first thing first

June 21st 2010

Really thought that it was just a normal Monday blues.
*Pusing dan ngantuk sepanjang pagi…. Menguap2 tak berhenti, sampe pak sopir bertanya, ‘abis nonton bola, ce?’ …*

Pagi ini, bangun dengan berharap badanku sudah dalam keadaan PENUH dan siap beraktifitas.
Kenyataannya malah body-ku berteriak, “Lyn, don’t u realize that u even haven’t had me fully recharged for several days? How could u expect me to be in total stamina?”
* Oh yeah, I know! I know!!! Really sorry, my body! >.< * It shouted, "I AM OFFICIALLY EXHAUSTED!!!” Tau dari mana? Kepala pening yg tidak kunjung hilang, ngomong yg mulai ngaco dari sejak beberapa hari lalu dan mudahnya aku upset over small things..yg sedikit lagi disenggol, pasti akan nangis! *huhuhu, this exhaustion really affected my emotion too* Kalo ibarat batterei bb, dari mulai lampu kuning..udah jadi lampu merah.. SOS… bentar lagi mati sama sekali … (matinya berarti sakit though!) * yup, aku sudah disambut oleh tamu flu dan panas dalam pagi ini * Kalau menurut artikel yg aku baca, ------------------------------------------------------------------------- When we're exhausted, we have spent not only our strength, but also we've used up our energy reserves. Instead of making a small withdrawal, we have emptied the whole bank account. When we are exhausted, there is no more energy to take action or even think about what we want to do. We are fully worn out, used up, and all our energy has been consumed. It takes longer to regenerate our energy than it would have if we had taken a break when we were at the tired stage. Our body has employed a great amount of adrenaline to sustain us with our reserve energy. To regenerate now means that we will probably experience a cortisone drop, which is a state of feeling uninspired, sleepy, having difficulty waking up, and very low energy. Depending upon how far we have pushed ourselves, this state can last for days, weeks, and even months. When we are exhausted, we have gone to the extreme: we have used our energy to focus and work beyond our normal limits and we experience an equal and opposite reaction with an inability to focus and extreme mental, emotional, and physical tiredness. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ *hopefully, I haven’t gone that far >.<* Ignoring teriakan body’ku, I forced to plan this week’s agenda. And yeah ternyata, there are so many things need to be worked out, worked on, let go, given up, thought over, started over THIS WEEK! Kyaaaaaaaaaaaa… >.< And I was like… “Ok, ok! Kalem kalem… First thing first..Lyn!” Other part of me whispered ……. “Take care of me first, and I guarantee the rest will be fine..” *the place where only can be satisfied by Dating with Him.* I realized.. how I had let my super crazy busy days…drained me to the core…that I only gave Him my left over' time.. Yet, I did have time to do other things, boo me lah! T_T I am sure, that’s the very first thing need to be worked on this week! Aku bilang, “Lord, I feel miserable!!!!” “Kenapa semuanya serasa gak beres? Kenapa semua orang sepertinya menjengkelkan dan mengecewakan….? Aku perlu kerjain ini, perlu kerjain itu. Kenapa kok aku upset banget hanya karena hal ini??? Pengen istirahaaaaaaaaaaaaat” “Erlyn, Erlyn," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed (right now), choose what is better –come to Me, spend time with Me-, and it will not be taken away from you.” *Luke 10:41-42* Jadi ingat, minggu kemarin, malam2…setelah lelah beraktifitas seharian… setelah aku curhat ke dede-ku dan bilang, “Riez, cici sedih-cape dan pengen pergi!!!” *oh yeah, aku sudah lelah berminggu-minggu… * Tidak lama, setelah Rieza meninggalkanku sendirian…as I cried, I opened my Bible, it was Psalm 62 : Find rest, O my soul, in God alone! Sebenarnya, it was pretty clear yeah from last week, that what I really needed was to find rest only in Him! Yet…I forced myself to attain my “super full activity” the whole last week… and let myself to be drained even more! And bang! >.<
Then today…I was extremely exhausted and miserable….and experienced things I read several days ago during my quite time:

We should desire to be in God's presence so much that we let nothing get in our way. And the more we get to know God, the more miserable we will be when we don't spend time with Him. We will feel like the psalmist when he says, "As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God." Yet, sometimes, we let the busyness of life get in the way of our pursuit of God. Instead of longing to spend time with Him, we give Him whatever time we have left over after we've taken care of our jobs, our families and our church responsibilities. God wants us to long to spend time with Him, to seek Him out. He wants nothing - not our families, our friends or our activities - to stand in the way of us growing closer to Him.

Yeah, I may still got a super full agenda this week, but first thing first!
Seek Ye first, for The Sovereign LORD is my strength; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, He enables me to go on the heights. Habakkuk 3:19 - and -
REST in Him alone, as the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. Psalm 42:1-2

Have a blessed week and be recharged!!!!! :D :D