite of loving... but we know that we WANT to love each other.. and we never stop wanting it!

I remember, jauh sebelum saya bertemu suami saya - masa single dalam penantian ...
my uncle (who isn't a Christian) berpesan:
"Lyn, kamu sabar yah ... cari cowo yang bisa sayang sama kamu seperti yang ada di alkitab itu tuh ... kasih itu sabar dst.. emang jarang sih ada cowo yang bisa sungguh-sungguh sayang kamu kayak gitu.. tapi sabar aja.. TUNGGU sampe kamu dapat yang begitu!" 

and guess what, God gave me even better!
Not only a husband who loves me that way, but also always reminds me to love that way too!
hmm actually, he doesn't talk much, but his action talks louder.
He doesn't talk about love. He DOES love.

Happy Valentine's Day, my love.
~ your beloved ~ and a blessed wife, indeed!

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Just One Thing

Happy New Year :D :D

haha, dah telat banget emang.. tadi tiba2 kaget kalo 22 hari dah berlalu dari tahun 2013... better late than never... :$ :$

New Year Eve kemarin, actually I was pretty excited.. since ini tahun baru pertama for me as a married woman... I was thinking that on new year eve, we could spend time sama2 tuk refleksi tahun lalu dan rencana tuk tahun ke depan.
Hmmm.. but, my husband was sick... and I was really2 thankful that he could sleep well that nite..

So there I was, "alone" on my new year eve... spent time to look through my resolutions dari tahun2 yg lalu.

Beberapa hal sudah ter-"accomplished" -- shallow stuffs, like nyetir mobil, losing weight, exercise regularly...
or some more "noble" stuffs -- reading books!! (remember, I naturally don't read. I struggle to read!!!)

2013?! How?
Ketika aku mulai mikirin..... hmmm, pengen 2013 mau gmana yaaa?

Setelah melihat tahun2 ku yg lalu ..
Masa2 terburukku ...
dan juga masa2 terindahku ...
Aku berkesimpulan ... cuma ada 1 hal yang ingin aku kejar tahun ini...

"Remain in God and He will remain in me" ...

Karena ketika aku melihat ke belakang, aku menyadari ....
Masa2 terburukku adalah bukan ketika masalahku paling dahsyat... tapi adalah ketika aku paling jauh dari Dia, ketika aku mengandalkan diriku sendiri....
dan masa terindahku adalah bukan ketika aku lepas dari masalah .. tapi ketika I remained in Him.

Aku menyadari .... apart from him, I can do nothing... and actually, apart from him, I am nothing..

aku berdoa biar terus nempel kepada pokok anggur...
mau berbuah.... dengan menempel ke Dia..

of course, aku masi ada hal-hal lain ... olahraga rajin, memasak (jreng jreng!!!!!!!), urus suami, mulai pelayanan baru di sini, settling down in other areas in my life... (my new life) ....
but one thing I know for sure...
the first thing -- to be put on my number one list is
my sumber energi! yang memungkinkan other things to happen and to be accomplished!

"Yes I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing." - Jesus Christ -