Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Preparing to be a Help Meet

I really suggest all single ladies to read this Debi Pearl's book.
Rather than consuming our time to wait idly for our Prince Charmings to come along, let's redeem our time to be prepared.
Reading this book is one way to prepare ourselves :)
'coz it will show you more practical ways how to use your single time and be a Princess yourself.

So, here's my "marked with red ink" part of the book that I typed with my super slow typing speed to you.
Just to share a tiny blessing I got from the book, and hopefully you want to read it yourself and got more blessings, as I did.

Be blessed, girls :)

<3 You spend your time pining away for your one true love and suddenly.. you're married, and it is a lot more than you bargained for. Now is the hour you should be preparing to be a wife - to be a help meet. God wants to make you become a lovely help meet, but to be a good one takes effort... lots of effort <3

<3 Is there a young man that you have met in passing that you thought would be a good husband? Have you been praying for him by name? Pray that he will be strong. Pray that he will walk faithfully.

<3 Her face constantly reflected joy and active interest in life and ministry. This is very appealing in a female.

<3 I always disregarded any girl I ever saw flirting or hanging onto a guy's arm.

<3 Let's look at how she approached knowing God's will:
- She was busy walking with God and praying for wisdom through her youth.
- She didn't chase him down.
- She sought out her parents and another older counselor for support and prayer.
- She prayed and fasted, asking God for wisdom and direction.
- She was open to considering him because he had proved himself righteous.

There are 3 types of men mentioned in this book :
Prophet (Mr. Visionary), Priest (Mr. Steady Man) and King (Mr. Command Man),
that you really want to read it yourself ;)
(actually I had typed what I red-lined on the book, but my Priest pages have much more red ink than other pages :$ :$, so I decided to just share a much better (more balance and objective..haha) excerpt. Enjoy the reading!!)

Being a really good help meet requires:
1. a heart to do God's will
2. a basic understanding of God's requirements as revealed in his Word.
3. wisdom.

<3 Keep in mind that your mother is not the enemy. She is Mom. She is the one who cared for you when you were sick; she is the one who believed in you when you were down. She is the one who would have given her very life for you if you were in need, but, because she is Mom, she will be the first to speak out when she thinks you might be hurting. Treasure her for the wonderful friend that she is, but remember, once you are married your allegiance changes.
Until then, be wise, be loving, be patient with your mother, and stand by your man.

<3 Some men are slower to come to see their need for us tender sweeties than others, but most all men finally come to a place where they are genuinely lonely and want a mate.

<3 You were hard-wired with the overwhelming need to be a wife and mother. It is a God-given need that only a man can fulfill. I can't think of one think of one thing I would rather to have than a man to really love me. It is supreme. A lovely person is easy to love. That is our goal. God wants to make you a lovely help meet. To be a good one takes effort... lots of effort.

<3 There are also 3 types of women mentioned in this book: Dreamers, Servants, Go-to Gals

<3 Don't get involved in projects that take you away from your responsibility to honor your husband. Spend your youth honing down your gifts and developing skills.

The Servant
<3 She is a peacemaker, kind and considerate.
Maintain your individuality and develop your gifts. Always keep in mind that it is good to be an Encourager, but not good to be an Enabler. An Encourager helps people better themselves. An Enabler does things for people that they should be doing for themselves, healing their self-inflicted wounds and sympathizing with their poor vices to the point that they are enabled to continue their negative behavior without facing the consequences or assuming responsibility to change.
A female example would be Ruth who faithfully served her mother in law.

The Go-to Gal
<3 She is strong, capable, and gives a sense of taking care of the greater number of people. Go-to Gals ooze with confidence, have strong opinions, and do well organizing people.

<3 A woman's need to be cared for causes her to be drawn to a man who makes her feel secure.

<3 God designed the woman to be sensitive and vulnerable for the sake of the little ones whom she must nurture. The soul of a mother must be quick to feel, to hurt, to love, to have compassion, to take in the broken, and to believe the best.

<3 Male and female together complete the image of our Creator, but we are vastly different. We each carry a strength and a weakness. Our roles were designed around these strengths and weaknesses. Neither can perform the role of the other well.

<3 God is not impressed by our gifts, our types, or our strengths. He is impressed by our willingness to abide by and appreciate his program by conforming to the needs of our man.

How to spot a prophet!
This kind of male will focus on pursuing excellence in areas such as music, art, or even computer science, but they are more likely to launch out into frontier research and find something different from the status quo. They will be prone to talk in extreme depth about one subject until they dissect every part and discover something no one else has never thought about.

How to spot a priest! <3 <3 <3
You will spot him because he likes to do things for people. Everyone calls him when there is a need, because he is nice to have around.
He usually makes a good daddy and provider. Any girl that has been in difficult relationship thinks this type of man is heaven-sent.
He is the kind of man "you need to get to know" to really find out that he is indeed fascinating.
All men seem to bloom after they marry (if their wives are of one spirit with them) into a stronger, better vision of what they were as single men.
A good woman serving him will bring out the MAN in him.

How to spot a king!
Not all King types have gifts in teaching, preaching, or directing a large company, but they do have a natural tendency to lead. This type is always being judged because they are the men who take charge.

<3 Married life is not all romance and passion - maybe five percent. The rest of your time is devoted to the routine of living. There will be unexpected trials and burdens that will catch you and your sweetie totally by surprise. Whether your family, not to mention your passion, survives life's curveballs depends on knowledge....yours.

<3 Life is not that complicated. There are only a few simple principles that God set into place that make the whole process not just run smoothly, but really fly.

<3 Many girls waste their youth by being entertained with movies or novels, shopping, playing the social game, yakking on the phone, texting, etc., or just lying around waiting for one of these things to happen.
And so their life stays limited for lack of knowledge, understanding and wisdom.

<3 As a single girl, actively pursue an aggressive life of ministry, learning and serving.

<3 Be patient and wait on the Lord (and your man).

<3 I had delighted myself in the Lord. I knew he would give me the desires of my heart. He so promised in Psalm 37:4. I remained full of peace and delight.

<3 And when it comes to Prince Charming, don't be a flirt and don't get frustrated at his slow approach. Don't try to push him to commit before he is ready. Be prepared to wait.

<3 We now have a daughter, and my dream for my daughter is that she would grow up to be just like her mother - joyful pure, confident, diligent, and content.

<3 The kind of female you are will determine the kind of male you attract.

<3 A princess will not be a come-on, neither will she stay hidden. She will be busy, productive, and her life will have purpose, and her purpose will not be just to get married.

<3 Patience is crucial. Even when a little pressure is kind, polite, and thoughtful, it is still taking control.

<3 How we expect to find a wonderful Christian spouse when all we do is go to church, go to work, and go to an occasional happy hour.
Run fast and hard after Jesus and look to the left or the right and marry the person who is at your side.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. (proverbs 3:6)

<3 Sometimes the only way you can know what you want is to find out what you don't want.

<3 God taught us that to have happily ever after you must be a giver instead of a taker. Then God gives and gives and gives.

<3 If you continue in the sin of bitterness or speaking badly of a fellow believer, and you don't have any fear of God doing weird or scary things to you, then you'd better check your relationship with eternal God. Chances are you don't have one... a relationship, that is. He does not let believers continue in sin.

<3 Are you preparing to be that kind of wife? How?
1. Obedience is doing what you know your husband wants you to do.
2. Submission is giving your heart over to your husband’s will.
3. Reverence is more than just doing your man expect or demands. It is the attitude that results from truly believing your husband holds a divine position of leadership, and regarding him with a high degree of awe.

<3 Don't take for granted that you can pitch a fit, treat a man with contempt, demand control of the money, and still have your man desperately in love with you.

<3 A man has propensity to sin with his body; a female's sins are more in attitude and words.

<3 Only when a girl learns to control her need to tear down, when she lets people go unmolested by her "truthful" information, will she begin to grow as a person. Every argument, every misunderstanding, every hurt feeling - every black depression stems from someone "supposing" another meant evil toward them, used them, thought offensively toward them, or whatever else the mind contrives. Imagine being free from all these misapprehensions! You can be free.

<3 Believe it or not, there is another world where people love one another and there are no feelings of bitterness toward anyone, where one never imagines that another is thinking ill of them, a world of daily peace and contentment.

<3 Ask God to give you the wisdom to clear your soul of this plague of negative thoughts.
Fill your soul with the beauty of a good thought-life.

<3 A pure heart and mind is one of the most important elements you will bring into your life and marriage.

What say the men?
<3 Make sure she feels blessed that you have chosen her. Keep searching until you find with the most valuable of all character traits: a thankful heart.

<3 A girl that laughs and enjoys life, bubbles with joy, and just seems satisfied with her life - that's what I looked for in my wife.

<3 It is not that one woman has a wonderful life and the other has nothing but misery; it is that one sees life through the eyes of thankfulness and the other through a heart of discontentment. A downcast attitude is a dishonor to God and your husband to-be.

<3 Commit to memory such great verses as Philippians 4:11, "..for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." Then 1 Timothy 6:6, "But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out."

<3 Life is a choice.
You choose to honor God by cheerfully going his way, which is the way of thanksgiving, joy, honoring, and obeying your husband, serving others, showing kind responses, not taking offense, being chaste in your conversation and lifestyle, and having ears to hear and a heart to change.

<3 A thankful heart is manifested in her speech; it is written on her smiling face, and it is expressed in the way she serves others. God loves thankfulness.

<3 The most important thing to me is that my wife does not have a critical spirit toward me. She does not keep a "weighed-in-the-balance" score card like some ladies do.

<3 What kind of woman did God give me? The very, very best. She is the most willing servant I could ever imagine.

<3 Learn any other skill you have a chance to learn. The Proverbs 31 woman, she knew sewing, weaving, buying and selling property, street vending, cloth dyeing, planting of vineyards, dealing with the sick and poor, and many other things.

<3 There have been financial hard times, and we have done without; but she stands by me, she works with me, she laughs away our trials, and she loves me oh-so-tenderly. I've got goose pimples just thinking about her. Lord, thank you for this woman. I am so blessed.
I bought the book here, it's free shipping WORLDWIDE, yeah rite, including Indonesia :D


  1. gila ci mantap haha.. ini aku yg suka bgt sama notes cici n mnt ijin repost ;p tulisan cici keren bs djadiin bukuu

  2. hihi, i just shared what i read and what i marked with red ink on the book :$ karena i feel so blessed reading it, and pengen bgt a lot of girls be blessed too. silahkan repost lagi, ani :D hihi makasi ya ^^

  3. buseeeett ci Erlyn!!! Ini bagus bangeeett!!! Aku ketampar banget di banyak poin. -.-' Sorry yah, aku silent reader selama ini. Aku pertama2 tau tulisan cc dari Eunike Santoso. Dia temenku. Terus, skrg lagi berasa perlu banget dah baca ni buku! So, I'm reading all your review!! Salam kenal!! :)

  4. Halo Steph :) (btw, kamu biasa dipanggil apa? hihi) Salam kenal juga :)
    Seneng bgt knowing that you're blessed from the book and reading all the reviews... :D
    Kamu sama Eunike sama2 GKI Samanhudi ya?
    Aku read your writings too :) I am glad that finally kita bisa kenalan...hihihi :$
    Let's keep sharing blessings yaaaa... :)

  5. hai ci erlyn, salam kenal, namaku febe :)
    bagus ya bukunyaaaa! tapi pas aku lagi search2, ada juga buku debi pearl yg judulnya created to be a help meet. ci erlyn pernah baca? haruskah aku baca yang versi 'created' dulu baru yang versi 'preparing'? soalnya aku masih early 20s ci hahaha, rada2 kecepetan ga ya baca yang preparing? :p