Relaxing, Officially

Yellow!!!

Gimana rasanya - menikah?

Simple question, but .... answer? not simple....

My default answer - is "SO FAR SO GOOD!"
and, from the deepest of my heart, I pray it will always be..
I tell you the best part =
to have my beloved man next to me when I wake up is PRECIOUS!!!!!

More complicated answer, will be...
"I am settling down.... you know, pelan2......
Simple things sih dah mulai settle, kamar baru - sudah mulai kelihatan bentuknya ..
dapur pun sudah mulai kelihatan isinya, bumbu2 dan peralatan sudah siap tuk dipakai setiap hari.
I have managed to exercise 3 times a week (finally!! setelah sekian lamaaa)
Hmm tuk bigger things, belum nih....pekerjaan, pelayanan -- masi belum tahu mau start dari mana, kapan dan bagaimana."

Months before the wedding... I knew I knew that I would go out from my comfort zone..
Namun, baru last night,
aku baru MENGERTI apa itu yang namanya keluar dari my comfort zone..
It's like starting EVERYTHING NEW.. well, maybe not entirely ..

Back there, of course, aku dah settled..
I worked almost 6 years in the same company.
Church, more than 20 years! --
People know who I am and what I do and what I am good at..

Here, I started from "introduction to erlyn"
Some people encouraged me -- that this season of life, is exciting. I could start fresh~ I totally agree...
the problem is ... i dont know how, when, what to start.....

This morning... bangun2 galau..
during breakfast, my loving husband sang this song..
Adakah berat beban hidupmu? 
Sampaikanlah kepada Tuhanmu; 
gundah dan gelisahkah hatimu? 
Sampaikan tanpa jemu

and sebelum pergi kantor, he said once again..
"ingat yah ...
SAMPAIKAN!!" *smooch

and I did.

Hari ini firman Tuhan tentang istri Lot...........
and this sentence menyentil aku.

"Why did she turn, despite the angel’s clear warning? 

Was her heart still attached to everything she left behind in the city? – a life of comfort, ease and pleasure?"

Oh girls, my life at this moment, bener2 life yg penuh EASE and PLEASURE!!!! like, seriously..... 

But, I somehow - don't feel comfortable karena tidak settle... I feel soooo guilty for "resting".. you know.. 

I wish I could enjoy holiday!!! huhuhu >.< 

okay, let me share a little background of myself.
Aku itu orang yg "ga bisa dieeem" :$ 

I am crazily soooo attached to work, or at least to do something. 

Dari jaman smp - sma, sibuk yang luar biasa, sampe2 dedeku bilang "aku tuh ga kenal cici. ga pernah ketemu cici" 

Masa kuliah, sambil sekolah aku kerja di 4 kerjaan yang berbeda..  kalo ada weekend, berusaha cari kerjaan laen juga tuk weekend... *well, kalo kuliah sih emang karena butuh uang! haha~ 

I had started to work, sebelum lulus kuliah~ 

hmmm.... 

this is not something i am proud of, really... 

tapi ini really my tendency.. to have a life yg full schedule-nya. sehingga, i feel so guilty to rest! >.< tidak sehat tidak sehat tidak sehat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Now I am here, masa-masa transisi... belum settle... banyak sekali waktu luang (ya ampun nikmatiiiii donk eyn!!!!!), walau sudah tiap hari memasak.. 

Kalo bisa cuci kamar mandi setiap hari, maybe I would.. haha >.< tapi i know, it's crazy dan tidak sehat.. 

Saya super bahagia beyond words, karena having my husband everyday... *ahhhhhhh :D :D
dan saya tidak mau suamiku punya istri gelisah hati!!  

God is truly the answer.

He asked me, 

Is your heart still attached to everything you left behind in the city?

A life of comfort, ease and pleasure. 

Maybe in my case, a settled life??!!!  

Thank You Father, for the answer... 

I don't want to look back ... 

It's okay - still settling, not settled yet. 

'coz there is a time for everything. 

I want to treasure this moment. Sama seperti Tuhan pimpin Lot and family-nya, ke better life ... (if only the wife had obeyed!) 

Eyn mau menikmati masa2 transisi ini, di mana eyn bisa punya banyak waktu tuk berpikir dan menenangkan diri...  

ga mau jadi tiang garam ya Tuhan~~!!! >.< 

I do I do I do believe... Tuhan yg sudah memerintahkan eyn tuk keluar.... Tuhan juga yg akan pimpin ke tempat berikut ... eyn mau taat... dan mau santaii dalam perjalanan transisi ini ... ~ 

You lead my way - one step at a time! 

Yihaaaa... excited!!! :D 

I look forward to see - pekerjaan mana yg Tuhan pimpin tuk eyn kerjakan... 

Anak2 mana yg Tuhan pimpin tuk eyn layani .. 

~ dan many other things, yg I know You will lead me to them at Your perfect time. 

For now, it's time for me to relax~~ (and it is okay to relax, eyn!!!) 

it's time for me to wait for His next calling -- and I am so excited... ~! and of course, to pray without ceasing. 

and thank You Father, for my husband, yang selalu bernyanyi dan menari (literally) tuk menghibur eyn :D and ingatkan eyn tuk SAMPAIKAN gundah gelisah eyn ke Tuhan :D 

for You are the answer! and You did answer me again this morning!

I don't look back, I look forward~ for this is my new life of comfort, ease and pleasure. :D