Let's Laugh

I had a pretty long conversation (around 30 mins) over the phone with a sister. -- she said so many things that really2 bothered me (oh wait, they are still bothering me!!) tentang marriage life!!

Roh2 kekuatiran langsung mengerayangi - mendadak, selera makanku hilang - dan I still haven't had my dinner (it's 9pm already).

"Bagaimana ini kalo setelah merit, begini? Harus gmana ini ....?" dan dadaku sesak karena kuatir!!

Aku bersyukur kalo my darling lagi maen basket dan aku sangat2 ga mau ganggu -- walaupun hatiku sedang bergejolak hebat!! dan ketakutan luar biasa, dan ingin rasanya -- langsung ngomongin semua ketakutanku...

I knew, very2 knew --- that I had to wait - for the right time to talk to him ---!

So the only thing I said to him was "say ..pusing ._."

Buat cowo, "pusing" means sakit kepala.

Tapi u girls know well, pusing-nya cewe bisa jadi pusing model lain..

-- so my loving boyfriend jawab ...."istirahat gih say, semoga cepat sembuh <3"

And, I started to pray..

"Tuhan, eyn tau - kalo eyn ga bole kuatir tentang apapun - dan eyn mau doakan tentang apapun..." .....

dan aku tau, aku mau dengar apa firmanNya bilang ttg hal ini .. I grabbed my bible -

Dan tokoh apa yang Tuhan perkenalkan kembali padaku ...

SARA!

We know her story~!

Hebatnya Sara - yang dengan iman ikut suami dan tinggalkan segalanya di tempat yg nyaman - ke tempat yg ga jelas!

Perseteruan Sara dan Hagar~!!

Tapi, kali ini ada 2 bagian yg sangat mengena buat aku --

yaitu -

ketika Sarah TERTAWA, karena dia anggap it's a joke - setelah mendengar bahwa tahun depan dia akan melahirkan seorang anak. (Kejadian 18:1-15)

dan

ketika Sarah sekali lagi TERTAWA, setelah melahirkan Isaac -"Tuhan telah membuat aku TERTAWA, setiap orang yang mendengarnya akan tertawa karena aku."

(Kejadian 21:6)

Reaksi Sarah sama - TERTAWA - tapi untuk hal yang sangat berbeda.

Pertama, dia ragu (baca=tidak percaya), kalo Tuhan AKAN memenuhi janjiNya.

Kedua, dia melihat, bahwa Tuhan memang sungguh TELAH memenuhi janjiNya.

Dan aku berpikir, dimanakah posisiku saat ini? Untuk alasan apakah aku sedang tertawa.

-----------

Ternyata, aku tertawa untuk kedua alasan itu.

Tuhan memenuhi janjiNya. Dia memberikan pasangan hidup yang terbaik untukku. Hal yang sangat gelap untukku di masa lalu - Tuhan berikan - yang terbaik. pada saat yang terbaik -

Tapi, di satu sisi lain, sesungguhnya -- aku sedang dalam masa penantian - menanti janjiNya yang lain, kalo Dia akan melengkapiku menjadi seorang istri (en mommy!!), memenuhi kebutuhanku dan memberkati rumah tanggaku kelak sehingga keluargaku akan memberkati orang lain. (keparnoan orang mau merit)

Saat ini, ga kebayang! dan aku takut! Terlebih setelah the 30 mins conversation I mentioned -- semakin takut.

Tetapi kisah Sarah - yang Tuhan sekali lagi "dongeng-kan" untukku really2 encouraged me ~

though aku harus mulai segala sesuatu yg baru - aku harus pindah dari comfort zone ku .. cari kerja baru lagi ~ Tuhan pimpin!! Tuhan pimpin!!!

Walaupun sepertinya aku bergantung pada suamiku sepenuhnya (financially and many other things) -- tapi Tuhan ingatkan bahwa TUHANLAH TEMPAT AKU BERGANTUNG SEPENUHNYA.

Tuhan dah pimpin saat aku single dan memenuhiku dengan berkatNya yg melimpah. Terlebih Tuhan akan pimpin dan penuhiku dengan lebih hebat -- karena tanggungjawabku pun lebih hebat.

Read this:

How hard it was for Sarah (and is for us as well) to remember God's promises and to wait for him to fulfill them. God's promises are revealed and fulfilled in his own timing, which is often on a calendar far different from our own.

Waiting patiently for God to work may be one of the most difficult experiences of our Christian walk. We live in an age of the immediate. We think waiting, and doing so quitely, is somehow less worthy, perhaps even A BIT LAZY. We're great "do-it-yourselfers", but we often get in God's way when we take things into our own hands.

Tuhan sangat2 tau hatiku ..... Dia tutup moment indahku denganNya dengan ayat2 yg menjadi kekuatanku saat menanti pangeranku:

Psalm 27:14

WAIT for the Lord, be strong and take heart, and WAIT for the Lord.

Psalm 130:5

I WAIT for the Lord, my soul WAITS, and in his word I put my hope.

Isaiah 30:18

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who WAIT for Him.

Micah 7:7

But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I WAIT for God my savior; my God will hear me.

I believe He reminded me these verses for reasons --

kalo once upon a time -- I DID WAIT (sometimes impatiently, sometimes sambil menangis) tapi I DID WAIT for Him ... dan He fulfilled His promise ~ a precious Godly man.

-- and now, He wants me to do the same thing, WAIT FOR HIM - for other promises - yg belum Dia tunjukkan sekarang -- tapi for sure, He will fulfill them in His own timing.

So, dear girls - tertawa untuk alasan apakah kita saat ini?

Meragukan janjiNya?

atau ...

Melihat janjiNya?

... aku mengajak kalian tertawa tuk hal ketiga -- tertawa MENANTI tuk melihat janjiNya ..

One of my fave Proverbs 31 verses:

v.25b

SHE LAUGHS WITHOUT FEAR OF THE FUTURE!

Eve - Mother of All Who Have Life

I started this devotional "Women of the Bible" - and I think you all know - who the first woman ever mentioned in the bible -- yes, Eve!

Most of us have read about her several times … so have I.

But today, actually was my very first time - to really try to "understand her" --

selama ini, aku cuma liat Eve -- sebagai …"uurggh, gara2 dia - kita semua berdosa"

*giliran begini aja, aku sok2 berada di di posisi cowo -- dan ga bangga jadi cewe, -> nyalahin Hawa!

Let's see siapa Eve sebelum dan sesudah the Fall ~

Her character: she came into the world perfectly at peace with her God and with her husband, the only other person on the planet. She lived in Paradise, possessing every pleasure imaginable. She never knew the meaning of embarrasment, misunderstanding, hurt, estrangement, envy, bitterness, grief or guilt until she listened to her enemy and began to doubt God.

You know the story ---

Eve dengerin the serpent, ambil that fruit, kasi ke Adam -- makan bareng ..

lalu tiba2 mereka berdua merasa malu karena telanjang -- Tuhan datang -- jreng - jreng .. dan mereka saling menyalahkan …

Dan penderitaan dimulai ~~

karena the Fall --- Adam dan Hawa harus keluar dari the Paradise,

and apa? Yupzzz ~ kita, para anak2 hawa - harus merasakan apa itu labor!! *ga kebayang pas si Hawa dulu ngelahirin, cuma sama si Adam doank >.<

Dah mana, kisah Hawa juga ga kurang sedih … punya 2 anak, en satu dibunuh - satu membunuh …!! *again ga kebayang!

Si Hawa yang super perfect, dengan keadaan yang super perfect, dengan suami yg super perfect -- langsung terjun bebas ke kondisi yg miserable~

*well -- well, kalo kita punya masalah, mgkn ga terlalu ngerasa miserable - karena dari awalpun hidup kita sudah tidak perfect - kondisi kita pun tidak! Kita lahir dengan dosa - dan perasaan insecurity, merasa tidak cantik, iri hati, pahit etc *sebutkan segala dosa kehebatan para wanita.

Namun, Hawa, ------- SHE WAS THE MOST PERFECT WOMAN WHO EVER LIVED.

if we stop there, *seperti yg selama ini aku lakukan, aku merasa bahwa Hawa adalah wanita paling malang di dunia~

Namun, let's not skip the very important thing here -- God promised Eve, sooner or later, despite many griefs, her seed would crush the serpent. In the end, the woman would win.

And, after years -- Seth was born. *yes, walau tidak akan ada yg bisa menggantikan Abel for Eve..

Aku belum pernah merasakan pregnant and giving birth - but I know that the joy, the bonding between mom and her child …. the love ~!! *i wish i could explain more. membuat penderitaan labor means nothing~ *haiya ga kebayang seberapa sakitnya -- en ga kebayang seberapa indahnya punya anak itu sampe bisa labor ga berarti lagi sakitnya~~! isn't it beautiful?

and, yes, Eve experienced it again.

Yang terindah dari kisah Eve buat ku adalah -- *ni kata buku-nya:

Embedded in the very curse put on Eve for her sin is a wonderful promise. God promises her, and succeeding generations: You "will give birth to children" (Gen 3:16)

God's grace and mercy are marvelously evident, even when he's pronouncing his judgment. He promises that the human race will continue even as he announces that death will now be inevitable.

Throughout Scripture, God's grace is often most beautifully evident within his judgments. When the world was so full of sin that he had to destroy it, God's grace saved Noah and his family. When the Israelites rebelled so thoroughly that captivity was inevitable, God's grace promised restoration. While judgment fell on David for his sin with Bathsheba, God's grace them Solomon as a son and successor.

When you are at your lowest, on your knees before God's judgment, never forget that his grace is still at work. And that is truly amazing. :')

Eve, from the top of the world - suddenly fell so deep -- but, His grace was still at work~!

There is a hope for us, wahai para wanita-nya Allah, no matter how miserable kondisimu saat ini - or if you've been at your lowest since forever and dunno how to go back --- his grace is still at work. 'coz we're created for more. He doesn't leave us this way…. God doesn't stop there!!

Let's surrender our lives to Him - let Him fulfill his purpose for creating us..

He created us in His own image - like Eve - He made us a woman capable of reflecting his love, truth, strength, goodness, wisdom and beauty. We were made for paradise. Let’s not stop here!

Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World

by Joanna Weaver.
- a book for you who wants to live a balanced life. To please God with your intimacy with Him and bless people with your service. - eyn

Jesus is our supreme example. He was never in a hurry. He knew who he was and where he was going. He wasn’t held hostage to the world’s demands or even its desperated needs. “I only do what the Father tells me to do.”

Two completely different women undergo a transformaton right before our eyes; a holy makeover. The bold one becomes meek, the mild one courageous. For it is impossible to be in the presence of Jesus and not bechanged.

We can get caught in the same performance trap, feeling as though we must prove our love for God by doing great things for him.

The Kingdom of God, you see, is a paradox. While the world applauds achievement, God desires companionship. The world clamors, “Do more! Be all that you can be!” But our Father whispers, “Be still and know that I am God.”

When we first spend time in his presence – when we take time to hear his voice – God provides the horsepower we need to pull the heaviest load. He saddles up Grace and invites us to take a ride.

The only thing that came out between sobs was a broken plea, “Tell me the good news........... I honestly can’t remember.... “ perhaps you have felt the same way. You’ve known the Lord your whole life and yet you haven’t found the peace and fulfillment you’ve always longed for.

Matthew 11:28-29

While Martha may have been the first person to ask Jesus the question, “Lord, dont you care?” she definitely wasn’t the last. We’ve all felt the loneliness, the frustration, the left-out-ness and resentment she experienced in the kitchen that Bethany afternoon – doing all that work for others when no one seems to notice and no one seems to care.

That’s what i want when i’m feeling overwhelmed: soft, soothing words and plenty of helpful action.

“What you are doing is not good. You will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone.” Exodus 18:17-18

“But even pure ministry for Jesus can become a weight we drag around....it’s called the ‘treadmill’ anointing’, and it isn’t from God”. –Dutch Sheets-

It’s easy to find a shady spot and feel sorry for ourselves when we’re distracted and discouraged. Especially when we run up against unexpected opposition. Especially when it feels like we’re running for our lives.

When we’re distracted and discouraged, tired and overwhelmed, there is no better place to go than to our Father. He alone has what we need. As you do, you’ll find healing for your hurting heart.

Five strategies for fighting discouragement.
1.Allow for rest stops
2.Get a new point of view
3.Have patience
4.Mingle
5.Set the timer

What is it about us women that creates such a desperate need in us to always “know”, to always “understand”? We want an itinerary for our life, and when God doesn’t immediately produce one, we set out to write our own.

I love the compassion of Jesus in this story. He saw Martha’s situation. He
understood her complaint. But he loved her too much to give her what she wanted. Instead, Jesus gave her what she needed – an invitation to draw cloes to him. With open arms, he invited the troubled woman to leave her worries and cares and find refuge in him alone.

Because when you have questions, there is no better place to go than to the One who has the answers.

“Worry is allowing problems and distress to come between us and the heart of God. It is the view that God has somehow lost control of the situation and we cannot trust Him. A legitimate concern presses us closer to the heart of God and causes us to lean and trust on Him all the more.” – Gary E Gilley –

“Any concern too small to be turned intro a prayer is too small to be made into a burden.” –Corrie Ten Boom-

Eyn, eyn ..do not let your heart be trouble. Trust in God. Trust also in Me. John 14:1

Now, this is what the Lord Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways.” Haggai 1:5

I realized then that, while there are many things that need to be done, things i’m capable of doing and want to do, i am not always the one to do them. Even if i have a burden for a certain need or project, my interest or concern is not a surefire design that i need to be in charge. God may only be calling me to pray that the right person will rise up to accomplish it. What’s more, i may be stealing someone else’s blessing when i assume i must do it all.

Make no mistake. Satan enjoys using our hectic schedules, stressed bodies, and emotional upsets in his efforts to put up barriers to our intimacy with God. That’s why we need to take a close look at any thought, feeling, or activity that diminishes our appetite for intimacy with God.

If you’re having a little trouble feeling close to God – or even wanting to draw close – you might want to consider what activities you are using to fill the empty places of your life. What’s taking the edge off your hunger for him?

Service without spirituality is exhausting and hopeless. But in the same respect, spirituality without service is barren and selfish. We need to unite the two and do it all "as unto the Lord".

When we do that, something wonderful happens to our work in the Kitchen. Sinks turn into sanctuaries. Mops swab holy ground. And daily chores that used to bore us or wore us down become opportunities to express our gratitude - selfless avenues for his grace.

Our sanctification, does not depend upon changing our works, but in doing that for God's sake which we commonly do for our own.

Jesus seems to do nothing of Himself which He can possibly delegate to His creatures. He commands us to do slowly and blunderingly what He could do perfectly and in the twinkling of an eye." - cs lewis -

Instead of expecting God to acquiesce to our plans, dreams, schemes - or frantically trying to impress him with our efforts on his behalf - we simply need to "watch to see where God is working and join Him"

Duty gets offended quickly if it isn't appreciated, but love learns to laugh a lot and to work for sheer joy of doing it.

"True love hurts. It always has to hurt. If you really love one another, you will not be able to avoid making sacrifies." Mother Teresa

Everyone starts at the same place - at the most humble point of service. But when you're truly a servant, a job title and a position are completely secondary. You're willing to do whatever needs to be done.

Working from out God-given gifts releases ministry potential in greater measure and helps the various members of the body work harminiously.

Rather than picking and choosing ministry opportunities based solely on our talents and interests. We are directed 'always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord'. -jack hoey

When we surrender ourselves ourselves to be used by God, we don't always get to pick the time, the method, or the place of ministry. In fact, sometimes, we may find ourselves doing nothing at all - except praying and waiting for God's leading.

A true passion for God will naturally reesult in compassion for people. We can't love the Father without also being willing to love his kids - even when they're less than lovable.

Checking your motives - Jan Johnson
1. Am I serving to impress anyone?
2. Am I serving to receive external rewards?
3. Is my service affected by moods and whims (my own as well as others)?
4. Am I using this service to feel good about myself?
5. Am I using my service to muffle God's voice demanding I change?

Because if our Kitchen Service doesn't point people to Jesus, we risk becoming surrogate messiahs. If we, not God, end up being their source of hope, we are setting them up for profound dissapointment and ourselves for profound burnout - because we, in ourselves, are simply not up to the task of saving the world. In ourselves, like peter and john at the gate called Beautiful, we have nothing to offer. But in Christ, we are given the power to give people what they most desperately need.

I want my relationship with God to be so real and vital, so like that of the apostles Peter and John, that people can't help but sit up and take notice.

All the things I'd been trying to accomplish were important, but I had lost my center. Busy being busy, I'd forgotten to tend to my inner self, the spiritual me. Like a wheel without an axle, I'd careened through life, bouncing off one duty and onto another.

Life is filled with Hula-Hoops. We all have responsibilites, important things that need our attention. If we're not careful, however, our hearts and our minds can be consumed with the task of keeping them in the air. Rather than centering ourselves in Christ and letting the other elements of our lives take their rightful place around the center, we end up shifting our attention from one important to-do item to another, to frantically trying to keep them all in motion.

It's easy to forget that while there is a time to work, there is also a time to worship -- and it's the worship, the time we spend with God, that provides the serene center to a busy, complex life.

We will all have trials. The question is not when the pressure will come, but where the pressure will lie. Will it come between us and the Lord? Or will it press us closer to His breast? - hudson taylor

Life works better when we know how to glance at things but gaze at God. Seeing Him clearly will enable us to see all other things clearly. - selwyn hughes

It is so easy to lose focus in life, to lose our center. Life conspires to drag eyes away from the face of the Savior, hypnotizing us with the unending swat of our problems.

First things first, the Lord was saying. Take care of my business, and I'll take care of yours. Make room in your heart of me, and I'll make room for everything else.

The very definition of sin is separation from God. So no matter how important the activity, no matter how good it seems, if I use it as an excuse to hold God at arm's length, it is sin.

Sometimes we have to slow down in order to take spiritual inventory and see where we stand with God. Sometimes we have to realize how empty we are before we're willing to be filled.

My personal times of devotion were erratic at best. My prayer life was quirky, my reading of the word was sporadic. And because I was not spending regular quite time with God, I was not putting myself in a position to be filled and refilled.

I didn't have to wait until I felt spiritual to spend time with God. I just had to make a decision of the will, and the spiriutal feelings would eventually come around.
On those crazy loopy days when I don't feel so "hoopy", I'm learning to reach for the Lord instead of chocolate chip sedatives. I'm learning how to leave the kitchen and head for the living room where Jesus waits, because that's where I'll find everything I need and everything I want. What I really need is more and more of the Master himself

Faith is about how you live your life in the meantime, how you make decisions when you dont know for sure what’s next. What you do with yourself between the last time you heard from God and the next time you hear from God is the ongoing challenge of a life of faith. –CeCe Winans – On a Positive Note.

There are times in every life when God writes the end to a chapter, when he asks us to say good-bye to something or someone who has been important to us. It might be a spouse, a parent, or friend. It might be a job we’ve loved, a city we’ve enjoyed, a prejudice or an assumption that we’ve always thought wes true.

Endings, in a sense, are inevitable. Dead ends, failed possibilities, and brick walls will dissapoint us all. And when toses endings come, we can fight them as Peter adivsed Jesus. Or we can accept them as Jesus did, as coming from the Father’s hand.

Let go one piece at a time. Sometimes we cling to control because we fear we’ll be asked to make drastic changes we’re not ready for. But God, in his kindness, takes us at a pace we can handle. If we simply obey what he asks of us at the moment, he’ll lead us the next step when we’re ready.

Martha thought she had value because she was productive. Jesus wanted her to learn she had value simply because she was his.

And being teachable, in essence, involves three things:
-Being willing to listen
-Acting on what we hear
-Responding to discipline

Obedience is an essential ingredient in intimacy with God and the key to having a Mary heart. Either we take Jesus’ words to heart and change, or we listen but disregard them. And to disregard the voice of God is worse than not listening at all. Especially if we say we love him.

All God’s revelations are sealed until they are opened to us by obedience. Obey God in the thing He shows you, and instantly the next thing is opened up.. God will never reveal more truth about himsefl until you have obeyed what you know already. –Oswald Chambers

Our loving Father will do whatever it takes to break that rebellion before that rebellion breaks us. Eve it means giving us a time-out (like having to wait for something we’ve wanted), taking away our toys (like the new computer that just crashed), or allowing some affliction to come our way.

If we find ourselves becoming critical of other people, we should stop examining them, and start ecamining ourselves. -
William Barclay

At the same time, it's important to remember that saying yes to God doesn't mean saying yes to everything! When our lives are overbooked, it's easy for us to become spiritually dry and undernourished. We can barely hear God's voice above the busy noise, let alone say yes to what he is asking. In this case, we do need to learn how to say no, but only so we are able to say yes to God when he wants to give us an assignment.

It's a great release to know that the secret to 'doing it all' is not necessarily 'doing it all' but rather discovering which part of the 'all' he has given us to do and doing all of that. -Jill Briscoe

It's increasingly hard to resist the temptation to use the Sabbath as a catch-up day instead of a day of worship and rest.

How does she keep a balance? I asked her not long ago. "It takes a ruthless commitment to first thing first. I am constantly having to ask the Lord to do the Psalm 139 thing on me: "Live in my heart. Search and examine me. Know my heart."

"Take my struggles and use them for your glory. Change me. Give me a Mary heart in my Martha world."
And with those words would come a quiteness, an awareness that the Lord was working. I began to realize that if I was yoked to Christ, then I could trust him to set the pace. He knew what I needed and what had to be done. I could trust him to accomplish what he'd started. My part was sto partner with him. So I'd get up from prayer and go back working and waiting some more.

I fear our generation has come dangerously near the "I'm - getting - tired - so - let's - just - quit" mentality. And not just in the spiritual realm. Dieting is a discipline, so we stay fat. Finishing school is a hassle, so we bail out. Cultivating a close relationship is painful, so we back off. Getting a book written is demanding, so we stop short. Working through conflict in a marriage is a tiring struggle, so we walk away. Stricking with an occupation is tough, so we start looking elsewhere..
And about the time we are ready to give it up, along comes the Master, who leans over and whispers: "Now keep going; don't quit. Keep on"

When it comes to our spiritual lives, a lot of us are all-or-nothing people. If we aren't automatically perfect, we just give up. When Christlike virtues like patience and kindness seem hard to come by, we abandon our character development and decide holiness is for those better equipped. But when we give up, we're giving up on our part of the partnership. Perseverance is one of our responsibilities in this process of being changed.

When we surrender our lives to Jesus Christ, we release the Lord of the process to do his work. For it is in our weakness that Christ is strong. It is in our inadequacy that we find him more than sufficient. And it is in our willingness to be broken that he brings wholeness - more wholeness and completeness than we ever dreamed possible.

O Christ, do not give me tasks equal to my powers,
But give me powers equal to my tasks,
For I want to be streched by things too great for me,
I want to grow through the greatness of my tasks,
But I shall need your help for the growing.
E. Stanley Jone

What Are We?

So, here we are... Three Types of Women!!!! hihi-- semau2nya kita mengenal 3 tipe cowok, kita pasti lebih penasaran, kita tipe yg mana.
Sorry karena it took a while for writing it karena aku terkapar di ranjang this week :( and I just couldn't wait to segera sembuh tuk melanjutkan our journey Preparing to be a Help Meet!

Sebelum tau tipe kita apa, let's see -- "dari apakah" kita diciptakan?
Genesis 2:23 ...and Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

She was made from him and for him. Every woman was created to fulfill a need in the man. He needed a helper who could meet his needs. So - a help meet, that is, a helper suited (meet) to his needs. Her body, soul, mind, and emotions were created to be a blessing and help to man!

Sebenarnya dari sini, kita bisa menyadari satu hal. Mungkin pernah terlintas pemikiran -- "ah, berakirlah hidup kita, karena kita "cuma" jadi penolong buat pria." Tapi dari awal penciptaan, jelas banget dengan menjadi penolong bagi our man..kita actually menjalani fungsi kita! Dan menjalani alasan utama, mengapa kita diciptakan! Isn't it beautiful?

In this book, Debi Pearl mentioned that we, girls, too have 3 types! Yang pada dasarnya ..mirip2 sama cowo, yaitu:
Prophet Type - Visionary Man = Dreamer Gal
Priest Type - Steady Man = Servant Girl
Kingly Type - Command Man = Go-to Gal

Since you have already understood dan mengenal dgn baik ke-3 cowo ini, pasti kita dah punya gambaran sedikit ttg tipe 3 cewe ini juga. Let me share just a bit..
Karena, again, as I shared on my previous writing -- we, women, are called to adapt :) So, it's really good to know ourselves well..tapi ingat, bukan supaya kita semakin "menjadi2" -> you know what I mean, tapi supaya kita semakin maksimal melayani our man, to be his help meet.

AND...though, ada similarity, remember, man was created in God's image and we in man's image, so we are one step removed from the original. (So, horeeeee :D kita tidak ekstrim!!!)
Ooh! I am really thankful about this fact, coz what? It means that we are easier to adapt. Kita ga extreme..No No! Do u see here? Tuhan ga mungkin kasi kita perintah/fungsi (dalam hal ini tuk beradaptasi), tanpa diperlengkapi. Jadi, jangan pernah berpikir - adalah MUSTAHIL tuk beradaptasi. Karena kita diciptakan untuk itu, dan Tuhan tahu apa yang kita butuhkan tuk beradaptasi, and He has already provided! Our part, just to trust and obey!

Okay, let's start with ...

Dreamer!
Gampang bgt knowing whether you are a dreamer or not. Do you like to create, sew, design, paint or write? If you are a dreamer, then you need to keep your head out of the clouds while dancing your way into your vision of the future.
Remember this, don't get involved in projects that take you away from your responsibility to honor your husband. Spend your youth honing down your gifts and developing skills.
Someday, if you honor your man, your gifts will greatly benefit your marriage.
Di buku ini, ga di-share Biblical woman yang positif, unfortunately, only the negative, but we can still learn from her. Delilah! She was a dreamer. Penuh ide dan kreativitas, rite? So, berhati2lah para dreamers, use your creativities not to manipulate your man. I understand how our words, our acts, our cries can make us to get what we want from our man. But, please don't! We aren't Delilahs! We don't want our Samson lost his strength. We want our man to fulfill his calling with our 100% supports and our positive creativity.

Servant Girl!
Nah, ini tipe2 yang sangat dicintai lelaki manapun. Mirip2 steady man yang disukai semua orang. Sama seperti namanya, wanita ini senang melayani.
She is a peacemaker, kind and considerate.
Ada 1 point yg sangat bagus di buku ini...
Always keep in mind that it is good to be an Encourager, but not good to be an Enabler. An Encourager helps people better themselves. An Enabler does things for people that they should be doing for themselves, healing their self-inflicted wounds and sympathizing with their poor vices to the point that they are enabled to continue their negative behavior without facing the consequences or assuming responsibility to change.
Hati2 wahai kita para wanita berhati lembut (ciieeh!), it's really good to encourage (God calls us for that!), but remember, sometimes ada bagian yang bukan bagian kita, sometimes people need to take their own responsibilities juga. It's good to have a sympathy, but people need to learn juga kalo ada konsekuensi. If you are a truly servant girl, you really understand what I mean :) Remember, girls, we can't do everything, there are parts that just not ours.
Ruth is one good example. She was faithful serving her mother in law.

Go-to Gal!
She is strong, capable, and gives a sense of taking care of the greater number of people. Go-to gal ooozes with confidence, has strong opinions, and does well orgainzing people.
Deborah is one example!
I think it's pretty clear about this type, rite? And, para Go-to Gal, we also understand, how we put ourselves in the place we belong. To be submissive, I know it's not easy, but it's God's will and our calling.

I love this statemet Debi Pearl wrote:
The key is to recognize your natural type, not so you can take the lead, but so you can understand how it might weaken or aid your service to your first-in-command- your husband. (Ephesians 5:22-24)

I do wish you can read the book by yourself, especially this chapter..haha,
'coz this chapter explains much:
Why God put man in charge?
Man's nature - female's nature.
Who we are as the helpers.
How to create balance.
I feel like writing everything on this chapter..haha..but I will try my best to share you the points :)

Alright, tidak bisa dipungkiri..bahwa some women just have stronger personalities, punya leadership skills, smarter than the men! Tapi, mengapa dan mengapa tetep cowo-lah harus memimpin?!
Hal sangat mendasar yang sering kali suka kita ributkan kalo lagi berantem, padahal inilah alasan utama mengapa man is the leader, not us:
Man - logical. Woman - emotional.

God in His wisdom created the male with an innate caution and natural skepticism rooted in his cold logic and unemotional responses. Tuk singkatnya, para pria ini susah percaya kalo ga yakin itu adalah fakta. God created man with extreme resisance, reluctance, stubborness, and a skeptical mind.

God designed the woman to be sensitive and vulnerable for the sake of the little ones whom she must nurture. The soul of a mother must be quick to feel, to hurt, to love, to have compassion, to take in broken, and to believe the best. Vulnerability is both a woman's greatest natural asset and the point of her greatest weakness. Our very nature makes us susceptible to being tricked. We were created to be protected by our men while we nurture the family and maintain a connection with the emotional side of God.

So, we understand now kenapa si ular menggoda hawa di taman eden sana? Akan sangat susah convince si adam, for the reasons mentioned above. But hawa, maybe, pertama langsung pikir.. ular itu cute dan sudah terlena.

God gave man the kind of nature that would be suitable to hold the superior office in the chain of command. A wife's position under her husband is where God put her for her own spiritual, emotional, and physical safety. It is the only position where a wife will find real fulfillment as a woman.

I know, for you who keep reading my posts tidak akan berdebat panjang mengenai kenyataan we are to submit to our man. Since, I believe we all here sudah mengerti role kita, and I do hope that we all accept that with JOY.
Actually, this chapter belum kelar. It could be very long, so I will continue later :)

But, let me close dengan satu cerita yang aku alami sendiri, and sangat related with logical man and emotional woman - and why God put man as the leader, for this reason!
I am naturally a Go-to Gal (pada tempatnya..dan pada saat dibutuhkan, let's say I lead people naturally :$) Though, I was very2 happy, when my boyfriend said that I am more a Servant-Gal..(haha..!!), and I am a dreamer too, a little bit!
Pas jaman kuliah, aku bersahabat dengan 1 cewe (sebut aja - Ai) yang naturally a Go-to Gal too, intinya we both are leaders in our group! Dan kami b2, bersahabat dengan 1 cowo (sebut aja - Ken) yang super santeeeeeeee, yg ikut kemanapun kami pergi (oh, we love him!), namun this guy selalu jadi laki2 di saat kami jadi cewe banget!
Dan ada 1 contoh yg sangat2 membuktikan ke-cowo-an dia dan ke-cewe-an kami!

It was winter in Japan, aku dan Ai ini nginep di rumah Ken (yg juga share house with our friends). Aku dan Ai tidur di kamar Ken. Ken tidur di luar, di sofa. (haha, baru sadar, kesian si Ken, lagi winter harus tidur di luar!) Pas winter, selalu pake heater. Yang modelnya begini...

The next morning, I had to wake up early karena I had work that day. Ai - Ken masi bobo pules begitu juga his housemates! Do u know it's really torturing to wake up on winter..karena dingin banget dan malesss banget, udah mana, aku harus kerja!! Ga sukaaaaaaaa >.< dan temen2ku masi bobo, ga relaaaaaaaaaa >.<
Nah, celana panjangku tuh super dingin..dan udah mau nangis rasanya pake celana panjang dingin. Dan si bodoh aku, taroh celana di atas heater - pikir cuma bentar banget, supaya anget dikit.
Pergilah aku ke kamar mandi, sikat gigi bentar .. then, "Oh, ketinggalan sesuatu" dan kembali lah ke kamar! Saat masuk kamar..kalian tau apa yg terjadi, saudara2...
kamar sudah berasap .... dan kebakaraan!! Sudah sampai ceiling! (Rumah di Jepang, plafon-nya rendah, jadi wajar kalo dah sampai ceiling!)
The heater pas di kaki Ai, dan Ai masi tidur pulas! Dan aku teriak "AAAAAAAIIIII -- AIIIIIIII kebakaran!" We both teriak2 ga jelas! Teriak - teriak dan teriak!
Ai lebih pinter dari aku, dan dia bangunin Ken! Dan Ken tanpa keluar kata satupun, dia ke dapur (aku ga tau dia pake apa, karena aku dan Ai masi panik) and matiin api-nya! And, that's it, DONE!

Aku super malu tuk cerita ini, teman2, karena aku menyadari bodoh-nya aku for putting bahan kain di atas heater - walaupun terlindung, tapi api bisa terpercik >.<
(dan aku tau, kalian ga mungkin sebodoh aku >.<) Tapi kenapa aku mau cerita ini...karena it's one example, Tuhan really2 created man and woman in certain ways and certain positions.
It is really true, secara natural, aku dan Ai adalah pemimpin. We say something, people listen. We have strong opinions. People respect us, dst.
And Ken, naturally, he is a follower, for he enjoys his life so much.
Namun, secara natural dan yang paling mendasar! I am only a woman. And Ken is a man!
A man with an instict and logic to lead!
And me, a woman with emotion to follow!
In our marriage kelak...akan banyak terjadi "kebakaran" (amit2, maksudnya...problems or decisions to make), and God has pointed our man to lead! I know - I know, you are leaders dalam Komisi Wanita, atau Presiden di perusahan..or apapun itu!
Tapi, dalam family, dalam hubunganmu dengan suamimu, he is the leader.

Elisabeth Elliot dalam Let Me Be a Woman, wrote this:
It was God who made us different, and He did it on purpose. Recent scientific research is illuminating, and as has happened before, corroborates ancient truth which mankind has always recognized. God created male and female, the male to call forth, to lead, initiate and rule, and the female to respond, follow, adapt, submit. Even if we held to a different theory of origin, the physical structure of the female would tell us that woman was made to receive, to bear, to be acted upon, to complement, to nourish.
You are fully a woman, which means you have privileges.
You are only a woman, which means you have limitations.
Accept that :)

So, I shared a bit about Three Types of Women, and you (perhaps) have got an idea of who you are. It is good - means that we are now to develop our gifts and skills even better, whether we are a Dreamer, Servant Girl, or Go-to Gal. But we know, we develop them, so we can use our gifts, talents and our type in this honored place of SECOND in command. For we're created from and for men.

First Homework = To Adapt

Alright girls, buat kamu yg udah baca all the three types of men in Preparing to be a Help Meet, maybe maybe.. some of you started to berandai2 -- ataupun buka mata lebih lebar terhadap pria2 di sekelilingmu, mulai lihat mana yang Prophet, Priest or King – krn somehow berasa lebih jelas tipe cowo mana yg “saya MAU dan saya pikir cocok dgn saya.”

I truly understand what you feel :)
Sejak dulu, I always dreamed for a Kingly type! I had no idea about the types of men, tho - I hadn't read the book! All I knew, I "needed" cowo terdepan di medan perang. For me, this kind of man is capable to "lead" me since I am myself, a leader. And he is charming, what!? A guy who talks one word and can change a world? Doaku adalah "Tuhan berikan aku cowo model itu -- supaya AKU -- supaya AKU..."

And, to be honest with you, kalo seandainya aku baca ttg Steady Man sebelum pacaran -- MUNGKIN aku tidak akan pernah berpikir kalo this Priest could really steal my heart! Ga tanggung, saudari2, God bless me with 100% steady man! After years hatiku tertutup rapat setelah patah hati dan proses renewal terindah (horee!!), I would never imagined, yg mampu membuat hati ku terbuka LAGI bukanlah seorang pria yg sedang berdiri di depan dgn segala kharisma-nya memimpin (spt yg selama ini aku pikir aku "butuhkan") - tapi justru adalah this man who puts others first and has a beautiful gentle servant heart!
Itu belum jadian beibeh, belum! Itu adalah awal2 aku realized "Oh, there is a guy!"
dan proses pertemanan kami (we were purely just friends ... ) sampai sekarang masi berpacaran ... I realized how God knows better than I do!
Oke - how I finally realized that is another story to tell.. :$ (maybe some other time..haha)

Let's back to our fantasies.. ! I am not saying that tidak boleh "pilih2" mau prophet / priest / king.. (siapa juga aku? haha). Bole banget!! That's what I did rite? I wanted a king.
But, let me remind you something - always remember that God created us to be a help meet! Not the other way around, our man is not our help meet.
It is, of course, sangatlah manusiawi - menginginkan sesuatu yg kita pikir cocok dan baik untuk kita (kalo bukan kita yg mikirin diri sendiri siapa lagi?!? hehe, GOD -- HE knows and cares about you more than you do!). But, I invite you to take a higher level, instead of memikirkan cowo mana yg baik untuk saya (krn it doesn't take us anywhere) - let's prepare ourselves by developing our gifts, talents and beautifying our inner and outer to be ready for someone God wants you to be his help meet.

Let's do it!!

A good help meet is called to adapt!
(Loooh bukannya relationship harus SALING adaptasi? Well - betul sekali) Tapi..level lebih tinggi tuk beradaptasi dimiliki oleh kita para wanita (horeeeeeeee!) yang dicintai oleh pria (lebih horeeeee lagi!) Again, I am sharing this to you, karena I know, you are willing to obey His will, to do our part that is to submit. (Ephesians 5:22-33)

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Sometimes, ketika kita berpikir tipe cowo mana yg cocok buat kita, salah satu alasannya adalah cowo mana yg easy to live with (means, easy to adapt). Betul atau betul? Gapapa banget untuk berpikir seperti itu, tapi harus juga kita ingat, bahwa "ber-adaptasi" itu tidak lah semengerikan yg kita bayangkan. Most of the time, itu akan membuat karakter kita semakin baik.

Aku realized one thing selama aku menjalani this relationship - why men and women have to be different - why he thinks logically I feel emotionally - itu adalah supaya I could learn to LOVE UNSELFISHLY and to PUT OTHER (in this case, my man) FIRST. Dan itu adalah kehendak Tuhan! So, a good relationship when we are willing to adapt to our partners - will bring us to do God's will.



Kalo kita (cewe) aja yg adapt, then kita kehilangan jati diri kita donk? - you might ask that -
Hmm, girls, I am not an expert in this, but I can share my experience :)
Namun sebelumnya, tolong samakan persepsi, when I talk about guys (whether he is a prophet, priest, or king) - we talk about God-fearing men. Pria yg mengasihi Kristus dan punya kerinduan untuk menyerupai Kristus setiap hari.
Alright, bicara tentang jati diri, we (both men and women) - our goals adalah menjadi seperti Kristus dan menjalani kehendakNya! Jadi ketika kedua pasangan ada dalam pertandingan yg sama - we have the same goal.
And, we both know our own position - the head of man is Christ and the head of the woman is the man.
Jadi - goal kita jelas => Christlikeness, posisi juga jelas, rite?
So, ketika kita ber-adaptasi (yg mungkin kita takutkan), kita "hanya" beradaptasi dalam menyesuaikan kepentingan kita dgn pasangan, atau hobby, atau waktu, ataupun mungkin sedikit sifat/karakter (yg trust me, penyesuain karakter dgn pasangan akan akan akan menumbuhkan karakter yg makin cantik).
Jadi, tidak ada pasangan dalam Kristus (yg punya the same goal) yg ber-adaptasi tuk melawan perintah Tuhan.(jadi, jangan parno - jangan parno!)

Elisabeth Elliot dalam The Mark of a Man wrote this,
If you find a woman who is ready to go where you go and do what you do without brooding about being "her own person", you'll have found a treasure.
She will have to be a woman who has submitted herself to God, first of all, because otherwise she'll be listening to the insistent voices around her, telling her that she's got to be independent and autonomous, that she ought not to be "only" somebody's wife or somebody's mother, that she needs to seek fulfillment for herself and that can only be found beyond the bounds of home.
If, having submitted herself to God, she understands that what He had in mind when He made her was response - in order that both man and woman be fulfilled - she will be at peace with the arrangement.

Salah satu hal yg I learnt to adapt to my man adalah masalah waktu. As you might have read, a Priest man needs to be left alone to do his daily routine. Unlike a Prophet who is really consumed with his girl, or a King who always wants to know where his woman is - what she does, a Priest is content with his life. In my case, terlebih - we both are busy - and we are in long distance relationship. :$ and you know, girls - how hard it is. Perasaan spt he doesn't need me as I do -pun ada, since again he is a Priest, he is a man in demand. I don't own him all by myself.

Awal2, I expected much! hmm.. I understood that I needed to adapt - but, I thought didn't he need to adapt to my needs (more time and more me) too?
It's God's grace - really, 'til I finally realized it's me to adapt! 'coz I realized too what I thought "I needed" was simply "I wanted" -- and again, my goal is to love him unselfishly. It wasn't easy - I cried and I wasn't happy. But it's God's will, and so far it's been a very wonderful and beautiful journey, all by His grace <3 For He promised that we can do all things with Him who strengthen us. Termasuk to adapt to our partner one day! He provided me strength to adapt, and I know He will always do! It's only one thing, and I am still learning and still a lot work to do.

God wants to make us become a lovely help meet. To be a good one takes effort... lots of effort.

So, girls, ask yourself = are you willing to adapt?
(Again, I was talking about a responsible, reliable, loving, dependable God fearing man, oke?!)
Kalo Tuhan "mengirimkan" a King di pintu rumah-mu, are you ready to adapt to his 'controlling' yet really loving nature, to be humble and listen to him?
Or, if it's a Prophet, are you ready to support him, not to look down on him, to always stand by his side?
If it's a Priest, to have a gentle spirit, to share him with others and to serve people with him?

Debi Pearl wrote this "God is not impressed by our gifts, our types or our strengths. He is impressed by our willingness to abide by and appreciate his program by conforming to the needs of our man."

How will I know? Start now! Start to adapt to your parents, your siblings, your friends... Remember, the preparation is on progress!

PS. it isn't finished yet..haha.. to be continued "Why I should keep the options wide opened?" 'coz God knows better, next :)

what it takes to be a Prophet wife

I have 2 groups (at this moment - who knows it could be a whole large classroom..haha) discussing "Preparing to be a Help Meet" :D

one - my college friends. the other one - my churchy friends.

Tonite, I had chapter 3 with the first group - so, let me share what we had.

Chapter 3: the Prophet

as u might have read my excerpt about this man. he is a Visionary.

he loves confrontation, and hates status quo. he is consumed with a need to communicate with words, music, writing, art or actions. (he must be a really romantic guy..hoho~!)

he can love with a passion and be aggressively loyal to his friends and family. he can take the lead in calling the world to repentance and showing them a path of righteousness.

however, if they are not balanced, these Prophet/ Visionary types may get fanatically focused on one or two weird issues and, in the process, upset the entire family.

when i asked - if any of the girls will actually fall into this kind of guy, one of them said yes! haha :D

guess who?

since the question is a big IF -- what IF, all of us are married to the Prophet types!? how we adapt?

every Prophet needs a good, wise, prudent, stable wife who has a positive outlook on life.

remember - this guy is adventurous. he might have an idea of selling the house, quitting his job, then travelling around the world (sounds interesting, huh? REALLY?)

he will be subjective, thinking about feelings, moods and spiritual insights. so we need to be objective and use common sense.

he MIGHT spend money unwisely, leaving his wife feeling insecure. so we need to learn to be content with what we have.

he is a man of ideas, vision. he will talk. some idea might be crazy, some might be not.

so first, we need to listen!

and we are to talk, give opinions and not to "ARE YOU CRAZY?" him.

we need to practice how to speak up our mind - what we think from other point of view (less crazier, perhaps) with WISDOM and LOVE.

be flexible.

be loyal.

as any other men, he needs our supports! - though the whole world thinks he's out of mind, let him know that we are on his side.

without his supporting wife, he feels alone.

Thomas Edison was great after his 999th failure to make a light bulb. the 1st 'til 10th trial might be still exciting - but when it hit hundred-th, people started to think he was crazy! but aren't we thankful for him now?

our husband could be one of these crazy EDISONs.

so, enjoy the ride, girls and be prepared ;)

The Three Types of Men

I didn't write it myself, I had it on my word documents (copied - pasted) long time ago - when I searched about "I couldn't remember" and I found it's really useful and practical to get a better understanding about men, or our men.. and help us to learn how to adapt (if we're willing) to our men :)

CREATED TO BE HIS HELP MEET

BY DEBI PEARL

Mr. Command Man

God is dominant — a sovereign and all-powerful God. He is also visionary— omniscient and desirous of carrying out his plans. And, God is steady — the same yesterday, and today, and forever, our faithful High Priest. Most men epitomize one of these three aspects of God. No single man completely expresses the well-rounded image of God.

A few men are born with more than their share of dominance and, on the surface, a deficit in gentleness. They often end up in positions that command other men. We will call them Command Men. They are born leaders. They are often chosen by other men to be military commanders, politicians, preachers, heads of corporations, and managers of businesses. Winston Churchill, George Patton, and Ronald Reagan are examples of dominant men. Since our world needs only a few leaders, God seems to limit the number of these Command Men. These men see life as if they are looking from a high mountain, they see the big picture rather than individual needs.

They are known for expecting their wives to wait on them hand and foot. A Command Man does not want his wife involved in any project that prevents her from serving him. If you are blessed to be married to a strong, forceful, bossy man, as I am, then it is very important for you learn how to make an appeal without challenging his authority. We will discuss how to make an appeal later in this book.

Command Men have less tolerance, so they will often walk off and leave their clamoring wife before she has a chance to realize that she is even close to losing her marriage. By the time she realizes that there is a serious problem, she is already a divorced mother seeking help in how to raise her children alone. A woman can fight until she is blue in the face, yet the Command Man will not yield. Yielding would be against his personhood. He is not as intimate or vulnerable as are other men in sharing hi s personal feelings or vocation with his wife. He seems to be sufficient unto himself. It is awful being shut out. A woman married to a Command Man has to earn her place in his heart by proving that she will stand by her man, faithful, loyal, and obedient. When she has won his confidence, he will treasure her to the extreme.

A King wants a Queen, which is why a man in command wants a faithful wife to share his fame and glory. Without a woman’s admiration, his victories are muted. If a wife learns early to enjoy the benefits of taking the second seat, and if she does not take offense to his headstrong aggressiveness, she will be the one sitting at his right side being adored, because this kind of man will totally adore his woman and exalt her. She will be his closest, and sometimes his only, confidante. Over the years, the Command Man can become more yielding and gentle. His wife will discover secret portals to his heart.

If you are married to a king, honor and reverence is something you must give him on a daily basis if you want him to be a benevolent, honest, strong, and fulfilled man of God. He has the potential to become an amazing leader. Never shame him, and do not belittle him or ignore his accomplishments. Make it your life’s goal to become his queen.

Mr. Visionary

God is a Visionary as seen in his person, the Holy Spirit. He made some men in the image of that part of his nature. Prophets, be they true or false, are usually of this type. Some of you are married to men who are shakers, changers, and dreamers. These men get the entire family upset about peripheral issues, such as: do we believe in Christmas? Should we use state marriage licenses? Should a Christian opt out of the Social Security system? The issues may be serious and worthy of one’s commitment, but, in varying degrees, these men have tunnel vision, tenaciously focusing on single issues. They are often the church splitters and the ones who demand doctrinal purity and proper dress and conduct. Like a prophet, they call people to task for their inconsistencies. If they are not wise, they can be real jerks who push their agendas, forcing others to go their way.

Visionaries are often gifted men or inventors, and I am sure it was men of this caliber that conquered the Wild West, though they would not have been the farmers who settled it. Today, Visionary men are street preachers, political activists, organizers and instigators of any front-line social issue. They love confrontation, and hate the status quo. “Why leave it the way it is when you can change it?” They are the men who keep the rest of the world from getting stagnant or dull. The Visionary is consumed with a need to communicate with his words, music, writing, voice, art, or actions. He is the “voice crying out in the wilderness” striving to change the way humanity is behaving or thinking. Good intentions don’t always keep Visionaries from causing great harm. They can stir up pudding and end up with toxic waste if they are not wise. An unwise wife can add to the poison with negative words, or she can, with simple words of caution, bring attention to the goodness of the pudding and the wisdom in leaving it alone. Every Mr.Visionary needs a good, wise, prudent, stable wife who has a positive outlook on life.

The wife of Mr.Visionary should be just a little bit reckless and blind in one eye if she is going to enjoy the ride. If this is your man, you need to learn two very important things (beyond how to make an appeal). Learn how to be flexible, and learn how to always be loyal to your man. You will be amazed at how much happier you will be and how much fun life can be if you learn to just go with the flow — his flow. Life will become an adventure. You will actually begin to feel sorry for the gals married to the stick-in-the-mud, steady type. And once you get it into your head that your husband does not have to be “right” for you to follow him, you will FINALLY be able to say “bye bye” to your overwrought parents, even when they are screaming that you are married to a crazy man. People looking on will marvel that you are able to love and appreciate your husband, but you will know better because you will see his greatness.

Greatness is a state of soul, not certain accomplishments. Over time, this type of man will become more practical. If you are a young wife married to a man whom your mama thinks is totally crazy — then you may be married to Mr. Visionary. Right now, purpose in your heart to be loyal to him, and to be flexible; then, let your dreamer dream. Lean back and enjoy the ride; it should prove interesting. Visionary Man will talk and talk and talk to his honey if she approves of him. He will be subjective, thinking about feelings, moods, and spiritual insights. One of his greatest needs will be for his wife to think objectively (proven truth) and use common sense, which will help keep his feet from flying too far from solid ground. He spends his life looking through a telescope or microscope, and he will be stunned that what he sees (or thinks he sees), others do not seem to notice or care about.

Mr. Steady

God is as steady as an eternal rock, caring, providing, and faithful, like a priest like Jesus Christ. He created many men in that image. We will call him Mr. Steady — “in the middle, not given to extremes.” The Steady Man does not make snap decisions or spend his last dime on a new idea, and he doesn’t try to tell other people what to do. He avoids controversy.

Being married to a Steady Man has its rewards and its trials. On the good side, your husband never puts undue pressure on you to perform miracles. He doesn’t expect you to be his servant. You do not spend your days putting out emotional fires, because he doesn’t create tension in the family. You rarely feel hurried, pushed, pressured, or forced. The women married to Visionary Men look at you in wonder that your husband seems so balanced and stable. The wife of Command Man marvels at the free time you seem to have. If your dad happened to be a Steady Man, then chances are you will appreciate your husband’s down-to-earth, practical life for the wonderful treasure it is.

When you are married to a man who is steady and cautious, and you have a bit of the impatient romantic in you, you may not see his worth and readily honor him. You may be discontent because he is slow and cautious to take authority or make quick decisions. A bossy woman sees her husband’s lack of hasty judgment and calls her Steady husband “wishy-washy.” His steadiness makes him the last to change, so he seems to be a follower because he is seldom out front forming up the troops. There is no exciting rush in him, just a slow, steady climb with no bells or whistles. You wish he would just make up his mind, and that he would take a stand in the church. He seems to just let people use him. There are times you wish he would boldly tell you what to do so you would not have to carry all the burden of decision-making.

Some women equate their husband’s wise caution and lack of open passion as being unspiritual. His lack of spontaneity and open boldness may look like indifference to spiritual things. However, he is like deep, deep water. The very depth makes the movement almost imperceptible, but it is, nevertheless, very strong.

He will be confused with your unhappiness and try to serve you more, which may further diminish your respect for his masculinity. Disappointment and unthankfulness can make you wearier than any amount of duties. His very steadiness keeps him on his middle-of-the-road course, and it will drive a controlling woman crazy.

This is why many disgruntled ladies married to Mr. Steadys fall victim to hormonal imbalance, physical illness, or emotional problems.

Know Your Man

Wives are very much flesh and blood, and as young women, we don’t come to marriage with all the skills needed to make it start out good, let alone perfect. When you come to know your man for whom God created him to be, you will stop trying to change him into what you think he should be. The key is to know your man. If he is Mr. Steady, you need to learn to be thankful and to honor him as the one created for you in the image of God. Your husband’s gentleness is not a weakness; it is his strength. Your husband’s hesitation is not indecision; it is cautious wisdom. Your husband’s lack of deep spiritual conversation is not a lack of caring; it is simply the cap on a mountain of intense emotions.

If this describes your man, you need to learn how to stand still and listen; then let God move your husband in his own good time. Ask God for wisdom and patience. Seek to always have a gentle spirit. Stop expecting him to perform for you, to pray with the family, to speak out in witnessing, or to take a bold stand at church. Stop trying to stir him up to anger toward the children in order to get him to feel as though he understands how badly you are being treated. Let him be the one God made him to be: a still, quiet, thoughtful presence — for you!

A Steady Man likes a woman to walk beside him, yet grow in her own right before God and him.

He needs a resourceful, hardworking woman with dignity and honor. It is important to Mr. Steady that his wife is able to be self-sufficient in all the mundane tasks of daily living.

These men can be some of the most important men in the church, because their steadfastness is sure, and their loyalty is strong. They make wise, well-thought-out decisions.

Typically, Steady Men do not become as well known as Command or Visionary Men. They are not odd or stand-out men. They are not loud. They are neither irritating nor particularly magnificent. Women and men alike envy and desire a Command Man. People are often drawn and compelled by the Visionary. But the Steady Man is taken for granted

Much of this book has been written to help young wives learn to honor, obey, and appreciate the Steady Man just as he is.

Mr. Steady will enjoy the company of others and be most comfortable spending time in small talk with whoever is around. Of the three types, he is the one that will be most liked by everyone. Mr. Steady is always in demand. He belongs to people. He does not focus on the eternal picture like Mr. Command, nor is he looking through a microscope as Mr. Visionary, but he does respect both views as important. His vision is as a man seeing life just as it is. He can shift his sights to the sky and know there is more up there than he can see, and he wonders about it. Or, he can stare into a muddy pond and appreciate that there is a whole world in there that he knows nothing about. In most of life, he is a bridge between the other two types of men. He is a very necessary expression of God’s image. Of the three different kinds of men, it is more important that Mr. Steady have a help meet who likes him just as he is.

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I can't wait to read the book, honestly, but I decided to wait after I got married :$ and just be content and try to put into practice what I learnt from "Preparing to be a Help Meet" for unmarried (and married) women version of this book.

I bought one for my married sister, tho :$ from "bookdepository"

it's free shipping WORLDWIDE!! hoho! An answer prayer, I could get books in Indonesia :D :D