The Step

I forgot ... in 2005, berapa bulan aku bergumul setiap hari dengan pertanyaan (dan pilihan)...

~ mau akselerasi 3 tahun? ~ 3.5 tahun? ~ 4 tahun? ~ bikin skripsi or abisin credit dengan ambil kelas semua ~ kerja jepang or indo?

fyi, aku harus took the decision (karena satu dan lain hal) pada tahun ke 2 kuliah.. *yes, exactly, ketika aku ga tau apa yg terbaik untukku saat itu.

Dan jreng2, setelah setiap hari bergumul, I decided aku tetap kuliah 4 tahun, termasuk skripsi -- (tuk menikmati masa2 ku di jepang, sebelum kembali ke Indo...)

Aku berencana 'tuk tetap abisin semua kredit di 3 tahun awal. Sehingga pada tahun ke 4, aku bisa stay di Jepang, cuma untuk kerja part time sambil menunggu graduation.

Dan apakah itu yang terjadi? Ga tuh! Aku di jepang hanya 3 tahun 2 bulan, karena popo-ku sakit keras (kanker!). So, begitu aku beresin semua kredit-ku..aku pulang Indo! Waktuku cuma 1 minggu saat itu, untuk packing semua barang (untuk FOR GOOD! mendadak)...dan farewell dengan teman yg sedombreng banyaknya! Seminggu sebelum pulang Indo setelah aku ujian.. aku harus say bye2 dengan semua bossku tempatku bekerja part time (I worked di 3 tempat yg berbeda), tiap hari pulang malam karena tiap hari farewell dengan teman yg berbeda.. dan tetap harus packing malamnya! It was a crazy week... tapi I was glad, I did come home early. It gave more time to spend with my grannie on her last days on earth.

Rencanaku adalah rencanaku, tapi Tuhan bilang lain. Sebulan setelah aku pulang Indo, my grannie passed away. 1 month after that, I had started to work! Real job! (sambil kerjain skripsi), and I went back to Japan, only to attend my graduation.

Kenapa aku ceritain ini semua?

Dalam banyak kondisi dimana aku harus mengambil keputusan besar, seringkali aku berharap...

"Tuhan!!! Could u just tell me what your plan is? And I will just FOLLOW YOU with all my heart" Karena deep inside my heart, I know that God's plan is always the best for me.. Though, sejujurnya alasanku mau ngomong itu adalah, "Tuhan...eyn takut kalo eyn salah ambil keputusan.. dan salah jalan... cemeyangpan?????!!!"

And..pada saat ini, ketika aku harus dihadapi dengan choices... I, once again, said it to Him!

But I know that in my life, I do need to take part. I am the one who has to take the decision. To take the step of faith.

Hampir semua hal dalam hidup kita, kita harus memilih! *Kecuali tentunya, kita tidak memilih lahir di keluarga mana. Or..hmm pas TK juga kita ga pilih masuk TK mana, ortu kita memilihkan untuk kita.

Semakin besar though, seiring dengan semakin besarnya tanggungjawab kita.. again I would say it.. we are the one to choose! To take that first step to our next journey! A step of faith!

Beberapa bulan belakangan ini, aku "uring2an", yang setiap hari memikirkan setiap goods and bads 'tuk setiap options yg ada! Aku yang "Tuhan, let me intip sedikit kehidupanku in the future, biar bisa tau pilih yang mana........."

and today..tiba2 aku ingat kembali bulan2 di tahun 2005 itu. Dimana I was extremely clueless about my future. Yet, I am here now.. in a much better version of me than I ever could imagine.

And I do really think, at this very moment, walau aku ga tau anything about my future dan aku seakan ga bertenaga tuk berpikir langkah mana yang harus kuambil.. Tuhan begitu setia dengan mengingatkanku tentang perbuatanNya di masa lalu dan pimpinanNya dalam hidupku sampai saat ini.

Dia Allah yang setia!

Ketika Dia membiarkan kita memilih. Dia memberi kita hikmat 'tuk menjalankan hal itu.

I always like this verse = If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and He will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. James 1:5

Ooooh, how we need wisdom! and what we can do? We simply need to ask Him!

Dan aku belajar satu hal, keterbatasanku tuk mengetahui masa depanku membuatku bergantung sepenuhnya pada Dia. Membuatku tidak berdaya! Dan aku suka dengan ke-tidak berdaya-an. Aku suka ke-tergantungan! Karena aku pasrah kepada Tangan yang tepat. Kepada Tangan yang tidak akan membiarkanku jatuh. Kepada Tangan yang memegang erat masa depanku. Dan bukan hanya janji palsu, Dia sudah membuktikannya dalam hidupku sampai saat ini.

"But I am trusting You, O Lord, saying, 'You are my GOD'. My future is in Your hands."

Lord, I know, most of the time in my life. I need to take a step of faith.

Sometimes, it is only a simple stuff, which road I take (literally, road di jakarta misalnya tuk menghindari macet).

Sometimes, it is very BIG......... which road I take too (though this time, it is a road that defines my future!).

But dear God, always remind me, that nothing is too big for You. And moreover, You got the bigger picture. Thing that is so big for me, it's nothing for You.

Though I am the one to take that step! The step, God! But dear God, always remind me, that You hold my hands while I take the step. I will never be alone.

You are here with me now. You are with me along the way. You are there waiting for me at the end of the road.

Lord, You hear my heart shouting for You. Shouting, "I surrender! ~~ grant me wisdom. I believe in You, that the answers will come out from the heaven at the very right time when I need them!"

There!!! I have taken my very first step, to surrender and wait for Him for the answers.

Lies Women Believe

When I first decided to buy and ordered this book, I never knew I would need the book this much. This book is really another "how God truly meet what I need at the right time" experience.

I don't know what lies you've been believing, girls. Whether you still lives in lies or you have experienced the truth that set you free, this book is worth to read. To help you break the bondage, through the Word and His Spirit. And, to help others you know still struggle with their bondage.

God bless you, precious daughter of the King! -eyn-

by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

But for women, there is a disconnection between what they know intellectually and what they feel to be true. And therein lies one of our problems: We trust what we feel to be true, rather than what we know to be true.

The truth is, God does love us. Whether or not we feel loved, regardless of what we have done or where we have come from, He loves us with an infinite, incomprehensible love.

He loves me-because He is love. His love for me is not based on anything I have ever done or ever could do for Him. It is not based on my performance. I do not deserve His love and could never earn it.

The God of the Bible is a compassionaate, tender, merciful Father. That doesn't mean He gives us everything we want - no wise father would give his children everything they want. It doesn't mean we can always understand His decisions - He is far too great for that. It doesn't mean He never allows us to suffer pain - in fact, at times, He actually inflicts pain and hardship upon us. Why? Because He loves us. Because He cares about us. Because He is committed to us. Hebrews tells us, "God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness"

The problem is that our view of ourselves and our sense of worth are often determined by the input and opinions of others. Sometimes the input of others is accurate and helpful. But not always. If, for some reason, the person we are listening to is looking through a defective "lens", his or her vision will be distorted. Some of us have lived all our lives in an emotional prison because we have accepted what a false, "broken" mirror said to us about ourselves.

The deepest longings of our hearts cannot be filled by any created person or thing. Every created thing is guaranteed to disappoint us. Things can burn or break or be stolen or get lost. People can move or change or fail or die. I would always live in a state of disappointment if I was looking to people to satisfy me at the core of my being.

The truth is that all I have to do is the work God assigns to me. What a freedom it has been for me to accept that there is time for me to do everything that is on God’s “to do” list for my day, for my week, and for my life!

The frustration comes when I attempt to take on responsibilities that are not on His agenda for me. When I establish my own agenda or let others determine the priorities for my life, rather than taking time to discern what it is that God wants me to do, I end up buried under piles of half-finished, poorly done, or never-attempted projects and tasks. I live with guilt, frustration, and haste, rather than enjoying the peaceful, well-ordered life that He intends.

Frustration is the by-product of attempting to fulfill responsibilities God does not intend for us to carry. Freedom, joy, and fruitfulness come from seeking to determine God’s priorities for each season of life, and then setting out to fulfill those priorities, in the power of His Spirit, realizing that He has provided necessary time and ability to do everything that He has called us to do.

The truth is that marriage is good and right, that it is God’s plan for most people, and that there can (and ought to) be great joy and blessing in the context of a God-centered marriage. Satan twist the Truth about marriage by suggesting to women that the purpose of marriage is personal happiness and fulfillment, and that they cannot be truly happy without a husband to love them and meet their needs.

The truth is that the ultimate purpose of marriage is not to make us happy, but to glorify God.

The truth is that God has promised to give us everything we need, and if He knows a husband would make it possible for us to bring greater glory to Him, then He will provide a husband.

The truth is that those who insist on having their own way often end up with unnecessary heartache, while those who wait on the Lord always get His best.

Many Christian wives do not realize that they have two powerful “weapons” available to them that are far more effective than nagging, whining, or preaching. The first weapon is a godly life, which God often uses in a man’s life to create conviction and spiritual hunger. (1 Peter 3:1-4)

The second weapon is prayer. When a wife consistently points out the things she wishes her husband would change, she is likely to make him defensive and resistant. But when she takes her concerns to the Lord, she is appealing to a higher power to act in her husband’s life – and it’s a lot harder for a man to resist God than to resist a nagging wife!

Mary was a woman who knew how to keep things in her heart and ponder them. (Luke 2:19) She could afford to wait and be quite because she knew the power of God and trusted Him to fulfill His plans for her life and her family.

If we as women focus on what we “deserve”, on our “rights”, or on what men “ought” to do for us, we will become vulnerable to hurt and resentment when our expectations are not fulfilled. Blessing and joy are the fruit of seeking to be a giver rather than a taker and of looking for ways to bless, serve, and minister to the needs of our families.

I have discovered that the fundamental issue in the relation to submission really comes down to my willingness to trust God and to place myself under His authority. When I am willing to obey Him, I find it is not nearly so difficult or threatening to submit to the human authorities He has placed in my life.

God said that man needs a helper. The true woman celebrates this calling and becomes affirming rather than adversarial, compassionate rather than controlling, a partner rather than a protagonist. She becomes substantively rather than superficially submissive.

The true woman is not afraid to place herself in a position of submission. She does not have to grasp; she does not have to control. Her fear dissolves in the light of God’s covenant promise to be her God and to live within her. Submission is simply a demonstration of her confidence in the sovereign power of the Lord God. Submission is a reflection of her redemption.

I can’t help but wonder to what extent we women have demotivated and emasculated the men around us by our quickness to take the reins rather than waiting on the Lord to move men to action. We can so easily strip men of the motivation to rise to the challenge and provide the necessary leadership. To make matters worse, when they do take action, the women they look to for encouragement and affirmation correct them or tell them how they could have done it better.

What can free us from the drive to control the men in our lives? We must learnt to wait on the Lord; in His time, and in His way, He will act on behalf of those who wait for Him.

God uses the rough edges of each partner in a marriage to conform the other to the image of Christ. Your mate’s weaknesses can become a tool in God’s hand to make you into the women He created you to be.

Love is not a feeling; it is a commitment to act in the best interests of another.

Regardless of what emotions are whirling around inside, by God’s grace, we can choose to fix our minds on Him and to “trust and obey”. When we do, we will experience His peace and the grace to be faithful, even though our circumstances may not change.

We must choose, without any regard to the state of our emotions, what attitude our will will take toward God. We must recognize that our emotions are only the servants of our will. Our will can control our feelings if only we are steadfastly minded to do so. Many times when my feelings have declared contrary to the facts, I have changed those feelings entirely by a steadfast assertion of their opposite.

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee. Because he trusteth in thee. Isaiah 26:3

Certainly what happens in our bodies does affect us emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually. We cannot isolate these various dimensions of who we are – they are inseparably intertwined. But we fall into the trap of the enemy when we justify fleshly, sinful attitudes and responses based on our physical condition on hormonal changes.

But every monthly cycle is also a reminder that God made us women, and that which our womanhood comes the capacity for being a bearer and nurturer of life. Even as a single woman, I find this to be gracious and valuable reminder of who I am, why God created me, and how I can best glorify Him here on this earth.

Do not look forward to the changes and chances of this life in fear; rather look to them with full hope that, as they arise, God, whose you are, will deliver you out of them. He has kept you hither-to, - do you but hold fast to His dear hand, and He will lead you safely through all things; and, when you cannot stand, He will bear you in His arms… The same everlasting Father who cares for you today, will take care of you to-morrow, and every day. Either He will shield you from suffering, or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace then, and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations. –Francis de Sales-

Regardless of how we are feeling or what we are going through, our immediate response should be to turn to the Lord. Whether we are prospering or suffering, happy or sad, healthy or sick – before we do anything else, we should acknowledge God’s presence and ask Him to walk with us through the experience, to direct us in responding to the circumstances, and to provide His resources to deal with the situation.

When it comes to dealing with our emotions, we must remember that “feeling good” is not the ultimate objective in the Christian’s life. God does not promise that those who walk with Him will be free from all difficult emotions. In fact, as long as we are in these bodies, we will experience varying degrees of pain and distress. The real focus of our lives must not be changing or “fixing” things to make ourselves feel better but on the glory of God and His redemptive purpose in the world. Everything else in expendable. True joy comes from abandoning ourselves to that end.

God is far more interested in our holiness than in our immediate, temporal happiness – He knows that apart from being holy, we can never be truly happy.

True joy is not the absence of pain but the sanctifying, sustaining presence of the Lord Jesus in the midst of the pain.

His grace is sufficient to deal with the memories, wounds, and failures of the most scarred or sordid past.

The only way to experience true freedom and peace is to let go of the reins – to relinquish all control to God, believing that He can be trusted to manage all that concerns us.

FEAR FACTOR

Selama 2 bulan pake kawat gigi, aku ga pernah setakut ini kontrol ke dokter gigi.

Karena hari itu -- aku harus cabut gigi >.<

Luckily, aku datang dgn sepupu'ku -- yg juga mau pasang kawat. *jadi ada teman sengsara*

Dia dcabut 3. Aku cuma 2. Hore :D *cabutnya 1-1 kok*

Walau cuma 2 - namanya cabut mah, sakit sakit aja. Aku takkkkuuuttt luar biasa, to be honest with you~ tapi aku sok tegar, kenapa? JAIM donk, karena aku bawa dede sepupu yg jauh lebiiiiiiiiiiih takut dari aku!

Dan takutnya real bgt, ga kayak aku. Masi sok tegar and cool!

Bibirnya bergetar. Begitu juga tangan dan kaki-nya~ Pertama, I thought it was kinda cute.

Tapi lama2 .. "Ciiii, aku takut banget. Aku takut banget!" *dah mana, papa mama nya ga ikut. Jadi si cici lah yg harus menenangkan si dede* Ga tega banget.. :$

Dalam hati yg, "Duiillah, cici juga takut banget nih!"

Tapi naluri ke-cici-an langsung keluar ... dan bilang "De, tenang saja. Cabut gigi tidak sesakit yang kamu bayangkan. Jarum itu pun tidak semengerikan yang kamu bayangkan. Yang membuat kamu takut sekali hanyalah pemikiran kamu. Tenang saja, dokter ini dah biasa kok. Percaya :)"

Akirnya setelah bbrp menit, dia berhasil tenang... en CABUTZ!!

Dan tibalah, giliran cici!

Oh yeah, baby, aku harus makan omonganku sendiri!

I speak to myself -- "Ini tidak semengerikan yang aku bayangkan!"

At that moment, I realized one thing dalam hidupku...

Seringkaliiii ............ aku membayangkan sesuatu lebiiiiiiih dari kenyataannya.

Yang membuatku TAKUT - KUATIR berlebihan.

Aku ga pernah ngerti, kenapa dede2ku suka banget nonton SpongeBob! Sampai one day -- aku nonton cuma 3 menit menemani mereka. Dan ternyata, karena lucu~ :D

Ceritanya gini.. Spongebob and Patrick lagi mau pegi ke theme park. (yoi, di bawah laut). One ride yg mereka takutin banget adalah roller coaster. (oooh, I truly understand them :$)

Sampe2 - sblm mereka actually pegi ke theme park itu, SpongeBob mimpi ... mimpinya adalah -----

mulai dari kereta itu berjalan -------- naik ke puncak tertinggi ---- turun dengan kecepatan super cepat ------ and deng, rel-nya rusak ---- tiba2 Spongebob dan Patrick terlempar --- kemana? --- ke liang kubur yg 2-2nya udah ada namanya, nama mereka b2 --

Aku ketawa super ngakak ..... pas itu!! I was like "I could relate..I could relate"

Esok harinya, bener2 nih mereka naek ride-nya! *hebat juga, dah mimpi buruk gt, masi tetep naek! haha*

And, u could guess the ending..

Turun ride-nya... They danced "We didn't die.. we didn't die!"

Ooh, how I could relate, really! I have experienced it myself.

Disneysea - Tower of Terror ... (itu loooh, yg kita di angkat ke atas setinggi-nya terus dibuang ke bawah >.<)

Dari awal, setelah my cousin and my boyfriend looked very excited mau naik *it was the only ride they really looked forward buat naek, malah*... aku dah super stresss... and literally -- jantung berdebar2 ga berhenti.

Makin parah -- pas ngantri -- the whole 2 hours, aku pucat pasi -- dan takuuuuuuuuuttttt luar biasa! :$

Aku berharap -- "coba aku ga sok jago".. kayak uncle-ku yg tunggu di luar ... dengan alasan "ah, ngapain ngantri 2 jam..? gue nonton parade aja!" padahal takuut tuh :p

Sepanjang ride -- aku tutup mata! Dtambah mengerikan -- some japanese girls di belakang teriak kenceng bgt "Yameetteeeeeee --- yabaiii yabaaaiiiii" artinya "stop it stop it .. parah parah.. gawat!"

See? I was the only rider with closed eyes :$

And, setelah turun .. apa yg aku rasakan...?!

"Ooh, gitu doank toh? Kapan2 bole lagi!!!" *Yeeee? Emang Chiba deket, lyn?*

THE TERROR BEHIND ME >.<

Alrite, I might berhasil mengalahkan ketakutanku dgn tetep sok jago naek Tower of Terror!

Tapi -- kebahagiaan-ku berkurang! Aku takut sepanjang ride!

and.. I missed the most beautiful part! Saat we're on the top of the tower -- itu adalah saat u should have your eyes wide opened. To see the beauty of Disney Sea! And, me? Because of my super tiny heart, I closed my eyes -- and wished "segeralah berakhir"

Dari dokter gigi - Spongebob dan Tower of Terror..

aku realized that --

seringkali kekuatiranku dan ketakutanku mengurangi SUKACITA (the thrill from Tower of Terror) dgn sempurna. dan BLESSINGS (the beauty of Disneysea) yg sudah Tuhan sediakan di depan sana.

Jim Elliot tulis ini dalam suratnya ke Elisabeth Elliot,

Ingatlah bawah bayangan suatu benda sering melampau ukuran benda itu sendiri (apalagi jika cahayanya begitu rendah pada horizon) dan meskipun sebagian ketakutan terhadap masa depan mungkin akan memamerkan kegelapannya yg mengerikan saat kau mendekatinya, tapi semuanya itu hanya sebuah bintik (a speck) saat dilihat dr seberang. Oh, kiranya Ia sering memulihkan kita dengan "aspek (aspect) dr sebrang" untuk melihat sesuatu sebagaimana Ia melihatnya, untuk mengingat bahwa Ia berelasi dengan kita bagaikan dengan anak2Nya.

Oke -- Tower of Terror might be just a little thing --

tapi seberapa sering, kekuatiran kita akan hari depan membuat kita ga mampu melangkah, bahkan mundur?

Or seandainya, dengan berani kita tetap melangkah pun, tidak ada sukacita along the way? Karena kita masi memegang teguh kuatir dan takut kita - dan belum menyerah~

"Serahkanlah kekuatiranmu kepadaNya, sebab Ia memelihara kamu." begitu kata Rasul Petrus.

Entah itu a new job, moving out, a new relationship, a new step of relationship, graduate school -- or any decision yg saat ini sedang kita gumulkan (baca= takutkan). If God clearly says "GO!"

Don't let your fear and worries hold you back!

There are joy and blessings God has provided, you just need to take a step.

Dan terlebih, Dia jelas tahu apa yg akan kita lalui.

*bukan berarti kita selonong boy - ga berhikmat ya! Kalo dah jelas2, begitu ada orang teriak, kita kaget, pingsan. Itu berarti jantung ga kuat! Jangan sok2 jago naek roller coaster! *

Tapi, kalo ketakutan itu hanya krn pemikiran kita yg terlalu kreatif.. mari serahkan kepada sang Ahli tuk mengubahnya menjadi damai sejati!

Again, Filipi 4:6-7 :) Let Him work in you!

Oh btw, buat Anda sang Pemberani - jangan juga anggap ketakutan seseorang itu hal yg kecil loh :$ krn most of the time, we are really freaking scared! >.< Don't laugh at us! Understand and encourage us..

It takes a courage sometimes to tell how scared we are! We need someone to have sympathy.

Once, ketika aku shared ke anak2 remaja, bgmana aku takut bgt naek roller coaster. One teenage boy said this "I prayed before I took the ride ci. Awalnya aku takut banget, setelah itu, gak lagi :)". What an encouragement!!

Let's have a super joy and super peace along the ride with the Lord!

He's the one who has the complete picture, and after all - He is in control! Trust Him! *as I trusted the dentist and Disney sea :$*

We are just to enjoy the ride! :D :D

say NO to sin and RUN!

Run!

Don't turn off the road of goodness; keep away from evil paths (Proverbs 4:27, NCV).

At the close of the sermon, a church member came forward to speak with the pastor. He was very upset because of the sin in his life and his blatant disobedience to God. With tears streaming down his face, the repentant man took the pastor’s hand to confess that his life was full of sin, but what came out was, “My sin is full of life.” I can relate.

I don’t know about you, but my sin is definitely “full of life.” I am always amused but also saddened by people who think that just because I am in full time ministry, I am holier than they are, better than they are or don’t have to battle sin like they do. Just ask my husband and children. They will blow that theory right out of the water. I’m just thankful our cats can’t talk! The fact is, as long as I live in this fallen world and sport this frail humanity, I will wrestle with sin.

However, I have refined several tactics for dealing with my sinful nature. Rationalization is one of my personal favorites. And there is always the handy comparison ploy – measuring my sin against the sin of another. At times, I subscribe to the popular “bury it and hope it will go away” tactic. The reality is that nothing satisfies the payment sin demands except the blood of Jesus Christ and my response to His sacrifice in true, unadulterated repentance - on my face before my Holy God.

When we turn our lives over to God, He sets our feet on the right path. But to stay on that path requires a continual choice to run from sin. With our flawed choices, we take side trips, create detours and wind up on the wrong road headed in the wrong direction. Solomon warns us to stay away from evil paths. “Don't turn off the road of goodness; keep away from evil paths” (Proverbs 4:27, NLT). “Keep away” literally means “to turn aside or drag from.” In other words, when we see sin or even the opportunity to sin, we should turn around and run in the opposite direction. We should “drag ourselves” away from sin. What do we do instead? We flirt with sin. We want to be delivered from temptation but would really like to keep in touch. We pray for God to “lead us not into temptation” and then deliberately place ourselves in its path. In our arrogance, we think we can handle sin and the temptation to sin on our own. That very attitude is an open invitation for the enemy, daring him to take his best shot.

My husband, Dan, was the pastor of Flamingo Road Church in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, for many years. A man of great wisdom, Dan was adamant about the fact that neither he nor his staff should ever put themselves in a situation that flirted with sin or made it easier to sin. Solid wooden office doors were replaced with glass doors. No pastor was allowed to meet with a woman for any reason unless one of the other staff members was present. A staff counselor was hired to handle anyone needing more than one counseling session. The staff often went to lunch following their regular Tuesday morning staff meeting and even though the restaurant was literally across the street from the church, no man was allowed to ride alone with a woman. Sound ridiculous? Seem absurd? Not at all! Dan simply refused to provide ammunition for the enemy. The bottom line is that it’s foolish and dangerous to flirt with sin.

There is no holding pattern for believers nor can we live in a neutral state. We are either going forward or backward. We are either being renewed or consumed. Friend, do not relinquish any more life territory to the enemy. Run from sin!

Let’s Pray

Father, forgive me for the sin in my life. Right now, I choose to turn away from that sin. I turn to You, Lord. I know that I am lost and totally helpless without You. Thank You for the unconditional love and unending forgiveness that I find in You.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

Now it’s your turn

Read 1 Corinthians 10:13. “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it” (NIV).

Consider the following promises found in 1 Corinthians 10:13. What do they mean to you and how do they apply to your life?

• No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind.
• God is faithful.
• He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.
• He will provide a way out.

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From: Girlfriends in God, "Run", by Mary Southerland

when God brings back my past

April 6th, 2011

Are u familiar with “I hope he is my first and my last”, girls? I believe most of us ever had that thought! At least, I did!

Krn, tentu-nya pada umumnya, ketika kita commit tuk menjalani suatu hubungan, kita berharap kalo the relationship will last.. *I am talking about serious relationship * I am pretty sure, kita ga ada rencana putus!

But, the thing is tidak semua orang berkesempatan menikah dgn her first boyfriend.

Tidak semua orang berkesempatan mengetahui (dan mengerti) sejak dia kecil – ketika apa yg namanya “cinta” sudah mulai menaburkan benihnya di hati – bahwa pacaran itu untuk something serious – bukan hanya sekedar “teman saya sudah punya pacar, saya juga harus!” – or - bukan karena “kalo saya tidak pacaran, tar dipikir saya tidak laku, so lebih baik saya terima siapapun yg nembak saya” – atau - “masa saya harus sendirian pas attend sweet 17th party or prom nite?” – ataupun – karena “kata orang, hidup hanya sekali, jadi explore lah selagi kamu bisa, toh ga ada ruginya pacaran”.

Tidak semua orang berkesempatan diajarkan ataupun mendengar pengalaman pahit dari orang yg lebih tua bahwa “pacaran hanya dengan fondasi suka sama suka (baca = cinta sejati) itu tetap ada kesempatan putus” … dan tidak semua orang, for sure, mengetahui dari awal bahwa yg dibilang “lebih baik sakit gigi daripada sakit hati” itu adalah FAKTA!

Ya, beberapa orang, atau mungkin sebagian besar orang menikah dengan pacar-nya yg kesekian.

*Untuk-ku pribadi tentunya, I hope he is my second and my last. *

Bagiku, “berkesempatan” saying “he was my first and certainly not my last” adalah masa2 pergumulan dan kehancuran terhebat *sejauh ini* setelah kematian my grannie.

Seminggu belakangan ini, karena satu hal, membuat pikiranku cukup kacau ttg my relationship skrg *dan actually, membuat hatiku cukup sakit*, not being able to share my feelings with anyone,

(“Many times I have been forced to my knees, realizing there was no other place to go”. –Abraham Lincoln-)

aku menuangkan hatiku dan menceritakan semuanya ke Tuhan – dari yg tidak tau apa2 *mengapa, apa dan bagaimana”, pelan-pelan dia bukakan “what’s actually going on with me?”

it’s not that my relationship was in trouble, tapi justru karena my relationship skrg is such a blessing, and I thank about it everyday-lah, aku jadi "kacau".

Then, aku realized, yg membuat-ku luar biasa kacau, adalah karena aku takut gagal! Aku takut kalo segala sesuatu yg indah harus berakhir dst… PARNO abiz :$ aku yang “huhu, mengapa harus ada yg namanya kegagalan di masa lalu? Kalo harus gagal, mengapa aku harus pacaran at the first place“

I felt helpless, I shouted… “I NEED HELP!!”

And what amazing God He is, saat itu juga, aku buka “My Utmost for His Highest”, and u wouldn’t believe what’s written there……

Never be afraid when God brings back your past. Let your memory have its way with you. It is a minister of God bringing its rebuke and sorrow to you. God will turn what might have been into a wonderful lesson of growth for the future.

-----

Seketika itu juga, badaiku Dia tenangkan.. Dia, Allah yg menjawab kegalauan hatiku when I needed it the most – Dia reminded me once again, "everything is under My control, Eyn!"

Dear, girls, of course, “sepertinya” semua akan lebih indah – bila tidak pernah ada yg namanya hancur hati karena putus cinta, namun bukan berarti hidup kita akan hancur berantakan, dan kita tidak akan punya next relationship yg jauh lebih indah.

*aku bilang “sepertinya”, karena aku tidak lagi mengerti apa itu rasanya kalo aku tidak pernah mengalami patah hati, yg ku rasakan saat ini adalah Tuhan sungguh bekerja luar biasa sepanjang hidupku – walau aku tidak berkesempatan to have my first boyfriend to be my last. *

Mungkin saja, seandainya saat itu (13 tahun yang lalu), aku tidak membiarkan perasaan hati bergejolak menguasai pikiranku *kalo P. Tong bilang – pacaran masa remaja adalah pacaran paling murni, karena mereka hanya lihat cinta, bukan karir, bukan kedudukan, bukan materi. Dan aku meng-AMIN-i hal itu* -- seandainya saat itu, aku bisa konsul dulu ke hamba Tuhan – or seandainya saat itu, aku taat ke mama “masi kecil, jangan pacaran dulu!” – mungkin aku tidak perlu mengalami hancur hati!

BUT GOD, Dia Allah yang bekerja dalam segala sesuatu * baik dalam kesalahanku * untuk mendatangkan kebaikan bagiku.(Roma 8:28)

I am not suggesting you to “kalo gitu, coba aja, pacaran lah – toh kalo salah, Tuhan bekerja kok!!!” NO!!!!

yg aku mau katakan adalah, walaupun kita gagal – selalu ada yg Tuhan mampu kerjakan tuk mendatangkan kebaikan bagi kita.

Yes, ada kesalahan, ada konsekuensi, ada sakit parah~~! Tapi ketika kita mau bertekuk lutut – menyerah di hadapan Tuhan, Dia akan mengganti tangis kita menjadi sukacita besar.

Kegagalanku membuatku menyadari – bahwa cinta yg murni sekalipun tidak cukup untuk menjaga suatu relationship, hanya Allah-lah yg mampu. Ya, I did put my confidence in my love, not in Him.

Pengalaman ku berpacaran masa remaja, membuatku mampu bilang ke adik2ku di remaja …”mengapa sebaiknya tidak pacaran saat remaja, bukan karena cici jago secara teori, tapi karena cici pernah praktek secara langsung dan cici harus bayar mahal.”

Hancur-nya hatiku membuatku melihat mujizat Tuhan yg luar biasa – dari sebuah hati yg sepertinya tidak ada harapan untuk pulih, menjadi sebuah hati baru yg mampu mengasihi kembali. I said it again, for me, it’s a miracle.

Aku experienced setiap kata dari lagu “Sentuh Hatiku” *lagu2 di awal putus cinta*

Betapa ku mencintai segala yg tlah terjadi, tak pernah sendiri jalani hidup ini selalu menyertai.

Betapa ku menyadari, di dalam hidupku ini, Kau selalu memberi rancangan yg terbaik oleh karena kasih.

Bapa, sentuh hatiku, ubah hidupku menjadi yg baru, bagai emas yg murni Kau membentuk bejana hatiku

Bapa, ajar ku mengerti semua kasih yg selalu memberi, bagai air mengalir, yg tiada pernah berhenti.

Dan, kesempatan ku menjadi single lagi – adalah masa2 Tuhan menyatakan kembali nilai dirku di hadapanNya, siapa aku, dan apa yg Dia mau kerjakan dalam hidupku. *nah, ini juga kenapa, adik2ku sayang, kenapa cici anjurkan “jgn pacaran dulu skrg” – krn kalian butuh waktu tuk kenal dirimu …. * dan really, aku sangat bersyukur akan hal ini.

So, dear girls…..dimanapun posisi mu saat ini…

Entah kamu masi mampu berharap that your guy would be your first and last… bersyukurlah akan that privilege, ikuti waktu Tuhan karena saat ini adalah redeeming time, waktu yg tidak akan pernah kembali.

Atau…

Kamu baru saja mengucapkan “selamat jalan cita2ku” – ijinkan Tuhan masuk dalam hati-mu dan meng-operasi bagian terintim dalam hidup mu. Don’t let other man to fix your heart, it is His!

Here’s why = hanya Tuhan yg mampu mengobati hati kita, karena Dia lah yg created it. AND, you want to love your next guy with hatimu yg utuh – bukan dengan hatimu yg hancur. Kalo Justin Bieber bilang “I just need somebody to love!” yeah .. we need somebody to love, TAPI, dgn hati yg sudah mengampuni – dgn hati yg sudah dipulihkan – dgn hati yg siap tuk mengasihi dgn kasih yg murni.

It took me years ..haha (well, waktu semua orang tidak sama). Awal2, aku tutup hatiku – I let Him to operate it, and pada saat it’s ready – aku ikut maunya Dia – dan aku merasakan lagi indahnya mengasihi seperti cinta pertama…

(bahkan dengan lebih indah, karena hatiku semakin terasah to memancarkan kasih yg lebih murni *dan Allah tidak pernah berhenti bekerja, I constantly pray to Him to purify my heart so I could love unselfishly* )

Lupakan yg dunia bilang "satu2 caranya tuk melupakan mantan pacar adalah dengan mendapat pacar baru" -- itu berarti, kita membawa luka ke dalam suatu hubungan yg baru. You don't want that!

Really, girls, Dia mampu melakukan miracle dalam hati kita!! He is the Creator! And, ur man (ur future husband) deserves hati kita yg utuh dan yg sudah dipulihkan. It’s not his job, once again I would say, to fix your heart. Serahkan kepada ahlinya, the Creator!

Atau…

Kamu (seperti aku) sedang tahap mendoakan cowo kedua-mu, or ketiga, or seterusnya to be your last! Jadikan kegagalan / kesalahan / pengalaman kita to menjadi sthing really wonderful for our future. Don’t be afraid and ga perlu pula menyesali “kenapa aku bodoh dulu? Kenapa aku salah dulu?” – dan - marilah, ajarilah adik2 kita kegagalan / kesalahan / pengalaman kita. Karena, really, there are reasons mengapa kita harus mengalami itu semua, buat ku, salah satunya – supaya aku bisa share things kepada adik2ku yg kukasihi – dan nanti kelak ke anak2ku.

DAN …

Kalau kamu adalah anak2 sekolah minggu cici……………… Cerita2 ke cici ;) ayuk!

<3 All by His grace <3

'til He completes...

April 2nd, 2011

Beberapa hari yg lalu, I asked my friend how she was - and she replied "I am much better, Lyn, and spt yg lu doain ke gue - Tuhan will continue the good work within me yg He has started at the first place. Thanks, Lyn!"

Yup, aku sering sekali quote ayat ini:

"And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." Philippians 1:6 ... ketika aku mendoakan orang lain - or memimpin doa bersama2, karena ayat ini juga yg berulang kali aku doakan ketika hatiku mulai goyah di tengah2 perjalananku *dalam banyak area*

Then, aku berpikir ... "Wih bener yah, ayat ini emang dahsyat !! Asik bener emang krn Tuhan ga akan stop sampe kerjaan dalam hidupku tuntas! Bisa tenang bgt deh! :D"

lalu aku mulai melihat2 kamar2 dalam hidupku "is it really true, semuanya baik2 saja? does God really work in my life?"

- pekerjaan - family - finances - relationships - ministries - dreams and so on -

semakin aku merenung, kalo hatiku ibaratnya bunga yg sedang mekar -- tiba2 layu.

Boro2 semuanya baik2 saja, yg ada aku struggle everyday *begitu pikirku* keadaanku tidak baik! >.<

Dan suddenly aku realized at that moment, seringkali keadaan *yg menurutku* tidak baik membuatku lupa pada satu hal yang tidak pernah berubah, bahwa ALLAH ITU BAIK!

dan betapa baiknya Allahku, saat itu juga - lagu di mobilku yg berputar adalah...

Kecaplah dan lihatlah, betapa baiknya Tuhan itu.

Rasakan dan nikmati, kasih setia Tuhan.

Syukur bagiMu Tuhan, segalah hormat bagiMu Tuhan.

Allah yang mengasihiku - Allah yang memeliharaku selamanya.

Ketika aku mampu mengecap – melihat – merasakan – menikmati kebaikan Tuhan yg tidak pernah berubah, itulah ketika aku melihat situasiku dari kacamataNya.

Aku menyadari, bagaimana seringkali situasi membuatku meragukan kebaikanNya dan pekerjaanNya dalam hidupku.

(itulah gunanya aku hafal ay Filipi 1:6.. haha.. jadi ketika ragu2 lagi, aku terus diingatkan akan kebenaran firmanNya :$)

God cares more about my character than He does my comfort. And saat2 tidak indah *menurutku* adalah saat pembentukan yg sebenarnya adalah indah.

Dia memulai pekerjaan yang baik dalam diriku – yaitu, diriku sendiri – dan Dia akan mengakhirinya – sampai aku serupa dengan Dia.

Putus dengan pacar - adalah hal yg mnrt siapapun adalah disaster - tapi buatku, itu adalah bagian Tuhan membentuk hatiku dengan luar biasa hebatnya. (sekarang sih dah bisa ngomong gini.. haha... dulu aja nangis2 bombay - sampe sakit2an)

Bekerja banting tulang (dan lemak) di negeri penjajah demi sesuap nasi (dan segoncreng roti, eskrim, snacks...tiket jakarta-jepang) - mgkn adalah hal yg cukup dkasihani - tapi buatku, itu bagian Tuhan mempersiapkanku tuk tanggung jawab yg lebih besar. (dulu aja mikir...."mengapa saya harus bangun jam 5 dan pulang jam 10 malam buat kerjaaaaa??!? mengapa saya harus nyapuuuuu - cuci piring - dimarahin orjep2? enakan di indoooooo)

Dan one thing yg Tuhan ingatkan aku hari ini adalah pekerjaan Tuhan di setiap orang tidak sama.

Kemajuan teknologi (ok, i am talking about fb!) membuat kita dengan mudah tau apa yg terjadi dgn kehidupan orang lain.. padahal (mgkn) mostly hanya good parts of their lives yg people show on their facebooks ..

Aku bukan berarti bilang STOP CHECKING ON OTHERS' FB!! NO NO!

Tetapi jangan jadikan kondisi orang lain sebagai tolak ukur!

Karena:

1. We never really know how people struggle inside.

2. Tuhan bekerja dengan cara yg berbeda dalam diri setiap orang – oh Tuhan itu begitu unik dan creative :D

Bukan berarti, keadaan kita lebih buruk *baca=bodoh* dibanding teman kita, yg dulu rankingnya di bawah kita, sekarang dah jadi professor or dokter bedah syaraf (hihi, saya ngefans sama si Derek Shepherd - Grey's Anatomy soalnya) * karena facebook bilang!*

Or "oh no mantan pacar udah kawin, sementara saya masi jomblo!! >.<"

Atau mengganggap teman kita lebih sukses karena kerja dari terbit matahari sampai pada masuknya sambil mengelilingi bumi juga, sedangkan kerjaan kita gini2 aja (tenggo - duduk aja di kantor >.<)

(….ok, I’ll stop rite here, coz to be honest with you, I am not really good at this! Haha)

My point is, sekali lagi, He works differently dalam setiap kita …

Buatku pribadi, membandingkan diriku sendiri (saat ini) dengan diriku sendiri (dulu) sangat lebih membantu daripada membandingkan diriku sendiri dengan orang lain.

*of course ga ada salahnya, belajar dari orang lain dan tidak puas dengan diri sendiri … hanya, jangan sampai itu membuat kita feel incomplete or distressed by our shortcomings. Keep learning from others! ^^

Refleksi diri, membuatku mengingat kembali kebaikan Tuhan (yg sering kali susah kita rasakan ketika keadaan sedang tidak baik)– dan menyadarkanku bahwa semua yg kucapai sampai saat ini adalah anugrahNya, dan bukti pekerjaanNya yg nyata dalam hidupku. Dan bagiku, itu adalah kekuatan tuk melangkah ke depan.

Kita mungkin tidak secemerlang – sesukses – sekaya orang lain - or relationship kita tidak semulus/seindah orang lain, namun pekerjaanNya tidak terbatas pada bagaimana diri kita dibanding dengan orang lain. Tapi kepada bagaimana diri kita disempurnakan setiap hari 'tuk menjadi sesuai rancanganNya semula (apapun itu yg sudah Tuhan prepared buat kita - yang unik dan berbeda dari orang lain).

Aku berharap kita semua bisa seperti Paulus .... saying that there has never been (or kalo dulu pernah) -- : from now on, there will never be the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in me would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears. (the message)

my future is in Your hands

January 7th, 2011

One of my favorite Bible heroes is Joseph.

I admire his integrity, ketika dia memilih untuk say NO terhadap godaan yg begitu menggiurkan di depan mata and seemed so easy to be done. Ga hanya itu, Yusuf, I believe, adalah org yg bertanggungjawab - dan always did his best dmanapun dia dtempatkan. Potiphar loved him (Gen 39:4), kepala penjara (39:21), and obviously Pharaoh did too! Dia seorang yg setia dalam segala perkara - pembantu rumah tangga - tahanan penjara and DANG! perdana menteri negara terheboh masa itu! Dan hebatnya adalah those who met Joseph were aware that wherever he went and whatever he did, God was with him. Yes, God was glorified through his life. (39:2-3, 21, 41:38)

* Belum lagi ditambah, khusus untuk para wanita, Alkitab mencatat, Joseph was a very handsome and well-built young man (39:6) -- hohoho -- *

Alrighty!!! *ini cerita ku cukup loncat2, karena I know kalian semua sudah hafal kisahnya*

We all know that jauh sebelum Yusuf menjadi orang nomor 2 di Mesir, dia adalah anak kesayangan (!!) orang kaya (!!) di kampungnya *bayangkan kalo dia hidup di jaman skrg, sbrp spoil-nya he could be*.......and keadaan berbalik 180 derajat, ketika saudara2 iri-nya menjual Yusuf 'tuk djadikan budak. Ketika itu, seakan mimpi-nya semakin jauh, it's not getting any nearer to the dream he had! Kalo aku menjadi Yusuf, aku pasti berpikir bahwa "berakhir sudahlah hidupku", "na ah, it was just a dream - an impossible one!" I might question Him ..

Entering 2011, aku bersyukur kalo aku baca ulang kisah Yusuf lagi. It's not that aku sedang berada di sumur gelap menantikan saudara2ku berbelas kasihan dan membawa kembali ke istana papa, atau aku sedang difitnah oleh istri majikanku karena aku memilih ‘tuk melakukan kebenaran, atau di dalam penjara aku menanti teman tahananku mengingat janjinya tuk menceritakan ttg aku supaya aku terbebas.

Tapi memasuki tahun ini, aku banyak bertanya kepada Tuhan “where He leads me to?”. It seems that aku stuck dalam kondisi dimana aku ga bisa maju2 seperti yg selama ini aku inginkan. And my impatience membuatku terus mempertanyakan “when, why and how, Lord!?!”

I love making plans, btw. Selama seminggu di awal tahun ini, aku berusaha ‘tuk menyusun rencana in order to move on with some areas in my life, tapi I ended up “frustasi” karena keadaan saat ini so blurred, even worse, so dark, that I couldn’t move any forward, or plan anything further. Then I decided, “Ok, dear God, I’ll follow You step by step!”

Though I was tempted everyday to doubt, the Lord says “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.” – Psalm 32:8 - Could you see that? He knew my doubt, and He answered really2 clearly!!! Isn’t he so great and wonderful?

Kisah Yusuf mengingatkanku lagi bahwa Allah punya rencana indah untuk hidupku , dan setiap proses “menyakitkan” maupun “patut dipertanyakan” adalah saat dimana aku sedang dibentuk to fit His perfect plan. The Lord’s plans stand firm forever; his intentions can never be shaken. –Psalm 33:11-

Sama seperti Yusuf, kesetiaan – kejujuran – kerjakeras – tanggung jawab – integritas nya selama dia di rumah Potifar dan penjara sungguh membentuk karakter nya menjadi seorang penyelamat bangsa Israel dari kepunahan. (rencana Tuhan yg terindah untuk hidupnya dan bangsanya).

Did Joseph know about that? Not at all, but he chose to be faithful in every stage and chose to glorify Him in everything he did. Sepanjang penderitaan dan masa gelap nya, Yusuf percaya “God is in control!!! He works for good”…… “You intented to harm me, but God intended IT ALL FOR GOOD….. “ Gen 50:20

Dear friends, if you are like me, memasuki tahun 2011 dengan begitu banyak harapan, namun kondisi saat ini seakan jauuuh dari apa yg diharapkan, ini adalah saat Dia mau kita to trust in Him alone, bukan kepada rencana kita yang tersusun indah.

But I am trusting You, O Lord, saying, "You are my God!" My future is in Your hands.

So, be strong and courageous, all you who put your hope in the Lord! -Psalm 31-

have a peaceful new year!

December 22nd, 2010

Hampir setiap kali aku jadi MC natal *sejauh yg kuingat*, aku pasti mengutip Lukas 2, bagian dimana para malaikat muncul kepada para gembala (mari2 baca lagi!!). Bagiku itu adalah bagian termegah, aku membayangkan bintang di langit spt malam biasanya, dimana para gembala lagi asik beristirahat, tiba2 JRENG JRENG *nah ini aku ga bisa bayangin seberapa hebohnya malam itu* :

"Jangan takut, sebab sesungguhnya aku memberitakan kepadamu kesukaan besar untuk seluruh bangsa: Hari ini telah lahir bagimu Juruselamat, yaitu Kristus, Tuhan, di kota Daud. Dan inilah tandanya bagimu: Kamu akan menjumpai seorang bayi dibungkus dengan lampin dan terbaring di dalam palungan."

Dan tiba-tiba tampaklah bersama-sama dengan malaikat itu sejumlah besar bala tentara sorga yang memuji Allah, katanya: "Kemuliaan bagi Allah di tempat yang mahatinggi dan damai sejahtera di bumi di antara manusia yang berkenan kepada-Nya."

Dengan imaginasiku yg sangat terbatas ini pun, aku merinding membayangkan malam itu.

Lalu biasanya kuajak jemaat menyanyikan lagu Natal favoritku “Dengarlah Malak Bernyanyi” => Marilah kita memuji Sang Juruselamat bersama dengan para malaikat.

Natal kali ini pun, tetap bagian ini menjadi bagian yg aku terus bayangkan dan nikmati – namun ada satu bagian yg berulang kali terulang dan berbicara padaku kali ini, yaitu sang ibu .. Maria.

Setelah kehebohan yg terjadi *yg sesungguhnya jauh sebelumnya dia sudah tau*, Alkitab mencatat =

“Tetapi Maria menyimpan segala perkara itu di dalam hatinya dan merenungkannya.”(Lukas 2:19)

Hal yg sangat bertentangan dengan para wanita pada umumnya, *ok, setiap wanita berbeda* anggaplah aku, hal yg tidak heboh saja – bisa jadi heboh karena aku, apalagi hal yg sudah heboh – sepertinya mustahil bagiku tuk menyimpan dalam hati dan merenungkannya. Most of the time, reaksi pertama ku terhadap kehebohan adalah membuatnya semakin heboh, bukannya memikirkannya terlebih dahulu.

Bagian Alkitab selanjutnya pun mencatat, ketika Yesus yg berumur 12 tahun – stayed di Yerusalem - hilang dari pandangan orang tua-nya, ketika setelah 3 hari baru “ketemu” dengan Yesus, ternyata Yesus asik mengajar di Yerusalem, sebagai Ibu, Maria bertanya “kenapa bikin kami kuatir?”. Yesus jawab, “Loh, disini kan rumah BapaKu”, entah apa perasaan Maria saat itu, namun sekali lagi Alkitab mencatat = “But his mother treasured all these things in her heart.” (Lukas 2:51)

Wooow!! Mungkin kita ga akan pernah bisa terbayang situasi Maria *anak hilang, 3 hari baru ketemu, ga ada cell phone saat itu*, namun reflecting ke diriku sendiri – seberapa sering, ketika things happen in my life *yg tidak sesuai dengan rencanaku*, terutama ketika hal tsb sulit dimengerti, aku selalu berusaha tuk cari tau – figure it out right away, get it fixed and back to my plan– pergi ke sana sini – bertanya ke sana ke mari – tanpa terlebih dahulu reflect "kira2 apa yah yg Tuhan mau aku belajar dari ini semua?"

Aku percaya ini bukan berarti Maria adalah wanita kesepian, ga punya temen tuk curhat (kalo bahasa kerennya skrg), nope! Tapi Maria tau kepada siapa dia harus communicate-kan pertama semua things yg terjadi dalam dirinya. Dia tahu kepada siapa dia harus bertanya, and dia jelas tahu posisi dirinya -"I am the Lord's servant, may Your word be to me fulfilled." Luke 1:38

Elisabeth Elliot dalam "Passion and Purity" tulis gini =

But the things that we feel most deeply we ought to learn to be silent about, at least until we have talked them over thoroughly with God.

Dari sekian banyaknya pelajaran indah di buku ini, ini salah satu kalimat yg terus aku usahakan to put in into practice. *ingat, 1. Aku cewe tulen. 2. Aku sanguine sejati. Ngerti kan betapa susahnya hal ini? ini pun masi belajar*

Merenungkan dan mengkomunikasikan kepada Tuhan, menolong kita tuk melihat circumstances dari kacamata Allah, mengingat kembali akan janjiNya dan penyertaanNya yang sempurna, dan ingat akan posisi kita :

- kita adalah hamba yg mau taat kepada atasan kita - kita adalah bejana yg mau dibentuk oleh pejunan kita - kita adalah anakNya yg mau dididik menjadi serupa seperti Dia -

One of my 2011 resolutions is to be peaceful in all circumstances (i know, it's hard >.<) Aku menyadari, memasuki tahun yang baru, things might go wrong - unexpected- ga sesuai dengan my plan. Dan Maria memberi teladan - how it is to be peaceful - with those 2 verses, I will say "Be it unto me according to Your word" and I will "treasure all things and ponder them in my heart".

Aku sangat bersyukur Christmas berdekatan dengan New Year *bukan karena liburnya makin panjang*, tapi karena = as the reason we celebrate Christmas is to celebrate the birth of our Savior who brings joy and hope to the world, Christmas always refreshes me and brings hope to enter the new year, like this time :D

Merry Christmas all, and have a peaceful new year!

1 Thessalonians 5:17 = Never Stop PRAYING

From Purpose Driven Life.com = Keep on Praying

"Why be persistent? How come my answers sometimes don't come immediately? Why should I keep on praying when the answer doesn't come in my time table?"

Keep on praying when there's no answer, because persistent praying helps me focus on God. God wants me to remember that He alone is the source of my answers to prayer.

The Bible says in Philippians 4:19, "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."

God wants us to see Him alone as the source of our needs.When we have to pray about something over and over, who do we look to? We look to the Lord. Persistent prayer focuses our attention. Have you discovered that we like to look to everybody else to solve our problem except the Lord? We look to our friends, we look to our family, we look to counselors, we look to the government, we look to anybody -- except the Lord. God often delays an answer to force you to focus on Him.

Persistent praying also clarifies my requests. A delayed answer a lot of times gives me time to clarify what do I really want. Time separates deep longings from mere whims. I've prayed for things and sometimes during the delay decided I didn't really want them after all.

God delays the answer to test you. It's not that He doesn't want to give it to you, He wants to know if you really want it. Do you want it enough to keep praying? Jeremiah 29:13 "You will seek me and find me when you seek for me with all your heart." Nothing worthwhile is accomplished with half-hearted prayers.

Persistent prayer will prepare me for the answer. God usually wants to do more than you are praying for. Surprise! God wants to do it greater and He needs time to get you ready for it. There are changes God wants to make in you. Ephesians 3:20 "Now glory be to God, who by his mighty power at work within us, is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes."

People say, "Prayer changes things." Of course we know it is God who does the changing. But prayer changes you. And God is more interested in you than He is in circumstances. Often as soon as you've made the change in your life the doors of heaven open and the answer comes. Expect a miracle.

Persistent praying strengthens and develops your faith. A mark of maturity is how long can you wait. Galatians 6:9 "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." God’s saying, "Hang on! Be patient! The harvest is coming. Don't give up! Look up!"