Doa yang menjadi pergumulan terhebatku selama lebih dari 2 tahun terakir.
Pergumulan yang merebut sukacita dan damai sejahteraku .. yang membuatku sulit bobo (padahal aku ini keboo abis) --
Pergumulan yang membuatku merasa kalo aku tidak berarti - jauh dari spesial..
Pergumulan yang brings the worst out of me - aku berusaha keras, frustasi ~ tuk membuktikan aku benar.
Pergumulan yang membuatku kecewa dan tidak dicintai (or tepatnya, kurang dicintai...) ~ tidak ada yang membelaku.. tidak dimengerti..tidak dipercaya..
Pergumulan yang sejujurnya - sudah aku lepaskan .... "apa yang terjadi, terjadilah ... aku sudah lelah berdoa dan berjuang tuk hal ini...."
Tapi Allahku yang mengasihiku lebih dari siapapun TERNYATA ........ selalu mendengar doaku ....
dan Dia menjawab!!!!! SEMUANYA - pada timing yang perfect.
Apa reaksiku ketika doaku terjawab??!!
*untuk erlyn yg normal - seharusnya adalah "YAAAAAYYYYY!!!!! :D :D :D"
But this time,
Aku terdiam ... dan lemas. (bukan lemas sedih, tapi lemas seperti orang yang habis berperang mati2an) ..
Aku yang "beneraaaaann? ini nyata kaaah?"
Selama 2 tahun terakir, aku selalu berasa kalo aku tertindas - sendiri berjuang... sudah mengeluarkan segenap air mata, sakit hatiku demi peperangan ini..
dan now I realized... kalo He has been there selama ini .. aku ga pernah sendiri..
He is truly my defender..
Bahkan ketika aku ga tau lagi harus berdoa apa... He heard my crying heart.
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. - Romans 8:26
Aku ga berjuang sendiri ... He was the one who fought for me
For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory - Deut 20:4
He listened every single word - I've ever said to Him .. bahkan yang udah aku totally lupa apa yg pernah aku minta ~
Aku ga pernah menangis parah ketika nulis blog .. :$ :$ but this time, air mataku tidak berhenti mengalir ...
sungguh ini tangis kemenangan ... kemenangan yang sepenuhnya anugrah ~
Karena Dia yang berjuang untukku (ketika aku sepenuhnya tidak berdaya) ... dan Dia menyerahkan medali itu untukku ..
Simply because He loves me and
because He wants to say this message "You can always count on Me, eyn ~ I will fight for you"
In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. - Romans 8:37
Dear precious friends.... our Father is faithful ~ He answers our prayers.
He did answer mine!!! bahkan ketika aku udah gave up ..
He alone is enough ..
Let me share this "Blessings" to you ..
it's a very beautiful song ~ :')
dimanapun - apapun yang kau hadapi saat ini, remember a very simple thing - He is there for you - He listens to you - dan terlebih, He will fight for you - like He did for me..
Yes - terkadang manusia bisa mengecewakanmu, tapi Tuhan tidak akan pernah!
Be blessed :')
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CSVqHcdhXQ&feature=share
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things
'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise
"But you, Lord, are a shield around me,
my glory, the One who lifts my head high.
I call out to the Lord,
and he answers me from his holy mountain." -psalm-
