How to Become Emotionally Healthy

Are you frequently overwhelmed by all you have to do? Do you often experience feelings of stress, guilt, fatigue, frustration, and anger because of the burdens you face in life?

If so, you’re not living the abundant life that God intends for you to live. God wants you to be emotionally healthy – able to live with peace and joy, no matter what circumstances you may go through.

You can enjoy that kind of life if you quit doing things that damage your soul and sabotage your ability to enjoy good emotional health. Here’s how you can change your life to be emotionally healthy:

Quit being afraid of what others think. 

Release yourself from the pressure of trying to please other people and focus solely on pleasing God. God’s opinion of you is the only one that ultimately matters. You have inherent worth because God has made you in His image, and you don’t need to try to earn God’s approval if you place your trust in Jesus, because Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross for your sins is enough for you to be set right with God. Take a few days to pay attention to how you may be trying to use words and actions to gain approval from other people. Then pray about what you notice, asking God to empower you to change those unhealthy habits and give you the confidence to simply be yourself when interacting with people. Read Bible verses that describe God’s love for you, and reflect on them often. Choose to base your identity on God’s love for you rather than on what others think of you.

Quit lying. 

Even if you don’t deliberately lie, you may be lying to God, yourself, or other people without realizing it if you’re not careful to live with complete emotional honesty. For example, do you find yourself avoiding commenting on something when telling the truth would be awkward or painful? God wants you to feel free to always speak the truth in love – and the degree to which you speak the truth is the degree to which you are free. Ask God to give you the strength to live with emotional integrity in every situation from now on. Expect conflict to occur in your relationships after you change the dynamics of them by being honest about your views. But trust that God will help you through it well if you proceed respectfully and in the right timing while avoiding blame and taking responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings.

Quit dying to the wrong things. 

While God does want you to die to sinful things that harm your soul, He doesn’t want you to deprive yourself of gifts He makes available to you to nurture your soul. So don’t deny yourself healthy pleasures, such as taking walks outdoors, getting together with friends for a meal or concert, or pursuing a hobby you enjoy. Keep in mind that you must care well for yourself before you can care well for other people God wants you to serve (such as your spouse and children). Accept the reality that you have emotional, mental, and physical limits to what you can do without becoming overly stressed – and realize that those limits are gifts from God, meant to help you make wise, healthy choices. Discover yourself by getting to know your heart (your thoughts, feelings, and values), your story (how your past has influenced the way you think and behave now), and your personality. Once you learn more about yourself, use that information to care for yourself well from now on.

Quit denying anger, sadness, and fear. 

Embrace the full range of your emotions – including difficult feelings like anger, sadness, and fear – so that you can learn what God wants you to learn from them. Instead of denying or suppressing your emotions, decide to feel them fully, so you can explore them. Consider recording your feelings in a journal to help you identify your emotions and reflect on them. Ask God to help you discern the specific reasons why you’re feeling the way you are. Then take appropriate action, responding to the information your feelings give you however God leads you to do so.

Quit blaming. 

Shift your focus away from blaming others for the problems in your life and toward taking personal responsibility. Realize that you’re not a victim; you can choose to solve some problems and trust God in situations you can’t control. Practice these skills to start changing your life for the better: setting boundaries, speaking up, saying “yes” or “no” honestly, paying attention to your feelings, taking care of yourself, confronting yourself to deal with sin in your life, remaining hopeful in every situation, thinking carefully about your decisions, and acting courageously to follow where God leads you.

Quit over-functioning. 

Decide to stop doing for other people anything that they can and should do for themselves. Ask God to give you the courage to change the rules of your relationships so that you’re no longer taking responsibility for others in unhealthy ways. Clearly and calmly explain the changes you’re making to the people who will be affected by your new, healthier choices. Prepare for chaos at first, as they figure out how to adjust to the changes. Stand firm and move forward with your plans, regardless of how they react to them, trusting the Holy Spirit to help you every step of the way.

Quit faulty thinking. 

Break the habit of thinking in faulty ways, such as all-or-nothing thinking, taking things personally, and thinking that things will never change. Read and reflect on the Bible often and pray for the Holy Spirit to renew your mind every day, so your mind will be filled with truth. Ask God to give you the wisdom to know when not to follow your feelings. Stop making assumptions about other people without verifying the facts. Whenever you catch yourself falling into faulty thinking in a particular situation, ask yourself what new way you can respond that, though unfamiliar, may be more likely to succeed. Also, consider what you’ll regret years from now if you don’t do something to change your situation, and let that motivate you to change.

Quit living someone else’s life. 

Don’t hand control of your life over to other people. Instead, do your best to discover and fulfill God’s unique purposes for you. Listen to your inner rhythms to figure out the best times and ways for you to arrange your activities without becoming overwhelmed. Set boundaries with everyone with whom you have relationships to keep them emotionally healthy. Let go of any ways you may be trying to control other people’s lives; give them the freedom to make their own choices in life, and enjoy the freedom that you now have to do the same.

by. Whitney Hopler

A report on the practical applications of Geri (and Pete) Scazzero's new book, The Emotionally Healthy Woman: Eight Things You Have to Quit to Change Your Life (Zondervan, 2013).

A Confident Heart

Here's my first ebook, read on my kindle ~ "A Confident Heart", by Renee Swope

This book really speaks a lot about what most women struggle with ~ insecurities, self doubt, comparison, guilt... etc etc... *you know what I am talking about~*

Though - I know, people hardly believe when I say "I have no confidence". I don't know either sometimes how to explain my "no confidence" - 'coz seriously, you won't see it >.< and this book helped me to see the root of the problems that I never realized have been there for a long time~!

So, girls - I am gonna stop talking now, you just read the excerpt!

"The only way we’ll have a confident heart as if we move beyond knowing about God to knowing and relying on Him - to depending on His Word with our whole heart, mind and soul." - Renee Swope -

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Self-doubt blocks the promise of God’s power and truth to change us from the inside out so that we can live with a confident heart.

Doubt keeps us from believing things can get better. Doubt convinces us that it’s not worth the effort.

It is a rare soul indeed who has been sought after for who she is—not because of what she can do, or what others can gain from her, but simply for herself . . . so what are we to conclude? Often we conclude that there is nothing in our hearts worth knowing. Whoever and whatever this mystery called I must be, it cannot be much. John Eldredge and Brent Curtis[1]

It can be hard to let people know how we’re really doing. We don’t want to be high maintenance, right? We surely don’t want people to see the peeling paint of our imperfections or the rotting attitudes in the wood boards of our minds. It’s embarrassing for people to see our flaws and failures, so we work hard to look like we’re doing fine from a distance.

Sometimes I think we tell people we’re fine even when we’re not, because we want to be fine. Or we hope that by saying we are fine, eventually we will be. Other times we act like we’re fine because others expect us to be.

Being honest about who we are and how we are doing is especially risky when it comes to our insecurities. We fear that if people know we doubt ourselves, they’ll start doubting us too.

Pretending leads to hiding and isolation. What we need is someone who will pursue us and accept us even though we’re flawed. Yet most of us doubt anyone would ever stick with us if we let them get too close. So we put up walls and hide our struggles, even from God, hoping we’ll convince Him and everyone else that we’re fine. Eventually, though, we find ourselves in the shadows of doubt, convinced that we aren’t worth knowing or pursuing. Slowly we begin to believe we have to be perfect to be loved and accepted.

Oh how I longed for someone to see past the exterior façade and look into the secret places of my heart. I wanted to be known and loved for who I was. Yet if I let my guard down, I was afraid someone would say I was too sensitive or too serious…. Even though I was surrounded by people, my insecurities convinced me I was all alone.

Jesus met Sam in one of the loneliest parts of her day. In the same way, He is there waiting for us in the midst of our imperfect lives, when our pain and failures confirm our self-doubts. He is there waiting for us when we’re going through the motions, aware of what needs to be done but unaware of how we’re going to do it. He is there on those mornings when we can’t stop criticizing ourselves for blowing it the day before; when we go to work and wonder why we’re even there.

You don’t have to pretend things are fine when they aren’t. He knows what is going on in your thoughts. Nothing could keep Him from wanting to be with you. He invites you to come to Him to receive the perfect love He offers—love that casts out fear, love that is patient and kind, love that keeps no record of wrongs.

But if we only live on the surface with God, we’ll never experience the intimacy we long for or the acceptance and security He offers. Instead of just making our lives easier, God wants us to come up close and experience Him and all that He has for us. He knows that our problems won’t be solved and our confidence won’t be found through simply getting more stuff done. Instead, He invites us to slow down and talk to Him about our day and the desires of our hearts, asking Him to show us the reasons for our doubts and insecurities. He wants us to go below the surface by asking Him to show us why we want what we want. Then we can ask Him if what we want is really what we need.

In the same way, Jesus wants to help you see what is going on in your heart and what you are struggling with that is eroding your security and confidence. If you were sitting with Jesus today, what do you think He’d want to talk about? Perhaps your heart needs to be set free from pretending and perfectionism. Are you longing for others’ approval and wonder why you can never get enough?

Jesus is the only one who can meet our deepest needs to be accepted and delighted in simply because of who we are. We can offer nothing but our presence, and he will desire us just the same.

A personal relationship with God sets us free to be all we were created to be. As children of God we were designed to find our identity, our significance, and our confidence in Him.

The only way we’ll have a confident heart as if we move beyond knowing about God to knowing and relying on Him - to depending on His Word with our whole heart, mind and soul.

When I feel insecure, insignificant, or unloved, remind me of Your perfect love that has the power to cast out my fear.

Our plans (me and my ex boyfriend) of a future together crumbled under the pressure of me expecting him to be all that I needed, and him wanting freedom to be who he wanted. I had been crazy about him – a little too crazy.

You’ve been trying to earn your value in everything you’ve done. But you will never ding the love you for in anyone or anything but ME. I AM the unconditional love you are looking for.

Until our hearts find complete security and significance in God’s unconditional love, we will never be satisfied.

Those of us who struggles with insecurity and find ourselves in the shadow of doubt often get there because we are seeking our validation in people’s opinions, our worth in accomplishments, and our identity in excessive commitments. It can only go on for so long before something breaks. We either get tired and quit trying, or we push ourselves to the point of burnout because we don’t know how to set boundaries.

God put a longing for unfailing love in our hearts because He knew it would lead us back to Him. Only God’s unfailing love will fill and fulfill the desires of our hearts. It is the deepest thirst of our souls. Until God’s love is enough, nothing else will be.

For instance, if we focus on our job (or our marriage) al the time, thinking about how we are doing at work (or home) and what our boss (or husband) thinks about us, we start to find our worth in our performance, and our job (or marriage) can become something we worship. If we are doing well, we feel fulfilled. If we are not doing well, we feel empty and like we have less worth.

Salvation is one-time decision, but finding satisfaction in Christ and living in the security of His promises is a daily process.

Jesus wants us to invite Him to look into the well of our hearts each day and show us what, who and where we are looking to be filled and fulfilled. As we allow Jesus to fill and fulfill us instead, the Holy Spirit quenches our spiritual thirst. We find our satisfaction in Him and begin to live with a sense of contentment and confidence based on the unchanging promise of who we are and what we have in Christ.

We become secure as we know and rely on His love more and more. It is a moment by moment, day by day experience where we process our thoughts, emotions, and decisions with God, positioning our hearts to let His perspective redefine ours.

A confident heart is found in a woman who knows beyond the shadow of a doubt that she is loved no matter what. Lasting security comes when we bring the empty well of our hearts to Jesus and ask Him to fill and fulfill us with the security of His unfailing love.

"Faith looks back and draws courage; hope looks ahead and keeps desire alive." -John Eldredge and Brent Curtis-

Many of us have been completely knocked off our feet and wondered if we would ever have the strength to get back up again.

Yet getting back up again is often where we find our strength.

God also showed me I needed to find my security and hope in Him alone by letting Him be the Father I longed for. I needed to grieve some of the things I wanted that I would never have. I also needed to invite God into those hurting places so He could bind up my broken heart and set me free from captivity to my fear that I would never have a happy ending.

His power is perfected in the broken places we consider to be our greatest weaknesses – our most vulnerable emotions we don’t want anyone to know about. In those hiding places, God calls us out of captivity. When we’re willing to let Him, He brings hope for our future despite the pain of our past.

God’s plans for us are found when we surrender ours and seek His each day. God’s plans unfold each time we come to Him, talk to Him, and really believe He’s listening. Learning to live in the security of God’s promises is a daily journey of dependence.

We find ourselves in the shadow of doubt many times because our thoughts are mostly about ourselves; how we’re performing and what others are thinking about us.

When we focus our attention on ourselves, we turn our attention away from God. We leave no room in our thoughts to listen to what He is thinking about us, because we have given that place away to be occupied by other people’s opinions.

“You can’t put your hope in a man, you can only put your hope in God. A man’s love will always disappoint you.”

Paul warns us that those who “measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves” are not wise (2 Cor 10:12). Our struggle with comparison will always leave us feeling like we’re lacking something. We try to do more and be more, but it’s never enough. We still feel insecure and wonder what’s wrong with us.

What I need to change is the way I talk to myself. Because every time I say, “What’s wrong with me?” I plant a seed of doubt and convince myself more and more that something is wrong with me.

That is not what God wants me to say to myself, and it’s not what He wants you to say to yourself either. However, we have an enemy who loves to cast the shadow of self-doubt over us and get us to focus on all that is wrong with us (real or perceived), instead anything that is right with us.

“The more you reaffirm who you are in Christ, the more your behavior will begin to reflect your true identity.” Dr. Neil T. Anderson

Trying to get our “good enough” outside of God’s promises and provision will always create insecurity and obstruct our relationship with Him and with other people.

The truth is, we are all “wrecked up”, but we are loved with reckless abandon by the King of Glory. We may be rejected by man, but we are accepted and adored by our Maker. We may be betrayed and cast aside, but we are chosen and redeemed by our Heavenly Father.

We also have an enemy who is completely against us. He is jealous of God’s glory in us and threatened by the beauty that lies within the heart of a woman whose identity is secure. That is why he attacks our confidence. He knows if he can paralyze us with self-doubt and insecurity we will never live up to the full potential of who we are and what we have in Christ.

Now, we don’t need to be afraid of our enemy. The One who is in us is greater than the one who is against us. However, we do need to be aware of his schemes and ready to stand against them.

Although people’s preferences will change, God’s desire for us won’t. Others might not think we’re good enough, but God always will. And even if someone decides they don’t desire us anymore, God most certainly does! The truth is, when we belong to Jesus we are loved and accepted forever. We are covered in His goodness, and it’s His goodliness that makes us good enough!

Comparison leaves us insecure, confused, and discontent. My friend Genia summed it up well when she told me, “Every time I compare myself with someone else, I can never measure up because I am comparing my insides with their outsides.” She is so right. We compare how we feel inadequate on the inside with someone who looks like they have it all together on the outside. Then we try to polish our outsides, hoping that will make us feel better on the inside, but it never does.

Comparison causes us to compete with each other, but no one wins. God never intended for us to compete with each other; He wants us to complete one another, celebrating and encouraging each other’s strengths while discovering who He created us to be.

God deliberately gave you the personality He wanted you to have so He could impact certain people through your life.

We all have strengths, and when surrendered to Christ, we become more like Him as we become more like our true selves.

When we are faithful with the little things, God entrusts us with more and we get to share in the joy of fulfilling His purposes. We are stewards responsible for all God has entrusted to us, no matter how significant or insignificant our gifts seem.

I surrender my personality, heart’s desires, abilities, spiritual gifts, and experiences to Your purposes. I delight myself in You, Lord, trusting You to shape desires of my heart to match Yours.

Grace is the security of knowing God’s love is guaranteed for us because we trust in Christ.

When I say, “I feel so weak.” God says, “I’ll give you power.”

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. (2 Cor 12:9)

When I say, “I feel so alone.” God says, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

The Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. (Deut 31:6)

Lies Women Believe

When I first decided to buy and ordered this book, I never knew I would need the book this much. This book is really another "how God truly meet what I need at the right time" experience.

I don't know what lies you've been believing, girls. Whether you still lives in lies or you have experienced the truth that set you free, this book is worth to read. To help you break the bondage, through the Word and His Spirit. And, to help others you know still struggle with their bondage.

God bless you, precious daughter of the King! -eyn-

by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

But for women, there is a disconnection between what they know intellectually and what they feel to be true. And therein lies one of our problems: We trust what we feel to be true, rather than what we know to be true.

The truth is, God does love us. Whether or not we feel loved, regardless of what we have done or where we have come from, He loves us with an infinite, incomprehensible love.

He loves me-because He is love. His love for me is not based on anything I have ever done or ever could do for Him. It is not based on my performance. I do not deserve His love and could never earn it.

The God of the Bible is a compassionaate, tender, merciful Father. That doesn't mean He gives us everything we want - no wise father would give his children everything they want. It doesn't mean we can always understand His decisions - He is far too great for that. It doesn't mean He never allows us to suffer pain - in fact, at times, He actually inflicts pain and hardship upon us. Why? Because He loves us. Because He cares about us. Because He is committed to us. Hebrews tells us, "God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness"

The problem is that our view of ourselves and our sense of worth are often determined by the input and opinions of others. Sometimes the input of others is accurate and helpful. But not always. If, for some reason, the person we are listening to is looking through a defective "lens", his or her vision will be distorted. Some of us have lived all our lives in an emotional prison because we have accepted what a false, "broken" mirror said to us about ourselves.

The deepest longings of our hearts cannot be filled by any created person or thing. Every created thing is guaranteed to disappoint us. Things can burn or break or be stolen or get lost. People can move or change or fail or die. I would always live in a state of disappointment if I was looking to people to satisfy me at the core of my being.

The truth is that all I have to do is the work God assigns to me. What a freedom it has been for me to accept that there is time for me to do everything that is on God’s “to do” list for my day, for my week, and for my life!

The frustration comes when I attempt to take on responsibilities that are not on His agenda for me. When I establish my own agenda or let others determine the priorities for my life, rather than taking time to discern what it is that God wants me to do, I end up buried under piles of half-finished, poorly done, or never-attempted projects and tasks. I live with guilt, frustration, and haste, rather than enjoying the peaceful, well-ordered life that He intends.

Frustration is the by-product of attempting to fulfill responsibilities God does not intend for us to carry. Freedom, joy, and fruitfulness come from seeking to determine God’s priorities for each season of life, and then setting out to fulfill those priorities, in the power of His Spirit, realizing that He has provided necessary time and ability to do everything that He has called us to do.

The truth is that marriage is good and right, that it is God’s plan for most people, and that there can (and ought to) be great joy and blessing in the context of a God-centered marriage. Satan twist the Truth about marriage by suggesting to women that the purpose of marriage is personal happiness and fulfillment, and that they cannot be truly happy without a husband to love them and meet their needs.

The truth is that the ultimate purpose of marriage is not to make us happy, but to glorify God.

The truth is that God has promised to give us everything we need, and if He knows a husband would make it possible for us to bring greater glory to Him, then He will provide a husband.

The truth is that those who insist on having their own way often end up with unnecessary heartache, while those who wait on the Lord always get His best.

Many Christian wives do not realize that they have two powerful “weapons” available to them that are far more effective than nagging, whining, or preaching. The first weapon is a godly life, which God often uses in a man’s life to create conviction and spiritual hunger. (1 Peter 3:1-4)

The second weapon is prayer. When a wife consistently points out the things she wishes her husband would change, she is likely to make him defensive and resistant. But when she takes her concerns to the Lord, she is appealing to a higher power to act in her husband’s life – and it’s a lot harder for a man to resist God than to resist a nagging wife!

Mary was a woman who knew how to keep things in her heart and ponder them. (Luke 2:19) She could afford to wait and be quite because she knew the power of God and trusted Him to fulfill His plans for her life and her family.

If we as women focus on what we “deserve”, on our “rights”, or on what men “ought” to do for us, we will become vulnerable to hurt and resentment when our expectations are not fulfilled. Blessing and joy are the fruit of seeking to be a giver rather than a taker and of looking for ways to bless, serve, and minister to the needs of our families.

I have discovered that the fundamental issue in the relation to submission really comes down to my willingness to trust God and to place myself under His authority. When I am willing to obey Him, I find it is not nearly so difficult or threatening to submit to the human authorities He has placed in my life.

God said that man needs a helper. The true woman celebrates this calling and becomes affirming rather than adversarial, compassionate rather than controlling, a partner rather than a protagonist. She becomes substantively rather than superficially submissive.

The true woman is not afraid to place herself in a position of submission. She does not have to grasp; she does not have to control. Her fear dissolves in the light of God’s covenant promise to be her God and to live within her. Submission is simply a demonstration of her confidence in the sovereign power of the Lord God. Submission is a reflection of her redemption.

I can’t help but wonder to what extent we women have demotivated and emasculated the men around us by our quickness to take the reins rather than waiting on the Lord to move men to action. We can so easily strip men of the motivation to rise to the challenge and provide the necessary leadership. To make matters worse, when they do take action, the women they look to for encouragement and affirmation correct them or tell them how they could have done it better.

What can free us from the drive to control the men in our lives? We must learnt to wait on the Lord; in His time, and in His way, He will act on behalf of those who wait for Him.

God uses the rough edges of each partner in a marriage to conform the other to the image of Christ. Your mate’s weaknesses can become a tool in God’s hand to make you into the women He created you to be.

Love is not a feeling; it is a commitment to act in the best interests of another.

Regardless of what emotions are whirling around inside, by God’s grace, we can choose to fix our minds on Him and to “trust and obey”. When we do, we will experience His peace and the grace to be faithful, even though our circumstances may not change.

We must choose, without any regard to the state of our emotions, what attitude our will will take toward God. We must recognize that our emotions are only the servants of our will. Our will can control our feelings if only we are steadfastly minded to do so. Many times when my feelings have declared contrary to the facts, I have changed those feelings entirely by a steadfast assertion of their opposite.

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee. Because he trusteth in thee. Isaiah 26:3

Certainly what happens in our bodies does affect us emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually. We cannot isolate these various dimensions of who we are – they are inseparably intertwined. But we fall into the trap of the enemy when we justify fleshly, sinful attitudes and responses based on our physical condition on hormonal changes.

But every monthly cycle is also a reminder that God made us women, and that which our womanhood comes the capacity for being a bearer and nurturer of life. Even as a single woman, I find this to be gracious and valuable reminder of who I am, why God created me, and how I can best glorify Him here on this earth.

Do not look forward to the changes and chances of this life in fear; rather look to them with full hope that, as they arise, God, whose you are, will deliver you out of them. He has kept you hither-to, - do you but hold fast to His dear hand, and He will lead you safely through all things; and, when you cannot stand, He will bear you in His arms… The same everlasting Father who cares for you today, will take care of you to-morrow, and every day. Either He will shield you from suffering, or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace then, and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations. –Francis de Sales-

Regardless of how we are feeling or what we are going through, our immediate response should be to turn to the Lord. Whether we are prospering or suffering, happy or sad, healthy or sick – before we do anything else, we should acknowledge God’s presence and ask Him to walk with us through the experience, to direct us in responding to the circumstances, and to provide His resources to deal with the situation.

When it comes to dealing with our emotions, we must remember that “feeling good” is not the ultimate objective in the Christian’s life. God does not promise that those who walk with Him will be free from all difficult emotions. In fact, as long as we are in these bodies, we will experience varying degrees of pain and distress. The real focus of our lives must not be changing or “fixing” things to make ourselves feel better but on the glory of God and His redemptive purpose in the world. Everything else in expendable. True joy comes from abandoning ourselves to that end.

God is far more interested in our holiness than in our immediate, temporal happiness – He knows that apart from being holy, we can never be truly happy.

True joy is not the absence of pain but the sanctifying, sustaining presence of the Lord Jesus in the midst of the pain.

His grace is sufficient to deal with the memories, wounds, and failures of the most scarred or sordid past.

The only way to experience true freedom and peace is to let go of the reins – to relinquish all control to God, believing that He can be trusted to manage all that concerns us.

Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World

by Joanna Weaver.
- a book for you who wants to live a balanced life. To please God with your intimacy with Him and bless people with your service. - eyn

Jesus is our supreme example. He was never in a hurry. He knew who he was and where he was going. He wasn’t held hostage to the world’s demands or even its desperated needs. “I only do what the Father tells me to do.”

Two completely different women undergo a transformaton right before our eyes; a holy makeover. The bold one becomes meek, the mild one courageous. For it is impossible to be in the presence of Jesus and not bechanged.

We can get caught in the same performance trap, feeling as though we must prove our love for God by doing great things for him.

The Kingdom of God, you see, is a paradox. While the world applauds achievement, God desires companionship. The world clamors, “Do more! Be all that you can be!” But our Father whispers, “Be still and know that I am God.”

When we first spend time in his presence – when we take time to hear his voice – God provides the horsepower we need to pull the heaviest load. He saddles up Grace and invites us to take a ride.

The only thing that came out between sobs was a broken plea, “Tell me the good news........... I honestly can’t remember.... “ perhaps you have felt the same way. You’ve known the Lord your whole life and yet you haven’t found the peace and fulfillment you’ve always longed for.

Matthew 11:28-29

While Martha may have been the first person to ask Jesus the question, “Lord, dont you care?” she definitely wasn’t the last. We’ve all felt the loneliness, the frustration, the left-out-ness and resentment she experienced in the kitchen that Bethany afternoon – doing all that work for others when no one seems to notice and no one seems to care.

That’s what i want when i’m feeling overwhelmed: soft, soothing words and plenty of helpful action.

“What you are doing is not good. You will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone.” Exodus 18:17-18

“But even pure ministry for Jesus can become a weight we drag around....it’s called the ‘treadmill’ anointing’, and it isn’t from God”. –Dutch Sheets-

It’s easy to find a shady spot and feel sorry for ourselves when we’re distracted and discouraged. Especially when we run up against unexpected opposition. Especially when it feels like we’re running for our lives.

When we’re distracted and discouraged, tired and overwhelmed, there is no better place to go than to our Father. He alone has what we need. As you do, you’ll find healing for your hurting heart.

Five strategies for fighting discouragement.
1.Allow for rest stops
2.Get a new point of view
3.Have patience
4.Mingle
5.Set the timer

What is it about us women that creates such a desperate need in us to always “know”, to always “understand”? We want an itinerary for our life, and when God doesn’t immediately produce one, we set out to write our own.

I love the compassion of Jesus in this story. He saw Martha’s situation. He
understood her complaint. But he loved her too much to give her what she wanted. Instead, Jesus gave her what she needed – an invitation to draw cloes to him. With open arms, he invited the troubled woman to leave her worries and cares and find refuge in him alone.

Because when you have questions, there is no better place to go than to the One who has the answers.

“Worry is allowing problems and distress to come between us and the heart of God. It is the view that God has somehow lost control of the situation and we cannot trust Him. A legitimate concern presses us closer to the heart of God and causes us to lean and trust on Him all the more.” – Gary E Gilley –

“Any concern too small to be turned intro a prayer is too small to be made into a burden.” –Corrie Ten Boom-

Eyn, eyn ..do not let your heart be trouble. Trust in God. Trust also in Me. John 14:1

Now, this is what the Lord Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways.” Haggai 1:5

I realized then that, while there are many things that need to be done, things i’m capable of doing and want to do, i am not always the one to do them. Even if i have a burden for a certain need or project, my interest or concern is not a surefire design that i need to be in charge. God may only be calling me to pray that the right person will rise up to accomplish it. What’s more, i may be stealing someone else’s blessing when i assume i must do it all.

Make no mistake. Satan enjoys using our hectic schedules, stressed bodies, and emotional upsets in his efforts to put up barriers to our intimacy with God. That’s why we need to take a close look at any thought, feeling, or activity that diminishes our appetite for intimacy with God.

If you’re having a little trouble feeling close to God – or even wanting to draw close – you might want to consider what activities you are using to fill the empty places of your life. What’s taking the edge off your hunger for him?

Service without spirituality is exhausting and hopeless. But in the same respect, spirituality without service is barren and selfish. We need to unite the two and do it all "as unto the Lord".

When we do that, something wonderful happens to our work in the Kitchen. Sinks turn into sanctuaries. Mops swab holy ground. And daily chores that used to bore us or wore us down become opportunities to express our gratitude - selfless avenues for his grace.

Our sanctification, does not depend upon changing our works, but in doing that for God's sake which we commonly do for our own.

Jesus seems to do nothing of Himself which He can possibly delegate to His creatures. He commands us to do slowly and blunderingly what He could do perfectly and in the twinkling of an eye." - cs lewis -

Instead of expecting God to acquiesce to our plans, dreams, schemes - or frantically trying to impress him with our efforts on his behalf - we simply need to "watch to see where God is working and join Him"

Duty gets offended quickly if it isn't appreciated, but love learns to laugh a lot and to work for sheer joy of doing it.

"True love hurts. It always has to hurt. If you really love one another, you will not be able to avoid making sacrifies." Mother Teresa

Everyone starts at the same place - at the most humble point of service. But when you're truly a servant, a job title and a position are completely secondary. You're willing to do whatever needs to be done.

Working from out God-given gifts releases ministry potential in greater measure and helps the various members of the body work harminiously.

Rather than picking and choosing ministry opportunities based solely on our talents and interests. We are directed 'always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord'. -jack hoey

When we surrender ourselves ourselves to be used by God, we don't always get to pick the time, the method, or the place of ministry. In fact, sometimes, we may find ourselves doing nothing at all - except praying and waiting for God's leading.

A true passion for God will naturally reesult in compassion for people. We can't love the Father without also being willing to love his kids - even when they're less than lovable.

Checking your motives - Jan Johnson
1. Am I serving to impress anyone?
2. Am I serving to receive external rewards?
3. Is my service affected by moods and whims (my own as well as others)?
4. Am I using this service to feel good about myself?
5. Am I using my service to muffle God's voice demanding I change?

Because if our Kitchen Service doesn't point people to Jesus, we risk becoming surrogate messiahs. If we, not God, end up being their source of hope, we are setting them up for profound dissapointment and ourselves for profound burnout - because we, in ourselves, are simply not up to the task of saving the world. In ourselves, like peter and john at the gate called Beautiful, we have nothing to offer. But in Christ, we are given the power to give people what they most desperately need.

I want my relationship with God to be so real and vital, so like that of the apostles Peter and John, that people can't help but sit up and take notice.

All the things I'd been trying to accomplish were important, but I had lost my center. Busy being busy, I'd forgotten to tend to my inner self, the spiritual me. Like a wheel without an axle, I'd careened through life, bouncing off one duty and onto another.

Life is filled with Hula-Hoops. We all have responsibilites, important things that need our attention. If we're not careful, however, our hearts and our minds can be consumed with the task of keeping them in the air. Rather than centering ourselves in Christ and letting the other elements of our lives take their rightful place around the center, we end up shifting our attention from one important to-do item to another, to frantically trying to keep them all in motion.

It's easy to forget that while there is a time to work, there is also a time to worship -- and it's the worship, the time we spend with God, that provides the serene center to a busy, complex life.

We will all have trials. The question is not when the pressure will come, but where the pressure will lie. Will it come between us and the Lord? Or will it press us closer to His breast? - hudson taylor

Life works better when we know how to glance at things but gaze at God. Seeing Him clearly will enable us to see all other things clearly. - selwyn hughes

It is so easy to lose focus in life, to lose our center. Life conspires to drag eyes away from the face of the Savior, hypnotizing us with the unending swat of our problems.

First things first, the Lord was saying. Take care of my business, and I'll take care of yours. Make room in your heart of me, and I'll make room for everything else.

The very definition of sin is separation from God. So no matter how important the activity, no matter how good it seems, if I use it as an excuse to hold God at arm's length, it is sin.

Sometimes we have to slow down in order to take spiritual inventory and see where we stand with God. Sometimes we have to realize how empty we are before we're willing to be filled.

My personal times of devotion were erratic at best. My prayer life was quirky, my reading of the word was sporadic. And because I was not spending regular quite time with God, I was not putting myself in a position to be filled and refilled.

I didn't have to wait until I felt spiritual to spend time with God. I just had to make a decision of the will, and the spiriutal feelings would eventually come around.
On those crazy loopy days when I don't feel so "hoopy", I'm learning to reach for the Lord instead of chocolate chip sedatives. I'm learning how to leave the kitchen and head for the living room where Jesus waits, because that's where I'll find everything I need and everything I want. What I really need is more and more of the Master himself

Faith is about how you live your life in the meantime, how you make decisions when you dont know for sure what’s next. What you do with yourself between the last time you heard from God and the next time you hear from God is the ongoing challenge of a life of faith. –CeCe Winans – On a Positive Note.

There are times in every life when God writes the end to a chapter, when he asks us to say good-bye to something or someone who has been important to us. It might be a spouse, a parent, or friend. It might be a job we’ve loved, a city we’ve enjoyed, a prejudice or an assumption that we’ve always thought wes true.

Endings, in a sense, are inevitable. Dead ends, failed possibilities, and brick walls will dissapoint us all. And when toses endings come, we can fight them as Peter adivsed Jesus. Or we can accept them as Jesus did, as coming from the Father’s hand.

Let go one piece at a time. Sometimes we cling to control because we fear we’ll be asked to make drastic changes we’re not ready for. But God, in his kindness, takes us at a pace we can handle. If we simply obey what he asks of us at the moment, he’ll lead us the next step when we’re ready.

Martha thought she had value because she was productive. Jesus wanted her to learn she had value simply because she was his.

And being teachable, in essence, involves three things:
-Being willing to listen
-Acting on what we hear
-Responding to discipline

Obedience is an essential ingredient in intimacy with God and the key to having a Mary heart. Either we take Jesus’ words to heart and change, or we listen but disregard them. And to disregard the voice of God is worse than not listening at all. Especially if we say we love him.

All God’s revelations are sealed until they are opened to us by obedience. Obey God in the thing He shows you, and instantly the next thing is opened up.. God will never reveal more truth about himsefl until you have obeyed what you know already. –Oswald Chambers

Our loving Father will do whatever it takes to break that rebellion before that rebellion breaks us. Eve it means giving us a time-out (like having to wait for something we’ve wanted), taking away our toys (like the new computer that just crashed), or allowing some affliction to come our way.

If we find ourselves becoming critical of other people, we should stop examining them, and start ecamining ourselves. -
William Barclay

At the same time, it's important to remember that saying yes to God doesn't mean saying yes to everything! When our lives are overbooked, it's easy for us to become spiritually dry and undernourished. We can barely hear God's voice above the busy noise, let alone say yes to what he is asking. In this case, we do need to learn how to say no, but only so we are able to say yes to God when he wants to give us an assignment.

It's a great release to know that the secret to 'doing it all' is not necessarily 'doing it all' but rather discovering which part of the 'all' he has given us to do and doing all of that. -Jill Briscoe

It's increasingly hard to resist the temptation to use the Sabbath as a catch-up day instead of a day of worship and rest.

How does she keep a balance? I asked her not long ago. "It takes a ruthless commitment to first thing first. I am constantly having to ask the Lord to do the Psalm 139 thing on me: "Live in my heart. Search and examine me. Know my heart."

"Take my struggles and use them for your glory. Change me. Give me a Mary heart in my Martha world."
And with those words would come a quiteness, an awareness that the Lord was working. I began to realize that if I was yoked to Christ, then I could trust him to set the pace. He knew what I needed and what had to be done. I could trust him to accomplish what he'd started. My part was sto partner with him. So I'd get up from prayer and go back working and waiting some more.

I fear our generation has come dangerously near the "I'm - getting - tired - so - let's - just - quit" mentality. And not just in the spiritual realm. Dieting is a discipline, so we stay fat. Finishing school is a hassle, so we bail out. Cultivating a close relationship is painful, so we back off. Getting a book written is demanding, so we stop short. Working through conflict in a marriage is a tiring struggle, so we walk away. Stricking with an occupation is tough, so we start looking elsewhere..
And about the time we are ready to give it up, along comes the Master, who leans over and whispers: "Now keep going; don't quit. Keep on"

When it comes to our spiritual lives, a lot of us are all-or-nothing people. If we aren't automatically perfect, we just give up. When Christlike virtues like patience and kindness seem hard to come by, we abandon our character development and decide holiness is for those better equipped. But when we give up, we're giving up on our part of the partnership. Perseverance is one of our responsibilities in this process of being changed.

When we surrender our lives to Jesus Christ, we release the Lord of the process to do his work. For it is in our weakness that Christ is strong. It is in our inadequacy that we find him more than sufficient. And it is in our willingness to be broken that he brings wholeness - more wholeness and completeness than we ever dreamed possible.

O Christ, do not give me tasks equal to my powers,
But give me powers equal to my tasks,
For I want to be streched by things too great for me,
I want to grow through the greatness of my tasks,
But I shall need your help for the growing.
E. Stanley Jone

Find Rest My Soul

Hello, girls :)

I know it's been forever I haven't updated the next chapter of our Preparing to be a Help Meet's journey. Nor any writings about anything :$
If you are expecting this post would be it... I am so sorry, that I will disappoint you.

The last 3 weeks , I've been running on empty. I had driven my car (my own life) until it was out of gas. I had no energy left. I was extremely tired, physically and emotionally. I used to be "a friend you can always talk to" for I always had answers. But, these last weeks, girls, I even couldn't give any suggestion for every simple questions asked to me. My only answer during these weeks was "I will pray for you" - and I know, I know, that's the best thing I can do. 'coz God surely takes care of everything.

If you are like me, tend to do more, serve more. Take care of others (means EVERYONE), not yourself. Push beyond limit. Take any responsibilities (whatever) ... beware, girls!
I am not saying that they are wrong! BUT - don't let them destroy yourself.
I am not suggesting you to be selfish .. NO NO! But, keep everything in balance - and also remember to take care of yourself.
'coz if you happen to reach a point, like me, having no energy left! Drained! You will need to do some radical changes. To re-prioritize your schedule. Or maybe to erase some schedule from your agenda.

I am really thankful that God allowed me to experience all of these, because He knows me really well. If this girl (EYN) still has just a little energy, she won't stop! So, He took everything from me, even thing I do best (talking) - I just couldn't do it. All I did was crying and crying. I felt helpless. I felt like I didn't know myself. I was not being Erlyn.
I experienced what Bill Hybels himself experienced and shared on his book "Fit to be Tied" - emotional depletion.
He wanted me to rest, completely! He showed me and reminded me - one very important thing, that my value is not from what I do, but simply from who I am. Yes, I am His!

I am still recovering now, girls.
Told ya, it's a chronic fatigue. Need a lot of time.
During the recovery time,
I sleep. (I had had restless nights)
I talk to my close friends... I was honest about my conditions, and told them how I needed their care :$ (seriously, I rarely do this... :$)
I spend time on His words.
I read books. I read "Fit to be Tied" again (read it several times before) - the chapter about Emotional Depletion and Living in a Crisis Mode. Thank God for the insight, I experienced everything Bill and Lynn Hybels shared on the book.
I read "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World" by Joanna Weaver. Here's the excerpts

You know the story really well - Mary and Martha - to all Marthas in this world, it's a yay and privilege, God calls us to serve in the Kitchen. But, do remember, do first thing first. Take the responsibilities or any services, if they are really God wanted you to do. You don't have to do everything. He might want to use and bless others too to do the services (that you think "I have to do it!!!").

When you start to feel burdensome, ask yourself, "Is there anything I shouldn't do but I still keep doing 'coz I want to please others or it makes me feel good about myself or I think God will love me more doing it?" If it's a yes.. you better quit.
'coz Matthew 11, clearly said ... "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light"
Here's the thing, girls, God knows your capacity really well, He knows how much burden you can bear - so you still feel it light and easy. When it is no longer light and easy. Examine, whether it's really from Him. Or is it you, who added the burden (do things that it's not for you to do)?
He loves you, sweetheart, not for what you do - but for who you are.

And, yeah, that's what I've been doing, I've come to Him and He did give me rest :)
I take time to refuel my energy and refresh my soul. And take care of myself. :$
Though, to be honest with you, I can't wait to go back to my track and run fast...but No No... I want His track, His pace!
There is no way I can bless others if I run low (or empty). So, it's completely fine to rest. (haha..you would be surprised if I tell you that I sometimes feel guilty to rest..)
I learnt that it doesn't mean I am less productive when I slow down, it means that I prepare myself for a better one, the one God chooses me to do - not I, myself, choose to do.

So, what's next, eyn? I don't know!
What I do know, I want to follow His instructions. A step by step instruction.
And most importantly, aaah!
I know, when I don't know what to do, God always knows! It's more than enough :)
'coz sometimes, He just wants me to do nothing, but to enjoy Him and His blessings :D

when God brings back my past

April 6th, 2011

Are u familiar with “I hope he is my first and my last”, girls? I believe most of us ever had that thought! At least, I did!

Krn, tentu-nya pada umumnya, ketika kita commit tuk menjalani suatu hubungan, kita berharap kalo the relationship will last.. *I am talking about serious relationship * I am pretty sure, kita ga ada rencana putus!

But, the thing is tidak semua orang berkesempatan menikah dgn her first boyfriend.

Tidak semua orang berkesempatan mengetahui (dan mengerti) sejak dia kecil – ketika apa yg namanya “cinta” sudah mulai menaburkan benihnya di hati – bahwa pacaran itu untuk something serious – bukan hanya sekedar “teman saya sudah punya pacar, saya juga harus!” – or - bukan karena “kalo saya tidak pacaran, tar dipikir saya tidak laku, so lebih baik saya terima siapapun yg nembak saya” – atau - “masa saya harus sendirian pas attend sweet 17th party or prom nite?” – ataupun – karena “kata orang, hidup hanya sekali, jadi explore lah selagi kamu bisa, toh ga ada ruginya pacaran”.

Tidak semua orang berkesempatan diajarkan ataupun mendengar pengalaman pahit dari orang yg lebih tua bahwa “pacaran hanya dengan fondasi suka sama suka (baca = cinta sejati) itu tetap ada kesempatan putus” … dan tidak semua orang, for sure, mengetahui dari awal bahwa yg dibilang “lebih baik sakit gigi daripada sakit hati” itu adalah FAKTA!

Ya, beberapa orang, atau mungkin sebagian besar orang menikah dengan pacar-nya yg kesekian.

*Untuk-ku pribadi tentunya, I hope he is my second and my last. *

Bagiku, “berkesempatan” saying “he was my first and certainly not my last” adalah masa2 pergumulan dan kehancuran terhebat *sejauh ini* setelah kematian my grannie.

Seminggu belakangan ini, karena satu hal, membuat pikiranku cukup kacau ttg my relationship skrg *dan actually, membuat hatiku cukup sakit*, not being able to share my feelings with anyone,

(“Many times I have been forced to my knees, realizing there was no other place to go”. –Abraham Lincoln-)

aku menuangkan hatiku dan menceritakan semuanya ke Tuhan – dari yg tidak tau apa2 *mengapa, apa dan bagaimana”, pelan-pelan dia bukakan “what’s actually going on with me?”

it’s not that my relationship was in trouble, tapi justru karena my relationship skrg is such a blessing, and I thank about it everyday-lah, aku jadi "kacau".

Then, aku realized, yg membuat-ku luar biasa kacau, adalah karena aku takut gagal! Aku takut kalo segala sesuatu yg indah harus berakhir dst… PARNO abiz :$ aku yang “huhu, mengapa harus ada yg namanya kegagalan di masa lalu? Kalo harus gagal, mengapa aku harus pacaran at the first place“

I felt helpless, I shouted… “I NEED HELP!!”

And what amazing God He is, saat itu juga, aku buka “My Utmost for His Highest”, and u wouldn’t believe what’s written there……

Never be afraid when God brings back your past. Let your memory have its way with you. It is a minister of God bringing its rebuke and sorrow to you. God will turn what might have been into a wonderful lesson of growth for the future.

-----

Seketika itu juga, badaiku Dia tenangkan.. Dia, Allah yg menjawab kegalauan hatiku when I needed it the most – Dia reminded me once again, "everything is under My control, Eyn!"

Dear, girls, of course, “sepertinya” semua akan lebih indah – bila tidak pernah ada yg namanya hancur hati karena putus cinta, namun bukan berarti hidup kita akan hancur berantakan, dan kita tidak akan punya next relationship yg jauh lebih indah.

*aku bilang “sepertinya”, karena aku tidak lagi mengerti apa itu rasanya kalo aku tidak pernah mengalami patah hati, yg ku rasakan saat ini adalah Tuhan sungguh bekerja luar biasa sepanjang hidupku – walau aku tidak berkesempatan to have my first boyfriend to be my last. *

Mungkin saja, seandainya saat itu (13 tahun yang lalu), aku tidak membiarkan perasaan hati bergejolak menguasai pikiranku *kalo P. Tong bilang – pacaran masa remaja adalah pacaran paling murni, karena mereka hanya lihat cinta, bukan karir, bukan kedudukan, bukan materi. Dan aku meng-AMIN-i hal itu* -- seandainya saat itu, aku bisa konsul dulu ke hamba Tuhan – or seandainya saat itu, aku taat ke mama “masi kecil, jangan pacaran dulu!” – mungkin aku tidak perlu mengalami hancur hati!

BUT GOD, Dia Allah yang bekerja dalam segala sesuatu * baik dalam kesalahanku * untuk mendatangkan kebaikan bagiku.(Roma 8:28)

I am not suggesting you to “kalo gitu, coba aja, pacaran lah – toh kalo salah, Tuhan bekerja kok!!!” NO!!!!

yg aku mau katakan adalah, walaupun kita gagal – selalu ada yg Tuhan mampu kerjakan tuk mendatangkan kebaikan bagi kita.

Yes, ada kesalahan, ada konsekuensi, ada sakit parah~~! Tapi ketika kita mau bertekuk lutut – menyerah di hadapan Tuhan, Dia akan mengganti tangis kita menjadi sukacita besar.

Kegagalanku membuatku menyadari – bahwa cinta yg murni sekalipun tidak cukup untuk menjaga suatu relationship, hanya Allah-lah yg mampu. Ya, I did put my confidence in my love, not in Him.

Pengalaman ku berpacaran masa remaja, membuatku mampu bilang ke adik2ku di remaja …”mengapa sebaiknya tidak pacaran saat remaja, bukan karena cici jago secara teori, tapi karena cici pernah praktek secara langsung dan cici harus bayar mahal.”

Hancur-nya hatiku membuatku melihat mujizat Tuhan yg luar biasa – dari sebuah hati yg sepertinya tidak ada harapan untuk pulih, menjadi sebuah hati baru yg mampu mengasihi kembali. I said it again, for me, it’s a miracle.

Aku experienced setiap kata dari lagu “Sentuh Hatiku” *lagu2 di awal putus cinta*

Betapa ku mencintai segala yg tlah terjadi, tak pernah sendiri jalani hidup ini selalu menyertai.

Betapa ku menyadari, di dalam hidupku ini, Kau selalu memberi rancangan yg terbaik oleh karena kasih.

Bapa, sentuh hatiku, ubah hidupku menjadi yg baru, bagai emas yg murni Kau membentuk bejana hatiku

Bapa, ajar ku mengerti semua kasih yg selalu memberi, bagai air mengalir, yg tiada pernah berhenti.

Dan, kesempatan ku menjadi single lagi – adalah masa2 Tuhan menyatakan kembali nilai dirku di hadapanNya, siapa aku, dan apa yg Dia mau kerjakan dalam hidupku. *nah, ini juga kenapa, adik2ku sayang, kenapa cici anjurkan “jgn pacaran dulu skrg” – krn kalian butuh waktu tuk kenal dirimu …. * dan really, aku sangat bersyukur akan hal ini.

So, dear girls…..dimanapun posisi mu saat ini…

Entah kamu masi mampu berharap that your guy would be your first and last… bersyukurlah akan that privilege, ikuti waktu Tuhan karena saat ini adalah redeeming time, waktu yg tidak akan pernah kembali.

Atau…

Kamu baru saja mengucapkan “selamat jalan cita2ku” – ijinkan Tuhan masuk dalam hati-mu dan meng-operasi bagian terintim dalam hidup mu. Don’t let other man to fix your heart, it is His!

Here’s why = hanya Tuhan yg mampu mengobati hati kita, karena Dia lah yg created it. AND, you want to love your next guy with hatimu yg utuh – bukan dengan hatimu yg hancur. Kalo Justin Bieber bilang “I just need somebody to love!” yeah .. we need somebody to love, TAPI, dgn hati yg sudah mengampuni – dgn hati yg sudah dipulihkan – dgn hati yg siap tuk mengasihi dgn kasih yg murni.

It took me years ..haha (well, waktu semua orang tidak sama). Awal2, aku tutup hatiku – I let Him to operate it, and pada saat it’s ready – aku ikut maunya Dia – dan aku merasakan lagi indahnya mengasihi seperti cinta pertama…

(bahkan dengan lebih indah, karena hatiku semakin terasah to memancarkan kasih yg lebih murni *dan Allah tidak pernah berhenti bekerja, I constantly pray to Him to purify my heart so I could love unselfishly* )

Lupakan yg dunia bilang "satu2 caranya tuk melupakan mantan pacar adalah dengan mendapat pacar baru" -- itu berarti, kita membawa luka ke dalam suatu hubungan yg baru. You don't want that!

Really, girls, Dia mampu melakukan miracle dalam hati kita!! He is the Creator! And, ur man (ur future husband) deserves hati kita yg utuh dan yg sudah dipulihkan. It’s not his job, once again I would say, to fix your heart. Serahkan kepada ahlinya, the Creator!

Atau…

Kamu (seperti aku) sedang tahap mendoakan cowo kedua-mu, or ketiga, or seterusnya to be your last! Jadikan kegagalan / kesalahan / pengalaman kita to menjadi sthing really wonderful for our future. Don’t be afraid and ga perlu pula menyesali “kenapa aku bodoh dulu? Kenapa aku salah dulu?” – dan - marilah, ajarilah adik2 kita kegagalan / kesalahan / pengalaman kita. Karena, really, there are reasons mengapa kita harus mengalami itu semua, buat ku, salah satunya – supaya aku bisa share things kepada adik2ku yg kukasihi – dan nanti kelak ke anak2ku.

DAN …

Kalau kamu adalah anak2 sekolah minggu cici……………… Cerita2 ke cici ;) ayuk!

<3 All by His grace <3

God did meet my emotional needs

I always knew that God is everything I need. Including, meeting my emotional needs. But there was time when I was tempted to doubt – not that He could meet my needs or not, but was His time perfect?

We, girls, really know – how annoying and uncontrollable our emotions are sometimes! (Seriously, guys, we are much more frustrated than you are to understand "what’s going on with this emotion!". ‘Coz most of the time, we are clueless too.) When this crazy emotion took a lead, at least for me, my impatient spirit followed! I wanted to get over with this, right here – right now! I didn’t want to wait ‘til I clearly heard Him saying things. I demanded, "Lord, please take care of this emotion, I don’t like it. I don’t like crying for no reasons. Please, now! I don’t want to be seen as an annoying woman – being upset for nothing. NOW, please!"

In "Every Woman’s Battle", Shannon Ethridge wrote:

"The secret to ultimate emotional satisfaction is to pursue a mad, passionate love relationship with the One who made our hearts, the One who purifies our hearts, and the One who strengthens our hearts against worldly temptations. The secret is to focus your heart on your First Love.

God longs for you to be that consumed with Him. He wants your thought to turn to Him throughout the good and the bad days. He wants you to watch for Him expectantly, so that you sense Him beckoning you into His presences. He aches for you to call out to Him and listen for His loving reply."

I was on my good day when I read it, and I said joyfully, "Amen, Jesus, You are my First Love!! Thank You for satisfying my emotion ultimately." :D :D

But, fellas, there are good days, there are bad ones too. There are times when your emotions are rational – and seem to be under control. There are times when you have no idea what’s going in your mind, your heart and even your stomach! * I got stomachache easily when I am too emotional *

Several days ago, I was on my bad one >.<

It took several days to figure out "what did make me feel so bad?". I wanted Him to take care of my feelings right away, 'coz really I hated that!

I was getting frustrated and felt so helpless, and said to myself, "I am just far from being a mature woman, see?"

I started to ask, "You are able, right Lord, to handle this, and why don't You do anything? What's wrong with me?" - and I just got more frustrated >.<

* jadi inget lagunya Project Pop "Komplikasi (cape deh!)" - cocok banget "aku komplikasi - akunya frustasi - pala mumet2 - hati empet2" CAPE DEH!! *

Then I decided to fully surrender to Him - no longer trying to figure out by myself.

I asked Him, "Dear God, please do something! Ok, I am no longer insisting You to take care of me right here right now. Instead, I want to be silent and hear what You say. I want to hear You what next step I should take, and I want to follow You."

November 18th, 2010

And, believe me or not – He really did! He satisfied my soul and emotions too. He did guide me step by step in order to get over with my crazy emotions. Such as "read this book!", "hang out with your 'soon to be married' sister!", "go to sleep" and many more. And it was this morning; He concluded the series of His creative 'dealing with Eyn’s emotion' works.

He spoke clearly through devotion I read today - things that has been bugging my mind these days - He did answer my questions - things that I was clueless about!! and, I am finally could say, "AHA! So, that was the problem!"

He didn't satisfy my emotions immediately, no no.. 'coz He wanted me to learn through every process I went through 'til my emotion's satisfied and my question's answered. And He wanted me to see how creative He was, He amazed me!

"God is so patient as we learn to trust Him in the big and little things in life. And it's in our relationship with Him that we find the purpose, direction and meaning we're looking for." -Proverbs 31 Ministries Devotional-

Dear girlfriends, I didn't write to you what my problem was - and what His answer was! Nor, what did I emotionally feel about and why!

But, what I wanted to share with You is that He is truly able to satisfy our emotion needs at His perfect time. Test Him and try Him on this!

i am glad He allowed me to do the work!

October 25th 2010

Minggu lalu, aku sungguh berasa overwhelmed! - dgn begitu banyak hal yg aku harus kerjakan, juga secara emosi!- Ingin rasanya aku mundur dari segala sesuatu dan menjadi begitu egois.. "i want to do things for myself" - which actually gak salah juga, sekali2 kita butuh waktu untuk diri sendiri = "memanjakan" diri. Btw, dalam kamusku "memanjakan diri" berarti beristirahat, dan tidak melakukan apa2 on weekend *coz there is no way bisa do nothing on normal weekdayz*. Yg padahal adalah hal yg wajar2 aja, karena toh emang kita butuh istirahat!

Alarm -"cape"meter- ku itu sudah rusak dari bertahun2 yg lalu - aku tidak pernah sadar aku cape- sampe2 aku bisa nangis - or freak out - or demand everybody's attention over small things! ; itu berarti Erlyn sedang cape dan butuh istirahat! Aku baru sadar karena weekend kmrn itu aku merepotkan begitu banyak orang hanya to help me decide what dress I should wear to my friends' weddings! (yes, with s, i got 3 weddings last Sat). - itu hari Jumat- dan berlanjut Sabtu pagi, aku jadi "mengeluh" dan mempertanyakan banyak hal, "why me?!" "why should I do this?!" "I don't think I can do this!" "It's too much!" "I want to quit!" dan jadi berujung2, started to worry about other tasks and responsibilities yg masi menantiku, en "NOOOOOO~~~!!!"

Dan bersyukur tuk temanku yg meluruskan "otak"ku sedikit, she reminded me devotional we both read the previous day *ooh, how God has prepared me to face that day!* just DO THE WORK!

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1 Chronicles 28:20 "Be strong and courageous and do the work. Don't be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you."

Whenever I started to get discouraged or overwhelmed by the hugeness of the task, I reminded myself: Do the work—three little words that got me through one of the biggest challenges of my life. Perhaps you need to hear those three little words today.

Make no mistake: sometimes the work will be hard. Note that our verse today didn't say "Lay around and hope things get better." The challenge we face is not in focusing on how hard the work is, but in seeking the God who has promised to show up as we work. We offer our best efforts and trust that He will multiply them. We will see Him supply the words, the resources, the energy, the time, the patience, the grace we need. But first we must do the work. Just like the priests had to first step into the water before the Jordan could part in Joshua 3:15-16, so we must begin working before we can see the solution appear.

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(From Proverbs 31 Ministries' Devotional by Marybeth Whalen "Do The Work")

I was about to change my facebook's status to be "I am officially exhausted and burnt out" that morning, and I was glad I didn't! 'coz last Saturday turned out to be "I love what I am doing" day.. dan aku melihat bahwa tidak hanya aku suka apa yg aku kerjakan *dan aku sangat bersyukur aku mengerjakannya*, tapi He was the source of my strength. Oh yeah, aku tidak dalam keadaan 100% fit to be honest with you, tapi aku sungguh merasakan betapa He supplied the words, the resources, the energy, the time, the patience, the grace I needed that day~ So, really.. it's not because of me..! Not so I can boast about my abilities, but so I can boast in Him. It's Him who is faithful to His words that all I need to do is DO THE WORK, and let Him take care of other things!

That day, I was really thankful kalo aku luar biasa cape, yet I kept doing the work, coz He reminded me once again.. a prayer I once prayed to Him 3 years ago *i had it on my blog* :

Lord, help me to remember it’s not by my power, nor by my might, but by Your spirit that I accomplish anything worthwhile.