October 25th 2010
Minggu lalu, aku sungguh berasa overwhelmed! - dgn begitu banyak hal yg aku harus kerjakan, juga secara emosi!- Ingin rasanya aku mundur dari segala sesuatu dan menjadi begitu egois.. "i want to do things for myself" - which actually gak salah juga, sekali2 kita butuh waktu untuk diri sendiri = "memanjakan" diri. Btw, dalam kamusku "memanjakan diri" berarti beristirahat, dan tidak melakukan apa2 on weekend *coz there is no way bisa do nothing on normal weekdayz*. Yg padahal adalah hal yg wajar2 aja, karena toh emang kita butuh istirahat!
Alarm -"cape"meter- ku itu sudah rusak dari bertahun2 yg lalu - aku tidak pernah sadar aku cape- sampe2 aku bisa nangis - or freak out - or demand everybody's attention over small things! ; itu berarti Erlyn sedang cape dan butuh istirahat! Aku baru sadar karena weekend kmrn itu aku merepotkan begitu banyak orang hanya to help me decide what dress I should wear to my friends' weddings! (yes, with s, i got 3 weddings last Sat). - itu hari Jumat- dan berlanjut Sabtu pagi, aku jadi "mengeluh" dan mempertanyakan banyak hal, "why me?!" "why should I do this?!" "I don't think I can do this!" "It's too much!" "I want to quit!" dan jadi berujung2, started to worry about other tasks and responsibilities yg masi menantiku, en "NOOOOOO~~~!!!"
Dan bersyukur tuk temanku yg meluruskan "otak"ku sedikit, she reminded me devotional we both read the previous day *ooh, how God has prepared me to face that day!* just DO THE WORK!
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1 Chronicles 28:20 "Be strong and courageous and do the work. Don't be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you."
Whenever I started to get discouraged or overwhelmed by the hugeness of the task, I reminded myself: Do the work—three little words that got me through one of the biggest challenges of my life. Perhaps you need to hear those three little words today.
Make no mistake: sometimes the work will be hard. Note that our verse today didn't say "Lay around and hope things get better." The challenge we face is not in focusing on how hard the work is, but in seeking the God who has promised to show up as we work. We offer our best efforts and trust that He will multiply them. We will see Him supply the words, the resources, the energy, the time, the patience, the grace we need. But first we must do the work. Just like the priests had to first step into the water before the Jordan could part in Joshua 3:15-16, so we must begin working before we can see the solution appear.
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(From Proverbs 31 Ministries' Devotional by Marybeth Whalen "Do The Work")
I was about to change my facebook's status to be "I am officially exhausted and burnt out" that morning, and I was glad I didn't! 'coz last Saturday turned out to be "I love what I am doing" day.. dan aku melihat bahwa tidak hanya aku suka apa yg aku kerjakan *dan aku sangat bersyukur aku mengerjakannya*, tapi He was the source of my strength. Oh yeah, aku tidak dalam keadaan 100% fit to be honest with you, tapi aku sungguh merasakan betapa He supplied the words, the resources, the energy, the time, the patience, the grace I needed that day~ So, really.. it's not because of me..! Not so I can boast about my abilities, but so I can boast in Him. It's Him who is faithful to His words that all I need to do is DO THE WORK, and let Him take care of other things!
That day, I was really thankful kalo aku luar biasa cape, yet I kept doing the work, coz He reminded me once again.. a prayer I once prayed to Him 3 years ago *i had it on my blog* :
Lord, help me to remember it’s not by my power, nor by my might, but by Your spirit that I accomplish anything worthwhile.
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