Berjuta Rasanya

It's less than 3 weeks to my wedding :D

I know .. I was supposed to update things here .. a lot of things .. but life's been so busy (I know, I'm sorry for the excuses) --
I do hope, I can start writing again soon --
I do miss writing so much, as well as
I miss juicing and smoothing every morning (yup, I used to have smoothies and juice every morning, my own) -- and I miss working out.
Those 3 things I haven't done for long time .... for months .. huhu ...

Anyway, I didn't plan to write anything today ... I just wanted to update my status on facebook.
But -- kayanya bakal cukup panjang .. so I decided just to write here..

So - gmana rasanya tinggal bentaaar lagi?!
Kalo my dear (soon to be) husband bilang - berjuta rasanya..

Kalo saya ..... yup!! I would agree with him..
so excited!!!!!!! i'll be with him - (bye2 long distance... !!!!!) i'll be with him -- i'll be with him!
but ....... yup2, i got to leave.. my family, my Jakarta Baru!!!, my work (I resigned yesterday), my kids ... and my friends.

There is a season for everything.
I know there will be tears di airport .... and pastinya on my wedding .. haha.. :$
..........
this season is about to change.

Ngomong2 soal seasons... aku jadi ingat jawaban dan alasanku, ketika ditanya .. "Erlyn, kenapa ga kerja di Jepang? Ga sayang yah, dah kuliah jauh2 di Jepang, udah bisa bahasa Jepang, tapi ga kerja sana?"
Aku selalu dengan malu2 dan ragu menjawab ... walaupun itu berasal dari hatiku yg paling dalam..
-- kalo aku mau spend masa single with my family, with my mom especially...
aku bilang.... "tar kalo dah merit, mau dibawa kemana sama suami, aku ga tau... masa single ini, masa dimana aku bisa serve my family sepenuhnya and to be with them"
padahal yah... waktu itu tuh aku masi pacaran dengan mantanku - yg rumah kami jaraknya hanya 20 menit ... (kalo ga macet!)
eeehhh, siapa yg tau .. kalo jadinya begini! dibawa pegi sama Arief.. :D

Aku jadi inget juga awal2 kenalan sama Arief, dia pernah asked me the same question ..
and I did answer him that ... aku dah yg super malu, gmana kalo dpikir pikir cheesy banget sih ni cewe! gitu ya...
Tapi I didn't care lah...karena itu alasan ku sebenernya. Pulang ke Jakarta untuk mama.

There is a season for everything..

and now .. in a week, i am leaving Jakarta - I am glad, I took that decision.

Orang bilang -- siapin wedding itu stress!
hmmm... ??? really?
for me though, aku selalu try to focus .. karena aku ga mau jadi bride to be yg stress gila.. ga mau..
sedih banget, abisin waktu single buat stress..
so, setiap kali - masalah muncul. konflik muncul ...
*ya iyalah, boong banget kalo ga ada yang "kepanasan" terjadi..
it's about millions rupiah things! about ratusan orang to be invited. about parents to please :) ... and it's about  my wedding dream and my other dream too, ga mau nyusahin calon suami ku dalam hal ini.
kami long distance. dia di sana. aku di sini.
dan kami harus prepare 2 weddings :D yihaa!

Ketika, air mata meleleh. Ketika ada perasaan ...."arrrggggghhhh!!!! coba aja aku bisa ini aku bisa itu"
aku mundur!!!
dan ingat...
dan fokus!
i want to be a happy bride (to be). yg punya peace, joy and love.
aku ga mau paksain diri dalam keadaan yg acakadut en siapin wedding ... no no no no ~~~
selalu mundur "Tuhan, eyn ga mau dikenal sebagai orang yg stress! eyn ga mau!!"

Ketika aku ga bisa dapat hal yg aku mau ... ketika aku harus "mengorbankan" sedikit keinginanku...
i always remind myself... that I have the most beautiful thing already ..... calon suamiku adalah yg terindah...
lebih dari seluruh bunga asli - di seisi gedung
lebih dari foto pre-wedding spektakuler
lebih dari apapun.
Calon suami adalah yang terindah .. yang lain cuma icing.
that's true!

So, siapin wedding stress ga Lyn?
Sibuk - iyah!!
Stress, tergantung kamu lah ;)

Less than 3 weeks before my Big day...
*sebenernya hanya hal ini yg pengen aku tulis hahaha.. jadi panjang gini deh ah ...
Aku semakin merasakan .. that I am glad to be with him .. i love him even more ..and feel so much loved by him..
I feel so much blessed by Our Father .. He truly provides what I need at perfect time... really2 amazing..
*oke2, i really need to share one day about this ... apa aja yg Tuhan provide...
I feel blessed banget with my family and friends.. yg ready to help ... with all the preps... and from all my friends, yang come all the way from Japan, Jakarta, Bandung, Bali, KL... wooow!!! :')
Sungguh2 - mereka adalah perpanjangan tangan kasih Tuhan...

Jadi gmana rasanya dah mau merit?? Berjuta rasanya~~!
Terutama,
I feel so much loved and blessed!!!!! :D