My 5 Loaves and 2 Fishes

I still remember how I felt hopeless when a friend of mine told me that there was no chance I could make a hazmat suit that would give enough protection to the medical workers on the field.

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I still remember how I felt hopeful after I chatted with a doctor, and he told me that a REAL waterproof material was good enough at this moment, better than nothing. To prevent droplets going in.

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I still remember how anxious I was while trying to find a supplier that provided one. Waiting for suppliers to reply us seemed like forever. 

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I still remember how I felt like a failure, when we had found the so-called waterproof material (claimed by the supplier) and tested it ourselves, it was completely soaking-wet! Even worse, we had bought the material. 

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I still remember again, how excited I was to finally find and test the finally!! real waterproof material, and we could make it a go and tell people about it. 

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I still remember how heartbroken I was to tell the needy people on the field that at that moment we hadn't made enough hazmat suits yet, as we barely started a few days back. My heart broke to tell them to wait, that we would do as best as we can. 

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I still remember how useless I felt when I watched the news saying Indonesia needs millions of hazmat suit, help from big organisation had arrived -- ten thousand something. While we only could make less than a hundred a day that time. 

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Then, at that moment! God spoke to me, clearly.. "I just need 5 loaves and 2 fishes from you, I will multiply them" 

I am not a miracle maker. I am just a boy who is holding my lunch my mom prepared, and I want to surrender them to Jesus, to feed thousands of people in hunger. 

If there is one thing I learnt during the pandemic, it is this! 

It is surely a journey of faith.

He initiates, He leads, He provides.
At the end of the day, whatever the result is, all credit belongs to Him.
To God be the glory.
The One who takes my five loaves and two fishes.
The miracle maker.

So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, "We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty." Luke 17:10 



Here is Corrinne May's song that accompanied me: 

"Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all to feed them all"

I often think about that boy when I'm feeling small
And I worry that the work I do means nothing at all

But every single tear I cry is a diamond in His hands
And every door that slams in my face, I will offer up in prayer

So I'll give you every breath that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All that you need is my "Amen"

- Corrinne May -