God Truly Writes My Love Story

Kalo ditanya, "gmana rasanya dah mau merit?" ---
jawabanku, "hmmm biasa2 aja sih!"
Itu bukan karena aku ketularan pacarku yg super cool ... tapi emang sejujurnya, aku belum sempat mendalami the fact that I AM GETTING MARRIED~~~!!!

Tapi thank you tuk orang2 terdekatku yang sering berkomentar ..."wah ga berasa looh lyn 1 tahun mah!!" -- or simple comment like "cieh yg udah mau merit" -- or menyadari kenyataan kalo tahun ini aku terakir terima angpao, *yay taon depan dah bagi2 berkat buat sepupu dan keponakan!*
-- membuatku berhenti sejenak dan memaksaku menerima kenyataan itu, en barulah....
"Ya ampuuuunnnn... aku bakal merit -- IT'S BIG! This girl yang mengalami break up yang dramatis, yang berjuang dalam operasi pemulihan hati yang menyakitkan. This girl yang hobi banget baca buku ttg relationship and Godly woman's stuffs, share it with other girls. Yang rindu banget jadi istri dan mama kelak .... !!! and now, it's really happening to me. My dreams are coming true!" ...en jreng jreng, there -- aku menyadari ... that I am going there - my new life! A whole new life i've been waiting for..

Di awal2 pacaran, sejujurnya, aku selalu ga sabar pengen banget share kisah cintaku (buset bahasanya!!!) :$ Tapi i always thought - at least, kalo dah pacaran setaon - or mau menikah dalam setaon deh baru mulai share2 gimana Tuhan berkarya dalam masa pacaranku.. dan hal2 indah yg Dia dah ajarkan tuk membentukku.
Eh, seriously, girls ... time flies. Ga terasa aku dah pacaran lebih dari setaon, en bakal menikah kurang dari setaon .. dan aku belum mulai share..!

And here I am, mau mulai cerita dikit2 ... *aku kurang jago cerita kronologis -- so maybe aku akan share topik per topik ... haha .. we'll see how it's gonna be!

Back in 2007 ~~~~!
Aku baca buku = "When God Writes Your Love Story" by Eric and Leslie Ludy.
Sejujurnya kondisiku saat itu hanyalah menelan mentah2 judul buku itu! Ketika Tuhan menulis cerita cinta??!! *aku baru saja putus setelah pacaran 8 tahun -- en aku sama sekali ga bisa memahami kalo there is a love story! Bagiku, love story is a sad story! Love hurts!
Tapi jauh di lubuk hatiku yg terdalam, aku berharap dan beriman .. things like "Tuhan, walau saat ini -- GELAP -- eyn bahkan ga bisa mengerti apa itu cinta lagi! Eyn bahkan ga berharap kalo eyn bakal bertemu pria dan jatuh cinta lagi ... ~ Eyn bahkan ga tau kenapa eyn baca buku ini~ tapi satu hal yg eyn tau, eyn mau taat! Mau ikutin jalan cerita Tuhan dalam hidup eyn..... nurut aja!"
THERE! walau saat itu, aku ga bisa lihat apa2 - tapi aku menaruh pengharapan pada Dia -- really, only by faith, not by sight!

Sejujurnya aku hanya ingat satu hal ttg buku itu *en saat itu, aku belum nulis hal2 bagus dari buku yg aku baca, ga kayak skrg. Jadi ga ada catetan!*... yaitu, TULISLAH SURAT CINTA UNTUK CALON SUAMIMU kelak!
jreng jreng~~!!!! Bagiku saat itu, itu adalah hal yang paling practical yang bisa aku jalani .. "ah, cuma tulis surat doank!!!" and guess what? i did~!
I have a letter for my future husband --- yang ditulis persis 5 tahun yang lalu (lebih sehari) dari tanggal resepsi di Jakarta nanti, en kalimat terakirnya berbunyi gini =
"yeah, you may be someone i can never imagine... i love you!"
Aku bener2 ketawa geli ketika aku baca ulang that letter ~ but that letter really2 brought me to 5 years ago me --- ketika kisah cinta bukanlah lagi sesuatu hal yang aku harapkan. Ketika aku berpikir "should i ever get married?"

And here i am now -- i could say that, i experience "God truly writes my love story". And i have to say, that ...
my love story tidak berawal ketika aku bertemu dengan calon suamiku dan akirnya kami berada di pelaminan... tapi jaaauuuuuh sebelum itu - hanya saja aku ga pernah menyadarinya.

Di titik ini, aku menyadari - bahkan saat kondisi terpahitpun - saat hatiku hancur berkeping2 - Tuhan sedang menulis kisah cintaku~!
Why? Karena itu saat hatiku dibentuk menjadi hati yang jauh lebih indah - tuk calon suamiku kelak.

*seriously my darling, i thank God, He allowed me to have that - because you deserve a much better version of me and i love you - and i pray that i can be better each day*

Ketika aku menanti 1 - 2 - 3 tahun, "kenapa cowo yang datang aku belum sreg?"-- itu ketika Tuhan mengajariku - contentment.
i learn to be content in any circumstances. i learn that God is enough. His love is more than enough for me. *hepi2 aja ga ada telp or sms dari cowo!
You know what? tuk wanita seperti saya, yang pacaran terlalu dini - aku belum pernah sempat mengenal siapakah diriku di hadapan Tuhan... dan apakah itu dikasihi Tuhan secara komplit.

Karena dari umur 13 tahun, ada 1 orang pria yang setia menyayangiku, menganggapku cantik dan menganggapku begitu berharga. Tuhan ijinkan kami berpisah tuk mengajarku pengalaman terindah --- dan kenyataan yang paling indah bagi semua wanita di dunia ini... bahwa the God of this universe loves us more than anyone could. We are special for Him. We are extremely beautiful in His sight. and nothing - NOTHING can separate us from His love.

Pengalaman single-ku (yang diiringi tangis dan kesepian) menjadikanku wanita yang utuh -- sehingga saat aku berjumpa dengan calon suamiku - aku penuh! Penuh oleh kasih Tuhan - penuh oleh nilai diri yang Tuhan anugrahkan bagiku. Sehingga aku siap tuk saling mengisi dengan calon suamiku. Bukan untuk saling mengambil.
Karena relationship yang sehat adalah 2 manusia yang utuh - saling memberi - me'refresh - melengkapi - dan memberkati. What we can give, not what we can take.
Bukan 2 manusia kosong - dan berharap tuk saling mengisi kekosongan, karena trust me -- kita akan dehidrasi - kering kerontang - dan akirnya pahit it it it !

I believe that - each of us has our own love story. Karena God is super creative.
Setiap cerita kita berbeda - karena wong, kita pun Dia ciptakan berbeda.
Dia punya cara dan cerita khusus, supaya rencanaNya dalam hidup kita dapat dipenuhi. supaya kita menjadi seseorang yang Dia has designed us to be. supaya potensi kita dapat keluar seutuhnya tuk membawa kemuliaan bagi namaNya.
Serahkan penamu kepada si Penulis. He is awesome! I experienced it -- and I can't wait for the next chapters He has for me, aah for us, me and my husband one day ;)

Let's DO FUN Learning!

Hello, finally ... saya melanjutkan our Preparing to be a Help Meet Journey ..

*i am really sorry for the long pause.. :(

The next chapter of this book, chapter 7, is about Knowledge.

I'll write the review short saja... (hmm, that's my first intention..haha let's see apakah tiba2 jadi panjang)

Since ini buku ttg preparing ourselves to be help meets - one thing yg we need to do while we prepare => gaining knowledge. About apa saja? Later!

First, why?

Marriage life is not all romance and passion - maybe five percent. The rest of your time is devoted to the routine of living. There will be unexpected trials burdens that will catch you and your sweetie totally by surprise. Whether your family, not to mention your passion, survive life's curveballs depends on knowledge..yours..

In this book, Debi Pearl shared her own experience, where due to her lack of knowledges tentang obat2an - vaksinasi bayi hampir merenggut nyawa baby-nya! (intinya, she let her baby di-vaksin, padahal harusnya belum boleh). Nah, the moment pada saat bayinya sakit keras hampir mati (karena dia sudah melihat ada Death Angel menghampiri....>.<), adalah turning point buat dia bahwa she has to learn stuffs!

Life is not complicated. There are only a few simple principles that God set into place that make the whole process not just run smoothly, but really fly.

Proverbs 24:3-5

"Through wisdom is a house built; and by understanding it is established: And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches. A wise man is strong; yea a man of knowledge increase strength."

We got choices..how we want to spend our youth..! After all, it's our own lives! (errr...not really, actually!)

Once, my friend cerita kenapa dia bisa il-feel sama satu cewe... "gile lyn, dia spend weekend cuma nonton film korea!" I am not judging her! Siapa yg ga suka? Tapi, spending entire weekend watching Korean drama (every week) only helps you to gain knowledge in Korean (annyongghaseeooo~!!) or maybe fashion, a bit. or making kimchi?

Remember girls....we are now being prepared (and prepare ourselves) for something! Something that you and I have dreamed for a life time, I know.

...and as in Proverbs 24:3-5 said...it is built by wisdom, knowledge, and understanding.

And the time to gain all of them...... is NOW~!

Since, I, myself, juga belum entering the marriage life (though I have met my prince charming)... aku ga bisa suggest apa yg perlu kita pelajari, tapi mari belajar sama2, berdasarkan pengalaman Ibu-ibu di atas kita :D

In this book, Debi Pearl bilang... ini2 yang perlu kita siapin dan pelajari..

jreng jreng jreng...

1. Masak!! of course ga cuma sekedar masak asal jadi, tapi yang sehat. Including, belanja bahan yang bagus. (trust me, girls, I read this book several times.. and skrg saat aku ketik ini pun.. aku super deg2an about this! >.< )

2. Birth control! and pregnancies....

What??!~!! To be honest with you, aku sama sekali belum tau apa2 tentang hal ini ..cuma pretty much tau kapan masa subur itu >.< Detail-nya belum.. dan one day, make sure we learn about this before we get married.

What we can do now, though~ Know your body well! Aku started tuk mencatat jadwal menstruasi, untuk tahu normal ga-nya, + ini juga to help me tau kapan aku PMS, supaya aku lebih berjaga dan kasi extra kekuatan tuk si emosi nakal >.<

And including di dalamnya, we need to have a strong healthy body for our babies tar... (deg2an juga ketik ini!) Mari ber-olahragalah wahai wanita~!

3. Hospitality

4. How to make money! :D (or at least to save money..)

Jangan cuma jadi single ladies yang jago to spend money ..... !!! Semangaaaat!! Do smart shopping!

5. Responsibility --> ga lagi2 jadi anak papi/mami yang manja ...

6. Homeschooling

Gmana practice-nya? Start to learn a new thing each week, Debi Pearl suggested. Rajin baca, bertanya, dan praktek... Kata kuncinya = rajin. A Godly woman doesn't eat the bread of idleness. (Proverbs 31:27)

Oh and btw, learning stuffs - gaining knowledge ga selamanya se-stress belajar geografi (tiba2 aja inget pelajaran ini... >.<), it could something fun too! Like today, aku nemenin bumil belanja perlengkapan bayi ..(aku bisa saja liat2 baju, since i am not having a baby dalam waktu dekat, rite?) but! it was totally FUN! Here's one of the fun things... this cute tooth brush :D Don't u think it's super cute?

Why do I tell you all about this weird stuff? I want you to know that walking through the door of knowledge will make you a stronger, healthier, smarter and more resourceful person. It will make you more capable wife, a wiser mother and an interesting person. It could save your life or that of your child.

Mariiiiii!!!!!!!!!

Who can find a virtuous woman? -- oh, for us... :

who wants to be a virtuous woman, for her price is far above rubies.....? I do I do~!

Semangat! :D

Chapter 8 = Italian Prince, next ;)

September

Last year.... this day~! God answered my prayer ....

My written on my diary prayer:

February 24, 2010

"Terkadang yah, eyn yang bisa berasa, udah deh eyn bisa jalanin deh...

bahkan tadi sempet kepikiran, eyn bakal kasi kesempatan sampe September.

Ga tau kenapa, September!!"

Ini bukan karena aku punya penglihatan ... kalo the man I've been praying for selama ini - bakalan "dor der" at September 2010 ...

Hmm to be honest with you, kenapa waktu itu aku doa begitu .. karena..... ooooh...I was really scared..! Aku ga berani risking my heart terlalu lama... and ENTAH KENAPA aku bilang "Tuhan... September deh, kalo ga eyn bakal mundur!!!"

Now we know, 'coz God knew! He has been in control, He always is!

He knew that this wonderful man would think and decide (and I so believe, it's all from Him) "harus sekarang or never..." and it was September :D

*I broke up with my first boyfriend after 8 years relationship -- en selama proses pemulihan aku tutup hati rapat2 (walau kadang2 ada juga celah-nya..haha)

-- and pas 2010, aku bilang... "Tuhan.. I am ready for a relationship" -- so, that's why, aku super takut 'tuk mulai lagi ...

Dan saat a great guy came~!!! Aku tambah takut kalo aku keburu jatuh cintrong, tapi ternyata bukan dia. Di sisi lain, I knew, kita sebagai cewe, juga harus do something, yaitu buka hati. (Bukan kejar cowo loooh - jangan salah), tetapi buka hati.

Kebanyakan takutnya nih, kalian mungkin berpikir begitu ... ! Yes... TAKUT!

Itulah kenapa, I started my whole PURE friendship with my Arief dengan sungguh berdoa ke Tuhan, supaya Tuhan jaga hati, sikap, dan perkataanku.

And...skrg, if I look back, aku sangat bersyukur kalo aku takut (baca= hati2). Dengan begitu, aku bersandar sepenuhnya sama Dia, and always chose to be still ketika hatiku gundah "ini cowo maunya apa sih?" atau saat aku ga sabar pengen tau the answer "ini cowo kapan bakal maju?" or "bakal maju atau ga sih?"

I learnt and put Psalm 37:7a into practice .. "Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for Him to act."

Remember, girls... we are to react ... not to act (kalian ngerti konteks ku disini) - bole lah kasi signal, jangan "ngerjain dan nyusahin" cowo!

Tetapi dalam hal pertanyaan "Mau dibawa kemana hubungan kita....?", aku ga tau gimana dengan kalian, tapi I did Psalm 37:7a sepanjang masa pertemanan, penantian, "ke-geje-an" (bukan TTM yah!)! I waited for Him to act through him!

Buatku pribadi, I experienced Tuhan sungguh bekerja pada waktu yang tepat dan terbaik. Aku sungguh merasakan bahwa He wanted this for me and for him! (So, I would suggest you to do the same = to wait patiently). And, yes, 12 September 2010, He answered my prayer! He kept His promise, He would act for me, what I needed to do was to be still.

"Gimana tapi kalo dah ga sabaaaarrrr, Lyn?"

Hmmm.... ada one thing yang aku suka banget dari buku Lady in Waiting, bahwa masa single kita adalah redeeming time~ Waktu yang ga akan pernah kembali.

So, daripada mikir "Kapan... kapan ..kapan..." pakai waktu penantian kita tuk menebus waktu kita di masa depan, yang ga akan lagi buat kita sendiri .. tapi untuk, pacar kita kelak, suami kita, dan anak2 kita! Tebus waktumu sekarang!

Kembali ke September ...

September 2011, aku juga udah ga sabar, tuk mencapai masa pacaran tahun, bukan hanya bulan. (haha..for those yang pernah ngerasain pacaran 8 tahun, ngerti banget rasanya :$)

At least, I wanted to say out loud!!! "YEAH, dah 1 TAHUN!!"

Though, aku menyadari dalam setahun ini ... really2 relationship ga cuma seberapa LAMA kita bersama, tapi seberapa DALAM kita mau berjuang tuk berusaha mengenal apa yang pasangan kita suka dan tidak, terus mengutamakan kepentingan yang lain di atas kepentingan pribadi, tuk mengasihi dengan kasih yang dimurnikan oleh Dia.

And, ternyata God did even better.. ga hanya aku sangat berbahagia ..... "it's one year, beibeh!!!", tapi much more than that! Super extra special one, yang akan aku share kapan2... ;)

To my special man,

I thank God for you... (ga akan bosen aku ulang2 saying it..haha, 'coz i really2 do)

Thank you for every decisions you made yang butuh courage and faith (so proud of you!)

Thank you for make me feel so much loved!

Thank you for all the magical things you do when I am with you.

We will go forth in grace alone.

'coz it takes three, Jesus, you and me, to make this relationship work!

I am so in love with you <3 and you make me wanna say I do!

12 September 2011

What Are We?

So, here we are... Three Types of Women!!!! hihi-- semau2nya kita mengenal 3 tipe cowok, kita pasti lebih penasaran, kita tipe yg mana.
Sorry karena it took a while for writing it karena aku terkapar di ranjang this week :( and I just couldn't wait to segera sembuh tuk melanjutkan our journey Preparing to be a Help Meet!

Sebelum tau tipe kita apa, let's see -- "dari apakah" kita diciptakan?
Genesis 2:23 ...and Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

She was made from him and for him. Every woman was created to fulfill a need in the man. He needed a helper who could meet his needs. So - a help meet, that is, a helper suited (meet) to his needs. Her body, soul, mind, and emotions were created to be a blessing and help to man!

Sebenarnya dari sini, kita bisa menyadari satu hal. Mungkin pernah terlintas pemikiran -- "ah, berakirlah hidup kita, karena kita "cuma" jadi penolong buat pria." Tapi dari awal penciptaan, jelas banget dengan menjadi penolong bagi our man..kita actually menjalani fungsi kita! Dan menjalani alasan utama, mengapa kita diciptakan! Isn't it beautiful?

In this book, Debi Pearl mentioned that we, girls, too have 3 types! Yang pada dasarnya ..mirip2 sama cowo, yaitu:
Prophet Type - Visionary Man = Dreamer Gal
Priest Type - Steady Man = Servant Girl
Kingly Type - Command Man = Go-to Gal

Since you have already understood dan mengenal dgn baik ke-3 cowo ini, pasti kita dah punya gambaran sedikit ttg tipe 3 cewe ini juga. Let me share just a bit..
Karena, again, as I shared on my previous writing -- we, women, are called to adapt :) So, it's really good to know ourselves well..tapi ingat, bukan supaya kita semakin "menjadi2" -> you know what I mean, tapi supaya kita semakin maksimal melayani our man, to be his help meet.

AND...though, ada similarity, remember, man was created in God's image and we in man's image, so we are one step removed from the original. (So, horeeeee :D kita tidak ekstrim!!!)
Ooh! I am really thankful about this fact, coz what? It means that we are easier to adapt. Kita ga extreme..No No! Do u see here? Tuhan ga mungkin kasi kita perintah/fungsi (dalam hal ini tuk beradaptasi), tanpa diperlengkapi. Jadi, jangan pernah berpikir - adalah MUSTAHIL tuk beradaptasi. Karena kita diciptakan untuk itu, dan Tuhan tahu apa yang kita butuhkan tuk beradaptasi, and He has already provided! Our part, just to trust and obey!

Okay, let's start with ...

Dreamer!
Gampang bgt knowing whether you are a dreamer or not. Do you like to create, sew, design, paint or write? If you are a dreamer, then you need to keep your head out of the clouds while dancing your way into your vision of the future.
Remember this, don't get involved in projects that take you away from your responsibility to honor your husband. Spend your youth honing down your gifts and developing skills.
Someday, if you honor your man, your gifts will greatly benefit your marriage.
Di buku ini, ga di-share Biblical woman yang positif, unfortunately, only the negative, but we can still learn from her. Delilah! She was a dreamer. Penuh ide dan kreativitas, rite? So, berhati2lah para dreamers, use your creativities not to manipulate your man. I understand how our words, our acts, our cries can make us to get what we want from our man. But, please don't! We aren't Delilahs! We don't want our Samson lost his strength. We want our man to fulfill his calling with our 100% supports and our positive creativity.

Servant Girl!
Nah, ini tipe2 yang sangat dicintai lelaki manapun. Mirip2 steady man yang disukai semua orang. Sama seperti namanya, wanita ini senang melayani.
She is a peacemaker, kind and considerate.
Ada 1 point yg sangat bagus di buku ini...
Always keep in mind that it is good to be an Encourager, but not good to be an Enabler. An Encourager helps people better themselves. An Enabler does things for people that they should be doing for themselves, healing their self-inflicted wounds and sympathizing with their poor vices to the point that they are enabled to continue their negative behavior without facing the consequences or assuming responsibility to change.
Hati2 wahai kita para wanita berhati lembut (ciieeh!), it's really good to encourage (God calls us for that!), but remember, sometimes ada bagian yang bukan bagian kita, sometimes people need to take their own responsibilities juga. It's good to have a sympathy, but people need to learn juga kalo ada konsekuensi. If you are a truly servant girl, you really understand what I mean :) Remember, girls, we can't do everything, there are parts that just not ours.
Ruth is one good example. She was faithful serving her mother in law.

Go-to Gal!
She is strong, capable, and gives a sense of taking care of the greater number of people. Go-to gal ooozes with confidence, has strong opinions, and does well orgainzing people.
Deborah is one example!
I think it's pretty clear about this type, rite? And, para Go-to Gal, we also understand, how we put ourselves in the place we belong. To be submissive, I know it's not easy, but it's God's will and our calling.

I love this statemet Debi Pearl wrote:
The key is to recognize your natural type, not so you can take the lead, but so you can understand how it might weaken or aid your service to your first-in-command- your husband. (Ephesians 5:22-24)

I do wish you can read the book by yourself, especially this chapter..haha,
'coz this chapter explains much:
Why God put man in charge?
Man's nature - female's nature.
Who we are as the helpers.
How to create balance.
I feel like writing everything on this chapter..haha..but I will try my best to share you the points :)

Alright, tidak bisa dipungkiri..bahwa some women just have stronger personalities, punya leadership skills, smarter than the men! Tapi, mengapa dan mengapa tetep cowo-lah harus memimpin?!
Hal sangat mendasar yang sering kali suka kita ributkan kalo lagi berantem, padahal inilah alasan utama mengapa man is the leader, not us:
Man - logical. Woman - emotional.

God in His wisdom created the male with an innate caution and natural skepticism rooted in his cold logic and unemotional responses. Tuk singkatnya, para pria ini susah percaya kalo ga yakin itu adalah fakta. God created man with extreme resisance, reluctance, stubborness, and a skeptical mind.

God designed the woman to be sensitive and vulnerable for the sake of the little ones whom she must nurture. The soul of a mother must be quick to feel, to hurt, to love, to have compassion, to take in broken, and to believe the best. Vulnerability is both a woman's greatest natural asset and the point of her greatest weakness. Our very nature makes us susceptible to being tricked. We were created to be protected by our men while we nurture the family and maintain a connection with the emotional side of God.

So, we understand now kenapa si ular menggoda hawa di taman eden sana? Akan sangat susah convince si adam, for the reasons mentioned above. But hawa, maybe, pertama langsung pikir.. ular itu cute dan sudah terlena.

God gave man the kind of nature that would be suitable to hold the superior office in the chain of command. A wife's position under her husband is where God put her for her own spiritual, emotional, and physical safety. It is the only position where a wife will find real fulfillment as a woman.

I know, for you who keep reading my posts tidak akan berdebat panjang mengenai kenyataan we are to submit to our man. Since, I believe we all here sudah mengerti role kita, and I do hope that we all accept that with JOY.
Actually, this chapter belum kelar. It could be very long, so I will continue later :)

But, let me close dengan satu cerita yang aku alami sendiri, and sangat related with logical man and emotional woman - and why God put man as the leader, for this reason!
I am naturally a Go-to Gal (pada tempatnya..dan pada saat dibutuhkan, let's say I lead people naturally :$) Though, I was very2 happy, when my boyfriend said that I am more a Servant-Gal..(haha..!!), and I am a dreamer too, a little bit!
Pas jaman kuliah, aku bersahabat dengan 1 cewe (sebut aja - Ai) yang naturally a Go-to Gal too, intinya we both are leaders in our group! Dan kami b2, bersahabat dengan 1 cowo (sebut aja - Ken) yang super santeeeeeeee, yg ikut kemanapun kami pergi (oh, we love him!), namun this guy selalu jadi laki2 di saat kami jadi cewe banget!
Dan ada 1 contoh yg sangat2 membuktikan ke-cowo-an dia dan ke-cewe-an kami!

It was winter in Japan, aku dan Ai ini nginep di rumah Ken (yg juga share house with our friends). Aku dan Ai tidur di kamar Ken. Ken tidur di luar, di sofa. (haha, baru sadar, kesian si Ken, lagi winter harus tidur di luar!) Pas winter, selalu pake heater. Yang modelnya begini...

The next morning, I had to wake up early karena I had work that day. Ai - Ken masi bobo pules begitu juga his housemates! Do u know it's really torturing to wake up on winter..karena dingin banget dan malesss banget, udah mana, aku harus kerja!! Ga sukaaaaaaaa >.< dan temen2ku masi bobo, ga relaaaaaaaaaa >.<
Nah, celana panjangku tuh super dingin..dan udah mau nangis rasanya pake celana panjang dingin. Dan si bodoh aku, taroh celana di atas heater - pikir cuma bentar banget, supaya anget dikit.
Pergilah aku ke kamar mandi, sikat gigi bentar .. then, "Oh, ketinggalan sesuatu" dan kembali lah ke kamar! Saat masuk kamar..kalian tau apa yg terjadi, saudara2...
kamar sudah berasap .... dan kebakaraan!! Sudah sampai ceiling! (Rumah di Jepang, plafon-nya rendah, jadi wajar kalo dah sampai ceiling!)
The heater pas di kaki Ai, dan Ai masi tidur pulas! Dan aku teriak "AAAAAAAIIIII -- AIIIIIIII kebakaran!" We both teriak2 ga jelas! Teriak - teriak dan teriak!
Ai lebih pinter dari aku, dan dia bangunin Ken! Dan Ken tanpa keluar kata satupun, dia ke dapur (aku ga tau dia pake apa, karena aku dan Ai masi panik) and matiin api-nya! And, that's it, DONE!

Aku super malu tuk cerita ini, teman2, karena aku menyadari bodoh-nya aku for putting bahan kain di atas heater - walaupun terlindung, tapi api bisa terpercik >.<
(dan aku tau, kalian ga mungkin sebodoh aku >.<) Tapi kenapa aku mau cerita ini...karena it's one example, Tuhan really2 created man and woman in certain ways and certain positions.
It is really true, secara natural, aku dan Ai adalah pemimpin. We say something, people listen. We have strong opinions. People respect us, dst.
And Ken, naturally, he is a follower, for he enjoys his life so much.
Namun, secara natural dan yang paling mendasar! I am only a woman. And Ken is a man!
A man with an instict and logic to lead!
And me, a woman with emotion to follow!
In our marriage kelak...akan banyak terjadi "kebakaran" (amit2, maksudnya...problems or decisions to make), and God has pointed our man to lead! I know - I know, you are leaders dalam Komisi Wanita, atau Presiden di perusahan..or apapun itu!
Tapi, dalam family, dalam hubunganmu dengan suamimu, he is the leader.

Elisabeth Elliot dalam Let Me Be a Woman, wrote this:
It was God who made us different, and He did it on purpose. Recent scientific research is illuminating, and as has happened before, corroborates ancient truth which mankind has always recognized. God created male and female, the male to call forth, to lead, initiate and rule, and the female to respond, follow, adapt, submit. Even if we held to a different theory of origin, the physical structure of the female would tell us that woman was made to receive, to bear, to be acted upon, to complement, to nourish.
You are fully a woman, which means you have privileges.
You are only a woman, which means you have limitations.
Accept that :)

So, I shared a bit about Three Types of Women, and you (perhaps) have got an idea of who you are. It is good - means that we are now to develop our gifts and skills even better, whether we are a Dreamer, Servant Girl, or Go-to Gal. But we know, we develop them, so we can use our gifts, talents and our type in this honored place of SECOND in command. For we're created from and for men.

First Homework = To Adapt

Alright girls, buat kamu yg udah baca all the three types of men in Preparing to be a Help Meet, maybe maybe.. some of you started to berandai2 -- ataupun buka mata lebih lebar terhadap pria2 di sekelilingmu, mulai lihat mana yang Prophet, Priest or King – krn somehow berasa lebih jelas tipe cowo mana yg “saya MAU dan saya pikir cocok dgn saya.”

I truly understand what you feel :)
Sejak dulu, I always dreamed for a Kingly type! I had no idea about the types of men, tho - I hadn't read the book! All I knew, I "needed" cowo terdepan di medan perang. For me, this kind of man is capable to "lead" me since I am myself, a leader. And he is charming, what!? A guy who talks one word and can change a world? Doaku adalah "Tuhan berikan aku cowo model itu -- supaya AKU -- supaya AKU..."

And, to be honest with you, kalo seandainya aku baca ttg Steady Man sebelum pacaran -- MUNGKIN aku tidak akan pernah berpikir kalo this Priest could really steal my heart! Ga tanggung, saudari2, God bless me with 100% steady man! After years hatiku tertutup rapat setelah patah hati dan proses renewal terindah (horee!!), I would never imagined, yg mampu membuat hati ku terbuka LAGI bukanlah seorang pria yg sedang berdiri di depan dgn segala kharisma-nya memimpin (spt yg selama ini aku pikir aku "butuhkan") - tapi justru adalah this man who puts others first and has a beautiful gentle servant heart!
Itu belum jadian beibeh, belum! Itu adalah awal2 aku realized "Oh, there is a guy!"
dan proses pertemanan kami (we were purely just friends ... ) sampai sekarang masi berpacaran ... I realized how God knows better than I do!
Oke - how I finally realized that is another story to tell.. :$ (maybe some other time..haha)

Let's back to our fantasies.. ! I am not saying that tidak boleh "pilih2" mau prophet / priest / king.. (siapa juga aku? haha). Bole banget!! That's what I did rite? I wanted a king.
But, let me remind you something - always remember that God created us to be a help meet! Not the other way around, our man is not our help meet.
It is, of course, sangatlah manusiawi - menginginkan sesuatu yg kita pikir cocok dan baik untuk kita (kalo bukan kita yg mikirin diri sendiri siapa lagi?!? hehe, GOD -- HE knows and cares about you more than you do!). But, I invite you to take a higher level, instead of memikirkan cowo mana yg baik untuk saya (krn it doesn't take us anywhere) - let's prepare ourselves by developing our gifts, talents and beautifying our inner and outer to be ready for someone God wants you to be his help meet.

Let's do it!!

A good help meet is called to adapt!
(Loooh bukannya relationship harus SALING adaptasi? Well - betul sekali) Tapi..level lebih tinggi tuk beradaptasi dimiliki oleh kita para wanita (horeeeeeeee!) yang dicintai oleh pria (lebih horeeeee lagi!) Again, I am sharing this to you, karena I know, you are willing to obey His will, to do our part that is to submit. (Ephesians 5:22-33)

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Sometimes, ketika kita berpikir tipe cowo mana yg cocok buat kita, salah satu alasannya adalah cowo mana yg easy to live with (means, easy to adapt). Betul atau betul? Gapapa banget untuk berpikir seperti itu, tapi harus juga kita ingat, bahwa "ber-adaptasi" itu tidak lah semengerikan yg kita bayangkan. Most of the time, itu akan membuat karakter kita semakin baik.

Aku realized one thing selama aku menjalani this relationship - why men and women have to be different - why he thinks logically I feel emotionally - itu adalah supaya I could learn to LOVE UNSELFISHLY and to PUT OTHER (in this case, my man) FIRST. Dan itu adalah kehendak Tuhan! So, a good relationship when we are willing to adapt to our partners - will bring us to do God's will.



Kalo kita (cewe) aja yg adapt, then kita kehilangan jati diri kita donk? - you might ask that -
Hmm, girls, I am not an expert in this, but I can share my experience :)
Namun sebelumnya, tolong samakan persepsi, when I talk about guys (whether he is a prophet, priest, or king) - we talk about God-fearing men. Pria yg mengasihi Kristus dan punya kerinduan untuk menyerupai Kristus setiap hari.
Alright, bicara tentang jati diri, we (both men and women) - our goals adalah menjadi seperti Kristus dan menjalani kehendakNya! Jadi ketika kedua pasangan ada dalam pertandingan yg sama - we have the same goal.
And, we both know our own position - the head of man is Christ and the head of the woman is the man.
Jadi - goal kita jelas => Christlikeness, posisi juga jelas, rite?
So, ketika kita ber-adaptasi (yg mungkin kita takutkan), kita "hanya" beradaptasi dalam menyesuaikan kepentingan kita dgn pasangan, atau hobby, atau waktu, ataupun mungkin sedikit sifat/karakter (yg trust me, penyesuain karakter dgn pasangan akan akan akan menumbuhkan karakter yg makin cantik).
Jadi, tidak ada pasangan dalam Kristus (yg punya the same goal) yg ber-adaptasi tuk melawan perintah Tuhan.(jadi, jangan parno - jangan parno!)

Elisabeth Elliot dalam The Mark of a Man wrote this,
If you find a woman who is ready to go where you go and do what you do without brooding about being "her own person", you'll have found a treasure.
She will have to be a woman who has submitted herself to God, first of all, because otherwise she'll be listening to the insistent voices around her, telling her that she's got to be independent and autonomous, that she ought not to be "only" somebody's wife or somebody's mother, that she needs to seek fulfillment for herself and that can only be found beyond the bounds of home.
If, having submitted herself to God, she understands that what He had in mind when He made her was response - in order that both man and woman be fulfilled - she will be at peace with the arrangement.

Salah satu hal yg I learnt to adapt to my man adalah masalah waktu. As you might have read, a Priest man needs to be left alone to do his daily routine. Unlike a Prophet who is really consumed with his girl, or a King who always wants to know where his woman is - what she does, a Priest is content with his life. In my case, terlebih - we both are busy - and we are in long distance relationship. :$ and you know, girls - how hard it is. Perasaan spt he doesn't need me as I do -pun ada, since again he is a Priest, he is a man in demand. I don't own him all by myself.

Awal2, I expected much! hmm.. I understood that I needed to adapt - but, I thought didn't he need to adapt to my needs (more time and more me) too?
It's God's grace - really, 'til I finally realized it's me to adapt! 'coz I realized too what I thought "I needed" was simply "I wanted" -- and again, my goal is to love him unselfishly. It wasn't easy - I cried and I wasn't happy. But it's God's will, and so far it's been a very wonderful and beautiful journey, all by His grace <3 For He promised that we can do all things with Him who strengthen us. Termasuk to adapt to our partner one day! He provided me strength to adapt, and I know He will always do! It's only one thing, and I am still learning and still a lot work to do.

God wants to make us become a lovely help meet. To be a good one takes effort... lots of effort.

So, girls, ask yourself = are you willing to adapt?
(Again, I was talking about a responsible, reliable, loving, dependable God fearing man, oke?!)
Kalo Tuhan "mengirimkan" a King di pintu rumah-mu, are you ready to adapt to his 'controlling' yet really loving nature, to be humble and listen to him?
Or, if it's a Prophet, are you ready to support him, not to look down on him, to always stand by his side?
If it's a Priest, to have a gentle spirit, to share him with others and to serve people with him?

Debi Pearl wrote this "God is not impressed by our gifts, our types or our strengths. He is impressed by our willingness to abide by and appreciate his program by conforming to the needs of our man."

How will I know? Start now! Start to adapt to your parents, your siblings, your friends... Remember, the preparation is on progress!

PS. it isn't finished yet..haha.. to be continued "Why I should keep the options wide opened?" 'coz God knows better, next :)

Honor Your King, oh Adorable Queen!

I've shared to you these last weeks - The Three Types of Men - The First Type = The Prophet - The Second Type - The Priest.

Now, here we are girls..the last type of three ... => the KING, Mr. Command Man.

In this book, it's written that this man is extreme~! I've never quite understood what it was to be extreme 'til I heard the example my girl gave about the Kingly type!

Yes, one of my girls mentioned the most annoying guy we ever known, as Kingly type. He's so controlling, demanding! He shows everyone that his girlfriend (now, his wife) is his, and no one can ever have her (we're no longer be friends with her after they're together...huhu, posesif)

I know, it seems so extreme -- but he's really there, and don't worry, girls, he is definitely the extremely negative King! >.<

For me, personally - when I tried to think guys around me who are Kingly enough, to be honest with ya, I couldn't find any~! haha! But, but!!! I remember all the leaders on this planet earth! Extreme yeah!? Semua pemimpin yg hebat - para hamba Tuhan besar, ooh~~ they're blessed and trusted with the characters of our God the Father - dominant, sovereign, and in command!

And, why did I have a hard time to find guys around me? Because God created just a few! (And I didn't try hard enough..hahaha) Oh yeah, this world needs several leaders only with a lot of people to follow :)

King Triton is one of them :D

If You Fall in Love with The Priest

Alrighty, girls :D :D

Here's one of my favorite chapters of Preparing to be a Help Meet. Chapter 4: The Priest.

The chapter has so much red ink on it .. haha~! and I think, most of you girls will love this too -- or lebih tepatnya, most girls will fall in love with this kind of guy, the Steady Man :)

In fact, God created more men in this "image", the most steady and easygoing of the three types, not given to extremes. (so, tenang, stok-nya banyak..haha!)

The more I read about this man, the more I fall in love, the more I know that it is a lot to take to be his wife. Though among the three, this man will rarely push, pressure, force, or hurry you (yeeaah!) - He won't tell you what to do and serve him, like a Kingly man - nor will he want you to do what he is doing, like a Visionary man. He will simply want you to walk beside him, yet grow in your own right before God and man! (told you! haha, fall in love already with this guy?)

You are not gonna be alone, wifey - 'coz your husband will be liked by everyone! And seems to just let people use him. He is always ready to help people, he loves to serve. He belongs to people.

Now, you know what I am going to tell you ---

Here's the thing, girls~! God created us to be a help meet, means that we will need to learn to conform to our man.

If you are blessed with this man, one thing you need to do is to as active helping others as your husband is. Be ready to have a full of people in your house (yiiiiihaaaaa.. :D :D so learn now to make a lovely home!)

- and our steady man, he will really take his time to make up his mind! For we, who are impatient, it's not easy :$ so learn, to listen - to stand still, seek to always have a gentle spirit.

Yes, it's really true that he will appreciate your initiative. But, always have in mind, he is the leader. Don't be critical. Nor be controlling! He just wants peace, to be left alone to do his daily routine and enjoy the company of people who are not all fired up or critical.

Here's one thing I want to share (from me, not from the book). I am truly blessed with a 100% steady man :D (that's why I kept telling you, how much I am in love with this guy) ..haha- I am naturally impatient, I've been leaders in almost every organizations I involved, I take decision pretty quick. So, you know, it's not without struggle I need to wait for him. Kalo hal-nya cuma masalah kecil, I would ask ..."what do you think about this?" and I wait.

Kalo masalah besar, and I really know it's not my part to ask, I pray! and pray! Aku selalu bilang gini ke Tuhan .. "Lord, hal ini really bother me, tapi I know it's not my part to take the initiative. It's his part. Kalo memang Engkau bilang, 'sudah saatnya' biar Tuhan yg bicara, and he will tell me."

And believe me, girls! God works! at the perfect time! His time! not my time - nor his time. And u know what, waktu Tuhan ga pernah terlambat -- selalu paaaaaaaaas :D en pada saat-nya, ketika kita SUKSES wait and stand still, you will see the beauty of your relationship, that you know God is in it! You will love him more, 'coz you know it's His will for you to love him :)

(but you know, I am still learning - and I sometimes fail too, that's why I need Him, God who loves him more than I do) One verse that He kept telling me, Psalm 46:10 "be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for Him to act!" again, I would tell you => you will love how God works on His perfect time :D

The Priest kind a guy would love you to use your natural skills, abilities and drives. Your achievements will be an honor to him, but if you are lazy or slothful will greatly discourage him. A Priestly Man really values a resourceful, hardworking woman who shows dignity and honor. And be sufficient in all the tasks of daily living.

So, girls, start today learning to be creative and useful :D Don't eat the bread of idleness (oh, one of my faves P31) If you are busy and productive now, than you will be too after you got married.

'coz at the end of the day, he will weigh his accomplishment with yours - and will rejoice in the value of having a worthy partner in the grace of life.

His vision is as a man seeing life just as it is. Not focus on eternal picture - nor looking too details.

This Priest will most want to please his wife. So, be thankful :)

Oh, one more important thing too!!!!! He will not waste money nor take reckless chances. So, be wise on spending money, girls... (ooops)

Here's tambahan from a friend of mine who is married to a Priest:

Some women equate their husband’s wise caution and lack of open passion as being unspiritual. His lack of spontaneity and open boldness may look like indifference to spiritual things. However, he is like deep, deep water. The very depth makes the movement almost imperceptible, but it is, nevertheless, very strong.

Your husband will not talk much about spirituality - not like a Visionary man. Bukan karena dia tidak bicara hal rohani, juga tidak mengomentari hal2 rohani, tidak memimpin di depan (leading praise and worship, sharing etc) means he is not a Godly man. He is a man of action! Dia melakukan pelayanan yg tidak diliat orang. And dia melakukannya dengan setia.

So, kita harus me'luruskan pandangan kita terhadap Godly man itu. Accept him for who he is, for the man after God's heart who loves him on his own way, who is loyal to his family and his God.

So, dear girls, whether you are married to a Priest - or you are still preparing, let's use our time now to use our gifts to serve others, to be productive, and to learn to have a gentle spirit :)

what it takes to be a Prophet wife

I have 2 groups (at this moment - who knows it could be a whole large classroom..haha) discussing "Preparing to be a Help Meet" :D

one - my college friends. the other one - my churchy friends.

Tonite, I had chapter 3 with the first group - so, let me share what we had.

Chapter 3: the Prophet

as u might have read my excerpt about this man. he is a Visionary.

he loves confrontation, and hates status quo. he is consumed with a need to communicate with words, music, writing, art or actions. (he must be a really romantic guy..hoho~!)

he can love with a passion and be aggressively loyal to his friends and family. he can take the lead in calling the world to repentance and showing them a path of righteousness.

however, if they are not balanced, these Prophet/ Visionary types may get fanatically focused on one or two weird issues and, in the process, upset the entire family.

when i asked - if any of the girls will actually fall into this kind of guy, one of them said yes! haha :D

guess who?

since the question is a big IF -- what IF, all of us are married to the Prophet types!? how we adapt?

every Prophet needs a good, wise, prudent, stable wife who has a positive outlook on life.

remember - this guy is adventurous. he might have an idea of selling the house, quitting his job, then travelling around the world (sounds interesting, huh? REALLY?)

he will be subjective, thinking about feelings, moods and spiritual insights. so we need to be objective and use common sense.

he MIGHT spend money unwisely, leaving his wife feeling insecure. so we need to learn to be content with what we have.

he is a man of ideas, vision. he will talk. some idea might be crazy, some might be not.

so first, we need to listen!

and we are to talk, give opinions and not to "ARE YOU CRAZY?" him.

we need to practice how to speak up our mind - what we think from other point of view (less crazier, perhaps) with WISDOM and LOVE.

be flexible.

be loyal.

as any other men, he needs our supports! - though the whole world thinks he's out of mind, let him know that we are on his side.

without his supporting wife, he feels alone.

Thomas Edison was great after his 999th failure to make a light bulb. the 1st 'til 10th trial might be still exciting - but when it hit hundred-th, people started to think he was crazy! but aren't we thankful for him now?

our husband could be one of these crazy EDISONs.

so, enjoy the ride, girls and be prepared ;)

Preparing to be a Help Meet

I really suggest all single ladies to read this Debi Pearl's book.

Rather than consuming our time to wait idly for our Prince Charmings to come along, let's redeem our time to be prepared.

Reading this book is one way to prepare ourselves :)

'coz it will show you more practical ways how to use your single time and be a Princess yourself.

So, here's my "marked with red ink" part of the book that I typed with my super slow typing speed to you.

Just to share a tiny blessing I got from the book, and hopefully you want to read it yourself and got more blessings, as I did.

Be blessed, girls :)

<3 You spend your time pining away for your one true love and suddenly.. you're married, and it is a lot more than you bargained for. Now is the hour you should be preparing to be a wife - to be a help meet. God wants to make you become a lovely help meet, but to be a good one takes effort... lots of effort <3

<3 Is there a young man that you have met in passing that you thought would be a good husband? Have you been praying for him by name? Pray that he will be strong. Pray that he will walk faithfully.

<3 Her face constantly reflected joy and active interest in life and ministry. This is very appealing in a female.

<3 I always disregarded any girl I ever saw flirting or hanging onto a guy's arm.

<3 Let's look at how she approached knowing God's will:

- She was busy walking with God and praying for wisdom through her youth.

- She didn't chase him down.

- She sought out her parents and another older counselor for support and prayer.

- She prayed and fasted, asking God for wisdom and direction.

- She was open to considering him because he had proved himself righteous.

There are 3 types of men mentioned in this book :

Prophet (Mr. Visionary), Priest (Mr. Steady Man) and King (Mr. Command Man),

that you really want to read it yourself ;)

(actually I had typed what I red-lined on the book, but my Priest pages have much more red ink than other pages :$ :$, so I decided to just share a much better (more balance and objective..haha) excerpt. Enjoy the reading!!)

Being a really good help meet requires:

1. a heart to do God's will

2. a basic understanding of God's requirements as revealed in his Word.

3. wisdom.

<3 Keep in mind that your mother is not the enemy. She is Mom. She is the one who cared for you when you were sick; she is the one who believed in you when you were down. She is the one who would have given her very life for you if you were in need, but, because she is Mom, she will be the first to speak out when she thinks you might be hurting. Treasure her for the wonderful friend that she is, but remember, once you are married your allegiance changes.

Until then, be wise, be loving, be patient with your mother, and stand by your man.

<3 Some men are slower to come to see their need for us tender sweeties than others, but most all men finally come to a place where they are genuinely lonely and want a mate.

<3 You were hard-wired with the overwhelming need to be a wife and mother. It is a God-given need that only a man can fulfill. I can't think of one think of one thing I would rather to have than a man to really love me. It is supreme. A lovely person is easy to love. That is our goal. God wants to make you a lovely help meet. To be a good one takes effort... lots of effort.

<3 There are also 3 types of women mentioned in this book: Dreamers, Servants, Go-to Gals

Dreamers

<3 Don't get involved in projects that take you away from your responsibility to honor your husband. Spend your youth honing down your gifts and developing skills.

The Servant

<3 She is a peacemaker, kind and considerate.

Maintain your individuality and develop your gifts. Always keep in mind that it is good to be an Encourager, but not good to be an Enabler. An Encourager helps people better themselves. An Enabler does things for people that they should be doing for themselves, healing their self-inflicted wounds and sympathizing with their poor vices to the point that they are enabled to continue their negative behavior without facing the consequences or assuming responsibility to change.

A female example would be Ruth who faithfully served her mother in law.

The Go-to Gal

<3 She is strong, capable, and gives a sense of taking care of the greater number of people. Go-to Gals ooze with confidence, have strong opinions, and do well organizing people.

<3 A woman's need to be cared for causes her to be drawn to a man who makes her feel secure.

<3 God designed the woman to be sensitive and vulnerable for the sake of the little ones whom she must nurture. The soul of a mother must be quick to feel, to hurt, to love, to have compassion, to take in the broken, and to believe the best.

<3 Male and female together complete the image of our Creator, but we are vastly different. We each carry a strength and a weakness. Our roles were designed around these strengths and weaknesses. Neither can perform the role of the other well.

<3 God is not impressed by our gifts, our types, or our strengths. He is impressed by our willingness to abide by and appreciate his program by conforming to the needs of our man.

How to spot a prophet!

This kind of male will focus on pursuing excellence in areas such as music, art, or even computer science, but they are more likely to launch out into frontier research and find something different from the status quo. They will be prone to talk in extreme depth about one subject until they dissect every part and discover something no one else has never thought about.

How to spot a priest! <3 <3 <3

You will spot him because he likes to do things for people. Everyone calls him when there is a need, because he is nice to have around.

He usually makes a good daddy and provider. Any girl that has been in difficult relationship thinks this type of man is heaven-sent.

He is the kind of man "you need to get to know" to really find out that he is indeed fascinating.

All men seem to bloom after they marry (if their wives are of one spirit with them) into a stronger, better vision of what they were as single men.

A good woman serving him will bring out the MAN in him.

How to spot a king!

Not all King types have gifts in teaching, preaching, or directing a large company, but they do have a natural tendency to lead. This type is always being judged because they are the men who take charge.

<3 Married life is not all romance and passion - maybe five percent. The rest of your time is devoted to the routine of living. There will be unexpected trials and burdens that will catch you and your sweetie totally by surprise. Whether your family, not to mention your passion, survives life's curveballs depends on knowledge....yours.

<3 Life is not that complicated. There are only a few simple principles that God set into place that make the whole process not just run smoothly, but really fly.

<3 Many girls waste their youth by being entertained with movies or novels, shopping, playing the social game, yakking on the phone, texting, etc., or just lying around waiting for one of these things to happen.

And so their life stays limited for lack of knowledge, understanding and wisdom.

<3 As a single girl, actively pursue an aggressive life of ministry, learning and serving.

<3 Be patient and wait on the Lord (and your man).

<3 I had delighted myself in the Lord. I knew he would give me the desires of my heart. He so promised in Psalm 37:4. I remained full of peace and delight.

<3 And when it comes to Prince Charming, don't be a flirt and don't get frustrated at his slow approach. Don't try to push him to commit before he is ready. Be prepared to wait.

<3 We now have a daughter, and my dream for my daughter is that she would grow up to be just like her mother - joyful pure, confident, diligent, and content.

<3 The kind of female you are will determine the kind of male you attract.

<3 A princess will not be a come-on, neither will she stay hidden. She will be busy, productive, and her life will have purpose, and her purpose will not be just to get married.

<3 Patience is crucial. Even when a little pressure is kind, polite, and thoughtful, it is still taking control.

<3 How we expect to find a wonderful Christian spouse when all we do is go to church, go to work, and go to an occasional happy hour.

Run fast and hard after Jesus and look to the left or the right and marry the person who is at your side.

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. (proverbs 3:6)

<3 Sometimes the only way you can know what you want is to find out what you don't want.

<3 God taught us that to have happily ever after you must be a giver instead of a taker. Then God gives and gives and gives.

<3 If you continue in the sin of bitterness or speaking badly of a fellow believer, and you don't have any fear of God doing weird or scary things to you, then you'd better check your relationship with eternal God. Chances are you don't have one... a relationship, that is. He does not let believers continue in sin.

<3 Are you preparing to be that kind of wife? How?

1. Obedience is doing what you know your husband wants you to do.

2. Submission is giving your heart over to your husband’s will.

3. Reverence is more than just doing your man expect or demands. It is the attitude that results from truly believing your husband holds a divine position of leadership, and regarding him with a high degree of awe.

<3 Don't take for granted that you can pitch a fit, treat a man with contempt, demand control of the money, and still have your man desperately in love with you.

<3 A man has propensity to sin with his body; a female's sins are more in attitude and words.

<3 Only when a girl learns to control her need to tear down, when she lets people go unmolested by her "truthful" information, will she begin to grow as a person. Every argument, every misunderstanding, every hurt feeling - every black depression stems from someone "supposing" another meant evil toward them, used them, thought offensively toward them, or whatever else the mind contrives. Imagine being free from all these misapprehensions! You can be free.

<3 Believe it or not, there is another world where people love one another and there are no feelings of bitterness toward anyone, where one never imagines that another is thinking ill of them, a world of daily peace and contentment.

<3 Ask God to give you the wisdom to clear your soul of this plague of negative thoughts.

Fill your soul with the beauty of a good thought-life.

<3 A pure heart and mind is one of the most important elements you will bring into your life and marriage.

What say the men?

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<3 Make sure she feels blessed that you have chosen her. Keep searching until you find with the most valuable of all character traits: a thankful heart.

<3 A girl that laughs and enjoys life, bubbles with joy, and just seems satisfied with her life - that's what I looked for in my wife.

<3 It is not that one woman has a wonderful life and the other has nothing but misery; it is that one sees life through the eyes of thankfulness and the other through a heart of discontentment. A downcast attitude is a dishonor to God and your husband to-be.

<3 Commit to memory such great verses as Philippians 4:11, "..for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." Then 1 Timothy 6:6, "But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out."

<3 Life is a choice.

You choose to honor God by cheerfully going his way, which is the way of thanksgiving, joy, honoring, and obeying your husband, serving others, showing kind responses, not taking offense, being chaste in your conversation and lifestyle, and having ears to hear and a heart to change.

<3 A thankful heart is manifested in her speech; it is written on her smiling face, and it is expressed in the way she serves others. God loves thankfulness.

<3 The most important thing to me is that my wife does not have a critical spirit toward me. She does not keep a "weighed-in-the-balance" score card like some ladies do.

<3 What kind of woman did God give me? The very, very best. She is the most willing servant I could ever imagine.

<3 Learn any other skill you have a chance to learn. The Proverbs 31 woman, she knew sewing, weaving, buying and selling property, street vending, cloth dyeing, planting of vineyards, dealing with the sick and poor, and many other things.

<3 There have been financial hard times, and we have done without; but she stands by me, she works with me, she laughs away our trials, and she loves me oh-so-tenderly. I've got goose pimples just thinking about her. Lord, thank you for this woman. I am so blessed.

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I bought the book here, it's free shipping WORLDWIDE, yeah rite, including Indonesia :D

when God brings back my past

April 6th, 2011

Are u familiar with “I hope he is my first and my last”, girls? I believe most of us ever had that thought! At least, I did!

Krn, tentu-nya pada umumnya, ketika kita commit tuk menjalani suatu hubungan, kita berharap kalo the relationship will last.. *I am talking about serious relationship * I am pretty sure, kita ga ada rencana putus!

But, the thing is tidak semua orang berkesempatan menikah dgn her first boyfriend.

Tidak semua orang berkesempatan mengetahui (dan mengerti) sejak dia kecil – ketika apa yg namanya “cinta” sudah mulai menaburkan benihnya di hati – bahwa pacaran itu untuk something serious – bukan hanya sekedar “teman saya sudah punya pacar, saya juga harus!” – or - bukan karena “kalo saya tidak pacaran, tar dipikir saya tidak laku, so lebih baik saya terima siapapun yg nembak saya” – atau - “masa saya harus sendirian pas attend sweet 17th party or prom nite?” – ataupun – karena “kata orang, hidup hanya sekali, jadi explore lah selagi kamu bisa, toh ga ada ruginya pacaran”.

Tidak semua orang berkesempatan diajarkan ataupun mendengar pengalaman pahit dari orang yg lebih tua bahwa “pacaran hanya dengan fondasi suka sama suka (baca = cinta sejati) itu tetap ada kesempatan putus” … dan tidak semua orang, for sure, mengetahui dari awal bahwa yg dibilang “lebih baik sakit gigi daripada sakit hati” itu adalah FAKTA!

Ya, beberapa orang, atau mungkin sebagian besar orang menikah dengan pacar-nya yg kesekian.

*Untuk-ku pribadi tentunya, I hope he is my second and my last. *

Bagiku, “berkesempatan” saying “he was my first and certainly not my last” adalah masa2 pergumulan dan kehancuran terhebat *sejauh ini* setelah kematian my grannie.

Seminggu belakangan ini, karena satu hal, membuat pikiranku cukup kacau ttg my relationship skrg *dan actually, membuat hatiku cukup sakit*, not being able to share my feelings with anyone,

(“Many times I have been forced to my knees, realizing there was no other place to go”. –Abraham Lincoln-)

aku menuangkan hatiku dan menceritakan semuanya ke Tuhan – dari yg tidak tau apa2 *mengapa, apa dan bagaimana”, pelan-pelan dia bukakan “what’s actually going on with me?”

it’s not that my relationship was in trouble, tapi justru karena my relationship skrg is such a blessing, and I thank about it everyday-lah, aku jadi "kacau".

Then, aku realized, yg membuat-ku luar biasa kacau, adalah karena aku takut gagal! Aku takut kalo segala sesuatu yg indah harus berakhir dst… PARNO abiz :$ aku yang “huhu, mengapa harus ada yg namanya kegagalan di masa lalu? Kalo harus gagal, mengapa aku harus pacaran at the first place“

I felt helpless, I shouted… “I NEED HELP!!”

And what amazing God He is, saat itu juga, aku buka “My Utmost for His Highest”, and u wouldn’t believe what’s written there……

Never be afraid when God brings back your past. Let your memory have its way with you. It is a minister of God bringing its rebuke and sorrow to you. God will turn what might have been into a wonderful lesson of growth for the future.

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Seketika itu juga, badaiku Dia tenangkan.. Dia, Allah yg menjawab kegalauan hatiku when I needed it the most – Dia reminded me once again, "everything is under My control, Eyn!"

Dear, girls, of course, “sepertinya” semua akan lebih indah – bila tidak pernah ada yg namanya hancur hati karena putus cinta, namun bukan berarti hidup kita akan hancur berantakan, dan kita tidak akan punya next relationship yg jauh lebih indah.

*aku bilang “sepertinya”, karena aku tidak lagi mengerti apa itu rasanya kalo aku tidak pernah mengalami patah hati, yg ku rasakan saat ini adalah Tuhan sungguh bekerja luar biasa sepanjang hidupku – walau aku tidak berkesempatan to have my first boyfriend to be my last. *

Mungkin saja, seandainya saat itu (13 tahun yang lalu), aku tidak membiarkan perasaan hati bergejolak menguasai pikiranku *kalo P. Tong bilang – pacaran masa remaja adalah pacaran paling murni, karena mereka hanya lihat cinta, bukan karir, bukan kedudukan, bukan materi. Dan aku meng-AMIN-i hal itu* -- seandainya saat itu, aku bisa konsul dulu ke hamba Tuhan – or seandainya saat itu, aku taat ke mama “masi kecil, jangan pacaran dulu!” – mungkin aku tidak perlu mengalami hancur hati!

BUT GOD, Dia Allah yang bekerja dalam segala sesuatu * baik dalam kesalahanku * untuk mendatangkan kebaikan bagiku.(Roma 8:28)

I am not suggesting you to “kalo gitu, coba aja, pacaran lah – toh kalo salah, Tuhan bekerja kok!!!” NO!!!!

yg aku mau katakan adalah, walaupun kita gagal – selalu ada yg Tuhan mampu kerjakan tuk mendatangkan kebaikan bagi kita.

Yes, ada kesalahan, ada konsekuensi, ada sakit parah~~! Tapi ketika kita mau bertekuk lutut – menyerah di hadapan Tuhan, Dia akan mengganti tangis kita menjadi sukacita besar.

Kegagalanku membuatku menyadari – bahwa cinta yg murni sekalipun tidak cukup untuk menjaga suatu relationship, hanya Allah-lah yg mampu. Ya, I did put my confidence in my love, not in Him.

Pengalaman ku berpacaran masa remaja, membuatku mampu bilang ke adik2ku di remaja …”mengapa sebaiknya tidak pacaran saat remaja, bukan karena cici jago secara teori, tapi karena cici pernah praktek secara langsung dan cici harus bayar mahal.”

Hancur-nya hatiku membuatku melihat mujizat Tuhan yg luar biasa – dari sebuah hati yg sepertinya tidak ada harapan untuk pulih, menjadi sebuah hati baru yg mampu mengasihi kembali. I said it again, for me, it’s a miracle.

Aku experienced setiap kata dari lagu “Sentuh Hatiku” *lagu2 di awal putus cinta*

Betapa ku mencintai segala yg tlah terjadi, tak pernah sendiri jalani hidup ini selalu menyertai.

Betapa ku menyadari, di dalam hidupku ini, Kau selalu memberi rancangan yg terbaik oleh karena kasih.

Bapa, sentuh hatiku, ubah hidupku menjadi yg baru, bagai emas yg murni Kau membentuk bejana hatiku

Bapa, ajar ku mengerti semua kasih yg selalu memberi, bagai air mengalir, yg tiada pernah berhenti.

Dan, kesempatan ku menjadi single lagi – adalah masa2 Tuhan menyatakan kembali nilai dirku di hadapanNya, siapa aku, dan apa yg Dia mau kerjakan dalam hidupku. *nah, ini juga kenapa, adik2ku sayang, kenapa cici anjurkan “jgn pacaran dulu skrg” – krn kalian butuh waktu tuk kenal dirimu …. * dan really, aku sangat bersyukur akan hal ini.

So, dear girls…..dimanapun posisi mu saat ini…

Entah kamu masi mampu berharap that your guy would be your first and last… bersyukurlah akan that privilege, ikuti waktu Tuhan karena saat ini adalah redeeming time, waktu yg tidak akan pernah kembali.

Atau…

Kamu baru saja mengucapkan “selamat jalan cita2ku” – ijinkan Tuhan masuk dalam hati-mu dan meng-operasi bagian terintim dalam hidup mu. Don’t let other man to fix your heart, it is His!

Here’s why = hanya Tuhan yg mampu mengobati hati kita, karena Dia lah yg created it. AND, you want to love your next guy with hatimu yg utuh – bukan dengan hatimu yg hancur. Kalo Justin Bieber bilang “I just need somebody to love!” yeah .. we need somebody to love, TAPI, dgn hati yg sudah mengampuni – dgn hati yg sudah dipulihkan – dgn hati yg siap tuk mengasihi dgn kasih yg murni.

It took me years ..haha (well, waktu semua orang tidak sama). Awal2, aku tutup hatiku – I let Him to operate it, and pada saat it’s ready – aku ikut maunya Dia – dan aku merasakan lagi indahnya mengasihi seperti cinta pertama…

(bahkan dengan lebih indah, karena hatiku semakin terasah to memancarkan kasih yg lebih murni *dan Allah tidak pernah berhenti bekerja, I constantly pray to Him to purify my heart so I could love unselfishly* )

Lupakan yg dunia bilang "satu2 caranya tuk melupakan mantan pacar adalah dengan mendapat pacar baru" -- itu berarti, kita membawa luka ke dalam suatu hubungan yg baru. You don't want that!

Really, girls, Dia mampu melakukan miracle dalam hati kita!! He is the Creator! And, ur man (ur future husband) deserves hati kita yg utuh dan yg sudah dipulihkan. It’s not his job, once again I would say, to fix your heart. Serahkan kepada ahlinya, the Creator!

Atau…

Kamu (seperti aku) sedang tahap mendoakan cowo kedua-mu, or ketiga, or seterusnya to be your last! Jadikan kegagalan / kesalahan / pengalaman kita to menjadi sthing really wonderful for our future. Don’t be afraid and ga perlu pula menyesali “kenapa aku bodoh dulu? Kenapa aku salah dulu?” – dan - marilah, ajarilah adik2 kita kegagalan / kesalahan / pengalaman kita. Karena, really, there are reasons mengapa kita harus mengalami itu semua, buat ku, salah satunya – supaya aku bisa share things kepada adik2ku yg kukasihi – dan nanti kelak ke anak2ku.

DAN …

Kalau kamu adalah anak2 sekolah minggu cici……………… Cerita2 ke cici ;) ayuk!

<3 All by His grace <3