Find Rest My Soul

Hello, girls :)

I know it's been forever I haven't updated the next chapter of our Preparing to be a Help Meet's journey. Nor any writings about anything :$
If you are expecting this post would be it... I am so sorry, that I will disappoint you.

The last 3 weeks , I've been running on empty. I had driven my car (my own life) until it was out of gas. I had no energy left. I was extremely tired, physically and emotionally. I used to be "a friend you can always talk to" for I always had answers. But, these last weeks, girls, I even couldn't give any suggestion for every simple questions asked to me. My only answer during these weeks was "I will pray for you" - and I know, I know, that's the best thing I can do. 'coz God surely takes care of everything.

If you are like me, tend to do more, serve more. Take care of others (means EVERYONE), not yourself. Push beyond limit. Take any responsibilities (whatever) ... beware, girls!
I am not saying that they are wrong! BUT - don't let them destroy yourself.
I am not suggesting you to be selfish .. NO NO! But, keep everything in balance - and also remember to take care of yourself.
'coz if you happen to reach a point, like me, having no energy left! Drained! You will need to do some radical changes. To re-prioritize your schedule. Or maybe to erase some schedule from your agenda.

I am really thankful that God allowed me to experience all of these, because He knows me really well. If this girl (EYN) still has just a little energy, she won't stop! So, He took everything from me, even thing I do best (talking) - I just couldn't do it. All I did was crying and crying. I felt helpless. I felt like I didn't know myself. I was not being Erlyn.
I experienced what Bill Hybels himself experienced and shared on his book "Fit to be Tied" - emotional depletion.
He wanted me to rest, completely! He showed me and reminded me - one very important thing, that my value is not from what I do, but simply from who I am. Yes, I am His!

I am still recovering now, girls.
Told ya, it's a chronic fatigue. Need a lot of time.
During the recovery time,
I sleep. (I had had restless nights)
I talk to my close friends... I was honest about my conditions, and told them how I needed their care :$ (seriously, I rarely do this... :$)
I spend time on His words.
I read books. I read "Fit to be Tied" again (read it several times before) - the chapter about Emotional Depletion and Living in a Crisis Mode. Thank God for the insight, I experienced everything Bill and Lynn Hybels shared on the book.
I read "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World" by Joanna Weaver. Here's the excerpts

You know the story really well - Mary and Martha - to all Marthas in this world, it's a yay and privilege, God calls us to serve in the Kitchen. But, do remember, do first thing first. Take the responsibilities or any services, if they are really God wanted you to do. You don't have to do everything. He might want to use and bless others too to do the services (that you think "I have to do it!!!").

When you start to feel burdensome, ask yourself, "Is there anything I shouldn't do but I still keep doing 'coz I want to please others or it makes me feel good about myself or I think God will love me more doing it?" If it's a yes.. you better quit.
'coz Matthew 11, clearly said ... "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light"
Here's the thing, girls, God knows your capacity really well, He knows how much burden you can bear - so you still feel it light and easy. When it is no longer light and easy. Examine, whether it's really from Him. Or is it you, who added the burden (do things that it's not for you to do)?
He loves you, sweetheart, not for what you do - but for who you are.

And, yeah, that's what I've been doing, I've come to Him and He did give me rest :)
I take time to refuel my energy and refresh my soul. And take care of myself. :$
Though, to be honest with you, I can't wait to go back to my track and run fast...but No No... I want His track, His pace!
There is no way I can bless others if I run low (or empty). So, it's completely fine to rest. (haha..you would be surprised if I tell you that I sometimes feel guilty to rest..)
I learnt that it doesn't mean I am less productive when I slow down, it means that I prepare myself for a better one, the one God chooses me to do - not I, myself, choose to do.

So, what's next, eyn? I don't know!
What I do know, I want to follow His instructions. A step by step instruction.
And most importantly, aaah!
I know, when I don't know what to do, God always knows! It's more than enough :)
'coz sometimes, He just wants me to do nothing, but to enjoy Him and His blessings :D