Wednesday, October 13, 2010

books for women i read

For my friend,

I hope that your mom and sis can read these books too :) and I hope the list will be kept updated!

I agree with you that women do have our own circumstances..and men (as husband, boyfriend, father, brother, uncle, son) might need extra effort to understand.

And for women, we need to do extra effort too, to help men to understand us.

So..if u asked any books for Christian women to read, I would recommend books about relationship too..

Here they are, books for women I read so far :

Tuhan Masih Menulis Cerita Cinta by Grace Suryani and Steven Halim

Let Me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot

Fit to be Tied by Bill and Lynne Hybels

Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot

Beautiful in God’s Eyes by Elizabeth George

Lady in Waiting by Jackie Kendall and Debby Jones

Broken into Beautiful by Gwen Smith

The 10 Best Decision a Woman Can Make by Pam Farrel

Experiencing God’s Power in Your Ministry by Mary Southerland

Life Management for Busy Women by Elizabeth George

A Woman After God’s Own Heart by Elizabeth George

A Woman’s High Calling by Elizabeth George

Loving God with All Your Mind by Elizabeth George

Following God with All Your Heart by Elizabeth George

I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris

Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris

When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy

Warisan Cinta Kasih (A Legacy of Love) by Ruth Graham

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

God Chicks by Holly Wagner

Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow

Creative Counterpart by Linda Dillow

Preparing to be a Help Meet by Debi Pearl

Boundaries in Dating by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

God bless you and all women you love :)

i hate veggies? not anymore!!

Last week, a friend of mine asked if I could recommend any books for his mom and sis. To be honest, I am not confident enough to do this, 'coz I am not a reader at all! I read not because I love to read, but because I have to!

I would be super confident if I was asked "how to play with kids?" or "how to talk to strangers?" or maybe "how to sleep like a pig?" -- but, "what to read..?" All I could think of is how I used to hate reading.. and for me, reading was the most boring activity to do! It's just impossible~! >.<

If some people grew up reading comics. Me? haha.. only all ballet series, and yeah..not because I loved reading, but I love anything about ballet. Doraemon, only several pages each part, wasn't burdensome at all! And, that's all!

(when people knew I went to Japan for college, almost all of them reacted ...."waaaaah...MANGA!!! you're lucky, lyn!" i was like, "yeah rite!!!")

Magazines? I didn't read the articles, oh maybe the main points only.

Reading books had been my new year resolutions for almost 7 years, since I graduated high school. I struggled a lot, 'til I finally could finish one book in (what?) a year, maybe!

It's like eating veggies for small boy = impossible, "I don't like it but I am forced to eat it" ..

Eventually he got used to it, not because he liked it- ! and, he saw the good things veggies caused to his body. *hopefully* Then, he will look for veggies himself.

In my case, I wasn't forced by anyone to read. Just a "look" from my sis, she couldn't understand me at all! (btw, my sis reads everything, even nutrition facts written in any boxes at home! See? I didn't understand her at all either! For me, she's freak!)

By His grace, I realized, in order to grow more each day, I need to read! I need veggies~~!! I read Bible, of course. But I wanted to learn more. I wanted to see how God worked in other people's lives, and how it could be applied in my life too. I wanted to learn, to share and to teach.

It wasn't easy at all to start, seriously! Really, a book a year??? I kept on trying, another resolution on the following year, on and on. I could give up anytime, and say "ah, reading is just not me!". But, I decided not to!! I decided to keep on read, to enjoy reading, to read and to read!!! 'til finally I could answer people "what did u do last weekend, lyn?" --- "oh, I read all day long! and I am glad I did"

I used to get upset if I got books for my presents - "does this person not know me at all???" - but, now..I am so grateful, honestly~! (God really works in me ^^)

'coz the more I read, the more I learn, and the more I share... and I love it. Again, not because I love reading, but because what books do to me!! did this "I hate veggies" girl find good books to read? I started by asking reliable people, which veggies were good! From one book, it recommend another book and so on.

I also searched within me "what God wanted me to learn", asked Him to help me find good ones. Really, He is God who works in every single little thing in our lives. Most of the time He did lead - show and even give them to me in His surprising ways :D

Now, I could ask my sis, "ci, have u read this book? I just bought it, and finished reading it. There, read it! :D :D"

For all who have been reading from kids, ooh.. I envy you.. I have wasted most of my time for not reading. Keep reading good books, and please encourage people like "old me" to read!

For all who're struggling, I was there, and sometimes I still do too! Keep focusing on your goals -learning more and more- and never give up!

For all who still "hate veggies", please do eat! It's good for your health! I am much healthier than ever before!

a quite heart is content with what God gives

(From "Calm My Anxious Heart", by Linda Dillow)

Prescription for contentment:

* Never allow yourself to complain about anything - not even the weather.

* Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else.

* Never compare your lot with another's.

* Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.

* Never dwell on tomorrow - remember that [tomorrow] is God's not ours.

Contentment is rare, but it is possible.

Contentment can be learned.

I am strong for all things in the One who constantly infuses strength in me.-Apostle Paul-

At all time, in all circumstances, Christ is able and willing to provide the strength we need to be content. Contentment occurs when Christ's strength is infused into my weak body, soul and spirit.

To infuse means to pour, fill, soak or extract.

He infuses contentment into us through His Word. As it seeps into our minds, it transforms us.

Just as a cup of tea gets stronger when we give it time to steep, so we become more content when we spend time in God's Word and allow it to seep into our lives, transforming us to be like Him.

Contentment is essentially a matter of accepting from God's hand what He sends because we know that He is good and therefore it is good. J.I Packer

Love is a Gift

(From "Let Be Me a Woman", by Elisabeth Elliot, chapter 22 Commitment, Gratitude, Dependence)

Many couples have shared this loyalty (a loyalty not only to each other but a common higher loyalty - loyalty to God, that is a sound basis for marriage) and have found that their marriage was far from ideal. As long as we are "in the flesh" we'll have trouble in the flesh. But God knows the purpose of the heart. He sees the direction a couple has taken when they have made up their minds to seek "things which are above". There is a whole world of difference between those who look only for their own happiness in this world and those who know that their true happiness lies in the will of God.

When they encounter trouble they know where to turn, for they know that they are still under the command of God, they are not forsaken. They know that they are insufficient in themselves, that human love breaks down, and that there is never a point at which they can say, "we've arrived," and are no longer in need of grace.

You know, I am sure, that your love is a gift. And if it is a gift you are grateful to the Giver. To acknowledge your gratitude to Him is also to acknowledge your dependence, to acknowledge above all the authority of Christ.

Let Be Me a Woman, by Elisabeth Elliot

We are called to be women. The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian does make me a different kind of woman. For I have accepted God's idea of me, and my whole idea is an offering back to Him of all that I am and all that He wants me to be.

Christian woman, whether she is married or single, there is the call to serve.

What this society needs is more emphasis on the need to serve others, and provide tenderness, compassion, cooperation and love.

It was God who made us different, and He did it on purpose. Recent scientific research is illuminating, and as has happened before, corroborates ancient truth which mankind has always recognized. God created male and female, the male to call forth, to lead, initiate and rule, and the female to respond, follow, adapt, submit. Even if we held to a different theory of origin, the physical structure of the female would tell us that woman was made to receive, to bear, to be acted upon, to complement, to nourish.

Every normal woman is equipped to be a mother. Certainly not every woman in the world is destined to make use of the physical equipment but surely motherhood, in a deeper sense, in the essence of womanhood. The body of every normal woman prepares itself repeatedly to receive and to bear. Motherhood requires self-giving, sacrifice, suffering. It is a going down into death in order to give life, a great woman analogy of a great spiritual principle (Paul wrote, "Death worketh in us but life in you"). Womanhood is a call. It is a vocation to which we respond under God, glad if it means the literal bearing of children, thankful as well for all that it means in a much winder sense, that in which every woman, married or single, fruitful or barren, may participate - the unconditional response exemplified for all time in Mary the virgin, and the willingness to enter into suffering, to receive, to carry, to give life, to nurture, and to care for others. The strength to answer this call is given us as we look up toward the Love that created us, remembering that it was that Love that first, most literally, imagined sexuality, that made us at the very beginning real men and real women. As we conform to that Love's demands we shall become more humble, more dependent - on Him and on one another- and even (dare I say it?) more splendid.

Psalm 144:14 says, "May our daughter be like corner pillars cut for the structure of a palace." Pillars uphold and support. This is a woman's place, and all of us need to know what our place is and to be put in it. The command of God puts us there where we belong. We know our "creatureliness," our dependence. If there is a command for us we know we are recognized. We know that we fit into God's universe, we know our relation to the rest of mankind, tot the family, and, if we have one, to a husband. Meekness, I believe, is the recognition of that place. To be meek is to have a sane and proper estimate of one's place in the scheme of things. It is a sense of proportion.

We've been cut to a certain size and shape to fulfill a certain function. It is this, not that. It is a woman's offering, not a man's, that we have to give.

Mary is the archetype of human self-giving. When told of the awesome privilege which was to be hers as the mother of the Most High, her response was total acceptance. "Behold the handmaid of the Lord. Be it unto me according to Thy word." She might have hesitated because she didn't want to go through life being known only as somebody's mother. She might have had her own dreams of fulfillment. But she embraced at once the will of God. Her "Be it unto me" ought to be the response of every man or woman to that will, and it is in this sense that the soul and the Church have been seen throughout Christian history as female before God, for is the nature of the woman to submit.

It is a naive sort of feminism that insists that women prove their ability to do all the things that men do. This is the distortion and a travesty. Men have never sought to prove that they can do all the things women do. Why subject women to purely masculine criteria? Woman can and ought to be judged by the criteria of femininity, for it is in their femininity that they participate in the human race. And femininity has its limitations. So has masculinity. That is what we've been talking about. To do this is not to do that. To be this is not to be that. To be a woman is not to be a man. To be married is not to be single - which may mean not to have a career. To marry this man is not to marry all the others. A choice is a limitation.

Self-Discipline and Order

(From "Let Be Me a Woman" by Elisabeth Elliot, chapter 12 Self-Discipline and Order)

We are the creatures of a great master Designer, and His ordering of our lives is sure and certain, yet many people live without any visible order or peace or serenity. The way we live ought to manifest the truth of what we believe. A messy life speaks of a messy - an incoherent faith.


Self discipline.

"If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; and ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."

Freedom begins way back. It begins not with doing what you want but with doing what you ought - that is, with discipline. With "continuing in the word." To be a disciple means to be disciplined.


The way you keep your house, the way you organize your time, the care you take in your personal appearance, the things you spend your money on all speak loudly about what you believe. "The beauty of Thy peace" shines forth in an ordered life. A disordered life speaks loudly of disorder in the soul.

1 Thessalonians 5:17 = Never Stop PRAYING

From Purpose Driven = Keep on Praying

"Why be persistent? How come my answers sometimes don't come immediately? Why should I keep on praying when the answer doesn't come in my time table?"

Keep on praying when there's no answer, because persistent praying helps me focus on God. God wants me to remember that He alone is the source of my answers to prayer.

The Bible says in Philippians 4:19, "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."

God wants us to see Him alone as the source of our needs.When we have to pray about something over and over, who do we look to? We look to the Lord. Persistent prayer focuses our attention. Have you discovered that we like to look to everybody else to solve our problem except the Lord? We look to our friends, we look to our family, we look to counselors, we look to the government, we look to anybody -- except the Lord. God often delays an answer to force you to focus on Him.

Persistent praying also clarifies my requests. A delayed answer a lot of times gives me time to clarify what do I really want. Time separates deep longings from mere whims. I've prayed for things and sometimes during the delay decided I didn't really want them after all.

God delays the answer to test you. It's not that He doesn't want to give it to you, He wants to know if you really want it. Do you want it enough to keep praying? Jeremiah 29:13 "You will seek me and find me when you seek for me with all your heart." Nothing worthwhile is accomplished with half-hearted prayers.

Persistent prayer will prepare me for the answer. God usually wants to do more than you are praying for. Surprise! God wants to do it greater and He needs time to get you ready for it. There are changes God wants to make in you. Ephesians 3:20 "Now glory be to God, who by his mighty power at work within us, is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes."

People say, "Prayer changes things." Of course we know it is God who does the changing. But prayer changes you. And God is more interested in you than He is in circumstances. Often as soon as you've made the change in your life the doors of heaven open and the answer comes. Expect a miracle.

Persistent praying strengthens and develops your faith. A mark of maturity is how long can you wait. Galatians 6:9 "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." God’s saying, "Hang on! Be patient! The harvest is coming. Don't give up! Look up!"

be back and get real!

Film yg gak mgkn aku nonton kalo aku sendirian. *bukan karena horror*

Dulu2, aku itu tipe orang yg agak2 berbicara *bertanya* kalo lagi nonton. Walau aku tahu, yg nonton barengku juga belum nonton, but I “feel secure” kalo aku bisa actually talk about the movie during the movie. Yang paling setia adalah koko dan satu uncle’ku. Yes, aku emang annoying, tapi mereka selalu ladenin. Namun lama-lama, semakin gede, yah lebih tau diri lah, dan udah lama banget gak nonton ama mereka, jadi bener-bener “berpikir” sendirian.

Sudah direncanakan aku bakal nanya sepanjang nonton, karena “warning” dari yang dah pernah nonton. Tapi kenyataannya, hanya beberapa patah kata saja yang keluar, I even didn’t blink my eyes *lebay*.

Bicara tentang mimpi sampai bertingkat-tingkat, dan mempengaruhi pikiran dengan memasukkan ide ke alam bawah sadar orang lain.

Sebagai tukang mimpi sejati, *bahkan tidur siang yang hanya 15 menit pun aku pasti mimpi*, aku cuma pernah mengalami mimpi 2 tingkat, jadi saat aku bangun, ternyata aku masi bermimpi. Awal-awal mengalami mimpi gitu, cukup frustasi, “saya mau bangun!!!!!!!” tapi setelah beberapa kali, jadi actually bisa enjoy dan geli sendiri.

Selesai nonton kemarin, aku gak sabar pengen tidur tuk lihat aku mimpi apa yah, dan jadi mikir, sebenernya apa sih yang mempengaruhi mimpi itu.
Kalo di inception kan, kita bisa merancang mimpi kita sendiri. Seru makanya itu, creating our own world.

Berdasarkan pengalamanku selama ini, tidak selamanya mimpiku terdeteksi penyebabnya. Walaupun kadang-kadang banyak mimpi yang terjadi karena aku memikirkan tentang sesuatu atau seseorang sepanjang hari, dan bermimpilah di malam hari. Menyenangkan yah?! Namun sering kali, orang maupun peristiwa yang tidak pernah terpikiran sebelumnya, masuk ke dalam mimpiku, dan membuatku berpikir ketika bangun, “How is she/he?” etc.

Bedanya di inception itu adalah, kita bisa memilih untuk terus hidup di dunia mimpi kita. Kalau udah bosen, tinggal “mati” dan kembali deh ke dunia nyata. Kalo emang suka dengan mimpi kita, selama-lamanya hidup di sana >.<
Sedangkan di dunia nyata, kita tidak ada pilihan, kita harus bangun, kecuali kalo kita jadi tidur selamanya alias “bye2 dunia”.

Hari jumat malam, hujan, Jakarta! Apa itu?
Rencana makan sebelum nonton pun, ter-loncat menjadi setelah nonton. Pulang jadi lebih malam. Dan aku mungkin masi “setengah bermimpi dan belum sadar2 banget”.

Baru tadi pagi, pas bener2 bangun dari mimpi’ku semalam, di ranjang, pas buka mata, aku berpikir bahwa sering kali aku hidup di dalam “mimpi”, di dalam fantasi ku sendiri. Aku membuat scenario hidupku, dan itu sama dengan “bermimpi di tengah hari bolong”. Though, setiap hari aku menyerahkan hariku dan hidupku ke Tuhan, namun sering kali juga aku berusaha menjadi sutradara, berusaha mengambil kendali supaya jalan cerita sesuai dengan scenario ku, berusaha memasukkan artis2 lain supaya hasil akir menjadi seperti “mimpiku”.

Dan aku menyadari, ketika aku sadar bahwa “I’ve been living in my own fantasy” *puji Tuhan, bisa sadar juga*, aku punya pilihan, apakah apa mau get real, and menyudahi fantasi itu. Or aku mau tetap meng-entertain myself dengan hidup di “dunia maya nan indah”?

Getting real dan menyudahi fantasi itu, seringkali cukup “menyakitkan”, karena itu sama dengan menghancurkan rancangan indah yang selama ini kita tata. Tapi, it’s real! Dan itu adalah kenyataannya. Buatku, biar bagaimanapun, eventually aku harus bangun dari mimpiku, it may be really hurtful ketika aku do the u-turn, tapi at least, I am back in the real game, the real world.
The real game! The real life! With the best of the best Director yang punya Master Plan ttg kita! The best scenario ever!
Bedanya, kita hanyalah pemain, mengikuti arahan Sutradara Agung, and kita gak tahu jalan cerita sampai ujung. Kita diarahkan selangkah demi selangkah, melalui setiap scene yang benar-benar unpredictable. Tapi Dia berjanji, kita gak pernah sendiri, dan hasilnya pasti terbaik.

Ini janjiNya, “Sebab Aku ini mengetahui rancangan-rancangan apa yang ada padaKu mengenai kamu, demikianlah Firman Tuhan, yaitu rancangan damai sejahtera dan bukan rancangan kecelakaan, untuk memberikan kepadamu hari depan yang penuh harapan.”

Ya, semua orang berhak punya “mimpi”, tapi jangan biarkan “mimpi” itu menguasai kita dan membuat mata kita tertutup terhadap dunia nyata yang Tuhan anugrahkan bagi kita. Kita jadi lupa bersyukur dengan apa yang ada, karena bagi kita, “ini bukan “mimpi”ku, aku gak mau!!!”.
Mungkin kita berpikir, “Hidupku akan lebih indah kalo aku punya ini.” “Semuanya akan berbeda kalo aku bersama/ masih bersama dia.” “Hidupku akan berarti kalo aku bisa bekerja di perusahaan ini.” Aku tidak bilang itu salah, tapi bedakan “mengejar mimpi” dengan “hidup di alam mimpi.”

Pagi ini, setelah aku benar-benar bangun dari mimpiku, aku juga tersadar bahwa “aku harus bangun dari ‘mimpi’ku yang lain”. Yeah, it hurts. But, I choose to wake up and get real!
Karena aku percaya, Dia punya a bigger picture yang jauh lebih indah dari yang pernah aku “mimpikan”.

ketika tamu kuatir mengetuk

“Janganlah hendaknya kamu kuatir tentang apapun juga, tetapi nyatakanlah dalam segala hal keinginanmu kepada Allah dalam doa dan permohonan dengan ucapan syukur”

Ini salah satu ayat favorit.
Apalagi lanjutan-nya….
“dan DAMAI SEJAHTERA ALLAH YANG MELAMPAUI SEGALA AKAL akan memelihara hati dan pikiranmu dalam Kristus Yesus”
Kekuatiran (mungkin kita lebih kenal dengan STRESS OR PARNO) diganti dengan damai sejahtera yg melampaui segala akal, siapa yg gak mau?!?!?
Mauuuuuuuuu bgt, Tuhan! :D :D :D

Beberapa saat belakangan ini, hampir setiap hari, ada tamu setia yg mengunjungiku, kekuatiran dan keraguan ttg certain things. Walaupun tetap, pada malam harinya, aku selalu list ke Tuhan dan bilang “Tuhan, eyn kuatir ini eyn kuatir ini……..huhu”. Selalu besok paginya, muncuuul lagi-muncul lagi, capeeee deh >.<, karena emang masalahnya belum kelar-kelar. *masi musim ujian*

I know that being worry is a sin, I couldn’t help though; worries are all over me >.<
Akirnya aku bilang ke Tuhan kemarin, “ok Lord, eyn gak bisa handle “this worry”, but this what I am gonna do, setiap kali worry eyn muncul, eyn akan berdoa, udah itu aja deh, eyn akan tukar worry-eyn dengan doa, ya Tuhan yah? “
Aku rindu punya His peace which transcends all understanding, sungguh! Aku gak suka ketika aku harus dealing with worries *emang enak dag-dig-dug?*, namun kondisi belakangan ini sungguh “mendukung”ku tuk worry. Duh!
Walaupun Tuhan berulang kali ingetin, “Jangan kuatir, eyn! Jangan kuatir, eyn!” And juga, aku berulang kali ngomong ke myself, and repeat verses about worries, on and on. Tapi tetep aja, masi kuatir >.<
1 Petrus 5:7 Serahkanlah semua kekuatiranmu kepadaNya sebab Ia yang memelihara kamu.
Matthew 6 “Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need. So, don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”

Indah bukan?

Ada kala dimana aku menukar worry-ku dengan doa sambil tersenyum, ada kala dimana aku menukarnya sambil menangis… karena sungguh, aku merasakan ketidakberdayaanku. Merasakan betapa hanya Dia-lah yang mampu menghandle semua ini.

And today, Matthew 15:28, a super simple verse…
“Dear woman,” Jesus said to her, “your faith is great. YOUR REQUEST IS GRANTED”~~~!!!!
I felt somehow He talked to me, not that I am saying my faith is great, boro-boro, saat ini aku lagi “lemeeeeeeees” gak kira2. Tapi Yesus dengan penuh kasih meyakinkanku bahwa, alasan kenapa kita harus gak *tidak boleh* worry, and present our request to Him itu karena He is the one who’s gonna grant the request. Dialah tempat yg tepat untuk kita minta!! Jangan kemana2….!!

Memang tidak selamanya yg kita “minta” diberikan, karena Dia lebih tau yg terbaik buat kita, dan Tuhan memberi yg kita butuh, bukan yg kita mau. Dan percaya deh, ngeri juga kalo semua yg kita mau dikasi.. >.<
Rick Warren bilang gini, “There's a difference between needs and wants. God's not going to give you everything you want; you'd be spoiled to death.”
Tapi kita tahu, ketika tamu kuatir mengetuk pintu, hal terbaik yg bisa lakukan adalah menyerahkan SEMUANYA itu kepada Allah yg memegang kontrol atas SEMUANYA!!
Dan kita akan mendapatkan hadiah pertama...DAMAI SEJAHTERA ALLAH yg melampaui segala akal.
True peace is not found in positive thinking, in absence of conflict, or in good feelings. It comes from knowing that God is in control.

Do you want to worry less? Then pray more! Whenever you start to worry, stop and pray!

how we need His touch!

From Crosswalk Women: Five Areas of Woman's Life that Need God's Touch by Cindi McMenamin

My heart was convicted as I read in Scripture of a woman who was so desperate for God's healing in her life, she was willing to do anything to just touch Him (Mark 5:24-34).

I had to ask myself, how desperate am I for God's touch on my life? There are times I might be desperate to feel and look younger, to be thinner, to have more in the way of peace and happiness. But how desperate am I to be whole and complete in every way?

After surveying nearly 100 women, I found several common areas in which women, myself included, need the touch of God to be whole and complete. I also found that Scripture addresses these areas of a woman's life so that we can receive His healing touch. See if you can relate to needing God's touch in these areas of your life, as well:

1. Our Hearts - So They Can Be "Set On Things Above"
Women often stress over the temporal - bills that must be paid, whether or not a man will come into our lives, if we'll be able to have a child, what someone is saying about us, how our body looks, and so on. At times we are more concerned about what the scales say than what God says. Our heart is closely attuned to our bank balance, rather than our life's balance.

Yet God instructs us in Colossians 3:1-2: "set your hearts on things above." If our priorities were in heaven, not on this earth, we would not only be happier and healthier, but less financially drained and emotionally spent. Matthew 6:19-21 tells us not to "store up treasures here on earth where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven ....For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." It takes God's touch to clear our hearts of what this world says is important and focus it on the things above.

2. Our Minds - So They Are Transformed and Renewed
It's amazing how many women profess to know God and follow Him, yet their thinking patterns are just like those of anyone else in the world. Scripture commands us: "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is" (Romans 12:2, NLT).

Furthermore, God's Word instructs: "fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise...and the God of peace will be with you" (Philippians 4:8-9, NLT). What mental anguish we would spare ourselves from if we would let God transform our mind and renew our thoughts to think as He would.

3. Our Mouths - To Be Wholesome and Pleasing to God
Because women tend to be communicators, we can cause much damage with our mouths if we do not bring them under God's control. Whether it is gossip, criticism or unkind remarks, our mouths can be instruments of righteousness or unrighteousness. In Ephesians 4:29 we are told to "not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." God's touch on our lives can make us women whose words heal and encourage, rather than distract and destroy.

4. Our Bodies - To Be Pure and Holy for Him
Are you one to worry and stress about what the scale says, how many calories you took in, and whether or not you can still fit into a certain size? God's command to us is "Give your bodies to God. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice - the kind he will accept. When you think of what he has done for you, is this too much to ask?" (Romans 12:1, NLT). It is important that we keep our bodies healthy and in good shape (as we are His temple), but God says our most prevalent concern should be that we keep our bodies holy. In fact, God calls keeping our bodies holy our "spiritual act of worship" (Romans 12:1, NIV).

One of the ways we can keep our bodies holy is by how we choose to dress. People can tell much about us, and whom we love, by how we dress. Do we call attention to ourselves or the God who made us? If the way we dress says "Look at me!" we may want to rethink how we dress so that others can see Christ through us. Can others see Christ in you or are you getting in the way?

5. Our Emotions - To Be Calmed with the Peace of God
There are days when, hormonally or just circumstantially, we need God's touch to calm our frazzled emotions and level out our lives. Philippians 4:6-7 says "Don't' worry about anything, but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and request to God. Then, because you belong to Christ Jesus, God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feel" (CEV). A woman who is controlled by God's peace is not on the edge, but in the spacious place of His embrace.

I believe if we seek God's touch in those five areas of our lives we would rarely have reason to feel we are going over the edge. For instance, when you get frustrated in a relationship, go back to the principle of letting God transform and renew your mind to only think on whatever is pure, right, lovely, good, and so on. And when you are about to lose it over finances or something that takes you by surprise, remember to not be anxious about anything, but to pray about everything...keeping a heart of thanksgiving for what you've been given. And when your heart begins to desire something that you cannot attain, remember to set your heart on things above.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

may it be pleasing to You

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to You, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer . Psalm 19:14

Ya Tuhan, perkataanku dan terlebih hatiku…
biarlah itu menyenangkanMu ya Tuhan
biar eyn jaga hati eyn suci…
tiada tersembunyi bagiMu Bapa,
Engkau mengenal ku sampai kedalaman hatiku..
sucikan, murnikan lebih lagi,
biarlah hanya pujian dan berkat yg ada di hatiku..
buanglah segala kutuk, segala kebencian, iri hati, insecurity, worries yg menggerogoti hati ini Tuhan
biarlah sungguh seluruh keberadaanku menyenangkan hatiMu ya Tuhan.

Monday, August 2, 2010

stick to the rules?

Bole dibilang, aku adalah seorang yg cukup taat peraturan, mungkin karena jiwaku bukan jiwa petualang, or entah kenapa, aku gak suka yg namanya ambil resiko dgn "melanggar sedikit" yg sebenernya cukup aman.
Kalo bagi sebagian orang, "peraturan untuk dilanggar", bagiku "peraturan untuk ditaati". Yeah, I am a freak!

Walaupun aku terlihat paling ribut diantara my two other sisters *haha, bukan terlihat sih, kenyataannya begitu*, tapi silahkan nanya ke cici ato ke rieza, aku itu yg paling "tidak nakal", dan paling "taat", gak ada jiwa2 iseng dalam diriku, I always play safe *gak cocok bgt emang sama penampilanku* tapi itulah eyn!

Aku sungguh bersyukur punya mereka, karena mereka juga sering kali mengingatkanku untuk sedikit loosening up ketika sepertinya aku sudah mengikuti segala peraturan, namun things tidak berjalan dengan "rencanaku".

Dan kemarin adalah salah satunya…
Cici: tenang aja lyn, lu pasti bisa melewati semua ini.
Eyn: tapi kenapa ci??? Kenapaaaaaaaa? Gue gak pernah maen2! Selalu ikut aturan, gak pernah bermain api pula..
Cici: iya, ngerti..tapi sering kali yg menurut kita baik, belum tentu itu yg terbaik menurut Tuhan.
Eyn: hix…
Cici: keep smiling donk..
Eyn: yeee, lagi mau nangis sih disuruh senyum…

Conversation-ku dgn cici ku kmrn membuat ku berpikir tuk pengen ngomong ke Tuhan…. pengen "marah" and bertanya "kenaaaaaaapaaaaaaaaaaa Tuhan??????"

Tapi sebelum ngomel2 gak jelas, aku menenangkan diri.. dan aku tulis ini di diary-ku..
Apa maksud semua ini? Eyn gak ngerti….eyn sedih………
Tuhan, hati eyn hancurrrrr!!!!!!
Eyn bodoh , I was humiliated, but Lord, I put my trust in You, I put my full confidence in You.. that You, God, You are the one who holds my future, You know the best for me, I fear not about my future.
Yes Lord, I gave my heart to You!!!!!! Aaaaah Lord, I trust You with all my heart….

Aku buka Alkitab-ku, then aku tertarik kepada ayat yg aku sendiri highlight entah kapan..
Psalm 3:3 but You, O Lord, are a shield around me; You are my glory, the one who holds my head high.
When circumstances go against us, we may be tempted to think that God also is against us. When everything seems to go wrong, God is still for u. If a circumstance has turned against you, don’t blame God, seek Him!

Dan, aku sungguh tersenyum lebar setelah baca itu...
Yes, I was tempted to blame Him, though I knew deep inside my heart that He knows the best and everything is under His control. >.<
Sungguh ketika kita choose to seek Him, as He promised, we got the answer.
Dia sungguh Allah super keren, super tender, and very caring.
Dia bener2 menjawab ke-galau-an dan kesedihan hatiku saat itu juga.
Everything "seems" to go wrong saat ini, yes, karena aku berpusat kepada "the thing", bukan kepada Dia yg takes control over everything.
I may always obey the rules *walau sometimes itu adalah rules yg aku ciptakan sendiri*, tapi kehidupanku bersama Dia jauh lebih indah dan kreatif dari sekedar hidup yg taat peraturan.

Tuhan bukan Allah yg boring tentunya, Dia Allah yg super kreatif dan punya rancangan jauh lebih spektakuler dari rancangan "stick to the rules" gaya eyn!
Hidup kita bukan seperti masakan, yang kalo ikutin resep, jadilah!*masakan aja bisa beda hasilnya, tergantung siapa yg megang kan?*
Intinya, there is no formula, kalo kita udah ikut aturan..hasilnya seperti ini! I am not saying that, "dengan begitu, lupakanlah rules itu, hiduplah semau2mu!!" NO!
Tetap carilah kehendak Tuhan dalam hidup kita, taatlah kepada rules * yg adalah firman Tuhan*, janganlah bermain api, jangan mencobai diri sendiri dengan berada pada jarak yg sangat dekat dengan dosa, tapi hasilnya : bukan urusan kita, itu urusan Tuhan! Kita hanya menjalani bagian kita, TRUST AND OBEY, let Him complete the work! :D

And the pain falls like a curtain on the things I once called certain
And I have to say the words I fear the most "I just don’t know"
And the questions without answers come and paralyze the dancer
So I stand here on the stage afraid to move, afraid to fall
oh, but fall I must on this truth that my life has been formed from the dust
God is God, and I am not. I can only see a part of the picture He’s painting
God is God and I am man. So I’ll never understand it all, for only God is God.

Don’t put your trust in mere humans *ourselves*. They are as frail as breath. What good are they?
Isaiah 2:22

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

antara cinta, expectations dan komunikasi

Beberapa hari yang lalu, temanku ngomong gini ke aku..
“Lyn, when you love someone and you started to feel hurt…it means there is something’s wrong, and you need to find what that is.”

Eyn : ah kagak ngerti ah maksudnya apa!! Gmana bisa?!
My friend : iya…karena ketika mengasihi seseorang itu brings pain instead of pleasure, berarti ada sesuatu yg salah, dan lu mesti cari tau itu apa.

Entah aku adalah temen yg tukang nurut, entah karena aku rasa perkataan itu masuk akal juga..aku jadi terus mikirin perkataan dia..

Dan aku jadi menyadari satu hal, bahwa rasa sakit itu muncul ketika ada expectations yg tidak terpenuhi.
Perkataan temanku jadi lebih masuk akal sekarang..
Ketika aku sayang seseorang, dan mengharapkan sesuatu dari orang itu…dan tidak terpenuhi, itulah saat hatiku sakit.
Well..tentu..bole2 saja berharap pada orang, gak ada salahnya dengan itu.
Tapi, yang juga penting adalah expectations itu harus bisa dikomunikasikan.
Karena seringkali..ketika expectations tidak terpenuhi (karena yg diharapkan clueless..bukan karena tidak mau memenuhi), jadi suka ber-asumsi sendiri..dan lagi, bertambahlah sakit itu.

Aku selalu melihat cinta itu sebagai sebuah anugrah, sesuatu yg tidak dapat dipaksakan, sesuatu yg naturally muncul, bukan karena usaha. Sehingga bagiku mencintai dan bisa berkorban bagi seseorang adalah anugrah. Hadiah cuma-cuma dari Allah yang adalah kasih.
Sedangkan expectations itu tentu diciptakan. Dapat dikompromikan. Dapat diskenariokan. Dapat ditinggikan. Dapat direndahkan. Sesuatu yang dapat diusahakan.
Apalagi komunikasi!! Itu bisa belajar.
Merusak cinta (yang adalah anugrah) dengan expectations (yang seringkali adalah keegoisan sendiri) dan dengan komunikasi (yang tidak lancar)…duuuh sayang banget kan..?!

Marilah menjaga keindahan hadiah CINTA dari Tuhan..dan dipoles lebih lagi supaya kualitas cinta kita tambah gahar : cinta yang sabar; murah hati; tidak cemburu; tidak memegahkan diri; tidak sombong; tidak melakukan yang tidak sopan; tidak mencari keuntungan diri sendiri; tidak pemarah; tidak menyimpan kesalahan orang lain; tidak bersukacita karena ketidakadilan, tetapi karena kebenaran; menutupi segala sesuatu, percaya segala sesuatu, mengharapkan segala sesuatu, sabar menanggung segala sesuatu.
dan marilah belajar untuk “mengendalikan” expectations kita dan komunikasikan itu.

And always choose to LOVE, coz LOVE never fails!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

i will run to You and i will keep on doing it

Biar bagaimanapun, aku selalu paksakan hari Minggu bisa “tidur siang”. Emang paling ideal kalo bisa sampe di rumah cukup siang, jadi bener2 actually "tidur" di "siang" hari. Tapi hampir setiap Minggu, pasti aja ada hal yang aku kerjakan, dan kemarin aku sampe rumah jam 5.
Karena aku punya cita2 mulia untuk napping + emang teler bgt, aku tetep tidur!!! Jam 6…lalu bangun jam 8! haha :$

Bangun2, mama and Rieza lagi asik nonton “Indonesia Mencari Bakat”, kalo lagi iklan, pindah ke “Take Me Out”. Aku langsung lari ke mejaku, buka laptop, nyalain Itunes, ambil Alkitab, siap2 mau bible reading..
Tapi ooh…tidur pules 2 jam, dtambah agak2 laper, dtambah si Brandddoooon di Trans TV, and Mas Choky di Indosiar, bener2 bikin gak konsen lah untuk mulai baca Alkitab.. haha :$ *itulah mengapa, aku selalu semangat 45 untuk bangun super pagi, or tidur super malem, supaya punya waktu tenang dan juga supaya aku punya waktu untuk keluargaku*

Then, akirnya aku putuskan pasang earpiece..supaya lebih tenang!
Aku bersyukur dengan segala “kerusuhan” di luar, sehingga memaksaku konsen cuma denger lagu di Itunes, pas lagi lagu “I will run to You”

Your eye is on the sparrow and Your hand, it comforts me
From the ends of the Earth to the depth of my heart
Let Your mercy and strength be seen
You call me to Your purpose as angels understand
For Your glory, may You draw all men as Your love and grace demand
And I will run to You to Your words of truth
Not by might, not by power but by the Spirit of God
Yes I will run the race ‘til I see Your face
Oh let me live in the glory of Your grace

Ini lagu yg sangat kunikmati ketika SMP, lagu pertama yang “aku bisa” dari kaset Hillsong pertamaku. Dan ini juga lagu kedua (or ketiga?) yg dinyanyiin ama vocal grup'ku yg awalnya cuma ber-4.

Aku jadi menyadari satu hal yang indah mengenai lagu pujian. Dengan mendengar dan actually menyanyikan lagu pujian, untuk aku pribadi, membuatku mengenang dan merefleksi banyak hal. Selain tentunya, most of the time selalu ada yang Tuhan mau sampaikan melalui pujian itu.

Sejak kecil, aku suka sekali dengan musik. Hadiah pertama dari papa waktu aku umur 3 tahun adalah cassette tape player. Bukan karena aku hobi nyanyi dulu, tapi karena aku hobi bergoyang *aku gak menyebut, goyang kiri kanan anak umur 3 tahun sebagai menari tentunya*.
Setelah udah bisa baca, dan ke sekolah minggu, baru deh mulai hobi2 ngafal lagu dan nyanyi dengan suara seadanya!! Hanya bernyanyi, tanpa terlalu ngerti apa yg aku nyanyiin..

Menyanyi menjadi lebih dari sekitar menyanyi, sejak aku sungguh2 terima Kristus, naik SMP 1. Awal2 ngerti yang namanya saat teduh itu, bagiku doa+nyanyi+baca Alkitab adalah 1 paket! Indah :D
Sampai sekarangpun, ketika aku lagi “tidak tahu harus bagaimana lagi”, tidak punya kata2 untuk berdoa karena terlalu sedih sehingga tidak bisa bicara lagi *namun sungguh bersyukur, karena kita punya Roh Kudus yg selalu berdoa bagi kita Roma 8:26*, aku selalu berdiam diri dan mendengar lagu.
“Repeat” merupakan fave button ku saat2 begitu, aku biasa mendengar lagu berulang-ulang, sampai aku bisa lebih clear dengan kondisi ku, bisa lebih tenang, menangis dan akirnya mencurahkan semua isi hatiku ke Tuhan. Itulah mengapa, banyak lagu-lagu yang punya kenangan khusus denganku, dan ketika mendengarnya lagi, aku jadi ingat masa2 aku tumpah ruah di hadapan Tuhan, dan ketika melihat ke belakang, aku jadi melihat bagaimana Dia menjawab doaku.

Nah, lagu “I will run to You” membuatku mengenang kembali masa awal2 aku kenal Tuhan dan melayani Dia di SMP.
Lagu ini telah membuat seorang erlyn kelas 2 SMP berasa special, karena sungguh Tuhan memperhatikan dia sampai kedalaman hatinya. Walaupun waktu itu masalah mungkin masi belum terlalu complicated, gak jauh2, "hanya" masalah dengan teman..namun aku sangat2 takjub mengetahui bahwa ada Allah yang begitu mengerti diriku lebih dari siapapun. Burung kecil saja begitu Tuhan perhatikan, terlebih aku.
Lagu ini juga selalu membuat 14 tahun erlyn amazed, “wah Tuhan pilih eyn toh?!” dan selalu membuat erlyn kecil *yg fyi, tinggi badannya gak berubah sampai sekarang huhu* ngerasa…”senangnya bisa cari Tuhan apapun kondisi eyn!”

Dan hari ini, lagu ini mengingatkan ku pada teman2 sepelayananku dulu dan juga pada panggilan ku secara pribadi lagi.
Yes I will run the race
‘til I see Your face

Hampir setengah dari usiaku, aku menjalani hidup bersama Dia.. dan aku menyadari, aku masi berada di sebuah pertandingan.

Saat masi di persekutuan dulu, seakan pertandingan tuh lebih jelas jalurnya. Setelah kepengurusan tahun ini selesai, tinggal “digumuli” masi “mau” lanjut gak di kepengurusan tahun depan. Seakan semuanya tersedia bagi kita, tinggal jalani aja. Kita juga punya pembimbing. Jaman SMP-SMA dulu, sepertinya girang banget kalo 1 tahun telah berlalu, dan kita “naek kelas”, pindah ke babak baru, pertandingan baru. Dan enaknya saat itu kita selalu bersama.
Dan tentunya, itu sangat wajar untuk para bayi rohani, kita makan sesuatu yang telah disediakan, kita dibimbing, kita dilayani *walaupun kita juga melayani, namun kita sungguh2 sangat dilayani saat itu*

Saat ini kondisi udah berbeda, hampir semua teman sepelayananku punya dunianya sendiri, melayani di tempat dan bidang masing2. *puji Tuhan!!*
Dan sekarang, yang Tuhan minta juga berbeda, bukan kepengurusan 1 atau 2 tahun *well, mungkin sebagian dari kita masi ada sih*, yang kalau udah kelar bisa mikir2 lagi mau lanjut atau gak, ibaratnya komitmennya bisa temporary. Kali ini semakin bertumbuh dan dewasa di dalam Dia, sungguh jelas, melayani bukan sekedar menjadi bagian dari organisasi. Melayani adalah hidup kita, bagian dari hubungan kita dengan Tuhan. Sesuatu yang tidak dapat dipisahkan dari keseharian kita. Bisa dimanapun, kapanpun, dengan cara apapun.
Dan sampai kapan? 1-2 tahun? Sampai saya bosan? Sampai saya gak punya waktu lagi, karena saya sibuk bekerja? Sampai saya menikah kelak dan waktu saya hanya untuk keluarga?
Sampai kita bertemu Dia, muka dengan muka!

Teman2, saat ini each of us punya our own race as in bidang pelayanan, bidang kehidupan, tempat dan panggilan. Walaupun sejujurnya aku sangat merindukan kalian *berharap bisa kembali melayani bersama2*, aku percaya Tuhan telah persiapkan kita bersama2 saat itu dan saat ini Dia memanggil kita di tempat kita masing2, mari tetap setia sampai akhir dan saling mendoakan!

Namun, ada 1 race yg selalu kita share bersama yaitu race kehidupan kita bersama dengan Tuhan, hidup yang semakin hari semakin dekat dengan Dia, semakin memancarkan kemuliaan Tuhan, dan yang terus menjadi saksi bagi kerajaanNya dimanapun kita ditempatkan.
Sampai kita bertemu Dia, muka dengan muka!

Inilah doaku, biarlah pada akhirnya, kita semua mampu berkata seperti Rasul Paulus:
Aku telah mengakhiri pertandingan yang baik, aku telah mencapai garis akhir dan aku telah memelihara iman.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Be content!

Be content!
Waktu jamannya dulu masi maen2 MSN messenger, ada 1 teman statusnya adalah – be content!-
Gak terlalu ngerti itu artinya apa dulu, tapi selalu menarik, karena dia adalah salah satu orang yg statusnya gak pernah ganti! I think he was content enough with his status.

Be content!
Salah satu bagian Alkitab yang sangat kusukai adalah *yang aku yakin hampir semua orang hafal ayat ini* I can do all things with God who strengthens me… *kayaknya ini adalah ayat pertama yg aku hafal dalam bahasa Inggris*
Filipi 4:13 Segala perkara dapat kulakukan di dalam Dia yang memberi kekuatan kepadaku.
Waktu jaman cuma afal ayat mah, ditelan mentah2 ayat ini, toh ayatnya bagus.. nah pas udah gedean dikit.. jaman mulai baca Alkitab … baru tau alasan Rasul Paulus kenapa bisa berkata sebegitu hebatnya *di ayat sebelumnya* adalah..
Aku telah belajar mencukupkan diri dalam segala keadaan. Aku tahu apa itu kekurangan dan aku tahu apa itu kelimpahan. Dalam segala hal dan dalam segala perkara tidak ada sesuatu yang merupakan rahasia bagiku; baik dalam hal kenyang, maupun dalam hal kelaparan, baik dalam hal kelimpahan maupun dalam hal kekurangan.

Setelah tahu ayat ini, dan actually mengalaminya langsung *Aku pernah mengalami ketika sisa uang di tabungan hanya 100 yen, en gak tau besok mau makan apa… kok yah lewat2 aja hari2ku.. dan malah terlebih lagi.. aku bahkan tetap gemuk aja yaah selama di jepang?* for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. , ini jadi ayat "sakti", sumber kekuatanku..aku tidak takut!!
Masa2 di Jepang, adalah sungguh pertama kalinya aku belajar bahwa aku hanya mengandalkan Tuhan saja dalam hidupku.
Orangtuaku? Tidak..aku gak mau mama stress melihat anaknya actually stress dan tidak punya uang.. mama bahkan tidak pernah tau kesusahan ku disana.
Diri sendiri? Haha..boro2 mau mengandalkan diri sendiri, aku hanyalah seorang anak kecil..tidak bisa apa2..yang cuma tau kalo Tuhan dah bukain jalan aku sekolah di Jepang, Tuhan gak mungkin biarin aku berhenti di tengah jalan, Tuhan pasti pimpin sampai aku bisa selesai disana, bagaimana dan apapun caranya…aku Cuma ngikut! Itu! Itu yang mengisi hari2ku.

For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
Pulang ke Indonesia..dengan problema yang baru! Seakan semua masalah “kesusahan” di Jepang, tidak ada artinya, tidak sebanding dengan “kelas” baruku ini. Ujian yang Tuhan perhadapkan denganku, beda2 pula. Seringkali aku merindukan “kelas” lama ku di Jepang, ketika yang perlu kupikirkan hanyalah bagaimana aku makan, bagaimana aku mengumpulkan uang untuk pulang ke Indo ketemu mama!!

Kalau sedang musim2 normal, anggaplah musim semi.. dimana bunga bermekaran..aku bayangkan bunga Sakura dan bunga Matahari bersebelahan..duh cantiknya! *gak mungkin bgt lah, jelas2 musimnya beda!* eniweii… aku nangis itu hanya sebulan sekali! Aku bersyukur akan hal itu, karena itu menunjukan aku masi cewe yg normal and sebulan sekali mataku dibersihkan, literally!

Nah, dalam setahun ada musim kekeringan *dimana air mata kering…nangis gk habis2 berhari2*, atau bisa juga dengan kata lain musim badai, dimana tenaga habis terkuras berusaha bertahan menerpa badai *hehe, salah sendiri! Padahal harusnya saat badai gini yah… tinggal diam aja di pelukan Tuhan, yang jauh lebih besar dari badai itu…enak bisa bobo nyenyak! Tapi kan kadang2 aku suka sok jago tuh..sok yg "Bisa! Bisa! Bisa!" Akirnya kecapean sendiri*

Namun asiknya di setiap badai itu, selalu ada yang Tuhan bisikan, yang awal2nya tidak terlalu kedengeran, karena aku masi bersikukuh dengan sok jago-nya aku..tapi lama2 Tuhan yg super keren ini berteriak sampai akirnya aku sadar!

Kali ini, kembali lagi Dia ajarkan ku to be content!!!

Aku berulang kali ngomong ke Tuhan….”duh Tuhan, eyn gak ngerti kenapa rasa gak enaknya kok belum ilang2 yah? Kenapa yah? Kenapa? Boseen nih!! Mau hidup normal!! Cape mellow2!! Gak asik!”

Dari beberapa renungan yg aku baca beberapa hari ini, berulang-ulang.. be content!
Sermon mgg lalu di gereja juga, be content!
Dan hari ini .. lagi!!! Be content! *sampai akirnya aku senyum sendiri…dan “ooooh gitu yah Tuhan?!”*

(from Crosswalk Women, "A Believer for All Seasons", by Kathi Macias)

Philippians 4:11, which declares, "I have learned in whatever state (condition, circumstance, season) I am, to be content." Easier said than done!! ........

2 Timothy 4:2 instructs us to "Be ready in season and out of season." Each time I read that I realize how often God gives me time to prepare for the situation I'm in—and how often He doesn't. * I wasn’t ready this time huh?! –eyn-*

Obeying God doesn't always mean that I have to walk through fire for Jesus. Most of the time it simply means "renewing my mind" according to Romans 12:2, which explains that our thought processes must be changed to conform to God's Word rather than the prevailing trends and mindsets of the world.
………………….. the renewing of our minds has to go deeper than a simple assent to the fact that those acts (any sins) are wrong. God deals with the heart. His desire is to take our lifelong attitudes and gently but firmly begin to reshape and remold them into a worldview that reflects His values and His righteousness.

In the middle of all that comes an appreciation for the season we're in—be that summer in the desert or winter in Alaska, the early married years with children and bills or the senior years with arthritis and wrinkles. *in my case, oh well masa2 “susah” di jepang, or musim semi ketika gak ada masalah, or masa badai2 saat ini*
To some extent, of course, that proved to be true, and the next season was a bit easier—in some ways. However, I also learned that I was really just trading the difficulties of one season for new ones in the next. And along with leaving those particular difficulties behind, I left some of the joys as well.
True, I have pictures and memories that transport me back to those times, and I smile at the images they bring to mind. But sometimes a tear trickles down my cheek, even as I smile, because I know those very special moments are gone forever, swept away with the passing of time—the changing of seasons. The Spring and Summer of my earthly life are over, and Fall is quickly fading into Winter.
Should I bemoan the loss, giving myself over to living in the past? Many do, particularly if they have no promise of eternity with the Father. But I'm a Christian, a born-again believer whose eternal existence is assured. If my mind has been renewed by the reading and applying of the Scriptures, then there's no place for regret or sorrow as I face the winter of my life.

Each season of our lives, regardless of the "state" or circumstances that accompany it, can be times of rejoicing if we choose to make them so, as the Apostle Paul did. We can choose to be content, whether we have an abundance of this world's riches or scarcely enough to get by. We can choose to be content, whether our health is perfect or less than we'd like it to be. We can choose to be content, whether the world is singing our praises or condemning our every word and action. *i can choose to be content though my heart is aching, di tengah situasi tidak mengenakkan dan melelahkan -eyn-*

The important thing is to remember that Paul said his contentment in every situation was a learned process. When I became a believer I understood that I had to change my way of thinking from that of the world to that of the One who spoke the world into existence, but it didn't happen overnight. It was a learning process—a long one, which will continue until I step from the winter of my temporal life into the eternal season of God's presence.

God intends for Christians to flourish in all seasons, regardless of our situations, and we will only do that as we renew our minds to think as He thinks, to live as He lives, and to love as He loves. We can't do it in our own strength or wisdom, for apart from Him we have none. But the One who is omnipotent and omniscient stands ready to impart His strength and wisdom to us so that we might rejoice in the season we're in today, even as we anticipate the one to come.

My dear Lord…who has been faithful to me through all the seasons in my life… again, kali ini Dia ajarku to be content! I have learned to be content dalam kekuranganku, sehingga saat ini ketika aku menghadapi kekurangan “lagi”, to be honest, I am super content!
Tapi dalam season baru saat ini dalam hidupku, kondisi yg belum pernah kuhadapi sebelumnya… again… God taught me again to be content! or at least, to choose to be content, to enjoy the season! To have faith that season ini akan segera berlalu! To see this season from his point of view! To see this season as a learning process He's making me more beautiful each day! To be a joyful Christian in all seasons! 'tuk belajar seperti Rasul Paulus, supaya aku juga bisa berkata....
"Our hearts ache, but we always have joy............ We own nothing, and yet we have everything." 2 Cor 6:10

Be content!

bermimpilah, karena Tuhan akan memeluk mimpi-mimpi itu!

July 20th 2010

Mungkin ranjangku menertawaiku kemarin, cepat sekali aku tidur, jam 9 malam! *bravo*
Kemarin, sekujur tubuh terasa lemas…dan aku memutuskan untuk melakukan hal terbaik untuknya, yaitu : tidur lebih awal. Aku sangat yakin bahwa tidur jauh lebih baik daripada menservice lidahku dengan eskrim vanilla yg memanggilku terus di kulkas, ataupun menonton film apapun untuk mendistract pikiranku.

Pagi ini, bangun dengan rasa syukur, “Yes, makasi Tuhan buat tidur super nyenyak’ku kemarin malam~~~!!”

Janjian dengan bos’ku jam 10 pagi … namun sebagai bos tentunya, beliau bebas datang jam berapapun. Sebagai “karyawan yang baik”, kuputuskan untuk bekerja APAPUN sembari menunggu, sampai aku tak tau lagi harus mengerjakan apa, 1 jam berlalu bos’ku tak kunjung tiba.
Jadi sedikit menyesal karena aku tidak membawa buku apapun untuk dibaca, padahal baru aja tadi pagi dapat tulisan blog yg dikirimkan temanku “10 rahasia sukses orang jepang”.. aku jadi cukup bernostalgia kisah2 indah kuliahku di negeri penjajah itu.. *oops!* dan salah satunya adalah.. orang jepang kemanapun membaca buku, ketika menunggu, maupun di dalam kereta, berdiri maupun duduk! Oh yeah…aku ingat ketika aku masi di jepang, betul! Banyak sekali pembaca buku, tetapi juga banyak anak2 sekolahan yg sibuk dandan di kereta.. dan keduanya sama = acuh tak acuh, terbenam dalam dunianya sendiri.

Eniwei.. kembali ke “yaaaah!!!! Coba aja aku bawa buku!!!”

Masi bosan dan teramat bosan, aku menyapa teman kerjaku .. dan ternyata… dia bawa buku!!!!
“Erlyn ikutin laskar pelangi gak???”
“wah Cuma ntn laskar pelangi sih, belum nonton Sang Pemimpi….”
“Nih aku ada Edensor, novel ke-3nya!!! Walau belum baca 1 dan 2..nyambung kok!!”
“ok deh, aku pinjem yah.. sampai nanti bos dateng aku balikin…”

………lembar demi lembar berlalu …. dan akirnya kubawa Edensor kemanapun kupergi hari ini.. dan kuselesaikan pula novel ke 3-nya Andrea Hirata, sang pemuda Belitong!!!!

Sebenernya, awal aku nonton Laskar Pelangi, karena menemani 2 sepupu kecilku … dan aku tidak pernah menyesalinya sampai sekarang, sungguh mengharukan bagaimana para anak2 berjuang demi bersekolah, menempuh jarak berjam2 demi tiba ke sekolah *well, mgkn buat kita yg di Jakarta, juga berjam2 sampai ke sekolah, tapi karena macet di kendaraan*. Sejak nonton Laskar Pelangi, aku selalu ingetin dede2ku!!! Ingat!!!! Orang bersusah2 mau sekolah, kalian begitu mudahnya sekolah, harus belajar yang rajin!!!!!!!

Nah … di Edensor ini, si Ikal …. menceritakan kisahnya selulus SMA, sampai dia menerima beasiswa ke Perancis dan ber-backpacking keliling Eropa. Itu adalah salah satunya mimpinya yang menjadi kenyataan yaitu : bersekolah di Sorbonne dan menginjakkan kaki di Afrika. Bahkan mimpi-nya yg selama ini tidak pernah terlintas, pun menjadi kenyataan. Dia bertemu dengan Andrea Galliano di Milan. *Ikal mengganti namanya menjadi Andrea karena membaca majalah dengan berita Andrea Galliano di dalamnya. Bayangkan seorang anak kecil di Belitong, membaca kisah jauh di Italy, dan akirnya bertemu dengannya*

Walaupun di novel ini juga ada kenyataan pahit, ia tidak pernah berjumpa dengan ALing, cinta pertamanya. Dan juga beberapa pengalaman tidak mengenakkan..hari pertama di Eropa, dia harus kedinginan karena gak punya tempat tinggal *kombinasi antara administrasi yg tidak baik dari Indonesia, dan kejamnya orang Belanda disana yg tidak berbelas kasihan… * belum lagi pengalaman bertemu perampok!

Sebuah kisah inspriratif ‘tuk dibaca, dan menjadi begitu mengharukan karena ini adalah kisah seorang anak Indonesia yang berjuang meraih mimpinya! Beberapa tulisannya yang mau aku bagikan (sisanya boleh dibaca sendiri..hehe)…..
Pengalaman yang sama dapat menimpa siapa saja, namun sejauh mana, dan secepat apa pengalaman yang sama tadi memberi pelajaran pada seseorang, hasilnya akan berbeda, relatif satu sama lain. Banyak orang yang panjang pengalamannya tapi tak kunjung belajar, namun tak jarang pengalaman yang pendek mencerahkan sepanjang hidup.

Tabiat orang tak berhubungan dengan gelar yg disematkan kepadanya, bukan pula bagaimana ia menginginkan orang hormat kepadanya, tapi lebih pada berapa besar ia menaruh hormat kepada dirinya sendiri.

Rupanya, tak ada yang lebih aneh selain orang dimabuk cinta. Segalanya tiba-tiba berubah menjadi serbabaik. Kini, dalam penglihatanku, setiap benda menjadi indah....

Bermimpilah, karena Tuhan akan memeluk mimpi-mimpi itu..

Sejak kecil aku harus bekerja keras demi pendidikan, mengorbankan segalanya. Harapan yang diembuskan beasiswa itu membuatku terpukau. Aku sadar bahwa apa yang kualami selama ini bukanlah aku sebagai diriku. Beasiswa itu menawarkan semacam turning point : titik belok bagi hidupku, sebuah kesempatan yang mungkin didapat orang yang selalu mencari dirinya sendiri. Aku telah tertempa untuk mengejar pendidikan, apapun taruhannya.

Aku ingin hidup mendaki puncak tantangan, menerjang batu granit kesulitan, menggoda mara bahaya, dan memecahkan misteri dengan sains. Aku ingin menghirup rupa-rupa pengalaman lalu terjun bebas menyelami labirin lika-liku hidup yang ujungnya tak dapat disangkam aku mendamba kehidupan dengan kemungkinan-kemungkinan yang bereaksi satu sama lain seperti benturan molekul uranium: meletup tak terduga-dua, menyerap, mengikat, mengganda, berkembang, teurai, dan berpencar ke arah yang mengejutkan. Aku ingin ke tempat- tempat yang jauh, menjumpai beragam bahasa dan orang-orang asing. Aku ingin berkelana, menemukan arahku dengan membaca bintang gemintang. Aku ingin mengarungi padang dan gurun-gurun, dan menciut dicengkeram dingin. Aku ingin kehidupan yang menggetarkan, penuh dengan penaklukan. Aku ingin hidup! Ingin merasakan sari pati hidup!

Sering aku merasa heran. Kawan-kawanku The Brits, Yankee, kelompok Jerman, dan Belanda adalah para pub crawler kawakan. Mereka senang bermabuk-mabukan. Tak jarang mereka mabuk mulai Jumat sore dan bsaru sadar Senin pagi. Sebagian hidup seperti bohemian, mengaitkan anting di hidung, mencandu drugs, musik trash metal, berorientasi seks gajil, dan tak pernah terllihat tekun belajar, namun mereka sangat unggul di kelas. Aku yang hidup sesuai dengan tuntunan Dasa Dharma Pramuka, taat perintah pada orang tua, selalu belajar dengan giat dan tak lupa minum susu, *aku MENCINTAI susu – eyn-* jarang dapet melebihi nilai mereka. Dengan ini, kutemukan paradoks kedua, dalam diriku sendiri.

Tertawalah, seisi dunia akan tertawa bersamamu; jangan bersedih karena kau hanya akan bersedih sendirian.

Peristiwa dengan Andrea Galliano membuatku seperti melihat cahaya yang meyakinkanku bahwa sekecil apapun hal terjadi memang karena suatu alasan. …. Aku tahu, hal yang menakjubkan bisa saja terjadi lagi padaku di sana, tanpa pernah kuduga dari mana arah datangnya.

Karena jika kita berupaya sekuat tenaga menemukan sesuatu, dan pada titik akhir upaya itu hasilnya masih nihil, maka sebenarnya kita telah menemukan apa yang kita cari dalam diri kita sendiri, yakni kenyataan, kenyataan yang harus dihadapi, sepahit apapun keadaannya. *huhuhu…kita harus tahu kapan harus stop yah sepertinya?! – eyn - *

Di tengah2 membaca ini, aku berulang kali ngomong ke Mama… “Ma, aku jadi pengen ini pengen itu pengen mengejar mimpi .. pengen kesini …….. “
Mama ketawa dan bilang, “duh, ini anak kenapa sih? Udah stop deh tuh baca bukunya.. jangan mikir yg aneh2!!!”

Sembari bacapun, aku sembari berkomunikasi dengan Tuhan… “Tuhan, kayaknya adil-adil aja deh kalo eyn mau ini itu kesana kemari deh Tuhan… toh selama ini eyn kan gak mikirin maunya eyn Tuhan!?? eyn kan masi muda Tuhan?! bole lah yah.. yah yah yah???”
Aku merasakan Dia tersenyum…

Jam 8 malam….my daily devotional dari Proverbs 31 ministries visited my inbox *hanya sisa beberapa halaman sebelum Edensor habis, tetapi aku putuskan untuk baca dulu renungan itu*, title-nya “it’s not about you” … udah ada firasat buruk…”duuuh… gk enak nih kayaknya!!!!”

Sebenarnya inti dari renungan itu adalah bagaimana we have to be content in any circumstances.. kenapa?! For when I am weak, then I am strong. Jadi ketika kita harus berhadapan dengan trials and tribulations, belajar dari Rasul Paulus to be content. The first step to learning contentment adalah to empty ourselves and allow unselfish humility to drive our attitude and our actions. No grumbling! No complaining!

Namun renungan hari ini berbicara lain padaku.. tepatnya di bagian awalnya, dibilang gini :
In his popular book The Purpose Driven Life, author and pastor Rick Warren makes one point very clear, “It’s not about you.” In a world where pursuing personal comfort and happiness is an obsession, many of us chafe and choke at the thought of any struggle or pain invading our lives. The thought that the world wasn’t created just to keep us happy and comfortable seems counter intuitive to today’s thinking. It can be difficult to swallow the fact that God is not most interested in our comfort, but more interested in our character.

Then, I realized … tentu tidak pernah salah untuk bermimpi….toh dari kecil kita diajarkan untuk menggantungkan cita-cita setinggi bintang di langit, jadi seandainya tidak sampai langit pun setidaknya sampai ke awan kan…? Bermimpi untuk sukses!! Untuk hidup lebih enak! Dst.. namun, Tuhan mengingatkan, sebagai anakNya…ada mimpi yang lebih mulia yang perlu dicapai dan seharusnya dimimpikan olehku, yaitu karakter yang semakin serupa dengan Kristus.. seringkali ketika keadaan tidak menguntungkan, bikin kita susah…itulah saat dimana karakter kita semakin diasah..dalam rangka penggapaian mimpi yang lebih sempurna.

Tentu..setelah selesai membaca Edensor ini..aku menuliskan beberapa list mimpiku..dan sangat rindu untuk mendoakannya tiap hari..namun, aku diingatkan..bahwa hidupku, it’s not about me! it’s not about my comfort! Tetapi lebih … it’s about Him be glorified in my life!

Bermimpilah, karena Tuhan akan memeluk mimpi-mimpi itu….! Ya, aku akan terus bermimpi di dalam Dia.. ! ketika mimpiku menjadi kenyataan, aku tau itu adalah anugrahNya, ketika kenyataan tidak sesuai dengan mimpiku, aku tau itu adalah proses Tuhan menyempurnakan mimpiNya dalam hidupku.

in everything give thanks!

Thanks to God for my Redeemer,
Thanks for all Thou dost provide!
Thanks for times now but a mem’ry,
Thanks for Jesus by my side!
Thanks for pleasant, balmy springtime,
Thanks for dark and stormy fall!
Thanks for tears by now forgotten,
Thanks for peace within my soul!

Thanks for prayers that Thou hast answered,
Thanks for what Thou dost deny!
Thanks for storms that I have weathered,
Thanks for all Thou dost supply!
Thanks for pain, and thanks for pleasure,
Thanks for comfort in despair!
Thanks for grace that none can measure,
Thanks for love beyond compare!

Thanks for roses by the wayside,
Thanks for thorns their stems contain!
Thanks for home and thanks for fireside,
Thanks for hope, that sweet refrain!
Thanks for joy and thanks for sorrow,
Thanks for heav’nly peace with Thee!
Thanks for hope in the tomorrow,
Thanks through all eternity!

- Thanks to God for my Redeemer. Words by August L. Storm -