FEAR FACTOR

Selama 2 bulan pake kawat gigi, aku ga pernah setakut ini kontrol ke dokter gigi.

Karena hari itu -- aku harus cabut gigi >.<

Luckily, aku datang dgn sepupu'ku -- yg juga mau pasang kawat. *jadi ada teman sengsara*

Dia dcabut 3. Aku cuma 2. Hore :D *cabutnya 1-1 kok*

Walau cuma 2 - namanya cabut mah, sakit sakit aja. Aku takkkkuuuttt luar biasa, to be honest with you~ tapi aku sok tegar, kenapa? JAIM donk, karena aku bawa dede sepupu yg jauh lebiiiiiiiiiiih takut dari aku!

Dan takutnya real bgt, ga kayak aku. Masi sok tegar and cool!

Bibirnya bergetar. Begitu juga tangan dan kaki-nya~ Pertama, I thought it was kinda cute.

Tapi lama2 .. "Ciiii, aku takut banget. Aku takut banget!" *dah mana, papa mama nya ga ikut. Jadi si cici lah yg harus menenangkan si dede* Ga tega banget.. :$

Dalam hati yg, "Duiillah, cici juga takut banget nih!"

Tapi naluri ke-cici-an langsung keluar ... dan bilang "De, tenang saja. Cabut gigi tidak sesakit yang kamu bayangkan. Jarum itu pun tidak semengerikan yang kamu bayangkan. Yang membuat kamu takut sekali hanyalah pemikiran kamu. Tenang saja, dokter ini dah biasa kok. Percaya :)"

Akirnya setelah bbrp menit, dia berhasil tenang... en CABUTZ!!

Dan tibalah, giliran cici!

Oh yeah, baby, aku harus makan omonganku sendiri!

I speak to myself -- "Ini tidak semengerikan yang aku bayangkan!"

At that moment, I realized one thing dalam hidupku...

Seringkaliiii ............ aku membayangkan sesuatu lebiiiiiiih dari kenyataannya.

Yang membuatku TAKUT - KUATIR berlebihan.

Aku ga pernah ngerti, kenapa dede2ku suka banget nonton SpongeBob! Sampai one day -- aku nonton cuma 3 menit menemani mereka. Dan ternyata, karena lucu~ :D

Ceritanya gini.. Spongebob and Patrick lagi mau pegi ke theme park. (yoi, di bawah laut). One ride yg mereka takutin banget adalah roller coaster. (oooh, I truly understand them :$)

Sampe2 - sblm mereka actually pegi ke theme park itu, SpongeBob mimpi ... mimpinya adalah -----

mulai dari kereta itu berjalan -------- naik ke puncak tertinggi ---- turun dengan kecepatan super cepat ------ and deng, rel-nya rusak ---- tiba2 Spongebob dan Patrick terlempar --- kemana? --- ke liang kubur yg 2-2nya udah ada namanya, nama mereka b2 --

Aku ketawa super ngakak ..... pas itu!! I was like "I could relate..I could relate"

Esok harinya, bener2 nih mereka naek ride-nya! *hebat juga, dah mimpi buruk gt, masi tetep naek! haha*

And, u could guess the ending..

Turun ride-nya... They danced "We didn't die.. we didn't die!"

Ooh, how I could relate, really! I have experienced it myself.

Disneysea - Tower of Terror ... (itu loooh, yg kita di angkat ke atas setinggi-nya terus dibuang ke bawah >.<)

Dari awal, setelah my cousin and my boyfriend looked very excited mau naik *it was the only ride they really looked forward buat naek, malah*... aku dah super stresss... and literally -- jantung berdebar2 ga berhenti.

Makin parah -- pas ngantri -- the whole 2 hours, aku pucat pasi -- dan takuuuuuuuuuttttt luar biasa! :$

Aku berharap -- "coba aku ga sok jago".. kayak uncle-ku yg tunggu di luar ... dengan alasan "ah, ngapain ngantri 2 jam..? gue nonton parade aja!" padahal takuut tuh :p

Sepanjang ride -- aku tutup mata! Dtambah mengerikan -- some japanese girls di belakang teriak kenceng bgt "Yameetteeeeeee --- yabaiii yabaaaiiiii" artinya "stop it stop it .. parah parah.. gawat!"

See? I was the only rider with closed eyes :$

And, setelah turun .. apa yg aku rasakan...?!

"Ooh, gitu doank toh? Kapan2 bole lagi!!!" *Yeeee? Emang Chiba deket, lyn?*

THE TERROR BEHIND ME >.<

Alrite, I might berhasil mengalahkan ketakutanku dgn tetep sok jago naek Tower of Terror!

Tapi -- kebahagiaan-ku berkurang! Aku takut sepanjang ride!

and.. I missed the most beautiful part! Saat we're on the top of the tower -- itu adalah saat u should have your eyes wide opened. To see the beauty of Disney Sea! And, me? Because of my super tiny heart, I closed my eyes -- and wished "segeralah berakhir"

Dari dokter gigi - Spongebob dan Tower of Terror..

aku realized that --

seringkali kekuatiranku dan ketakutanku mengurangi SUKACITA (the thrill from Tower of Terror) dgn sempurna. dan BLESSINGS (the beauty of Disneysea) yg sudah Tuhan sediakan di depan sana.

Jim Elliot tulis ini dalam suratnya ke Elisabeth Elliot,

Ingatlah bawah bayangan suatu benda sering melampau ukuran benda itu sendiri (apalagi jika cahayanya begitu rendah pada horizon) dan meskipun sebagian ketakutan terhadap masa depan mungkin akan memamerkan kegelapannya yg mengerikan saat kau mendekatinya, tapi semuanya itu hanya sebuah bintik (a speck) saat dilihat dr seberang. Oh, kiranya Ia sering memulihkan kita dengan "aspek (aspect) dr sebrang" untuk melihat sesuatu sebagaimana Ia melihatnya, untuk mengingat bahwa Ia berelasi dengan kita bagaikan dengan anak2Nya.

Oke -- Tower of Terror might be just a little thing --

tapi seberapa sering, kekuatiran kita akan hari depan membuat kita ga mampu melangkah, bahkan mundur?

Or seandainya, dengan berani kita tetap melangkah pun, tidak ada sukacita along the way? Karena kita masi memegang teguh kuatir dan takut kita - dan belum menyerah~

"Serahkanlah kekuatiranmu kepadaNya, sebab Ia memelihara kamu." begitu kata Rasul Petrus.

Entah itu a new job, moving out, a new relationship, a new step of relationship, graduate school -- or any decision yg saat ini sedang kita gumulkan (baca= takutkan). If God clearly says "GO!"

Don't let your fear and worries hold you back!

There are joy and blessings God has provided, you just need to take a step.

Dan terlebih, Dia jelas tahu apa yg akan kita lalui.

*bukan berarti kita selonong boy - ga berhikmat ya! Kalo dah jelas2, begitu ada orang teriak, kita kaget, pingsan. Itu berarti jantung ga kuat! Jangan sok2 jago naek roller coaster! *

Tapi, kalo ketakutan itu hanya krn pemikiran kita yg terlalu kreatif.. mari serahkan kepada sang Ahli tuk mengubahnya menjadi damai sejati!

Again, Filipi 4:6-7 :) Let Him work in you!

Oh btw, buat Anda sang Pemberani - jangan juga anggap ketakutan seseorang itu hal yg kecil loh :$ krn most of the time, we are really freaking scared! >.< Don't laugh at us! Understand and encourage us..

It takes a courage sometimes to tell how scared we are! We need someone to have sympathy.

Once, ketika aku shared ke anak2 remaja, bgmana aku takut bgt naek roller coaster. One teenage boy said this "I prayed before I took the ride ci. Awalnya aku takut banget, setelah itu, gak lagi :)". What an encouragement!!

Let's have a super joy and super peace along the ride with the Lord!

He's the one who has the complete picture, and after all - He is in control! Trust Him! *as I trusted the dentist and Disney sea :$*

We are just to enjoy the ride! :D :D

have a peaceful new year!

December 22nd, 2010

Hampir setiap kali aku jadi MC natal *sejauh yg kuingat*, aku pasti mengutip Lukas 2, bagian dimana para malaikat muncul kepada para gembala (mari2 baca lagi!!). Bagiku itu adalah bagian termegah, aku membayangkan bintang di langit spt malam biasanya, dimana para gembala lagi asik beristirahat, tiba2 JRENG JRENG *nah ini aku ga bisa bayangin seberapa hebohnya malam itu* :

"Jangan takut, sebab sesungguhnya aku memberitakan kepadamu kesukaan besar untuk seluruh bangsa: Hari ini telah lahir bagimu Juruselamat, yaitu Kristus, Tuhan, di kota Daud. Dan inilah tandanya bagimu: Kamu akan menjumpai seorang bayi dibungkus dengan lampin dan terbaring di dalam palungan."

Dan tiba-tiba tampaklah bersama-sama dengan malaikat itu sejumlah besar bala tentara sorga yang memuji Allah, katanya: "Kemuliaan bagi Allah di tempat yang mahatinggi dan damai sejahtera di bumi di antara manusia yang berkenan kepada-Nya."

Dengan imaginasiku yg sangat terbatas ini pun, aku merinding membayangkan malam itu.

Lalu biasanya kuajak jemaat menyanyikan lagu Natal favoritku “Dengarlah Malak Bernyanyi” => Marilah kita memuji Sang Juruselamat bersama dengan para malaikat.

Natal kali ini pun, tetap bagian ini menjadi bagian yg aku terus bayangkan dan nikmati – namun ada satu bagian yg berulang kali terulang dan berbicara padaku kali ini, yaitu sang ibu .. Maria.

Setelah kehebohan yg terjadi *yg sesungguhnya jauh sebelumnya dia sudah tau*, Alkitab mencatat =

“Tetapi Maria menyimpan segala perkara itu di dalam hatinya dan merenungkannya.”(Lukas 2:19)

Hal yg sangat bertentangan dengan para wanita pada umumnya, *ok, setiap wanita berbeda* anggaplah aku, hal yg tidak heboh saja – bisa jadi heboh karena aku, apalagi hal yg sudah heboh – sepertinya mustahil bagiku tuk menyimpan dalam hati dan merenungkannya. Most of the time, reaksi pertama ku terhadap kehebohan adalah membuatnya semakin heboh, bukannya memikirkannya terlebih dahulu.

Bagian Alkitab selanjutnya pun mencatat, ketika Yesus yg berumur 12 tahun – stayed di Yerusalem - hilang dari pandangan orang tua-nya, ketika setelah 3 hari baru “ketemu” dengan Yesus, ternyata Yesus asik mengajar di Yerusalem, sebagai Ibu, Maria bertanya “kenapa bikin kami kuatir?”. Yesus jawab, “Loh, disini kan rumah BapaKu”, entah apa perasaan Maria saat itu, namun sekali lagi Alkitab mencatat = “But his mother treasured all these things in her heart.” (Lukas 2:51)

Wooow!! Mungkin kita ga akan pernah bisa terbayang situasi Maria *anak hilang, 3 hari baru ketemu, ga ada cell phone saat itu*, namun reflecting ke diriku sendiri – seberapa sering, ketika things happen in my life *yg tidak sesuai dengan rencanaku*, terutama ketika hal tsb sulit dimengerti, aku selalu berusaha tuk cari tau – figure it out right away, get it fixed and back to my plan– pergi ke sana sini – bertanya ke sana ke mari – tanpa terlebih dahulu reflect "kira2 apa yah yg Tuhan mau aku belajar dari ini semua?"

Aku percaya ini bukan berarti Maria adalah wanita kesepian, ga punya temen tuk curhat (kalo bahasa kerennya skrg), nope! Tapi Maria tau kepada siapa dia harus communicate-kan pertama semua things yg terjadi dalam dirinya. Dia tahu kepada siapa dia harus bertanya, and dia jelas tahu posisi dirinya -"I am the Lord's servant, may Your word be to me fulfilled." Luke 1:38

Elisabeth Elliot dalam "Passion and Purity" tulis gini =

But the things that we feel most deeply we ought to learn to be silent about, at least until we have talked them over thoroughly with God.

Dari sekian banyaknya pelajaran indah di buku ini, ini salah satu kalimat yg terus aku usahakan to put in into practice. *ingat, 1. Aku cewe tulen. 2. Aku sanguine sejati. Ngerti kan betapa susahnya hal ini? ini pun masi belajar*

Merenungkan dan mengkomunikasikan kepada Tuhan, menolong kita tuk melihat circumstances dari kacamata Allah, mengingat kembali akan janjiNya dan penyertaanNya yang sempurna, dan ingat akan posisi kita :

- kita adalah hamba yg mau taat kepada atasan kita - kita adalah bejana yg mau dibentuk oleh pejunan kita - kita adalah anakNya yg mau dididik menjadi serupa seperti Dia -

One of my 2011 resolutions is to be peaceful in all circumstances (i know, it's hard >.<) Aku menyadari, memasuki tahun yang baru, things might go wrong - unexpected- ga sesuai dengan my plan. Dan Maria memberi teladan - how it is to be peaceful - with those 2 verses, I will say "Be it unto me according to Your word" and I will "treasure all things and ponder them in my heart".

Aku sangat bersyukur Christmas berdekatan dengan New Year *bukan karena liburnya makin panjang*, tapi karena = as the reason we celebrate Christmas is to celebrate the birth of our Savior who brings joy and hope to the world, Christmas always refreshes me and brings hope to enter the new year, like this time :D

Merry Christmas all, and have a peaceful new year!

how i want to spend my last days in 2010 ~

December 2nd, 2010

Memasuki Desember, sejak ku-kecil, selalu ada joy yang tidak dapat digantikan oleh bulan manapun, u know - Christmas' songs and decorations, and buat-ku, yang bikin selalu bahagia adalah persiapan acara Natal, entah itu nari - nyanyi or drama - bagiku itu adalah hal terindah yg dpt kukerjakan dalam hidupku (saat itu)!

Di remaja, ya, masi ada itulah acara Natal - hanya saja lebih sibuk, as in aku jadi bagian yg ngurusin acaranya, ga cuma pengisi acara. Namun bedanya, ada joy yg betul2 joy, karena aku tau siapa yg aku layani (aku sungguh2 mengenal sang Juruselamat yg lahir saat Natal itu ketika remaja).

Masa2 kecil (SD) sampai remaja - adalah masa2 yg sangat teratur - sekolah - ulangan umum - libur natal - sekolah ulangan umum - libur kenaekan kelas dan begitu lagi! Jadi pretty much, kita bisa mengatur kesibukan kita sesuai schedule yg teratur dan tidak berubah itu. Kalau masa2ku sampai remaja - setiap Desember itu diisi dengan, "what kind of Christmas celebration I have this year?", yup ketika SD - dgn alasan hanya tuk hepi2, ketika remaja - dgn alasan it is for HIM! superjoy!

Semakin beranjak dewasa, somehow - Desember not only reminds me of Christmas *JOY*, but also reminds me that "I am getting older" - "udah lewat lagi lah ini setahun" - "aduh saatnya untuk refleksi diri dan cek resolusi taon ini yg sudah kesampean dan belum" en bersiap2 tuk resolusi taon depan. *THINK HARD*

Tahun ini (sesungguhnya bbrp tahun belakangan ini), Desemberku selalu diisi dengan ketegangan - rushing dengan banyaknya hal yg harus kukerjakan dan belum, padahal dah mau kelar ini tahun. *kupikir* Ditambah "perasaanku" ttg kegagalan tahun ini "I don't exercise much!" "I haven't given much!" "I've failed in these areas" and so on...

Apalagi tahun ini, with my sister's wedding that is just around the corner - tiap hari aku bangun dengan "tanggal berapa ini?" (i am counting days)- "Oh dear God, grant me strength and wisdom to deal with my day, it's just too much somehow!" ~~~ en always, I check on my bb - liat any emails or bbm or sms yg masuk, entah itu related dgn kerjaan or tanggungjawab ku yg laen >.< "perlu siapin ini siapin itu!"

Dgn semuanya itu, aku sampe b'pikir - "there's no way bisa ntn Rapunzel 3D - pasti deh, by the time I have time to watch, uda keburu turun itu film - spt Step Up 3D-ku..huhu T_T 'coz i have no time no time! there's no time to hepi2"

And u know what, semua pemikiran itu bikin aku leemeeees dari pagi tuk jalani hari, thinking too much >.<

Dan pagi ini, dateng email dari Proverbs 31 Ministries judulnya "Don't Overthink It" - just by reading the subject, I knew He spoke to me this morning, and yeah - there was a smile on my face.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with my life — and I’m running out of time to figure it out. What if I never find it? Will I always be unhappy and unfulfilled? Will I never achieve my purpose? What will God do about that – will He call me a bad servant? But I can’t help it. Why doesn’t He answer my prayers for direction?

Maybe I’m just too sinful or something. I know I should read the Bible more. Is this limbo I’m in some kind of punishment for that? Am I really so much worse than everybody else? Maybe I just don’t have any special gifts or talents. Or they just never got developed. Maybe that’s it, and maybe now it’s too late. So what do I do now? I don’t know what I’m supposed to do …

Does this resemble your thinking sometimes? Perhaps not about your calling, but about finding a spouse, or affording a house, or exercising regularly, or a conflict with your mother or boss. Do you tend to overthink things? To worry and ruminate? To endlessly, passively, excessively ponder the meanings, causes and potential consequences of your problems? Do you dwell on them?

Many of us believe that when we feel down about something we should try to evaluate our feelings and our situation from every angle to attain insight and find solutions to relieve our unhappiness. However, a host of research in the last 20 years has shown that dwelling on thoughts like this creates negative outcomes: it sustains or worsens sadness, fosters negative thinking, depletes motivation, saps energy, interferes with concentration, and typically impairs our problem-solving.

Professor Sonja Lyubomirsky writes: “Although people have a strong sense that they are gaining insight into themselves and their problems during their ruminations, this is rarely the case. What they do gain is a distorted, pessimistic perspective on their lives.” She adds, “You need to free yourself from the clutch of your ruminations – in other words, immediately stop overthinking.”

Based on what he wrote in Philippians 4:6-13, I think the apostle Paul would agree with the professor.

Philippians 4:

6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 9 Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.

10 How I praise the Lord that you are concerned about me again. I know you have always been concerned for me, but you didn’t have the chance to help me. 11 Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. 12 I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. 13 For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

As we see, in verse six, Paul gives three clear instructions for those of us who ruminate on our problems. He says:

1) do not worry about anything

2) pray about everything

3) thank God for everything

What if today we took this instruction to heart and put it into practice? What if today we decided not to worry about anything? What if when we found ourselves worrying, we stopped and handed the situation over to God in prayer? What if we then thanked Him for taking care of the issue?

In fact, what if we spent most of our mental free-time today thinking about what good care our awesome God takes of us?

What if we counted our blessings and God’s acts of faithfulness today — and again tomorrow and next week too? What would happen then?

Paul says in verse seven, we will begin to experience amazing peace — a kind of peace we can’t even imagine. Peace that makes no earthly sense! This kind of peace is so powerful that it has a protective function on our hearts and minds — which only makes it easier for us to stop worrying and be thankful.

That sounds like a state of happiness to me! So let’s not over-think it today. Let’s not under-pray it either. Let’s actively choose to have a happy, thankful day. And then let’s get up tomorrow and do it again.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yes -- 2010 emang sudah hampir habis, tapi aku mau isi sisa 29 hari di tahun ini experiencing His amazing peace and joy.

I choose not to over-think things, not to under-pray them either!

I will still make my "to do list" 'til eoy 2010 and my "2011 resolutions" - but I choose not to worry about them, yet to pray about them, and thank Him for EVERYTHING!

So, I can laugh (OUT LOUD) without fear of the future (Proverbs 31:25) hohoho :D :D

* and I guess, spending 2 hours (+1 hour di jalan) saying hello to Rapunzel with my sis won't cost my time much, huh? *

"Don't let your emotional tanks run low"

(taken from "Fit to be Tied" by Bill and Lynne Hybels chapter 11 "Living in Crisis Mode")

The Christian community has a pretty good track record for ignoring the emotional side of life.…....
Most Christian look at only one gauge: the spiritual one. They assume if they are sincerely walking with Christ, if they are praying and receiving sound teaching, if they are worshiping publicly and privately, then everything is okay.
A few Christian go a step further and check out the physical gauge. They believe, as we do, that part of Christian obedience, part of making ourselves fully available for God’s use, is to take care of their bodies. ….. They are convinced that if they keep the spiritual and physical gauges in order they will be able to work hard, stand firm, and win the battles until the day they die.

But as crucial as those gauges are, there is a third gauge, THE EMOTIONAL GAUGE, and neglecting to pay attention to it has been the downfall of many spiritually strong and physically healthy people. ……………

The emotional depletion eventually produces a shrinking heart. This is a heart that does not worship as authentically as it once did, or loves God as passionately as it used to. It is a heart that no longer sensitive to the needs of others, a heart that has lost the fire of compassion. ………………..

Emotional depletion also leaves us vulnerable to sin. People who are emotionally exhausted, or whose emotions have been neglected, begin to cry out on a psychological level for comfort, for release, for escape, for something that will make them feel good or satiate their senses. They begin to crave quick hits of pleasure. They are lured by temptations that had never tempted them before. Activities they had never considered suddenly become live options. ………………

The sad thing about emotional depletion is that it makes sincere, godly people act as if they are “out of their minds”. It twists personalities and alters behavior to the point where people become unrecognizable to co-workers, friends and spouses. Ultimately, it drives people to hurt those they love the most. ………………

We tend to view recreational as a luxury, as something to engage in if we have nothing or productive to do. …………. But, far from being a luxury, it may be a necessary antidote to chronic emotional fatigue…

Are your emotional batteries low? Has your heart shrunk? Do you think you might be heading for a crash? ………

Don’t rush from emotionally draining to the next. Don’t live so fast that you never have time for replenishing recreation or relationships. Don’t neglect your need to trickle charge!

Perhaps you, too, need to make some radical change in your life. Maybe you need to revise your job description. …. Maybe you need to resign from that board or drop that extra class. Another answer may be to refuse to take on so many projects, …or downscale your goals. …………………

How good, after all, is an opportunity that throws you into emotional depletion?
How great is a lifestyle that never gives you time to enjoy life?

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." - Jesus Christ -

cherish the moment, please!

(from my fb notes, March 19th 2010)

Bolak balik ke smukie beberapa saat belakangan ini membuat aku flash back sejenak masa2 di sma dulu. Mulai dari perjalanan ngelewatin senen-cideng-tomang-TA.. (masi terheran2… kenapa dulu mampu sekolah begitu jauh .. sampe ke tanjung duren), mengingat masa2 selalu telat, lari2an dan ditungguin ibu duma di depan lobby, kalo masi hoki bisa pake lift naek, ruang kelas yg membawa kenangan yg gak bisa diungkapkan, guru2 yg aku selalu respect, dan tentunya pengalaman di PSK.. (doa di lorong2, beresin bangku lab kimia buat PD, dan perpus buat PSK tentunya, jarangnya menikmati istirahat karena ada aja yg mesti dikerjain) ..

Semua kenangan itu membuat ku berpikir… ”if only I could turn back the time....
I would’ve done this and that..
I would’ve never done this and that..
I would’ve done this earlier, much better… "

But the fact is… there’s nothing about the past I can change.

I remember when I was still in college, how I really looked forward to go back to Indo - spend time with my family.
And now, I am here, back for good, I really look forward ‘til one day I can visit Japan again.
If only I had known how much I would miss Japan, I would’ve enjoyed my time in Japan to the fullest and never thought of going back to Indo that bad.

The list can go on.
Gmana pas di SD, pengen cepet2 SMP, SMP --> SMA, SMA --> kuliah, kuliah --> kerja..
Lalu ..sekarang kerja pengen balik kuliah, kuliah --> SMA, SMA --> SMP, SMP -->SD (hmmm.. udah lupa sih)

The point is..
keinginanku mengenang dan kembali ke masa lalu.. atau.. meloncat dari keadaan skrg untuk ke naik level berikut dalam hidupku .. membuat aku melewati moment2 indah masa kini.

Seandainya aku bisa mengarang dengan kata2 yg lebih indah, dan membuat kalimat ini jadi less complicated.. hehe.. tapi thanks to Mr. Steven Curtis Chapman yg mengarang lagu yg begitu indah (selain of course suaranya yg begitu ganteng!). Let me share with you...

“Miracle of the Moment”
It’s time for letting go
All of our if only’s
‘Cause we don’t have a time machine
And even if we did
Would we really want to use it?
Would we really want to go change everything?
‘Cause we are who and where and what we are for now
And this is the only moment we can do anything about

There’s only one who knows
What’s really out there waiting
In all the moments yet to be
And all we need to know
Is He’s out there waiting
To Him the future’s history
And He has given us a treasure called right now
And this is the only moment we can do anything about

Chorus:
So breathe it in and breathe it out
Listen to your heartbeat
There’s a wonder in the here and now
It’s right there in front of you
And I don’t want you to miss
The miracle of the moment

And if it brings you tears
Then taste them as they fall
And let them soften your heart
And if it brings you laughter
Then throw your head back
And let it go, let it go
You gotta let it go
Listen to your heartbeat

I love how Mr. Chapman used the words :
'Cause we are who and where and what we are for now
And this is the only moment we can do anything about..

So, i guess.. daripada mellow2 mikir mau balik sma en kuliah .. or worry about the things in the future yg ge-je and i can't do much.. i will choose to enjoy this moment to the fullest... coz i know i will miss "this now" someday in the future.. haha
But it doesn't mean.. i don't learn from the past, and prepare - pray for the future loh!
No regrets! No worries! Enjoy to the MAX every single moment - the good one - the bad one - the hard one - the happy one - THIS MOMENT!

There's nothing wrong about remembering the past and thinking about the future.. but don't miss the miracle of the moment!!
He has given us a treasure called right now.
This is the only moment we can do anything about!