Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The Three Types of Men

I didn't write it myself, I had it on my word documents (copied - pasted) long time ago - when I searched about "I couldn't remember" and I found it's really useful and practical to get a better understanding about men, or our men.. and help us to learn how to adapt (if we're willing) to our men :)



Mr. Command Man

God is dominant — a sovereign and all-powerful God. He is also visionary— omniscient and desirous of carrying out his plans. And, God is steady — the same yesterday, and today, and forever, our faithful High Priest. Most men epitomize one of these three aspects of God. No single man completely expresses the well-rounded image of God.

A few men are born with more than their share of dominance and, on the surface, a deficit in gentleness. They often end up in positions that command other men. We will call them Command Men. They are born leaders. They are often chosen by other men to be military commanders, politicians, preachers, heads of corporations, and managers of businesses. Winston Churchill, George Patton, and Ronald Reagan are examples of dominant men. Since our world needs only a few leaders, God seems to limit the number of these Command Men. These men see life as if they are looking from a high mountain, they see the big picture rather than individual needs.

They are known for expecting their wives to wait on them hand and foot. A Command Man does not want his wife involved in any project that prevents her from serving him. If you are blessed to be married to a strong, forceful, bossy man, as I am, then it is very important for you learn how to make an appeal without challenging his authority. We will discuss how to make an appeal later in this book.

Command Men have less tolerance, so they will often walk off and leave their clamoring wife before she has a chance to realize that she is even close to losing her marriage. By the time she realizes that there is a serious problem, she is already a divorced mother seeking help in how to raise her children alone. A woman can fight until she is blue in the face, yet the Command Man will not yield. Yielding would be against his personhood. He is not as intimate or vulnerable as are other men in sharing hi s personal feelings or vocation with his wife. He seems to be sufficient unto himself. It is awful being shut out. A woman married to a Command Man has to earn her place in his heart by proving that she will stand by her man, faithful, loyal, and obedient. When she has won his confidence, he will treasure her to the extreme.

A King wants a Queen, which is why a man in command wants a faithful wife to share his fame and glory. Without a woman’s admiration, his victories are muted. If a wife learns early to enjoy the benefits of taking the second seat, and if she does not take offense to his headstrong aggressiveness, she will be the one sitting at his right side being adored, because this kind of man will totally adore his woman and exalt her. She will be his closest, and sometimes his only, confidante. Over the years, the Command Man can become more yielding and gentle. His wife will discover secret portals to his heart.

If you are married to a king, honor and reverence is something you must give him on a daily basis if you want him to be a benevolent, honest, strong, and fulfilled man of God. He has the potential to become an amazing leader. Never shame him, and do not belittle him or ignore his accomplishments. Make it your life’s goal to become his queen.

Mr. Visionary

God is a Visionary as seen in his person, the Holy Spirit. He made some men in the image of that part of his nature. Prophets, be they true or false, are usually of this type. Some of you are married to men who are shakers, changers, and dreamers. These men get the entire family upset about peripheral issues, such as: do we believe in Christmas? Should we use state marriage licenses? Should a Christian opt out of the Social Security system? The issues may be serious and worthy of one’s commitment, but, in varying degrees, these men have tunnel vision, tenaciously focusing on single issues. They are often the church splitters and the ones who demand doctrinal purity and proper dress and conduct. Like a prophet, they call people to task for their inconsistencies. If they are not wise, they can be real jerks who push their agendas, forcing others to go their way.

Visionaries are often gifted men or inventors, and I am sure it was men of this caliber that conquered the Wild West, though they would not have been the farmers who settled it. Today, Visionary men are street preachers, political activists, organizers and instigators of any front-line social issue. They love confrontation, and hate the status quo. “Why leave it the way it is when you can change it?” They are the men who keep the rest of the world from getting stagnant or dull. The Visionary is consumed with a need to communicate with his words, music, writing, voice, art, or actions. He is the “voice crying out in the wilderness” striving to change the way humanity is behaving or thinking. Good intentions don’t always keep Visionaries from causing great harm. They can stir up pudding and end up with toxic waste if they are not wise. An unwise wife can add to the poison with negative words, or she can, with simple words of caution, bring attention to the goodness of the pudding and the wisdom in leaving it alone. Every Mr.Visionary needs a good, wise, prudent, stable wife who has a positive outlook on life.

The wife of Mr.Visionary should be just a little bit reckless and blind in one eye if she is going to enjoy the ride. If this is your man, you need to learn two very important things (beyond how to make an appeal). Learn how to be flexible, and learn how to always be loyal to your man. You will be amazed at how much happier you will be and how much fun life can be if you learn to just go with the flow — his flow. Life will become an adventure. You will actually begin to feel sorry for the gals married to the stick-in-the-mud, steady type. And once you get it into your head that your husband does not have to be “right” for you to follow him, you will FINALLY be able to say “bye bye” to your overwrought parents, even when they are screaming that you are married to a crazy man. People looking on will marvel that you are able to love and appreciate your husband, but you will know better because you will see his greatness.

Greatness is a state of soul, not certain accomplishments. Over time, this type of man will become more practical. If you are a young wife married to a man whom your mama thinks is totally crazy — then you may be married to Mr. Visionary. Right now, purpose in your heart to be loyal to him, and to be flexible; then, let your dreamer dream. Lean back and enjoy the ride; it should prove interesting. Visionary Man will talk and talk and talk to his honey if she approves of him. He will be subjective, thinking about feelings, moods, and spiritual insights. One of his greatest needs will be for his wife to think objectively (proven truth) and use common sense, which will help keep his feet from flying too far from solid ground. He spends his life looking through a telescope or microscope, and he will be stunned that what he sees (or thinks he sees), others do not seem to notice or care about.

Mr. Steady

God is as steady as an eternal rock, caring, providing, and faithful, like a priest like Jesus Christ. He created many men in that image. We will call him Mr. Steady — “in the middle, not given to extremes.” The Steady Man does not make snap decisions or spend his last dime on a new idea, and he doesn’t try to tell other people what to do. He avoids controversy.

Being married to a Steady Man has its rewards and its trials. On the good side, your husband never puts undue pressure on you to perform miracles. He doesn’t expect you to be his servant. You do not spend your days putting out emotional fires, because he doesn’t create tension in the family. You rarely feel hurried, pushed, pressured, or forced. The women married to Visionary Men look at you in wonder that your husband seems so balanced and stable. The wife of Command Man marvels at the free time you seem to have. If your dad happened to be a Steady Man, then chances are you will appreciate your husband’s down-to-earth, practical life for the wonderful treasure it is.

When you are married to a man who is steady and cautious, and you have a bit of the impatient romantic in you, you may not see his worth and readily honor him. You may be discontent because he is slow and cautious to take authority or make quick decisions. A bossy woman sees her husband’s lack of hasty judgment and calls her Steady husband “wishy-washy.” His steadiness makes him the last to change, so he seems to be a follower because he is seldom out front forming up the troops. There is no exciting rush in him, just a slow, steady climb with no bells or whistles. You wish he would just make up his mind, and that he would take a stand in the church. He seems to just let people use him. There are times you wish he would boldly tell you what to do so you would not have to carry all the burden of decision-making.

Some women equate their husband’s wise caution and lack of open passion as being unspiritual. His lack of spontaneity and open boldness may look like indifference to spiritual things. However, he is like deep, deep water. The very depth makes the movement almost imperceptible, but it is, nevertheless, very strong.

He will be confused with your unhappiness and try to serve you more, which may further diminish your respect for his masculinity. Disappointment and unthankfulness can make you wearier than any amount of duties. His very steadiness keeps him on his middle-of-the-road course, and it will drive a controlling woman crazy.

This is why many disgruntled ladies married to Mr. Steadys fall victim to hormonal imbalance, physical illness, or emotional problems.

Know Your Man

Wives are very much flesh and blood, and as young women, we don’t come to marriage with all the skills needed to make it start out good, let alone perfect. When you come to know your man for whom God created him to be, you will stop trying to change him into what you think he should be. The key is to know your man. If he is Mr. Steady, you need to learn to be thankful and to honor him as the one created for you in the image of God. Your husband’s gentleness is not a weakness; it is his strength. Your husband’s hesitation is not indecision; it is cautious wisdom. Your husband’s lack of deep spiritual conversation is not a lack of caring; it is simply the cap on a mountain of intense emotions.

If this describes your man, you need to learn how to stand still and listen; then let God move your husband in his own good time. Ask God for wisdom and patience. Seek to always have a gentle spirit. Stop expecting him to perform for you, to pray with the family, to speak out in witnessing, or to take a bold stand at church. Stop trying to stir him up to anger toward the children in order to get him to feel as though he understands how badly you are being treated. Let him be the one God made him to be: a still, quiet, thoughtful presence — for you!

A Steady Man likes a woman to walk beside him, yet grow in her own right before God and him.

He needs a resourceful, hardworking woman with dignity and honor. It is important to Mr. Steady that his wife is able to be self-sufficient in all the mundane tasks of daily living.

These men can be some of the most important men in the church, because their steadfastness is sure, and their loyalty is strong. They make wise, well-thought-out decisions.

Typically, Steady Men do not become as well known as Command or Visionary Men. They are not odd or stand-out men. They are not loud. They are neither irritating nor particularly magnificent. Women and men alike envy and desire a Command Man. People are often drawn and compelled by the Visionary. But the Steady Man is taken for granted

Much of this book has been written to help young wives learn to honor, obey, and appreciate the Steady Man just as he is.

Mr. Steady will enjoy the company of others and be most comfortable spending time in small talk with whoever is around. Of the three types, he is the one that will be most liked by everyone. Mr. Steady is always in demand. He belongs to people. He does not focus on the eternal picture like Mr. Command, nor is he looking through a microscope as Mr. Visionary, but he does respect both views as important. His vision is as a man seeing life just as it is. He can shift his sights to the sky and know there is more up there than he can see, and he wonders about it. Or, he can stare into a muddy pond and appreciate that there is a whole world in there that he knows nothing about. In most of life, he is a bridge between the other two types of men. He is a very necessary expression of God’s image. Of the three different kinds of men, it is more important that Mr. Steady have a help meet who likes him just as he is.


I can't wait to read the book, honestly, but I decided to wait after I got married :$ and just be content and try to put into practice what I learnt from "Preparing to be a Help Meet" for unmarried (and married) women version of this book.

I bought one for my married sister, tho :$ from "bookdepository"

it's free shipping WORLDWIDE!! hoho! An answer prayer, I could get books in Indonesia :D :D

Preparing to be a Help Meet

I really suggest all single ladies to read this Debi Pearl's book.
Rather than consuming our time to wait idly for our Prince Charmings to come along, let's redeem our time to be prepared.
Reading this book is one way to prepare ourselves :)
'coz it will show you more practical ways how to use your single time and be a Princess yourself.

So, here's my "marked with red ink" part of the book that I typed with my super slow typing speed to you.
Just to share a tiny blessing I got from the book, and hopefully you want to read it yourself and got more blessings, as I did.

Be blessed, girls :)

<3 You spend your time pining away for your one true love and suddenly.. you're married, and it is a lot more than you bargained for. Now is the hour you should be preparing to be a wife - to be a help meet. God wants to make you become a lovely help meet, but to be a good one takes effort... lots of effort <3

<3 Is there a young man that you have met in passing that you thought would be a good husband? Have you been praying for him by name? Pray that he will be strong. Pray that he will walk faithfully.

<3 Her face constantly reflected joy and active interest in life and ministry. This is very appealing in a female.

<3 I always disregarded any girl I ever saw flirting or hanging onto a guy's arm.

<3 Let's look at how she approached knowing God's will:
- She was busy walking with God and praying for wisdom through her youth.
- She didn't chase him down.
- She sought out her parents and another older counselor for support and prayer.
- She prayed and fasted, asking God for wisdom and direction.
- She was open to considering him because he had proved himself righteous.

There are 3 types of men mentioned in this book :
Prophet (Mr. Visionary), Priest (Mr. Steady Man) and King (Mr. Command Man),
that you really want to read it yourself ;)
(actually I had typed what I red-lined on the book, but my Priest pages have much more red ink than other pages :$ :$, so I decided to just share a much better (more balance and objective..haha) excerpt. Enjoy the reading!!)

Being a really good help meet requires:
1. a heart to do God's will
2. a basic understanding of God's requirements as revealed in his Word.
3. wisdom.

<3 Keep in mind that your mother is not the enemy. She is Mom. She is the one who cared for you when you were sick; she is the one who believed in you when you were down. She is the one who would have given her very life for you if you were in need, but, because she is Mom, she will be the first to speak out when she thinks you might be hurting. Treasure her for the wonderful friend that she is, but remember, once you are married your allegiance changes.
Until then, be wise, be loving, be patient with your mother, and stand by your man.

<3 Some men are slower to come to see their need for us tender sweeties than others, but most all men finally come to a place where they are genuinely lonely and want a mate.

<3 You were hard-wired with the overwhelming need to be a wife and mother. It is a God-given need that only a man can fulfill. I can't think of one think of one thing I would rather to have than a man to really love me. It is supreme. A lovely person is easy to love. That is our goal. God wants to make you a lovely help meet. To be a good one takes effort... lots of effort.

<3 There are also 3 types of women mentioned in this book: Dreamers, Servants, Go-to Gals

<3 Don't get involved in projects that take you away from your responsibility to honor your husband. Spend your youth honing down your gifts and developing skills.

The Servant
<3 She is a peacemaker, kind and considerate.
Maintain your individuality and develop your gifts. Always keep in mind that it is good to be an Encourager, but not good to be an Enabler. An Encourager helps people better themselves. An Enabler does things for people that they should be doing for themselves, healing their self-inflicted wounds and sympathizing with their poor vices to the point that they are enabled to continue their negative behavior without facing the consequences or assuming responsibility to change.
A female example would be Ruth who faithfully served her mother in law.

The Go-to Gal
<3 She is strong, capable, and gives a sense of taking care of the greater number of people. Go-to Gals ooze with confidence, have strong opinions, and do well organizing people.

<3 A woman's need to be cared for causes her to be drawn to a man who makes her feel secure.

<3 God designed the woman to be sensitive and vulnerable for the sake of the little ones whom she must nurture. The soul of a mother must be quick to feel, to hurt, to love, to have compassion, to take in the broken, and to believe the best.

<3 Male and female together complete the image of our Creator, but we are vastly different. We each carry a strength and a weakness. Our roles were designed around these strengths and weaknesses. Neither can perform the role of the other well.

<3 God is not impressed by our gifts, our types, or our strengths. He is impressed by our willingness to abide by and appreciate his program by conforming to the needs of our man.

How to spot a prophet!
This kind of male will focus on pursuing excellence in areas such as music, art, or even computer science, but they are more likely to launch out into frontier research and find something different from the status quo. They will be prone to talk in extreme depth about one subject until they dissect every part and discover something no one else has never thought about.

How to spot a priest! <3 <3 <3
You will spot him because he likes to do things for people. Everyone calls him when there is a need, because he is nice to have around.
He usually makes a good daddy and provider. Any girl that has been in difficult relationship thinks this type of man is heaven-sent.
He is the kind of man "you need to get to know" to really find out that he is indeed fascinating.
All men seem to bloom after they marry (if their wives are of one spirit with them) into a stronger, better vision of what they were as single men.
A good woman serving him will bring out the MAN in him.

How to spot a king!
Not all King types have gifts in teaching, preaching, or directing a large company, but they do have a natural tendency to lead. This type is always being judged because they are the men who take charge.

<3 Married life is not all romance and passion - maybe five percent. The rest of your time is devoted to the routine of living. There will be unexpected trials and burdens that will catch you and your sweetie totally by surprise. Whether your family, not to mention your passion, survives life's curveballs depends on knowledge....yours.

<3 Life is not that complicated. There are only a few simple principles that God set into place that make the whole process not just run smoothly, but really fly.

<3 Many girls waste their youth by being entertained with movies or novels, shopping, playing the social game, yakking on the phone, texting, etc., or just lying around waiting for one of these things to happen.
And so their life stays limited for lack of knowledge, understanding and wisdom.

<3 As a single girl, actively pursue an aggressive life of ministry, learning and serving.

<3 Be patient and wait on the Lord (and your man).

<3 I had delighted myself in the Lord. I knew he would give me the desires of my heart. He so promised in Psalm 37:4. I remained full of peace and delight.

<3 And when it comes to Prince Charming, don't be a flirt and don't get frustrated at his slow approach. Don't try to push him to commit before he is ready. Be prepared to wait.

<3 We now have a daughter, and my dream for my daughter is that she would grow up to be just like her mother - joyful pure, confident, diligent, and content.

<3 The kind of female you are will determine the kind of male you attract.

<3 A princess will not be a come-on, neither will she stay hidden. She will be busy, productive, and her life will have purpose, and her purpose will not be just to get married.

<3 Patience is crucial. Even when a little pressure is kind, polite, and thoughtful, it is still taking control.

<3 How we expect to find a wonderful Christian spouse when all we do is go to church, go to work, and go to an occasional happy hour.
Run fast and hard after Jesus and look to the left or the right and marry the person who is at your side.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. (proverbs 3:6)

<3 Sometimes the only way you can know what you want is to find out what you don't want.

<3 God taught us that to have happily ever after you must be a giver instead of a taker. Then God gives and gives and gives.

<3 If you continue in the sin of bitterness or speaking badly of a fellow believer, and you don't have any fear of God doing weird or scary things to you, then you'd better check your relationship with eternal God. Chances are you don't have one... a relationship, that is. He does not let believers continue in sin.

<3 Are you preparing to be that kind of wife? How?
1. Obedience is doing what you know your husband wants you to do.
2. Submission is giving your heart over to your husband’s will.
3. Reverence is more than just doing your man expect or demands. It is the attitude that results from truly believing your husband holds a divine position of leadership, and regarding him with a high degree of awe.

<3 Don't take for granted that you can pitch a fit, treat a man with contempt, demand control of the money, and still have your man desperately in love with you.

<3 A man has propensity to sin with his body; a female's sins are more in attitude and words.

<3 Only when a girl learns to control her need to tear down, when she lets people go unmolested by her "truthful" information, will she begin to grow as a person. Every argument, every misunderstanding, every hurt feeling - every black depression stems from someone "supposing" another meant evil toward them, used them, thought offensively toward them, or whatever else the mind contrives. Imagine being free from all these misapprehensions! You can be free.

<3 Believe it or not, there is another world where people love one another and there are no feelings of bitterness toward anyone, where one never imagines that another is thinking ill of them, a world of daily peace and contentment.

<3 Ask God to give you the wisdom to clear your soul of this plague of negative thoughts.
Fill your soul with the beauty of a good thought-life.

<3 A pure heart and mind is one of the most important elements you will bring into your life and marriage.

What say the men?
<3 Make sure she feels blessed that you have chosen her. Keep searching until you find with the most valuable of all character traits: a thankful heart.

<3 A girl that laughs and enjoys life, bubbles with joy, and just seems satisfied with her life - that's what I looked for in my wife.

<3 It is not that one woman has a wonderful life and the other has nothing but misery; it is that one sees life through the eyes of thankfulness and the other through a heart of discontentment. A downcast attitude is a dishonor to God and your husband to-be.

<3 Commit to memory such great verses as Philippians 4:11, "..for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." Then 1 Timothy 6:6, "But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out."

<3 Life is a choice.
You choose to honor God by cheerfully going his way, which is the way of thanksgiving, joy, honoring, and obeying your husband, serving others, showing kind responses, not taking offense, being chaste in your conversation and lifestyle, and having ears to hear and a heart to change.

<3 A thankful heart is manifested in her speech; it is written on her smiling face, and it is expressed in the way she serves others. God loves thankfulness.

<3 The most important thing to me is that my wife does not have a critical spirit toward me. She does not keep a "weighed-in-the-balance" score card like some ladies do.

<3 What kind of woman did God give me? The very, very best. She is the most willing servant I could ever imagine.

<3 Learn any other skill you have a chance to learn. The Proverbs 31 woman, she knew sewing, weaving, buying and selling property, street vending, cloth dyeing, planting of vineyards, dealing with the sick and poor, and many other things.

<3 There have been financial hard times, and we have done without; but she stands by me, she works with me, she laughs away our trials, and she loves me oh-so-tenderly. I've got goose pimples just thinking about her. Lord, thank you for this woman. I am so blessed.
I bought the book here, it's free shipping WORLDWIDE, yeah rite, including Indonesia :D

Saturday, May 21, 2011

sanguine, REALLY?

"Masalahnya aku itu sanguin banget, ci!!!!!!" -- itu adalah 1 kalimat frustasi yg dilontarkan a teenage boy to me. maybe he was trying to explain why his life is messed up. like everything. every aspects in life ga ada yg beres. dia frustasi enough tuk menjelaskan ke aku, alasan he did this and and not that.
mengapa dia tidak bisa konsen ketika belajar. mengapa ketika dia berencana baca renungan, yg ada adalah dia terganggu main game. mengapa dia tidak bisa menyelesaikan pekerjaan sampai tuntas, dsb!

Blaming on being a sanguine, did it really explain everything?
Oh well... maybe..

Namun, the statement, really made me to think that there's a reason why he ended up pouring out his heart to me that nite!

For you, who haven't known me well (or tepatnya haven't met me in person), I am pure sanguine!
Yes, you only need to be with me not more than 10 seconds to notice that I am a sanguine.

Back to that boy,
a moment after he mentioned it .... I screamed "HELLLLOOOOOO, who do u think I am?! cici is a pure sanguine!"

He was like, "whaaat?? u don't look like me! your life seems perfect. you listen. you are well-organized."

I didn't blame him for blaming "sanguine" for making his life miserable. 'coz i truly understand. and honestly, i was like him too.

I prayed and questioned Him so many times,
"LORD, why You created me to be a sanguine, and pure one?"
"I don't like myself!"
"I don't like to be noticed when I made mistakes!"
*well, you know, we, sanguine, talk - say things out loud. we don't keep things inside.
unlike melancholic, probably, they remain silent when they don't like stuffs.
so.....who are the first to be noticed as an annoying one?
yessss.... I am!! A sanguine!* >.< I really don't like it.
"Why people sometimes close their ears when I talk? Seriously, God, it's my normal voice... I just don't know how to lower the volume... "

You may think I dance when I talk or walk. but really, when I talk - my hands do too. when I walk - I jump too.

"Tuhan, eyn ga suka diri eyn!!!! eyn ga suka jadi sanguine!"

Of course, people say:
I make them laugh most of the time.
I am the ice breaker in any situation.
I am really2 useful when there is no microphone and u need to let all the people in the room to hear the announcement.

But, still!
"Eyn ga suka jadi sanguine!"
Ga damai -- capeeee -- tegang mulu -- selalu ketauan pas salah -- sering banget di-keselin/di-sirikin padahal maksud eyn kan baik -- dst.....
I wouldn't stop, so, I chose to stop!
Really ...
You won't stop to complain! U need to choose to stop to complain.

Back to the boy,
I was in his position... I gave up to the fact that I am a pure sanguine. I was hopeless.

Because I am a sanguine, I am allowed :
to talk about myself all the time.
not to listen.
not to finish what I started.
not to mean what I say.
to hurt people with my words.
not to focus on my responsibilities.
to mess things up. coz, u know. I easily got distracted.
to forget stuffs.
'coz people will understand.
are u satisfied with people to understand you and you won't change?

My God, my Heavenly Father who with His tender Love created me ....
didn't give up on me, like I did to myself.
His works hadn't finished on me, and He still does!

He made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank Him for making me so wonderfully complex!
His workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
He watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
He saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in His book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.

How precious are His thoughts about me

They cannot be numbered!

He made me to be like this! to have this endless energy. this voice. this speaking speed. FOR REASONS that I still learn to know and fulfill in my life.

He did His part! Making EYN as a pure sanguine.

My part is to work on it! to be a transformed sanguine.

to be a real eyn he's designed me to be from the beginning.

One reason that I learnt from the conversation with the boy, is
so I could tell all other sanguines..
-- that:
we can listen!
we can finish what we started.
we have to mean what we say.
we can learn to remember stuffs.
we can learn to focus.
we can use our words to bless, encourage, motivate, love people, not to hurt them.

with the power of His grace and love. we simply need to come before Him. pour out our hearts.. and say "Lord, I believe there are reasons why You created me like this. Change and mold me to be what You want me to be."
we really can do all things through Him who strengthen us!

* i hope that i don't stop here and will continue writing about what, we, sanguines, naturally do- and how we should change!

Monday, May 9, 2011

say NO to sin and RUN!


Don't turn off the road of goodness; keep away from evil paths (Proverbs 4:27, NCV).

At the close of the sermon, a church member came forward to speak with the pastor. He was very upset because of the sin in his life and his blatant disobedience to God. With tears streaming down his face, the repentant man took the pastor’s hand to confess that his life was full of sin, but what came out was, “My sin is full of life.” I can relate.

I don’t know about you, but my sin is definitely “full of life.” I am always amused but also saddened by people who think that just because I am in full time ministry, I am holier than they are, better than they are or don’t have to battle sin like they do. Just ask my husband and children. They will blow that theory right out of the water. I’m just thankful our cats can’t talk! The fact is, as long as I live in this fallen world and sport this frail humanity, I will wrestle with sin.

However, I have refined several tactics for dealing with my sinful nature. Rationalization is one of my personal favorites. And there is always the handy comparison ploy – measuring my sin against the sin of another. At times, I subscribe to the popular “bury it and hope it will go away” tactic. The reality is that nothing satisfies the payment sin demands except the blood of Jesus Christ and my response to His sacrifice in true, unadulterated repentance - on my face before my Holy God.

When we turn our lives over to God, He sets our feet on the right path. But to stay on that path requires a continual choice to run from sin. With our flawed choices, we take side trips, create detours and wind up on the wrong road headed in the wrong direction. Solomon warns us to stay away from evil paths. “Don't turn off the road of goodness; keep away from evil paths” (Proverbs 4:27, NLT). “Keep away” literally means “to turn aside or drag from.” In other words, when we see sin or even the opportunity to sin, we should turn around and run in the opposite direction. We should “drag ourselves” away from sin. What do we do instead? We flirt with sin. We want to be delivered from temptation but would really like to keep in touch. We pray for God to “lead us not into temptation” and then deliberately place ourselves in its path. In our arrogance, we think we can handle sin and the temptation to sin on our own. That very attitude is an open invitation for the enemy, daring him to take his best shot.

My husband, Dan, was the pastor of Flamingo Road Church in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, for many years. A man of great wisdom, Dan was adamant about the fact that neither he nor his staff should ever put themselves in a situation that flirted with sin or made it easier to sin. Solid wooden office doors were replaced with glass doors. No pastor was allowed to meet with a woman for any reason unless one of the other staff members was present. A staff counselor was hired to handle anyone needing more than one counseling session. The staff often went to lunch following their regular Tuesday morning staff meeting and even though the restaurant was literally across the street from the church, no man was allowed to ride alone with a woman. Sound ridiculous? Seem absurd? Not at all! Dan simply refused to provide ammunition for the enemy. The bottom line is that it’s foolish and dangerous to flirt with sin.

There is no holding pattern for believers nor can we live in a neutral state. We are either going forward or backward. We are either being renewed or consumed. Friend, do not relinquish any more life territory to the enemy. Run from sin!

Let’s Pray

Father, forgive me for the sin in my life. Right now, I choose to turn away from that sin. I turn to You, Lord. I know that I am lost and totally helpless without You. Thank You for the unconditional love and unending forgiveness that I find in You.

In Jesus’ name,


Now it’s your turn

Read 1 Corinthians 10:13. “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it” (NIV).

Consider the following promises found in 1 Corinthians 10:13. What do they mean to you and how do they apply to your life?

  • No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind.
  • God is faithful.
  • He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.
  • He will provide a way out.


From: Girlfriends in God, "Run", by Mary Southerland