Lies Women Believe

When I first decided to buy and ordered this book, I never knew I would need the book this much. This book is really another "how God truly meet what I need at the right time" experience.

I don't know what lies you've been believing, girls. Whether you still lives in lies or you have experienced the truth that set you free, this book is worth to read. To help you break the bondage, through the Word and His Spirit. And, to help others you know still struggle with their bondage.

God bless you, precious daughter of the King! -eyn-

by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

But for women, there is a disconnection between what they know intellectually and what they feel to be true. And therein lies one of our problems: We trust what we feel to be true, rather than what we know to be true.

The truth is, God does love us. Whether or not we feel loved, regardless of what we have done or where we have come from, He loves us with an infinite, incomprehensible love.

He loves me-because He is love. His love for me is not based on anything I have ever done or ever could do for Him. It is not based on my performance. I do not deserve His love and could never earn it.

The God of the Bible is a compassionaate, tender, merciful Father. That doesn't mean He gives us everything we want - no wise father would give his children everything they want. It doesn't mean we can always understand His decisions - He is far too great for that. It doesn't mean He never allows us to suffer pain - in fact, at times, He actually inflicts pain and hardship upon us. Why? Because He loves us. Because He cares about us. Because He is committed to us. Hebrews tells us, "God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness"

The problem is that our view of ourselves and our sense of worth are often determined by the input and opinions of others. Sometimes the input of others is accurate and helpful. But not always. If, for some reason, the person we are listening to is looking through a defective "lens", his or her vision will be distorted. Some of us have lived all our lives in an emotional prison because we have accepted what a false, "broken" mirror said to us about ourselves.

The deepest longings of our hearts cannot be filled by any created person or thing. Every created thing is guaranteed to disappoint us. Things can burn or break or be stolen or get lost. People can move or change or fail or die. I would always live in a state of disappointment if I was looking to people to satisfy me at the core of my being.

The truth is that all I have to do is the work God assigns to me. What a freedom it has been for me to accept that there is time for me to do everything that is on God’s “to do” list for my day, for my week, and for my life!

The frustration comes when I attempt to take on responsibilities that are not on His agenda for me. When I establish my own agenda or let others determine the priorities for my life, rather than taking time to discern what it is that God wants me to do, I end up buried under piles of half-finished, poorly done, or never-attempted projects and tasks. I live with guilt, frustration, and haste, rather than enjoying the peaceful, well-ordered life that He intends.

Frustration is the by-product of attempting to fulfill responsibilities God does not intend for us to carry. Freedom, joy, and fruitfulness come from seeking to determine God’s priorities for each season of life, and then setting out to fulfill those priorities, in the power of His Spirit, realizing that He has provided necessary time and ability to do everything that He has called us to do.

The truth is that marriage is good and right, that it is God’s plan for most people, and that there can (and ought to) be great joy and blessing in the context of a God-centered marriage. Satan twist the Truth about marriage by suggesting to women that the purpose of marriage is personal happiness and fulfillment, and that they cannot be truly happy without a husband to love them and meet their needs.

The truth is that the ultimate purpose of marriage is not to make us happy, but to glorify God.

The truth is that God has promised to give us everything we need, and if He knows a husband would make it possible for us to bring greater glory to Him, then He will provide a husband.

The truth is that those who insist on having their own way often end up with unnecessary heartache, while those who wait on the Lord always get His best.

Many Christian wives do not realize that they have two powerful “weapons” available to them that are far more effective than nagging, whining, or preaching. The first weapon is a godly life, which God often uses in a man’s life to create conviction and spiritual hunger. (1 Peter 3:1-4)

The second weapon is prayer. When a wife consistently points out the things she wishes her husband would change, she is likely to make him defensive and resistant. But when she takes her concerns to the Lord, she is appealing to a higher power to act in her husband’s life – and it’s a lot harder for a man to resist God than to resist a nagging wife!

Mary was a woman who knew how to keep things in her heart and ponder them. (Luke 2:19) She could afford to wait and be quite because she knew the power of God and trusted Him to fulfill His plans for her life and her family.

If we as women focus on what we “deserve”, on our “rights”, or on what men “ought” to do for us, we will become vulnerable to hurt and resentment when our expectations are not fulfilled. Blessing and joy are the fruit of seeking to be a giver rather than a taker and of looking for ways to bless, serve, and minister to the needs of our families.

I have discovered that the fundamental issue in the relation to submission really comes down to my willingness to trust God and to place myself under His authority. When I am willing to obey Him, I find it is not nearly so difficult or threatening to submit to the human authorities He has placed in my life.

God said that man needs a helper. The true woman celebrates this calling and becomes affirming rather than adversarial, compassionate rather than controlling, a partner rather than a protagonist. She becomes substantively rather than superficially submissive.

The true woman is not afraid to place herself in a position of submission. She does not have to grasp; she does not have to control. Her fear dissolves in the light of God’s covenant promise to be her God and to live within her. Submission is simply a demonstration of her confidence in the sovereign power of the Lord God. Submission is a reflection of her redemption.

I can’t help but wonder to what extent we women have demotivated and emasculated the men around us by our quickness to take the reins rather than waiting on the Lord to move men to action. We can so easily strip men of the motivation to rise to the challenge and provide the necessary leadership. To make matters worse, when they do take action, the women they look to for encouragement and affirmation correct them or tell them how they could have done it better.

What can free us from the drive to control the men in our lives? We must learnt to wait on the Lord; in His time, and in His way, He will act on behalf of those who wait for Him.

God uses the rough edges of each partner in a marriage to conform the other to the image of Christ. Your mate’s weaknesses can become a tool in God’s hand to make you into the women He created you to be.

Love is not a feeling; it is a commitment to act in the best interests of another.

Regardless of what emotions are whirling around inside, by God’s grace, we can choose to fix our minds on Him and to “trust and obey”. When we do, we will experience His peace and the grace to be faithful, even though our circumstances may not change.

We must choose, without any regard to the state of our emotions, what attitude our will will take toward God. We must recognize that our emotions are only the servants of our will. Our will can control our feelings if only we are steadfastly minded to do so. Many times when my feelings have declared contrary to the facts, I have changed those feelings entirely by a steadfast assertion of their opposite.

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee. Because he trusteth in thee. Isaiah 26:3

Certainly what happens in our bodies does affect us emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually. We cannot isolate these various dimensions of who we are – they are inseparably intertwined. But we fall into the trap of the enemy when we justify fleshly, sinful attitudes and responses based on our physical condition on hormonal changes.

But every monthly cycle is also a reminder that God made us women, and that which our womanhood comes the capacity for being a bearer and nurturer of life. Even as a single woman, I find this to be gracious and valuable reminder of who I am, why God created me, and how I can best glorify Him here on this earth.

Do not look forward to the changes and chances of this life in fear; rather look to them with full hope that, as they arise, God, whose you are, will deliver you out of them. He has kept you hither-to, - do you but hold fast to His dear hand, and He will lead you safely through all things; and, when you cannot stand, He will bear you in His arms… The same everlasting Father who cares for you today, will take care of you to-morrow, and every day. Either He will shield you from suffering, or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace then, and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations. –Francis de Sales-

Regardless of how we are feeling or what we are going through, our immediate response should be to turn to the Lord. Whether we are prospering or suffering, happy or sad, healthy or sick – before we do anything else, we should acknowledge God’s presence and ask Him to walk with us through the experience, to direct us in responding to the circumstances, and to provide His resources to deal with the situation.

When it comes to dealing with our emotions, we must remember that “feeling good” is not the ultimate objective in the Christian’s life. God does not promise that those who walk with Him will be free from all difficult emotions. In fact, as long as we are in these bodies, we will experience varying degrees of pain and distress. The real focus of our lives must not be changing or “fixing” things to make ourselves feel better but on the glory of God and His redemptive purpose in the world. Everything else in expendable. True joy comes from abandoning ourselves to that end.

God is far more interested in our holiness than in our immediate, temporal happiness – He knows that apart from being holy, we can never be truly happy.

True joy is not the absence of pain but the sanctifying, sustaining presence of the Lord Jesus in the midst of the pain.

His grace is sufficient to deal with the memories, wounds, and failures of the most scarred or sordid past.

The only way to experience true freedom and peace is to let go of the reins – to relinquish all control to God, believing that He can be trusted to manage all that concerns us.

Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World

by Joanna Weaver.
- a book for you who wants to live a balanced life. To please God with your intimacy with Him and bless people with your service. - eyn

Jesus is our supreme example. He was never in a hurry. He knew who he was and where he was going. He wasn’t held hostage to the world’s demands or even its desperated needs. “I only do what the Father tells me to do.”

Two completely different women undergo a transformaton right before our eyes; a holy makeover. The bold one becomes meek, the mild one courageous. For it is impossible to be in the presence of Jesus and not bechanged.

We can get caught in the same performance trap, feeling as though we must prove our love for God by doing great things for him.

The Kingdom of God, you see, is a paradox. While the world applauds achievement, God desires companionship. The world clamors, “Do more! Be all that you can be!” But our Father whispers, “Be still and know that I am God.”

When we first spend time in his presence – when we take time to hear his voice – God provides the horsepower we need to pull the heaviest load. He saddles up Grace and invites us to take a ride.

The only thing that came out between sobs was a broken plea, “Tell me the good news........... I honestly can’t remember.... “ perhaps you have felt the same way. You’ve known the Lord your whole life and yet you haven’t found the peace and fulfillment you’ve always longed for.

Matthew 11:28-29

While Martha may have been the first person to ask Jesus the question, “Lord, dont you care?” she definitely wasn’t the last. We’ve all felt the loneliness, the frustration, the left-out-ness and resentment she experienced in the kitchen that Bethany afternoon – doing all that work for others when no one seems to notice and no one seems to care.

That’s what i want when i’m feeling overwhelmed: soft, soothing words and plenty of helpful action.

“What you are doing is not good. You will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone.” Exodus 18:17-18

“But even pure ministry for Jesus can become a weight we drag around....it’s called the ‘treadmill’ anointing’, and it isn’t from God”. –Dutch Sheets-

It’s easy to find a shady spot and feel sorry for ourselves when we’re distracted and discouraged. Especially when we run up against unexpected opposition. Especially when it feels like we’re running for our lives.

When we’re distracted and discouraged, tired and overwhelmed, there is no better place to go than to our Father. He alone has what we need. As you do, you’ll find healing for your hurting heart.

Five strategies for fighting discouragement.
1.Allow for rest stops
2.Get a new point of view
3.Have patience
4.Mingle
5.Set the timer

What is it about us women that creates such a desperate need in us to always “know”, to always “understand”? We want an itinerary for our life, and when God doesn’t immediately produce one, we set out to write our own.

I love the compassion of Jesus in this story. He saw Martha’s situation. He
understood her complaint. But he loved her too much to give her what she wanted. Instead, Jesus gave her what she needed – an invitation to draw cloes to him. With open arms, he invited the troubled woman to leave her worries and cares and find refuge in him alone.

Because when you have questions, there is no better place to go than to the One who has the answers.

“Worry is allowing problems and distress to come between us and the heart of God. It is the view that God has somehow lost control of the situation and we cannot trust Him. A legitimate concern presses us closer to the heart of God and causes us to lean and trust on Him all the more.” – Gary E Gilley –

“Any concern too small to be turned intro a prayer is too small to be made into a burden.” –Corrie Ten Boom-

Eyn, eyn ..do not let your heart be trouble. Trust in God. Trust also in Me. John 14:1

Now, this is what the Lord Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways.” Haggai 1:5

I realized then that, while there are many things that need to be done, things i’m capable of doing and want to do, i am not always the one to do them. Even if i have a burden for a certain need or project, my interest or concern is not a surefire design that i need to be in charge. God may only be calling me to pray that the right person will rise up to accomplish it. What’s more, i may be stealing someone else’s blessing when i assume i must do it all.

Make no mistake. Satan enjoys using our hectic schedules, stressed bodies, and emotional upsets in his efforts to put up barriers to our intimacy with God. That’s why we need to take a close look at any thought, feeling, or activity that diminishes our appetite for intimacy with God.

If you’re having a little trouble feeling close to God – or even wanting to draw close – you might want to consider what activities you are using to fill the empty places of your life. What’s taking the edge off your hunger for him?

Service without spirituality is exhausting and hopeless. But in the same respect, spirituality without service is barren and selfish. We need to unite the two and do it all "as unto the Lord".

When we do that, something wonderful happens to our work in the Kitchen. Sinks turn into sanctuaries. Mops swab holy ground. And daily chores that used to bore us or wore us down become opportunities to express our gratitude - selfless avenues for his grace.

Our sanctification, does not depend upon changing our works, but in doing that for God's sake which we commonly do for our own.

Jesus seems to do nothing of Himself which He can possibly delegate to His creatures. He commands us to do slowly and blunderingly what He could do perfectly and in the twinkling of an eye." - cs lewis -

Instead of expecting God to acquiesce to our plans, dreams, schemes - or frantically trying to impress him with our efforts on his behalf - we simply need to "watch to see where God is working and join Him"

Duty gets offended quickly if it isn't appreciated, but love learns to laugh a lot and to work for sheer joy of doing it.

"True love hurts. It always has to hurt. If you really love one another, you will not be able to avoid making sacrifies." Mother Teresa

Everyone starts at the same place - at the most humble point of service. But when you're truly a servant, a job title and a position are completely secondary. You're willing to do whatever needs to be done.

Working from out God-given gifts releases ministry potential in greater measure and helps the various members of the body work harminiously.

Rather than picking and choosing ministry opportunities based solely on our talents and interests. We are directed 'always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord'. -jack hoey

When we surrender ourselves ourselves to be used by God, we don't always get to pick the time, the method, or the place of ministry. In fact, sometimes, we may find ourselves doing nothing at all - except praying and waiting for God's leading.

A true passion for God will naturally reesult in compassion for people. We can't love the Father without also being willing to love his kids - even when they're less than lovable.

Checking your motives - Jan Johnson
1. Am I serving to impress anyone?
2. Am I serving to receive external rewards?
3. Is my service affected by moods and whims (my own as well as others)?
4. Am I using this service to feel good about myself?
5. Am I using my service to muffle God's voice demanding I change?

Because if our Kitchen Service doesn't point people to Jesus, we risk becoming surrogate messiahs. If we, not God, end up being their source of hope, we are setting them up for profound dissapointment and ourselves for profound burnout - because we, in ourselves, are simply not up to the task of saving the world. In ourselves, like peter and john at the gate called Beautiful, we have nothing to offer. But in Christ, we are given the power to give people what they most desperately need.

I want my relationship with God to be so real and vital, so like that of the apostles Peter and John, that people can't help but sit up and take notice.

All the things I'd been trying to accomplish were important, but I had lost my center. Busy being busy, I'd forgotten to tend to my inner self, the spiritual me. Like a wheel without an axle, I'd careened through life, bouncing off one duty and onto another.

Life is filled with Hula-Hoops. We all have responsibilites, important things that need our attention. If we're not careful, however, our hearts and our minds can be consumed with the task of keeping them in the air. Rather than centering ourselves in Christ and letting the other elements of our lives take their rightful place around the center, we end up shifting our attention from one important to-do item to another, to frantically trying to keep them all in motion.

It's easy to forget that while there is a time to work, there is also a time to worship -- and it's the worship, the time we spend with God, that provides the serene center to a busy, complex life.

We will all have trials. The question is not when the pressure will come, but where the pressure will lie. Will it come between us and the Lord? Or will it press us closer to His breast? - hudson taylor

Life works better when we know how to glance at things but gaze at God. Seeing Him clearly will enable us to see all other things clearly. - selwyn hughes

It is so easy to lose focus in life, to lose our center. Life conspires to drag eyes away from the face of the Savior, hypnotizing us with the unending swat of our problems.

First things first, the Lord was saying. Take care of my business, and I'll take care of yours. Make room in your heart of me, and I'll make room for everything else.

The very definition of sin is separation from God. So no matter how important the activity, no matter how good it seems, if I use it as an excuse to hold God at arm's length, it is sin.

Sometimes we have to slow down in order to take spiritual inventory and see where we stand with God. Sometimes we have to realize how empty we are before we're willing to be filled.

My personal times of devotion were erratic at best. My prayer life was quirky, my reading of the word was sporadic. And because I was not spending regular quite time with God, I was not putting myself in a position to be filled and refilled.

I didn't have to wait until I felt spiritual to spend time with God. I just had to make a decision of the will, and the spiriutal feelings would eventually come around.
On those crazy loopy days when I don't feel so "hoopy", I'm learning to reach for the Lord instead of chocolate chip sedatives. I'm learning how to leave the kitchen and head for the living room where Jesus waits, because that's where I'll find everything I need and everything I want. What I really need is more and more of the Master himself

Faith is about how you live your life in the meantime, how you make decisions when you dont know for sure what’s next. What you do with yourself between the last time you heard from God and the next time you hear from God is the ongoing challenge of a life of faith. –CeCe Winans – On a Positive Note.

There are times in every life when God writes the end to a chapter, when he asks us to say good-bye to something or someone who has been important to us. It might be a spouse, a parent, or friend. It might be a job we’ve loved, a city we’ve enjoyed, a prejudice or an assumption that we’ve always thought wes true.

Endings, in a sense, are inevitable. Dead ends, failed possibilities, and brick walls will dissapoint us all. And when toses endings come, we can fight them as Peter adivsed Jesus. Or we can accept them as Jesus did, as coming from the Father’s hand.

Let go one piece at a time. Sometimes we cling to control because we fear we’ll be asked to make drastic changes we’re not ready for. But God, in his kindness, takes us at a pace we can handle. If we simply obey what he asks of us at the moment, he’ll lead us the next step when we’re ready.

Martha thought she had value because she was productive. Jesus wanted her to learn she had value simply because she was his.

And being teachable, in essence, involves three things:
-Being willing to listen
-Acting on what we hear
-Responding to discipline

Obedience is an essential ingredient in intimacy with God and the key to having a Mary heart. Either we take Jesus’ words to heart and change, or we listen but disregard them. And to disregard the voice of God is worse than not listening at all. Especially if we say we love him.

All God’s revelations are sealed until they are opened to us by obedience. Obey God in the thing He shows you, and instantly the next thing is opened up.. God will never reveal more truth about himsefl until you have obeyed what you know already. –Oswald Chambers

Our loving Father will do whatever it takes to break that rebellion before that rebellion breaks us. Eve it means giving us a time-out (like having to wait for something we’ve wanted), taking away our toys (like the new computer that just crashed), or allowing some affliction to come our way.

If we find ourselves becoming critical of other people, we should stop examining them, and start ecamining ourselves. -
William Barclay

At the same time, it's important to remember that saying yes to God doesn't mean saying yes to everything! When our lives are overbooked, it's easy for us to become spiritually dry and undernourished. We can barely hear God's voice above the busy noise, let alone say yes to what he is asking. In this case, we do need to learn how to say no, but only so we are able to say yes to God when he wants to give us an assignment.

It's a great release to know that the secret to 'doing it all' is not necessarily 'doing it all' but rather discovering which part of the 'all' he has given us to do and doing all of that. -Jill Briscoe

It's increasingly hard to resist the temptation to use the Sabbath as a catch-up day instead of a day of worship and rest.

How does she keep a balance? I asked her not long ago. "It takes a ruthless commitment to first thing first. I am constantly having to ask the Lord to do the Psalm 139 thing on me: "Live in my heart. Search and examine me. Know my heart."

"Take my struggles and use them for your glory. Change me. Give me a Mary heart in my Martha world."
And with those words would come a quiteness, an awareness that the Lord was working. I began to realize that if I was yoked to Christ, then I could trust him to set the pace. He knew what I needed and what had to be done. I could trust him to accomplish what he'd started. My part was sto partner with him. So I'd get up from prayer and go back working and waiting some more.

I fear our generation has come dangerously near the "I'm - getting - tired - so - let's - just - quit" mentality. And not just in the spiritual realm. Dieting is a discipline, so we stay fat. Finishing school is a hassle, so we bail out. Cultivating a close relationship is painful, so we back off. Getting a book written is demanding, so we stop short. Working through conflict in a marriage is a tiring struggle, so we walk away. Stricking with an occupation is tough, so we start looking elsewhere..
And about the time we are ready to give it up, along comes the Master, who leans over and whispers: "Now keep going; don't quit. Keep on"

When it comes to our spiritual lives, a lot of us are all-or-nothing people. If we aren't automatically perfect, we just give up. When Christlike virtues like patience and kindness seem hard to come by, we abandon our character development and decide holiness is for those better equipped. But when we give up, we're giving up on our part of the partnership. Perseverance is one of our responsibilities in this process of being changed.

When we surrender our lives to Jesus Christ, we release the Lord of the process to do his work. For it is in our weakness that Christ is strong. It is in our inadequacy that we find him more than sufficient. And it is in our willingness to be broken that he brings wholeness - more wholeness and completeness than we ever dreamed possible.

O Christ, do not give me tasks equal to my powers,
But give me powers equal to my tasks,
For I want to be streched by things too great for me,
I want to grow through the greatness of my tasks,
But I shall need your help for the growing.
E. Stanley Jone

Find Rest My Soul

Hello, girls :)

I know it's been forever I haven't updated the next chapter of our Preparing to be a Help Meet's journey. Nor any writings about anything :$
If you are expecting this post would be it... I am so sorry, that I will disappoint you.

The last 3 weeks , I've been running on empty. I had driven my car (my own life) until it was out of gas. I had no energy left. I was extremely tired, physically and emotionally. I used to be "a friend you can always talk to" for I always had answers. But, these last weeks, girls, I even couldn't give any suggestion for every simple questions asked to me. My only answer during these weeks was "I will pray for you" - and I know, I know, that's the best thing I can do. 'coz God surely takes care of everything.

If you are like me, tend to do more, serve more. Take care of others (means EVERYONE), not yourself. Push beyond limit. Take any responsibilities (whatever) ... beware, girls!
I am not saying that they are wrong! BUT - don't let them destroy yourself.
I am not suggesting you to be selfish .. NO NO! But, keep everything in balance - and also remember to take care of yourself.
'coz if you happen to reach a point, like me, having no energy left! Drained! You will need to do some radical changes. To re-prioritize your schedule. Or maybe to erase some schedule from your agenda.

I am really thankful that God allowed me to experience all of these, because He knows me really well. If this girl (EYN) still has just a little energy, she won't stop! So, He took everything from me, even thing I do best (talking) - I just couldn't do it. All I did was crying and crying. I felt helpless. I felt like I didn't know myself. I was not being Erlyn.
I experienced what Bill Hybels himself experienced and shared on his book "Fit to be Tied" - emotional depletion.
He wanted me to rest, completely! He showed me and reminded me - one very important thing, that my value is not from what I do, but simply from who I am. Yes, I am His!

I am still recovering now, girls.
Told ya, it's a chronic fatigue. Need a lot of time.
During the recovery time,
I sleep. (I had had restless nights)
I talk to my close friends... I was honest about my conditions, and told them how I needed their care :$ (seriously, I rarely do this... :$)
I spend time on His words.
I read books. I read "Fit to be Tied" again (read it several times before) - the chapter about Emotional Depletion and Living in a Crisis Mode. Thank God for the insight, I experienced everything Bill and Lynn Hybels shared on the book.
I read "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World" by Joanna Weaver. Here's the excerpts

You know the story really well - Mary and Martha - to all Marthas in this world, it's a yay and privilege, God calls us to serve in the Kitchen. But, do remember, do first thing first. Take the responsibilities or any services, if they are really God wanted you to do. You don't have to do everything. He might want to use and bless others too to do the services (that you think "I have to do it!!!").

When you start to feel burdensome, ask yourself, "Is there anything I shouldn't do but I still keep doing 'coz I want to please others or it makes me feel good about myself or I think God will love me more doing it?" If it's a yes.. you better quit.
'coz Matthew 11, clearly said ... "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light"
Here's the thing, girls, God knows your capacity really well, He knows how much burden you can bear - so you still feel it light and easy. When it is no longer light and easy. Examine, whether it's really from Him. Or is it you, who added the burden (do things that it's not for you to do)?
He loves you, sweetheart, not for what you do - but for who you are.

And, yeah, that's what I've been doing, I've come to Him and He did give me rest :)
I take time to refuel my energy and refresh my soul. And take care of myself. :$
Though, to be honest with you, I can't wait to go back to my track and run fast...but No No... I want His track, His pace!
There is no way I can bless others if I run low (or empty). So, it's completely fine to rest. (haha..you would be surprised if I tell you that I sometimes feel guilty to rest..)
I learnt that it doesn't mean I am less productive when I slow down, it means that I prepare myself for a better one, the one God chooses me to do - not I, myself, choose to do.

So, what's next, eyn? I don't know!
What I do know, I want to follow His instructions. A step by step instruction.
And most importantly, aaah!
I know, when I don't know what to do, God always knows! It's more than enough :)
'coz sometimes, He just wants me to do nothing, but to enjoy Him and His blessings :D

What Are We?

So, here we are... Three Types of Women!!!! hihi-- semau2nya kita mengenal 3 tipe cowok, kita pasti lebih penasaran, kita tipe yg mana.
Sorry karena it took a while for writing it karena aku terkapar di ranjang this week :( and I just couldn't wait to segera sembuh tuk melanjutkan our journey Preparing to be a Help Meet!

Sebelum tau tipe kita apa, let's see -- "dari apakah" kita diciptakan?
Genesis 2:23 ...and Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

She was made from him and for him. Every woman was created to fulfill a need in the man. He needed a helper who could meet his needs. So - a help meet, that is, a helper suited (meet) to his needs. Her body, soul, mind, and emotions were created to be a blessing and help to man!

Sebenarnya dari sini, kita bisa menyadari satu hal. Mungkin pernah terlintas pemikiran -- "ah, berakirlah hidup kita, karena kita "cuma" jadi penolong buat pria." Tapi dari awal penciptaan, jelas banget dengan menjadi penolong bagi our man..kita actually menjalani fungsi kita! Dan menjalani alasan utama, mengapa kita diciptakan! Isn't it beautiful?

In this book, Debi Pearl mentioned that we, girls, too have 3 types! Yang pada dasarnya ..mirip2 sama cowo, yaitu:
Prophet Type - Visionary Man = Dreamer Gal
Priest Type - Steady Man = Servant Girl
Kingly Type - Command Man = Go-to Gal

Since you have already understood dan mengenal dgn baik ke-3 cowo ini, pasti kita dah punya gambaran sedikit ttg tipe 3 cewe ini juga. Let me share just a bit..
Karena, again, as I shared on my previous writing -- we, women, are called to adapt :) So, it's really good to know ourselves well..tapi ingat, bukan supaya kita semakin "menjadi2" -> you know what I mean, tapi supaya kita semakin maksimal melayani our man, to be his help meet.

AND...though, ada similarity, remember, man was created in God's image and we in man's image, so we are one step removed from the original. (So, horeeeee :D kita tidak ekstrim!!!)
Ooh! I am really thankful about this fact, coz what? It means that we are easier to adapt. Kita ga extreme..No No! Do u see here? Tuhan ga mungkin kasi kita perintah/fungsi (dalam hal ini tuk beradaptasi), tanpa diperlengkapi. Jadi, jangan pernah berpikir - adalah MUSTAHIL tuk beradaptasi. Karena kita diciptakan untuk itu, dan Tuhan tahu apa yang kita butuhkan tuk beradaptasi, and He has already provided! Our part, just to trust and obey!

Okay, let's start with ...

Dreamer!
Gampang bgt knowing whether you are a dreamer or not. Do you like to create, sew, design, paint or write? If you are a dreamer, then you need to keep your head out of the clouds while dancing your way into your vision of the future.
Remember this, don't get involved in projects that take you away from your responsibility to honor your husband. Spend your youth honing down your gifts and developing skills.
Someday, if you honor your man, your gifts will greatly benefit your marriage.
Di buku ini, ga di-share Biblical woman yang positif, unfortunately, only the negative, but we can still learn from her. Delilah! She was a dreamer. Penuh ide dan kreativitas, rite? So, berhati2lah para dreamers, use your creativities not to manipulate your man. I understand how our words, our acts, our cries can make us to get what we want from our man. But, please don't! We aren't Delilahs! We don't want our Samson lost his strength. We want our man to fulfill his calling with our 100% supports and our positive creativity.

Servant Girl!
Nah, ini tipe2 yang sangat dicintai lelaki manapun. Mirip2 steady man yang disukai semua orang. Sama seperti namanya, wanita ini senang melayani.
She is a peacemaker, kind and considerate.
Ada 1 point yg sangat bagus di buku ini...
Always keep in mind that it is good to be an Encourager, but not good to be an Enabler. An Encourager helps people better themselves. An Enabler does things for people that they should be doing for themselves, healing their self-inflicted wounds and sympathizing with their poor vices to the point that they are enabled to continue their negative behavior without facing the consequences or assuming responsibility to change.
Hati2 wahai kita para wanita berhati lembut (ciieeh!), it's really good to encourage (God calls us for that!), but remember, sometimes ada bagian yang bukan bagian kita, sometimes people need to take their own responsibilities juga. It's good to have a sympathy, but people need to learn juga kalo ada konsekuensi. If you are a truly servant girl, you really understand what I mean :) Remember, girls, we can't do everything, there are parts that just not ours.
Ruth is one good example. She was faithful serving her mother in law.

Go-to Gal!
She is strong, capable, and gives a sense of taking care of the greater number of people. Go-to gal ooozes with confidence, has strong opinions, and does well orgainzing people.
Deborah is one example!
I think it's pretty clear about this type, rite? And, para Go-to Gal, we also understand, how we put ourselves in the place we belong. To be submissive, I know it's not easy, but it's God's will and our calling.

I love this statemet Debi Pearl wrote:
The key is to recognize your natural type, not so you can take the lead, but so you can understand how it might weaken or aid your service to your first-in-command- your husband. (Ephesians 5:22-24)

I do wish you can read the book by yourself, especially this chapter..haha,
'coz this chapter explains much:
Why God put man in charge?
Man's nature - female's nature.
Who we are as the helpers.
How to create balance.
I feel like writing everything on this chapter..haha..but I will try my best to share you the points :)

Alright, tidak bisa dipungkiri..bahwa some women just have stronger personalities, punya leadership skills, smarter than the men! Tapi, mengapa dan mengapa tetep cowo-lah harus memimpin?!
Hal sangat mendasar yang sering kali suka kita ributkan kalo lagi berantem, padahal inilah alasan utama mengapa man is the leader, not us:
Man - logical. Woman - emotional.

God in His wisdom created the male with an innate caution and natural skepticism rooted in his cold logic and unemotional responses. Tuk singkatnya, para pria ini susah percaya kalo ga yakin itu adalah fakta. God created man with extreme resisance, reluctance, stubborness, and a skeptical mind.

God designed the woman to be sensitive and vulnerable for the sake of the little ones whom she must nurture. The soul of a mother must be quick to feel, to hurt, to love, to have compassion, to take in broken, and to believe the best. Vulnerability is both a woman's greatest natural asset and the point of her greatest weakness. Our very nature makes us susceptible to being tricked. We were created to be protected by our men while we nurture the family and maintain a connection with the emotional side of God.

So, we understand now kenapa si ular menggoda hawa di taman eden sana? Akan sangat susah convince si adam, for the reasons mentioned above. But hawa, maybe, pertama langsung pikir.. ular itu cute dan sudah terlena.

God gave man the kind of nature that would be suitable to hold the superior office in the chain of command. A wife's position under her husband is where God put her for her own spiritual, emotional, and physical safety. It is the only position where a wife will find real fulfillment as a woman.

I know, for you who keep reading my posts tidak akan berdebat panjang mengenai kenyataan we are to submit to our man. Since, I believe we all here sudah mengerti role kita, and I do hope that we all accept that with JOY.
Actually, this chapter belum kelar. It could be very long, so I will continue later :)

But, let me close dengan satu cerita yang aku alami sendiri, and sangat related with logical man and emotional woman - and why God put man as the leader, for this reason!
I am naturally a Go-to Gal (pada tempatnya..dan pada saat dibutuhkan, let's say I lead people naturally :$) Though, I was very2 happy, when my boyfriend said that I am more a Servant-Gal..(haha..!!), and I am a dreamer too, a little bit!
Pas jaman kuliah, aku bersahabat dengan 1 cewe (sebut aja - Ai) yang naturally a Go-to Gal too, intinya we both are leaders in our group! Dan kami b2, bersahabat dengan 1 cowo (sebut aja - Ken) yang super santeeeeeeee, yg ikut kemanapun kami pergi (oh, we love him!), namun this guy selalu jadi laki2 di saat kami jadi cewe banget!
Dan ada 1 contoh yg sangat2 membuktikan ke-cowo-an dia dan ke-cewe-an kami!

It was winter in Japan, aku dan Ai ini nginep di rumah Ken (yg juga share house with our friends). Aku dan Ai tidur di kamar Ken. Ken tidur di luar, di sofa. (haha, baru sadar, kesian si Ken, lagi winter harus tidur di luar!) Pas winter, selalu pake heater. Yang modelnya begini...

The next morning, I had to wake up early karena I had work that day. Ai - Ken masi bobo pules begitu juga his housemates! Do u know it's really torturing to wake up on winter..karena dingin banget dan malesss banget, udah mana, aku harus kerja!! Ga sukaaaaaaaa >.< dan temen2ku masi bobo, ga relaaaaaaaaaa >.<
Nah, celana panjangku tuh super dingin..dan udah mau nangis rasanya pake celana panjang dingin. Dan si bodoh aku, taroh celana di atas heater - pikir cuma bentar banget, supaya anget dikit.
Pergilah aku ke kamar mandi, sikat gigi bentar .. then, "Oh, ketinggalan sesuatu" dan kembali lah ke kamar! Saat masuk kamar..kalian tau apa yg terjadi, saudara2...
kamar sudah berasap .... dan kebakaraan!! Sudah sampai ceiling! (Rumah di Jepang, plafon-nya rendah, jadi wajar kalo dah sampai ceiling!)
The heater pas di kaki Ai, dan Ai masi tidur pulas! Dan aku teriak "AAAAAAAIIIII -- AIIIIIIII kebakaran!" We both teriak2 ga jelas! Teriak - teriak dan teriak!
Ai lebih pinter dari aku, dan dia bangunin Ken! Dan Ken tanpa keluar kata satupun, dia ke dapur (aku ga tau dia pake apa, karena aku dan Ai masi panik) and matiin api-nya! And, that's it, DONE!

Aku super malu tuk cerita ini, teman2, karena aku menyadari bodoh-nya aku for putting bahan kain di atas heater - walaupun terlindung, tapi api bisa terpercik >.<
(dan aku tau, kalian ga mungkin sebodoh aku >.<) Tapi kenapa aku mau cerita ini...karena it's one example, Tuhan really2 created man and woman in certain ways and certain positions.
It is really true, secara natural, aku dan Ai adalah pemimpin. We say something, people listen. We have strong opinions. People respect us, dst.
And Ken, naturally, he is a follower, for he enjoys his life so much.
Namun, secara natural dan yang paling mendasar! I am only a woman. And Ken is a man!
A man with an instict and logic to lead!
And me, a woman with emotion to follow!
In our marriage kelak...akan banyak terjadi "kebakaran" (amit2, maksudnya...problems or decisions to make), and God has pointed our man to lead! I know - I know, you are leaders dalam Komisi Wanita, atau Presiden di perusahan..or apapun itu!
Tapi, dalam family, dalam hubunganmu dengan suamimu, he is the leader.

Elisabeth Elliot dalam Let Me Be a Woman, wrote this:
It was God who made us different, and He did it on purpose. Recent scientific research is illuminating, and as has happened before, corroborates ancient truth which mankind has always recognized. God created male and female, the male to call forth, to lead, initiate and rule, and the female to respond, follow, adapt, submit. Even if we held to a different theory of origin, the physical structure of the female would tell us that woman was made to receive, to bear, to be acted upon, to complement, to nourish.
You are fully a woman, which means you have privileges.
You are only a woman, which means you have limitations.
Accept that :)

So, I shared a bit about Three Types of Women, and you (perhaps) have got an idea of who you are. It is good - means that we are now to develop our gifts and skills even better, whether we are a Dreamer, Servant Girl, or Go-to Gal. But we know, we develop them, so we can use our gifts, talents and our type in this honored place of SECOND in command. For we're created from and for men.

Speak The GOOD Words

Yesterday, one girl shared how proud she is of her brother.

"Ci, aku bangga banget loh sama koko'ku sekarang - dia udah banyak berubah - ga seperti dulu. Cici tau banget kan dulu sifatnya gmana......"

And dia jelasin lebih detail ttg betapa hebat koko-nya.

One question I asked her, "Have you told him about this?"

"......hmmm...aku ada pernah cerita ke mama sih!"

Me = "ke koko-mu?"

"..... hmmm belum ci..."

--------------------

Beberapa minggu belakangan ini, ayat ini berulang kali berbicara padaku ....
"Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry." James 1:19


Yes...how easy it is to speak when things go wrong - when we don't like stuffs - when we are mad ....

Tapi, somehow ---- it is that hard to speak when you appreciate someone, to say "I think you are great....", "what you did means a lot to me"..."I care about you"

One woman I admire bercerita that she always reminds her kids, "Nak, semarah apapun kamu -- jaga selalu omonganmu -- jangan pernah bicara pada saat kamu sedang marah -- karena akan ada bekasnya."
That's what I kept telling myself ketika aku lagi kesel - or rasanya mau marah, "When I am hurt - never say hurtful words - coz it will hurt me even more to hurt someone I truly care."
And, it is really true, I don't know about you, but for me -- aku selalu berjuang not to say the "I will regret later" words..

Ironically...why why.... it's just sooo hard to speak good words?! ......
Entah itu gengsi, entah itu budaya (oh, please, stop blaming budaya timur), entah malu......
But, do we know how good words will actually bring impact into someone's life?
--- sama seperti perkataan buruk bisa membawa bekas, I believe perkataan baik pun juga ---

I've been really tired these days. I didn't plan to do anything today -- apalagi tulis notes.. I was laying on my bed, trying to sleep but I just couldn't... 'til I got message from my sister:
"Ci, aku perhatiin cici akir2 ini lagi lemes -- cici lagi ada masalah yah? -- aku kuatir banget loh sama cici! *hugz*"

And she is the reason why I am writing now! Yups, aku tetep aja cape -- karena I do need to rest. But I realized one thing, how great it is to know, to be TOLD and REMINDED that there is someone cares about me. Aku selalu tau betapa dedeku sayang sama aku, tapi the sweet words at the right time, aaaahhh.....sungguh menyegarkan jiwaku

SO, SPEAK THE GOOD WORDS!

"Tapi gue ga biasa ngomong begitu2 lyn!!!!"
I know, butuh practice, sama seperti that girl I mentioned above..mungkin akan sangat susaaaaah tuk bilang ke koko-nya pada awalnya ...but practice makes perfect :)
Percaya ga? Dulu, aku ga pernah bisa bilang "thank you" "maaf" "I love you" ke mama... (serius lyn?) Iyah! Maluuuuu banget, en berasaaaaa aneh luar biasa! And I did a lot of practices! Pertama kali-nya aku ngomong tuh yg deg2an setengah mati ... itupun di telepon, dan langsung matiin telepon saat selesai ngomong. (Can you imagine the scene?)

Practice and practice it! It's a good exercise!

Bukan berarti, karena kita terbiasa, then jadi hambar or istilahnya basa basi loh!
Always mean what you say! If you don't, don't say it, people don't need that! But if you do, say it, people need that!
Rasul Paulus bilang..hendaklah kata2mu senantiasa penuh KASIH - JANGAN HAMBAR...


Dear friends, since I didn't plan to write anything today, and I do really need to rest -- I will stop here..! I think you got what I am trying to say :)
Practice to appreciate what people do to you - and TELL them that you appreciate it.
If you do love someone and care about her, tell her! (yeah yeah -- she knows already, I KNOW..) TELL HER!
"You can do it" - "I believe in you" will cost you nothing. But those words definitely could lift someone up. And you won't know how deep the impact could be!
"Thank you", please! Sincerely!

The list could go on...but I think you know already what to say...rite?
Now, do it!!!!
Speak the GOOD words :)

"Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them." Ephesians 4:29

Just a'lil bit of Kyoto

It's Sunday evening, weekend is almost over..haha! So, let's talk about something relaxing.
Aku sering banget dapat pertanyaan "kalo ke Jepang enaknya kemana?"
Of course, for me personally, I love Beppu the most -- haha..tapi kalo aku suggest ke orang, KYOTO is a "you better visit" city in Japan! Since it's so Japan!
(Btw, I love Kyoto - after Beppu - Osaka - Kobe, tho! haha!)
But, today is about Kyoto! and there are 3 things, I always WOOOWWW about Kyoto and would love to experience them again!

1. Kyoto station area

I love the building of Kyoto Station (much cooler than Tokyo Station)....
I don't remember how many times I've been here.. hmm more than 6 times sepertinya, and tiap kali selalu masi Wooowww aja ama the building. *so, tidak benar kalo dibilang aku tukang bosen! hahaha.. I am very loyal! Try me! :D



and ini foto dalam-nya:


Nah, pas di seberang Kyoto Eki (station in Japanese) -- itu ada Kyoto Tower. Hmm, aku pernah naek sekali, menurutku biasa2 aja sih, ga secantik Tokyo Tower. Kalau mau liat Kyoto secara keseluruhan, lebih baik ke Kiyomizu Tera (Temple) aja.. tar ada foto-nya di bawah :)
Ini Kyoto Tower, yang putih merah itu:


Terus yang sangat unik dan I love so much about Kyoto adalah ... KOTAK POS-nya warna COKLAT! hihi, kalo di Doraemon kan warna merah, begitu juga di kota2 laen di jepang. (pasti bingung kan kenapa aku bisa suka sama beginian doank?)
Pertama, karena aku emang orangnya gampang hepi .. haha! For me, unik aja :D I always love something yang spesial, yang ada reason - I appreciate small things :$
And kedua, karena alasannya adalah buat tetep jaga Kyoto sebagai kota yg Jepang banget! Bahkan McD-nya juga bukan warna merah tulisannya, tapi coklat!


Central Post Office ada di dekat Kyoto Station juga:


2. Kiyomizu Temple

Sebenernya kan tuh, Kyoto emang banyak bener kuil2 kan.
Termasuk yg cukup keren itu adalah Kinkakuji (Golden Temple):



Tapi for me, aku selalu suka Kiyomizu Tera, jadi kalo disuruh pilih 1 temple aja untuk aku pergi, I would choose Kiyomizu Tera :D
Selain karena sepanjang jalan menuju temple itu penuh ama toko2 (padahal ga belanja juga..hepi ajaaaaaaaa....inget, aku gampang hepi, haha!)


Dan terutama, aku selalu suka 1 spot ini tuk foto (the one I told you earlier, bisa memandang Kyoto jauuuuuh ke depan, keliatan kan ada Kyoto Tower-nya disana?):


Here's my 2nd fave spot (memandang toko jauuuuh ke depan):



3. I smell MACHA everywhere <3 <3 <3

I love Macha - Japanese Green Tea like soooo much! Es krim favorite ku has been always Green Tea :) and in Kyoto, it's everywhere. So' it's like you breathe it (lebay!)




So, if you ever want to visit Japan dan mau ajak aku (haha!!) Aku tidak akan pernah bosan ke Kyoto lagi for these reasons ;)